Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Mac
I t was amazing how fast time moved when you weren’t paying attention. As I threw the ball with Buster one cool fall morning, I looked back over all that had changed in the few weeks since Olivia and Rosie had barged into my life.
For starters, tossing the ball with Buster was no longer my chore, and something that now belonged to Rosie. But she’d spent the night with her friend Shae, this only after Olivia and I had had a long talk with Shae’s father about the day she’d scared the shit out of us by sneaking off with Ryan, so here I was in the yard while Buster played in the dew-covered grass.
I still didn’t know if Rosie and Ryan had snuck off and had sex—didn’t want to know because that would possibly mean jail time for me. What I did know was that not even a week later, he was out of the picture, and Rosie was hanging out with Shae more .
And this chilly morning, she was gone, and I had plans with my woman… just as soon as the damn dog was settled. Buster forgot the tennis ball and started making his necessary poop circles, spinning to the left and right in combinations of two to the left, three to the right, and we were in business.
I was trying to decide whether breakfast-in-bed seduction was necessary, or if I wanted to just go in and wake Olivia with my mouth between her legs, when the screen door banged behind me.
I looked over my shoulder to find her huddled in a big fluffy robe, cradling a coffee cup. The morning sun spotlighted her perfectly, giving her skin the softest glow. When she’d walked into that island bar, it had been the same. Just bam . The minute she showed up, my whole world turned on its head. As if the sun said, This beautiful woman needs a spotlight, so here’s a sunray of her very own.
I turned to fully drink in the sight of her, aware that, once again, I was shifting on the inside. I’d never thought to find lasting love. Had given up on the idea of family.
And along came Rosie and Olivia, and now they made up my world. I couldn’t imagine my life without them. There was still no real resolution to the job situation. I’d been checking to see if my retirement would transfer if I moved, but asking HR any pointed questions was risky. Couldn’t tip them off. Who knew what they might share with the higher-ups, even though the conversations were supposedly confidential. I didn’t trust them.
All I knew for certain was that I wanted this woman in my life.
She caught my eye and tilted her head. “What’s that look for? ”
I began a slow stalk toward her, letting all the heat and desire, and maybe even love, show in my gaze.
She turned to face me, her back to the porch rail as I crowded her, taking her mug in one hand to set it aside and untying the sash at her waist with the other. Her nipples peaked under the cold morning air. With the knuckle of my forefinger, I traced the edge of her low-cut silky gown, down the soft mound of one breast and back up to the opposite side, where I pushed the thin strap off her shoulder. The gown fell loose, exposing one tantalizing breast.
I shifted my stance and bent low to take her perfect tip into my mouth.
She exhaled softly, threading her fingers into my hair. I slipped the remaining strap off her shoulder, exposing her other nipple before circling it with my tongue. “I love these delicious tits,” I said, palming her. The weight of her globes filling my hand, spilling over, the indent of my fingers in her soft flesh, the tips peaked in the cold morning air—all of it was a dream come true.
“I love this gown and how sensually it glides over your skin.” I took one pert nipple in my mouth, sliding my hand down the soft front to cup the heat between her legs.
“No panties, Liv? Did you come out here bare so I could have easy access?”
Beneath my hands, she squirmed, her hips thrusting against my hand. I slid a leg between hers, pressing against her heat.
“Look at you riding my leg. Fucking gorgeous. You want me to slip the hem of this gown up? I could be inside of you in seconds. Is that why you came out here looking like a wet dream?”
“Mac,” she whimpered, the longing and need in her voice matching the desire coursing through me .
I backed away from her with a groan of protest and took her dainty hand in mine, pulling her toward the door. “Problem is, gorgeous, I want to take my time with you.”
Letting her see all the desire I held for her, I led her inside the house, the warmth of the kitchen hitting my skin. I pushed her against the door, swiping the robe and gown off in one move.
Her hands slid under the hem of my shirt, branding the skin of my stomach, my chest. I wanted her hands on me, needed to be inside this woman like I needed air to breathe. I craved the connection, wanted to consume all of her. Drink her in and let her passion give me life.
I cupped her hips and took her mouth, drinking from her, devouring her. It was a claiming kiss, a soul-destroying kiss, and I never wanted it to end.
She shifted, wrapping a leg around my hip as if she, too, couldn’t get close enough.
I broke the kiss, lowered to a knee, and feasted on her until her cries grew loud, supporting her as she went limp around me.
I shoved my pants down as I stood, and then I buried myself inside her. Using the door to brace, I lifted her other leg around my hip and drove into her over and over again, giving her everything I had inside me.
