Chapter Eleven
Eleven
“I don’t believe this!” Jason muttered under his breath as they pulled into his parents’ driveway.
“What are all these cars doing here?” Carrie asked from the backseat. Jason had insisted on going back to the apartment to pick her up.
“You’ll see,” he said grimly.
Either his parents owned a car dealership or they were entertaining a houseful of company.
“This is going to be a real circus.” He sighed as he helped Charlotte out of the front seat. Carrie bounded out from the back.
Charlotte’s nervousness, already heightened by the prospect of an audience, grew exponentially.
The door opened and Elizabeth Manning stepped out of the house. Jason’s father and brothers, sisters-in-law and several children all crowded on the front porch behind her. The porch light revealed a variety of expressions, from amusement to elation.
“Well?” his mother asked as she walked toward them.
Jason slid his arm around Charlotte’s waist and slowly, sweetly smiled down at her. In those brief seconds, Charlotte was comforted and reassured by his love. Her senses sang and her heart fluttered wildly.
Jason lowered his head. Charlotte wasn’t sure that kissing in front of his parents, his whole family, was the best thing to do. Oh, what the heck. She was marrying Jason. They were in love, so a simple kiss shouldn’t offend anyone.
Their lips met and she moaned a little with surprise and wonder at the ready response he never failed to evoke from her. Her hand crept up his chest and gripped the lapel of his suit jacket as his mouth made love to hers.
When he broke away, he was breathless. For that matter, so was Charlotte. She marveled that he was able to speak at all. “Does that answer your question, Mother?”
“Charlotte’s agreed to marry you?”
“In a heartbeat,” she answered for herself.
“Isn’t it great!” Carrie shouted.
Spontaneous applause broke out from the porch, followed by several earsplitting whistles. Ryan and Ronnie were pounding their feet but she doubted the little boys understood exactly what the family was celebrating.
The evening was lovely; honeysuckle and roses scented the air. The sun had almost set, casting—literally—a rosy glow over the scene.
Jason bowed as though he were a knight and she his lady, accepting his family’s enthusiasm.
“I hope you realize you’re getting the runt of the litter,” Paul told her, laughing.
“Hey,” Rich put in. “Just be grateful that Charlotte’s willing to put Jason out of his misery. He’s been walking around like a lovesick puppy for weeks.”
Jason glowered at his brothers, but she could tell he wasn’t angry. He took their teasing in stride. From the time he’d brought her to that first softball game, Charlotte had envied him his family, especially the close relationship he shared with his brothers. The three were more than brothers; they were best friends. They looked out for one another and, just as important, they laughed together.
Leah and Jamie were best friends, too. Yet they seemed eager to extend that camaraderie to Charlotte. They’d gone out of their way to include her, to make her feel welcome, a part of the family. One of them.
Jason’s mother came forward, tears in her eyes as she hugged Charlotte. “I couldn’t be more pleased. Jason couldn’t have chosen better.”
“Thank you,” Charlotte said, blushing. Doubt bobbed like a cork to the surface of her mind. Not that she didn’t love Jason. She did, with all her heart, but she still wasn’t sure whether she was the right woman for him.
“I’m so happy for you—and for us,” Jamie said, hugging her next. “The two of you are perfect for each other. Leah and I agreed on that the minute we saw you together.”
A warmth permeated Charlotte’s heart. She wanted so badly to believe it was true.
“We’ll be sisters now,” Leah whispered, taking Charlotte’s hands and lightly squeezing her fingers.
“I couldn’t be marrying into a more wonderful family,” Charlotte said to Jason as they made their way into the house. Carrie followed, carrying Jeremy, while the other children raced excitedly ahead.
His brothers congratulated Jason, slapping him on the back.
Once inside, Jason and Charlotte sat on the couch and the family gathered around them, making them the center of attention. Every eye was on Charlotte, smiling and happy, yet expectant. Puzzled, she glanced up at Jason, wondering if they wanted her to say something, to make some speech or pronouncement.
“Does she know yet?” Paul asked.
“No,” Jason murmured. “I’m leaving the explanation up to Mom and Dad.”
“Smart boy,” Rich said, sitting on the armrest of the couch. He leaned forward eagerly, as though waiting for the opening act of an award-winning play.
“What’s everyone talking about?” she asked.
“Mom?” Jason gestured eloquently toward his mother.
Elizabeth hesitated and turned to her husband. Eric Manning grinned and gave his wife a reassuring nod, which only compounded Charlotte’s curiosity.
