Chapter 10 #2
Finally, he stood, and we walked back out through the crowds. He spoke to no one, which set my nerves on edge. The sharp edge of his scent had dulled a little now, and I could only still catch it because I was paying attention, but I doubt he wanted to risk anyone else realizing.
I’d spoiled the sermon for him, embarrassed him, and now he wasn’t able to speak to anyone.
All because I wasn’t careful.
Finally, I heard the familiar low sweep of my room door opening.
He stepped inside with me.
I felt a breath of relief, just inhaling the faintest trace of my room.
It wasn’t much of a nest, as those instincts had to be carefully monitored, should it drive us mad, but it had the faintest traces that marked it mine.
The slight undercurrent of velvet rose and cocoa, as if it had fused with the stone.
He released his arm from mine and I turned, but he was still close enough for me to feel the heat of his body. I took a single step backward before stalling.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered again. “I was careless.”
Silence passed.
Was that the wrong thing to do?
Was his scent getting sharper again?
What was happening? I didn’t think I was doing anything now.
“You must pray for forgiveness.” His voice was a hot breath in my ear, making me jump.
“Right… now?” I asked.
He wanted to make sure I did it, perhaps?
Maybe it would help him let go of the frustration I’d given him.
The silence seemed to be a ringing yes, and I had to grab his sleeve to balance as I sank down to my knees, as I couldn’t remove my blindfold until he was gone.
My mind scrambled to come up with a prayer of repentance, but even when I found it, it wasn’t one I ever managed to speak.
Silence rang in my ears, the world just a series of movements and sounds. At some point I’d heard a zipper, but I wasn’t processing much of anything.
The blindfold had fallen, Luke’s grip had dislodged it, and my eyes were squeezed shut in terror.
The movements slowed around me.
It was over, I thought.
But this wasn’t right. My heart was beating too quickly in my chest, and all I knew was that I was afraid. I wanted to cry.
I didn’t know why I was upset, though. I’d sometimes squint down at the unbonded alphas in the courtyard from my small window, and my dreams were sinful, so I didn’t understand why this was making me feel so afraid.
It was me that was all wrong.
Shouldn’t I want this?
But the man before me was Luke Anderson. He was an alpha. The son of a High Priest. They were the pillars of virtue. It couldn’t be sinful… unless… unless it was because I’d broken him.
Oh lord.
I’d corrupted him. I’d tricked him into intimacy that we should never engage in before bonding.
“Get up.” The words blitzed past my shock, and I thought he might have said them twice.
I staggered to my feet, shaking, eyes still squeezed shut.
My fear was embarrassing. I should understand what was happening, but I didn’t, and shame was a vicious monster, clawing its way through my heart.
I heard the sound of his zipper for the second time as he did up his pants.
Relief flooded my chest.
That was good.
It was over.
He was done.
I still didn’t know what was going on and I needed to clear my head.
All I could think of was seizing the blankets from my bed and crawling beneath them. I wanted to cry, but that would be stupid.
He was going, though, right?
Then I could… I could figure this all out.
But he hadn’t moved.
His scent was still like a rising storm.
Finally, I jumped as his hand closed around my chin. I felt him take a step closer, and I flinched back. My eyes flickered open for just a second. I saw Luke with chestnut brown hair, pale skin, and hazel eyes. They were wild right now, though, pupils blown.
I shut my eyes again, breath catching.
His fingers gripped my hair all of a sudden, and then he leaned close, lips brushing my neck.
Okay.
That was all, then he would go.
Why was I so scared?
My heart felt like it was trying to smash my ribs open as he pressed his lips to my neck again, free hand finding the collar of my dress.
I bit back a whimper, instinctively gripping his hand as if to hold him still, adjusting my wrist to crush the neckline of my dress against my skin.
I didn’t push him away, I didn’t want to upset him, but my grip dug in as if it would stop everything.
Please stop.
My terrified thought never made it past my lips.
I couldn’t say that to him. I couldn’t tell him what to do. I didn’t even know why he was doing it. I was just afraid. I wanted him to stop whatever was happening.
If he left now, everything would be okay, and this twisted thing inside my chest would go away.
I could cry on my own and not embarrass myself.
None of it mattered, though, because it was at that moment that the door to my room burst open, and Head Sister Matilda came striding in.
CRESCENT
Present - Anarchy
Silence weighed on me like a blanket of lead.
I was numb, having lain here in this cramped bed for hours. Sprawled out, face down at my side, was Sin. And Karma was curled up beside me, arms still trapping me in place. The room was still but for the rise and fall of his chest.
My fingers brushed his cheek, pressed so tight against me as he held on.
So intense. So protective.
And the truth was, I’d never felt so safe.
But he was gone. The smile. The beauty. The person within.
Corrupted.
Sin said he would come back, but I didn’t think that was true.
I knew they were desperate to keep me calm, but he’d been much less confident when I’d overheard him talking to Phantom. It was making them a target on top of everything else, and if he didn’t understand what corruption was, then he didn’t know what a risk I was. I was putting Phantom at risk, too.
A tear slid down my cheek.
Sin might be an omega, but he didn’t know how weak I was. When I’d been in the bathroom with Karma, we’d been so close. He’d been smiling and I’d… I’d let go.
Beneath the stream of hot water, I’d cracked, filled with lust. My palm had pressed to his chest and I’d…
I shut my eyes.
Never before had I been possessed with such evil.
That was why he’d gone mad—I knew it.
I wondered what Sin would have thought of me getting intimate with Karma so quickly?
There was no way he wouldn’t be shocked by such debauchery.
He was strong, he provided for his pack, did things I’d never be able to, and he obviously knew about his designation; plus he wasn’t a gold pack.
It had never occurred to me that I’d be matched with an omega. They didn’t talk about omega pairings at the Convent, or male omegas at all. Only female gold packs lived with the Sisters, and we were only spoken to about alpha mates, as if there were something secret about omega scent matches.
But when Sin had told me he was an omega… I’d never felt so elated in my life. In another world, where this could work out, maybe he could teach me how to be better.
They were fighting for their lives in here, and I was destroying them.
I jumped as I felt another aura burst into the air, faint, but present.
From the next dorm?
Why did an alpha keep doing that?
It wasn’t quiet, and something told me this place never was. I could hear the howls of insanity, distant and far, the low echoing screams. The dull bangs, as if someone was smashing their body against a metal wall.
The others in the room were sleeping through everything, which indicated it was normal.
My eyes drifted to the door with the little window on it. Occasionally, I’d see a flash of movement from my vantage. Then nothing.
Another of them for me to break.
I was ruining them.
I had ruined them.
I’d already crossed so many lines. They’d seen my eyes, my body, even… I squeezed my eyes shut.
Guilt clawed at my chest, drawing more tears to my eyes.
They couldn’t even dark bond me, not with Sin in the pack. Dark bonds and princess bonds limited a pack to only one omega. So the only option would be a normal bond, and that wouldn’t be enough to contain the corruption—not if we were scent matches.
How was it possible I wouldn’t destroy them all?
And to that, I had no answer. I’d been weak over and over, and I would fail again.
The tiny rays of a future I’d been fighting toward—the chance at forgiveness—it was all gone, now.
But this was Sin’s pack.
Sin’s alphas.
I would break them all before he could stop me.
As I curled up in warmer arms than had ever held me before, I began to formulate a plan to save them.