Chapter 17
Anchor – Four Days Later
I lean my head back against the wall and close my eyes as I rest my arms on my bent knees and sigh, my head fucking spinning.
I’m tired, I’m so fucking tired.
I’ve barely slept, barely eaten, not been to Rebel’s Honeys, my dad has had to take over the books for me, and I’ve only just managed to arrange the club run in a few days.
I’m falling apart, I know it, I can feel it, the brothers can see it, but there isn’t anything anyone can do unless they can turn back fucking time and stop me from coming to the wrong conclusion.
I squeeze my eyes tight and drop my head as a sob hits my ears, the urge to go into the room consuming me, but I stay put, keeping my promise to Tank and Summer.
Four days since I found Summer in that fucking warehouse, four days since those fuckers, including her mother, have been on the run. Four fucking days since I ran into my room and found her dangling on some rope from the ceiling.
She’s barely spoken, barely eaten, panics every time a male goes into the room, and always stares up at the beam like she’s thinking about trying it again.
Doc, Tank, Ace and me, we’re the only ones who can enter the room, she can’t handle anyone else without having a panic attack and passing out, meaning, Doc, Tank, Ace or myself is with her at all times.
Mainly me, the brothers taking over to force me to have a break every few hours, and yes I do mean force because I hate leaving her, especially after she tried to hang herself.
I should never have gone for a ride.
Another sob echoes underneath my door, and I flinch and fist my hands.
I’m leaned the wall outside my room at the clubhouse while Summer, my girl, my fucking heart speaks to Dr Philips, a therapist Tank knows from the hospital who understands discretion being an ex-old lady herself from a different MC.
I wanted to be in there with her while she opened up, so I could understand exactly what she’s been through, but I knew Summer needed this privacy to get everything out.
I just wish she’d speak to me, fuck, yell at me, something. She’s shutting down and I don’t know how to stop her, I don’t know how to help her especially when she most likely hates me.
What I did, the petty revenge, she was right, it was classed as cheating even if in my mind I thought she was back with her ex. I cheated, and I fucking hate myself for it.
Fuck, how does Trigger deal with this?
“Brother,” I hear Doc mutter before I feel him sit down beside me, and I side-eye him as he runs a hand through his hair with frustration and concern etches off him.
“You look stressed, pres,” I mutter as I look towards the opposite wall.
“I have every fucking right to be, Eric,” he returns, and I look at him again, him using my legal name, throwing me a little.
He has bad news.
“Just tell me, Asher,” I demand firmly, and he shakes his head, not looking at me.
“I don’t want you doing a Trigger, brother,” he chokes, “I was so close to not saving him, not even half a second and then your girl doing what she did because she can’t live with what she went through, something none of us can even begin to comprehend, I don’t want to lose my friend.”
I bite down on the inside of my cheek, my heart pounding as fear rushes through me.
“Just tell me,” I whisper, and I brace myself.
He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, obviously wondering what to do but knowing he has to tell me, he states, “Summer’s test results came back clean despite the horror she was put through. No sexually transmitted diseases have been found.”
He words trail off and I look at him to see he’s already looking at me with concern and fear.
“But…” I prompt.
“She’s ten weeks pregnant, brother,” he whispers and the corner of my eyes go black, dizziness taking me as his words surprise the fuck out of me.
Fuck this is going to kill her.
I blink as I look forward, my breathing escalating.
She’s pregnant with her rapist’s baby and she doesn’t fucking know.
“Stone went and spoke to the man that begged us to look after Summer when you walked out with her. Apparently, after her third pregnancy, they decided to put her on the shot, every thirteen weeks, injecting her, but some shit went down that he wouldn’t say and they forgot to inject her a few months ago,” he explains quietly and I drop my head as my eyes tear up.
Fuck, fuck, fuck…
How am I going to tell her this?
“This will kill her,” I choke out my thoughts and Doc clamps his hand on my shoulder and whispers, “We’ll make sure she has round the clock protection, brother, day and night so you can rest and we’ll help her anyway we can.”
I shake my head as a few tears fall.
“Only she can make the decision on what she wants to do,” he continues, “She’s already had three babies kicked out of her and she will be at high risk with the pregnancy if she decides to go through with it, or any pregnancy for that matter due to her trauma but the fact the baby was conceived through rape, she may want to terminate and that might fuck with her head even more, so you need to be prepared, brother,” I look at him as he clears his throat then asks, “Are you sure you want to pursue a relationship with Summer?”
I swear to fuck, never, fucking never have I wanted to hit my pres, my best fucking friend, until now.
I scowl and give him the death glare I give our enemies before I fucking kill them and he puts his hand up in defense with a wince and quickly states, “I don’t mean it like that, Eric, and you know it.
What I mean is, she’s going to be struggling for a very fucking long time, and this baby, it will send her down a spiral where she will need professional help for years to come.
All I’m asking is, are you ready for something like that? You did walk away from her.”
I look away from him and grit my teeth.
“I thought she was hooking up with her ex, Asher, you know this,” I remind him forcefully.
“Yet you said you loved her and didn’t even think to question the situation,” he unhelpfully reminds me, and I glare at him again.
Fucker has no right to question my love for Summer. He was going to marry a nutjob and actually broke up with his love. The man is being a hypocrite and he knows it.
I snap, “I was fucking scared, alright!” His eyes widen at my confession and I shake my head as I run my hand through my hair with frustration and admit, “I never wanted an old lady, I wanted to make the club proud, to make my fucking father who didn’t speak to me for years, because I chose a home with my mama over the coldness with him and Hannah while they were going through their shit with him cheating, and I was scared what she would say if I did confront them.