“As I said, I’m delighted that you’ve agreed to marry Jason,” Elizabeth began. “He’s waited all this time to meet the right woman and, frankly, Eric and I were beginning to wonder if that was ever going to happen. Now that we’ve met you, Charlotte, we’re glad he waited so long. We understood the moment we saw you together how special you were to him.”
A low murmuring chorus of assent brought a sheen of tears to Charlotte’s eyes. If anyone should be grateful, it was her. Jason had changed her world, opened her mind to everything she’d believed was closed off to her. Love. Family. Joy. Partnership.
The room went strangely quiet. Charlotte looked around and, although everyone seemed genuinely pleased, there was a tension here, too.
“Just tell her, Mother,” Jason advised. “No need to drag this out.”
By now, Charlotte was more than curious. “Tell me what?”
“Don’t rush me,” Elizabeth said, chiding her son. “Charlotte,” she began, “when Jason told us he’d fallen in love with you, his father and I naturally wondered about his intentions. Then he told us he intended to ask you to marry him, so we decided to do a bit of checking in regard to the arrangements. Weddings need to be planned.”
Jason’s fingers entwined with hers, his hold on her hand tightening.
Elizabeth paused as though she expected a response. “Well, yes,” Charlotte said, since everyone was staring at her. “That’s a practical thing to do.”
“I learned some distressing news,” his mother continued. “The yacht club, which we feel is the best place for the reception, is booked solid for the next twenty-three months.”
Once again, like clockwork, all eyes in the room swiveled to Charlotte, awaiting her response. “I hope you put our name on a waiting list, then,” she murmured.
Elizabeth brightened, and some of the tension lines on her forehead seemed to relax. “I did better than that. You see,” she went on, her voice growing more confident, “there happened to be a cancellation, and so I asked they reserve that day for you and Jason.”
“Wonderful.”
“You’re leaving out the most important part,” Jason said, his lips barely moving.
“The date is July fourteenth,” Elizabeth announced, folding her hands and nodding sagely. “Don’t you think that’s excellent timing?”
“That sounds fine,” Charlotte agreed, when it was apparent once again that everyone was waiting for her to respond. A little more than a year would give her and Jason ample time to discover if a marriage between them was viable. By then, they’d certainly know if a sexual relationship was possible. A year gave them both an opportunity to adjust.
“It’s not July fourteenth of next year,” Jason filled in, his gaze locking with hers. “Mother meant July fourteenth of this year.”
Charlotte was too stunned to respond, other than with a gasp. Her mouth fell open in shock.
“What’s the problem, Mom?” Carrie asked, looking surprised.
“But…but no one can plan a wedding of any size in that length of time,” Charlotte managed after a moment. “It’s…impossible.”
“Not for Elizabeth,” Leah said, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “Mom’s been working on this since Jason mentioned the word marriage. ”
“But…”
“I’ve seen to everything,” Elizabeth said confidently. “And it is possible, very possible—if you’ll agree to such a quick wedding. I realize we’re being unfair to you, and I do hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me for taking over like this. The thing is, I know my son, and once he makes up his mind, that’s the end of it. Jason wouldn’t have been willing to wait almost two years.”
“But…there are other places. Besides the yacht club, I mean.”
“Yes, but none of them are as special.”
“Charlotte,” Jason said, raising her hand to his lips and kissing it. “I know it sounds crazy, but Mom’s right. I wouldn’t have wanted to wait just so my mother could put on a fancy wedding. At first I thought she’d gone berserk. The idea’s preposterous, but the more I thought about it, the more I liked it.”
“Leah and I will do anything we can to help,” Jamie inserted. “If you want the truth, we’re both thrilled.”
“Taylor and Christy and their families are flying out. They’ve already made their reservations,” Elizabeth added.
“But they can change them,” Jason told her, frowning at his mother as if to say Charlotte was under enough pressure as it was.
And he was right. She felt as if a giant hammer was poised above her head, ready to smash down on her at any second. The entire family was waiting. Happy. Excited. Thrilled. Carrie’s eyes begged her to say yes.
“Of course, Taylor and Christy can change their reservations, if necessary,” someone said. That was Paul, and Charlotte wanted to thank him.
“Personally, I think it’s wildly romantic,” Leah added. She was sitting in the recliner, her hand resting on her swollen abdomen. Paul was sitting on the armrest, his arm wrapped around his wife’s shoulders, his eyes filled with love as he gazed down on her.
“Naturally I haven’t made any final decisions—that would be up to you,” Elizabeth said.
“I…don’t know what to say.”
