Chapter 19
Anchor – Two Days Later
I sigh as I run a hand down my face, tiredness wanting to take over, and I push it away like I always do, but fuck if I’m not exhausted.
Sleeping has become non-existent to me, I’m fucking petrified I’m going to wake up and Summer would have done something stupid to run from her pain, from her torment.
Even now, despite the fact Stone has said he’ll be on Summer watch with Doc and Tank both working in the E.R.
today, I can’t make myself go to my room and catch a few z’s, instead I’m sat at the bar watching Summer stare off into the distance with my step-mama Hannah and Ashley sitting next to her, trying to get her involved with the conversation but failing, worrying them.
Trigger is at the hospital with his dad and Cole, his and Ashley’s oldest boy that they had in high school.
The reason why Trigger married her sooner than he thought he would, becoming a jackass before seeing what he’s done, giving Ashley a break from sitting with their baby.
And instead of having a bath, instead of getting some sleep herself, she opted to sit with my girl making me fucking proud to call her family and yes, Summer is my girl. She has always been my girl.
I just lost sight of that when I misread the situation, which led to her terror.
It doesn’t matter how much my brothers all claim it isn’t my fault, that I didn’t know, that her bitch of a mother who is still hiding out was always going to sell her for her inheritance which the bitch never got.
It still feels like my fault and I don’t think I will ever let that feeling go, the guilt, the pain. .
I look down at my untouched beer in my hand and swallow hard.
If I hadn’t taken the situation the way I had, the fucker would have been dead, and her mama wouldn’t have been able to get near her because I wouldn’t have wanted her out of my sight.
I look across the common room where no brothers are standing, respecting Summer, who is still in her own world, as Ashley and my step-mama look at her with concern.
Guess she hasn’t said anything at all.
On the run, I thought I was breaking down her walls again, fuck, I even managed to hold her during the night while she fought against the nightmares, pleading for them to leave her be, to let her go breaking my fucking heart.
As soon as we got home, she shut down again and has barely said two fucking words to anyone but Trigger’s son Cole and Dirty’s son Caleb who just turned seven, both boys understanding their assignment where Summer is concerned, always going up to her, forcing her to have to speak because otherwise she’d feel guilty ignoring two innocent kids who are anything but innocent.
Ashley looks towards me, her green eyes filled with worry, fear, confusion and sadness, and my stomach sinks.
Fuck, I’m slowly losing my girl, and I don’t know what to fucking do. I don’t know how to handle this situation without making it worse, heck, she hasn’t even brought up the baby or what she’s even thinking about doing where it’s concerned.
I’ve seen her stare at her stomach, I’ve seen the tears fall, I’ve even seen the fear in her eyes, yet she won’t talk to me, won’t let me help her through her thoughts, and has even refused to speak to her therapist about it.
“You need to go get some rest, brother,” Stone says as he walks over and stands beside me, but I don’t look his way, keeping my eyes on my girl, who still hasn’t moved from her spot, staring but not seeing anything, not even noticing the worried eyes from around the room.
Fuck even the clubwhores are concerned about her.
Trying to survive her ordeal was bad enough, but the pregnancy, fuck, she’s turned mute.
“I can’t, brother, I physically can’t,” I admit quietly, and he clamps his hand on my shoulder and squeezes with support in understanding, yet he still tries as he opens his mouth.
“You’re burning out,” he states the obvious.
“And what if I turn my back and she tries what she did again?” I ask him again, not taking my eyes off Summer, who finally blinks out of her stupor, our eyes instantly locking and damn, I could get lost in those dark blue eyes of hers. I let them suck me in just like they have since day one.
“You have brothers that will make sure that doesn’t happen,” he whispers, and I swallow hard, keeping my eyes locked with Summer’s.
“I can’t, brother,” I repeat, the image of her dangling from the beam knocking me off my feet yet again.
Every fucking time I think about leaving her with a brother so I can catch up on shit, that image hits me and I knock the idea away.
I don’t give a shit that I’m behind looking at new maps for our routes, I don’t give a fuck that I haven’t been to Rebel’s Honeys, if Summer isn’t beside me, then none of it fucking matters because I’m petrified she’ll try to kill herself again.
If the past nineteen months have taught me anything – I can’t live without her.