I was scared she was going to tear my heart out of my chest and now I have to live with the decisions I fucking made at that time.
” I sigh, “She’s mine, she has always been mine, I was just too hurt to see it at the time. ”
“What if she decides to keep the baby?” he asks quietly as the door to my room opens and Dr. Philips walks out, giving us both a small smile, cutting our conversation off.
“She’s opened up a little bit, struggled through most of it but it’s a start,” she says and goes to walk past us but stops beside me and says, “And uh, Anchor, next time I think you should be in there with us,” as her violet eyes look my way and I nod once before she walks away.
Swallowing hard, I stand, Doc following suit and I put my hand on the doorhandle as I answer Doc’s question, “If she keeps the baby, then I’ll help her through it and adopt it,” before I state, “And brother, the club run, I’ll drive the van, Summer will be coming with us,” before I walk into the room, Doc’s, “I’m proud of you brother,” just hitting my ears as I shut the door.
Taking a deep breath I look towards my bed and see Summer, wearing my shirt and a pair of leggings, leaning against the head board, staring at her bent knees.
Her face is bare of makeup, and her hair is in a messy bun, and I swear she is fucking gorgeous.
Knowing I need to rip the band-aid off even though I don’t want to, I walk over to the bed and take a seat next to her.
She tenses but doesn’t move away even as I slowly grab her hand, linking our fingers together, she doesn’t pull back even though every fiber of her being is most likely telling her otherwise.
My brave fucking girl.
“How was therapy, sunshine?” I ask quietly after a few minutes of silence, not knowing how to bring up the pregnancy.
“Hard,” she whispers, not looking at me. She admits, “I never realized I never got to be mad at you for what you did, for how you handled the situation. I never got to process it properly, to shout at you or hit you.”
She has every right to be angry at me, I wouldn’t hold it against her if she made my life hell for years to come, doesn’t mean I’m going to let her go..
I squeeze her hand and whisper, “Be mad, baby, hit me, shout at me, do everything you need to get your anger at me out, heck, drain my bank accounts for all I care, take a leaf outta the Untamed Hell Fire’s old ladies books and paint my bike bright pink and throw glitter bombs in my home, in my hair because I’m not letting you go, just like I shouldn’t have let you go all those months ago. ”
She doesn’t look at me, continuing to stare at the knees but she does sniffle and I squeeze her hand even tighter, trying to give her my strength.
“I’ve got to go on a club run in a few days, the trip is four days and you’re coming with me, sunshine,” I say after another few minutes of silence and she nods but doesn’t say anything.
She knows we won’t leave her alone — me and the brothers — but she also knows I won't be away for four days and leave her behind, not after everything. I barely coped the first time I went on a run after we got together, continuously calling her, messaging her and now, she’ll be with me every time, she has to be.
“I spoke to your lawyer,” I whisper, hoping to get some reaction from her, and it works. She looks at me and frowns as she asks, “Isn’t my inheritance all gone? Why would you speak to him?”
“Baby, it isn’t gone. Your money is still safe, your house is still there waiting for you, along with your car, and a new card has been issued.
He needs to confirm if you want the same agreement though.
He’s aware of what has happened and agreed to do a FaceTime call with you if that makes you feel better. ”
Summer looks back at her knees, and I go to groan believing she’s going to shut down again but I swallow it as she whispers, “I want to sell the house.” shocking me.
“Baby,” I begin but she quickly states, “I always had plans to sell it, Eric, the house is like a shrine of my dad and I hate it, I just didn’t have a chance to get the process started on putting it on the market.”
Well fuck, when she puts it that way.
“Okay, I'll get it sorted for you.” I murmur, already seeing she’s made her mind up and curiosity picks at my conscious. I know I shouldn’t ask, that I should leave it be but… “What were you planning after selling the house?” I ask.
She side-eyes me, her cheeks heating, and I smile widely.
“Good to know,” I murmur to myself, and she squeezes my hand, that one little action making my heart flutter, giving me the hope I need and she doesn’t even realize it.
The conversation with Doc hits me suddenly and I swallow hard. Fuck I love this girl, and I hate that I have to burst our bubble.
I sigh as I look at her, getting her attention, our eyes locking and instantly I’m entranced, I’m locked in like I was that first time we met at the strip club.
Fuck, I don’t want to do this.
“I love you, Summer,” I whisper and her eyes tear as I squeeze her hand tightly and choke, “I love you so much and no matter what you choose, I will always stand beside you, being your strength because you are my one, you have always been my one.”
Her eyes race between mine with questions and I hate myself as I whisper, “Doc came to see me while you were speaking with Dr. Philips,” I swallow hard, “Tank managed to get some of your blood after you-you… Anyway, Doc said the results showed you were good health wise but they also showed that you are ten weeks pregnant, sunshine.”
Her eyes widen before her face pales dangerously so scaring me as her body begins to tremble as she soaks in my words before she instantly shakes her head in denial as her tears fall.
Fuck, I’ve never seen someone go through so many emotions all in one go before.
“No, please, I-I can’t be, I can’t, I can’t, please, Eric, no, please…” She cries, and I instantly take her into my arms as her sobs tear from her and she screams, “No, I can’t please no, I can’t please…”
I notice Doc and Tank standing in the doorway on standby both looking sorrowful and my tears fall as Summer screams against my chest, full of pain, fear and agony and I hold her tighter to me, silently promising to help her through this.
Her pain is my pain, and my strength is her strength.
She will get through this, she has to because life isn’t worth living without her, I’ve tried it and slowly died as each day went by.
This girl is my life, and if she decides to keep the baby, I’ll ensure it knows I am their father.