“You must think I’m a domineering old woman, and I suppose I am, but nothing’s been finalized. I don’t generally meddle in my children’s lives, but—”
“Actually, if you want to be angry with anyone, it should be with the rest of us,” Jamie told her. “Jason is the family’s last chance for Mom to put on a big wedding. She’d been looking forward to it for years and we all disappointed her. She’s always done a fabulous job with the receptions, though.”
“We’ve had our hearts set on a formal wedding for so long,” Eric said.
“But in three weeks?” Charlotte murmured.
“We’ll all need to work together, of course, but we can do it.” Jason’s mother sounded utterly convinced of that. Her eyes sought out Charlotte’s and, in their beautiful blue depths, Charlotte saw how much Elizabeth wanted this. How much the entire family did. They all looked forward to contributing.
“Charlotte,” Jason said softly, “would you like more time to decide?”
She glanced around; everyone was waiting. The room had gone completely silent; even the children were quiet. Charlotte didn’t know how she could refuse. She closed her eyes and tried to think. If she postponed the wedding, the elder Mannings might hold it against her. It could taint their future relationship. The others were just as eager for this to happen. Each one felt guilty for cheating Eric and Elizabeth out of the family wedding they wanted.
Her whole future with the Manning family could be at stake, Charlotte thought.
“Do I…need to decide now?” she asked after an awkward moment.
“There’s so little time,” Elizabeth warned.
Charlotte glanced from one to the other and knew she couldn’t refuse. She loved Jason and wanted to marry him more than she’d wanted anything in her life. She could be happy with him, happy in ways she’d hardly imagined before. And for the first time she and Carrie had the chance to be part of a real family.
If she were to marry Jason there was the possibility of her having another child. If she conquered her fear of sex. The hollow ache inside her intensified as she studied the soft swell of Leah’s abdomen.
She turned to Jason, needing some kind of confirmation, some indication of what he was thinking. His eyes, so like his mother’s, blue and intense, reflected his love for her. His faith in her. The desire to be part of her life. He believed their love was enough to overcome any obstacle. Their love was all that was necessary.
For now, because she wanted to believe it, too, that was enough for her, too.
“We have a lot to do, then, don’t we?” she said, reluctantly dragging her gaze away from Jason and back to his mother.
“Does that mean you agree?”
She nodded and the entire family broke into cheers.
* * *
The excitement and the enthusiasm carried Charlotte for a full two weeks. Two of the busiest weeks of her life. When she wasn’t putting in her final days at work, she was with Jason’s mother.
During their first afternoon together, it became apparent that Elizabeth was a gifted organizer. She’d have to be in order to pull off a full-scale wedding in less than a month.
Ignorance had been bliss. Had Charlotte realized the sheer magnitude of what they needed to accomplish in such a short time, she would have refused.
Not a day passed that she didn’t have some kind of appointment, some place to be, someone to meet, some decision to make. There were dressmakers, florists, photographers, caterers and printers. And countless decisions, all of which had to be dealt with right that minute. There wasn’t time to ponder or reflect. As soon as one task was completed, Elizabeth steered her toward the next.
Carrie was delighted to be her mother’s maid of honor. Charlotte’s four soon-to-be sisters-in-law were to be her bridesmaids, and that meant frequent conference calls between Montana and Seattle.
When Charlotte somehow found time to see Jason, it was for a few moments, and then only in passing. He, too, was exceptionally busy.
Just when it looked like everything was falling neatly into place, and Charlotte would finally be able to return to a life of her own, a series of showers and parties began. Every night was busy with one event or another. Even the women in the office held a bridal shower for her on her last day with the agency.
The Mannings were a well-established, well-liked family. Three of Elizabeth’s closest friends decided to honor Charlotte with a shower the Monday before the wedding.
“I can’t believe how generous everyone is,” Charlotte said to Carrie, who had just attended the shower with her. They were carrying the wide array of gifts from the car into the apartment.
“Those old ladies don’t even know you,” Carrie remarked, her voice filled with astonishment. “All these gifts! You don’t suppose they’d throw a birthday party for me sometime, do you?”
“Carrie!”
“Just joking, Mom.” She hurried past Charlotte and brought in a gaily decorated box that was still unopened. Charlotte had been told the gift was for Jason, therefore he should be the one to open it. The giver was his godmother, a spry older woman named Donna Bondi.
“You want me to see if Jason’s home?” Carrie asked eagerly.
Charlotte, too, was curious to see what was inside. “Go ahead.” It was almost ten, and under normal circumstances Charlotte would’ve been more concerned about getting to bed so she’d be ready for work in the morning, but her two-weeks’ notice was up and she was officially among the unemployed.