“Eric,” Stone sighs as Summer tilts her head, questions shining in those beautiful eyes of hers that I love oh so fucking much.
I want her in my arms, I need to feel her warmth.
“If this were Rose?” I ask before he can say anything as I look his way for a moment, and he sighs, dropping his head.
“Never mind,” he murmurs, and I half smile as I look back towards Summer, who is still staring my way.
Fucker is obsessed with his old lady, borderline unhealthy kind of obsessed, but I guess her leaving him after being told she was the other woman and not knowing where she went would do that for you.
Stone’s biggest fucking mistake was marrying Elsie. He knew she could have been lying about being pregnant, yet he put the club's reputation first.
Guess he should have seen the shitshow that was about to happen, and he’s lucky Rose came back to him, though his marrying her without her knowledge was bound to do that.
I give Summer a small smile and nudge my head, wanting her near me, and I watch as she looks around the room, assessing where every male is standing.
My dad notices her looking around first and takes a step back, drawing some of the other brothers' attention.
Then, one by one, each brother standing in the room for family day takes a step back, creating a path towards me and I swear to fuck, my pride builds for my brothers.
Summer’s eyes tear, and she slowly stands before making her way to me, her head held high, though I don’t miss the tremble in her hands, and Stone mutters, “Brave fucking girl,” and I nod in agreement.
As soon as she’s close, I lift my left arm and, without missing a beat, Summer walks into my embrace, pressing her face into my shoulder, and I quickly wrap my arm around her waist before her body catches up with her mind and wants to coil back.
“You look stressed,” she whispers, and I press my nose against her head, inhaling her lavender scent, something different from the perfume she used to wear, but I guess being taken changes you in some ways.
“When you are around, I’m never stressed, sunshine,” I whisper in return, not taking my nose from the top of her head, not giving a shit if people are watching.
“I don’t get it,” I hear Thunder mutter, “She won't come near any of us, which is just a fucking tragedy really because I’m awesome, but she’ll willingly go into his embrace?”
A smirk forms as Summer snorts, clearly hearing him as Stone sighs, “Fuck’s sake, Thunder, first hitting your step-sister over the head, hoping she would duck and get her memories back, and now this? Are you fucking high or something?”
“Hey,” Thunder whines, and I look at him just as he states, “I got Brit’s memories back, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, and a concussion,” I remind him, and Sum looks at me with questions, and I grin wide as Thunder snaps, “Don’t you dare!”
“Brittany was attacked after Doc ended things,” I state, and she nods and murmurs, “Yeah, he was being an idiot, not relying on your club, I remember you telling me.”
“Fuck’s sake,” Thunder groans, gaining chuckles from everyone else, seeing Summer is invested in the story.
“Well, dipshit over there had once tried to playfully hit Brit with a bat during a game, and she ducked, but Thunder…” I let my words trail off as Summer's eyes widen as she stutters, “Please tell me he did not think something like that would trigger her memory?”
The brothers laugh as Thunder drops his head, and I grin wide and admit, “Yes, he did, and she did not duck. He knocked her out, and I’ll give him his dues, she did get her memories back, but the fucker was lucky Doc didn’t kill him.”
Summer’s brows raise in surprise before she confirms, “You MC brothers do like to mess up a lot, huh?”
“Yeah, baby,” I agree as I cup her cheek, gently running my thumb along her jaw, and I murmur, “We do,” guilt like no fucking tomorrow filling me.
“You didn’t know, Eric,” she whispers already seeing where my head has gone and I shrug.
I’ll never forgive myself, no matter what she says.
“Amber was always going to sell me,” she tries, but I shrug again, and she sighs as she leans her head forward, pressing it against my chest, and I press my lips against her head just as the front door opens, gaining everyone’s attention.
“Shirley?” my dad says, completely shocked, and I look up and lock eyes with my mama’s brown ones, and I relax against Summer, so fucking glad to see her.
Mama has been away on a case, so the fact she’s here, in her uniform no less, in a room full of brothers, including my fucking father, who she cannot stand for my girl, fuck, I’m one lucky guy.
Ignoring everyone in the room, especially Dad, Mama walks down the steps, only acknowledging Hannah with a hug before making her way to us. Just as Summer pulls back to see what the commotion is as my dad snaps, “You’re seriously going to ignore me?”