She had the entire week free, or as free as any bride’s time could be five days before her wedding.
Carrie returned a few minutes later with Jason in tow. He smiled when he saw her and kissed her lightly on the lips, then bent to stroke an ecstatic Higgins. “What’s this I hear about Mrs. Bondi sending me a gift?”
“She insisted you open it yourself.”
Jason’s look was skeptical. “Is it a gag gift?”
“I don’t know. Why don’t you find out?” Charlotte leaned against the kitchen counter and crossed her arms. “When you’re finished, I’ll show you all the loot we collected. I had no idea everyone would be so extravagant.”
“Don’t get any ideas about spending our honeymoon writing thank-you notes,” he warned. He was grinning but she caught a serious undertone.
The honeymoon.
She wanted to talk to Jason about that, needed to talk to him about it, but there’d been so little time. They’d each been caught up in a whirlwind of activity. Since the evening he’d taken her to dinner and proposed, she hadn’t spent any uninterrupted time with him. Now wasn’t good, either. He was tired and so was she. Perhaps they could arrange to have lunch one day later this week.
Jason tore at the paper.
“You wouldn’t believe Mom,” Carrie said, her hands on the back of a kitchen chair as she looked on excitedly. “She doesn’t tear a single piece of wrapping paper.”
“It’s all so pretty,” Charlotte defended herself. “And I can use it again.”
“It takes her forever to unwrap anything. I had to help her tonight, or we’d still be there.”
Jason paused when he uncovered a plain white box. He raised his eyes to Charlotte.
“Don’t look at me. I have no idea what Mrs. Bondi sent you.”
Carefully he raised the lid and folded back the white tissue paper, but Charlotte couldn’t see what was inside with Carrie bending over the table.
“All right, Mrs. Bondi,” Jason said, emitting a low whistle.
Carrie covered her mouth and giggled before glancing at her mother.
“What is it?” Charlotte asked.
“Wait until you see this, Mom.”
Using both hands, holding on to the thin straps, Jason lifted the sheerest, slinkiest, blackest nightie Charlotte had ever seen.
Charlotte forced a smile but she felt as though the older woman had slapped her in the face.
* * *
Charlotte knew better than to even try to sleep.
The next morning she’d walk down the church aisle and pledge her life to Jason Manning. She would vow to love and honor this man who’d come to mean so much to her.
To love him….
What would happen if she couldn’t love him properly? What would happen when he realized she was incapable of satisfying him sexually? Would he claim he’d been cheated the way Tom had? Would he seek out another woman who’d give him the gratification she couldn’t?
Oh, please, not that, not again—she couldn’t bear it.
Charlotte didn’t know how Jason would react, but she knew she’d find out soon.
She stared at the bright green numbers on her clock radio as one in the morning became two and then three.
The alarm was set for six. Charlotte’s stomach tightened and a cold sweat broke out on her forehead. Her happiness had been supplanted by her fears, her anxieties and the certainty that her heart would be broken once again.
She’d made an effort to talk to Jason several times, she reasoned. It wasn’t like she’d planned it this way. In the past week alone she’d called him three times, but he’d been so busy with his practice, tying up the loose ends so he’d have two uninterrupted weeks for their honeymoon in Hawaii.
The honeymoon terrified her even more than the wedding.
What was she supposed to do? Wait for Jason to say “I do,” before she whispered in his ear that she wasn’t sure she could satisfy him? Or should she say something before he slipped the ring on her finger?
It seemed cruel to wait until they got to their honeymoon suite. How could she possibly tell him something like that wearing the sheer black nightie Mrs. Bondi had sent?
The tightening in her stomach grew worse, until she thought she might actually throw up.
She shouldn’t have left it to the last minute like this, but she’d had no other options.
She’d tried to spend time alone with Jason, to talk to him, but they hadn’t connected all week. Whenever she saw him, there were other people around. She’d decided to demand time with him after the wedding rehearsal. They had to talk.
Only that hadn’t worked, either.
They’d sat next to each other at the rehearsal dinner, but before she could say more than a few words, his brothers had spirited him away for a bachelor party.
Although she hadn’t been in any mood to socialize, Charlotte had pretended to have a good time with Leah, Jamie, Jason’s two sisters from Montana and her future mother-in-law. If any of them noticed how distracted she was, they must have attributed it to nerves.
By now the bachelor party would be over, probably had been for hours.
What was she going to do?
Her dinner, what little she’d eaten, soured in her stomach and she thought she might be sick. Tossing back the sheets, she climbed out of bed, waiting for the nausea to subside, then wandered aimlessly into the living room.
Dragging the afghan from the back of the sofa, she wrapped it around her shoulders and huddled in the recliner, the dog at her feet. Carrie and Mandy, Russ Palmer’s half sister, were in the bedroom down the hall sleeping soundly, unaware of her torment.
Jason knew so little about her first marriage. He hadn’t asked for information, and she’d volunteered even less. Instead, he’d cautiously tried to learn the details, but she’d put off explaining, afraid she’d lose him.
Soon, within less than twenty-four hours, Jason would know for himself why Tom had gone to another woman. Charlotte would have to face her inadequacies all over again.
As she sat in the dark, the shadows from the street danced against the walls, taunting her, jeering, shouting that she was a fool to believe she could ever satisfy a man.
Another hour passed and still the trapped, restless feeling refused to leave her; if anything, it became more intense. If only she could sleep. If only she could disappear. Vanish. Go someplace where no one would find her.
Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to force her body to relax, but closing her eyes was just one more mistake. In her mind, Tom rose, scorn engraved on his handsome features. A cocky smile lifted the edges of his mouth, as if to tell her this was exactly what he’d been waiting for. As soon as she tried to make love with another man, she’d know everything he’d told her was true. He wasn’t the one to blame for the failure of their marriage; she was. Charlotte—a woman too cold, too stiff, too lacking in sensuality.
Her eyes shot open and hot tears dripped down her face. A series of sobs racked her shoulders and took control of her body until she was trembling from head to foot.
She couldn’t bear it, couldn’t deal with it. Tom was right, he’d always been right. She was a fool to believe that a sexual relationship between her and Jason would be any different, any better. They could kiss without a problem, but after the wedding, he was going to expect a lot more than a few kisses.
Panic filled her lungs, and it was all she could do not to scream in sheer terror.
* * *
Jason was wrapped in a warm cocoon of blankets, but the irritating noise refused to go away. He reached out his hand to turn off the alarm, fumbling with the dials before he realized it wasn’t his alarm.
Opening one eye, he read the digital readout and discovered it was only four. He was entitled to another couple of hours’ sleep. His head throbbed. Who’d come up with the bright idea of a morning wedding, anyway? No one had asked him about it.
The noise increased. It was now a steady pounding.
Someone was at his door. If this was one of his brothers’ idea of a joke, he wasn’t amused. He’d only gotten a few hours’ sleep so far. If anyone in his family was involved in this, he’d make his displeasure clear in no uncertain terms.
Apparently whoever was at his door wasn’t leaving. Jason struggled out of bed, pulled on a pair of pants and walked blindly through his apartment.
“Who is it?” he demanded irritably, wiping a hand down his face.
“Carrie.”
“And Mandy.”
The two vaulted into the room as he opened the door.
“You’ve got to do something!” Carrie cried.
Although his vision was a bit fuzzy, he could tell that she’d been crying.
“We didn’t know what to do,” Mandy wailed.
“About what?”
“This.” Carrie handed him an envelope with his name written across the front. He recognized the handwriting as Charlotte’s, but her usually smooth script was jerky and uneven.
Puzzled that she’d resort to writing a letter and having it delivered in the wee hours of the morning by two worried teenagers, he removed the single piece of paper.
He read it quickly.
Jason ,
I’m sorry seems so inadequate, but I can’t go through with the wedding. Please, if you can, find it in your heart to forgive me.
She’d signed it with her name.
It was a joke. Not a very good one, but he’d laugh over it in a few minutes.
“Who put you two up to this?” he asked, using his sternest voice.
“No one!” Carrie sobbed. “It’s true. I got up to go to the bathroom and Mom’s bedroom light was on, so I went in to see what was wrong and she wasn’t there. She wasn’t anywhere.”
“The car’s gone, too,” Mandy added.
The words galvanized Jason into action. He shook the hair out of his face.
“What are we going to do?” Carrie asked, still crying softly.
“ We aren’t doing anything,” Jason answered firmly.
“But someone has to do something!”
“I’ll take care of it,” he assured them. “Don’t breathe a word of this to anyone, understand?”
“But…”
“Just do as I say. There isn’t time to argue. If I’m not back with Charlotte before the car comes to take her to the church, tell everyone she’s with me.”
“What are you going to do?” Mandy asked, her eyes following him as he trotted back to his bedroom. He turned back and grinned. “Do?” he repeated. “Find her, of course. She’s got a wedding to attend.”