Nothing mattered. Nothing except this beautiful woman and the way she commanded my body. Words rose from my soul with every thrust, “You’re beautiful. You’re everything. You’re mine,” until the pressure built and shimmered and, in a blinding flash, washed over me.
When I came down, I lowered her legs, slid my hands to cup her jaw, and kissed her, whispering her name against her lips like a love song.
She cupped my cheek and kissed me softly. “Mac. ”
I opened my eyes to find hers on me.
“I love you,” I blurted into the tender moment.
She went still.
“I never thought I’d say the words to anyone again. I never thought my life would feel this full.” I paused to kiss her again because I couldn’t not. She cupped my cheek, her eyes glossing with a sheen of tears.
“I don’t care what happens. I want you in my life. I’m tired of pretending. I want to claim you, let the whole world know that you are mine, but more importantly, that I am yours. All of me. Belongs to you.”
Her thumb traced my lip, my cheek. Then she pushed me away and bent to retrieve her robe.
Not what I expected.
She slipped the robe on and slid away from me, gliding down the hall to the bathroom as if I hadn’t just laid myself bare.
I stood frozen, staring blankly at the empty space by the door.
Had I misread her? All of the long nights we’d spent together, the depth of emotion in her eyes, the connection we had when we made love. The way she showed me in a thousand different ways that she cared. Had I made it all up in my head? Had I gotten it all wrong? If so, how big of a fool had I been?
One other time, a woman had walked away. I’d been so blindsided when Diedre stood me up, left me stranded and alone in front of a church full of guests like a fool. She’d taken a piece of me, my heart, and all my hopes and dreams for a loving wife and family. I’d waited over fifteen years to feel this depth of emotion again, to lose myself in a woman. Had promised myself I’d never be that vulnerable again.
For Rosie, I could live through the pain of Olivia not loving me in the same way, but I didn’t want to. I wanted all of Liv, the way she had all of me.
“Mac,” she called softly from behind me. I spun like an eager child looking for a prize, to find her at the couch. She held out a hand to me, and like the fool I was, I staggered to her, stepping over the shattered pieces of my rejected heart.
I slipped my hand into hers, and she directed me to the couch like she was coaxing a wild animal. When she had me seated, she slipped into my lap, wrapping my arms around her.
Then, she smiled and kissed me.
“I had to go clean up,” she said, running her fingers through my hair. She paused at my frozen reaction and leaned back to look into my eyes. “Oh, sweetheart. You look so stunned.”
How could such an intelligent woman be so dense? “Liv, I told you that I love you.”
Her lips tipped up softly. “I heard.”
“You walked away.” I choked on the words. It was all I could do to push them out.
“Is that what this look is for? Because I wanted to concentrate on the words you were saying, rather than the mess running down my leg?”
“Olivia.” I said her name as a warning and made to shove her away. I couldn’t be here for this flippant attitude. Couldn’t sit by if she was going to make fun of me.
“Stop.” Her voice held a command and required my attention. “Mac Collins. You need to learn something about me. When the man I love tells me he loves me for the first time, even though I’ve seen it in his gaze, felt it in his touch, and witnessed it in the way he takes care of me every single day… I don’t want anything distracting me. Especially when he ’s scared to death and looks like he might bolt naked out the door.”
Her words thawed my insides slightly, though the rejection still lingered.
“Let’s get one thing clear,” she continued, wrapping one arm around my shoulder and cupping my jaw. “I love you too. I wouldn’t walk away from you, ever.”
She kissed me softly, taking away a little more of the sting.
“Sweetheart, look at me,” she whispered, cupping my jaw.
I did then, really looking deep into her eyes. What I found was compassion, kindness, acceptance, and love.
“I love you too.” Her voice shook as the words left her mouth and became real. Diving deep into my heart, touching that soft wound that had never fully healed, that lonely place deep inside me that longed for someone to see me—to love me.
“Don’t ever leave me.” The pleading words came on a whisper, ripped from my heart and thrust into the space between us before I could stop them. “I don’t deserve you, won’t ever be good enough for you. But please don’t ever leave me.”
Her expression shifted, tears filling her eyes. “I won’t. I’m so sorry, Mac. That was heartless of me to walk away a moment ago.” She kissed me again, as if trying to soothe the hurt. “You’ve been so gentle with me, making me feel so secure. I just took for granted that you knew how I felt. I should’ve taken more care, been softer, especially because I know you have such a tender heart. Please forgive me.”
I could and I would. But maybe I also needed to grow a pair and realize that just because she hadn’t immediately responded the way I wanted her to, didn’t mean her feelings weren’t there.
“I shouldn’t be so sensitive,” I admitted, finally finding the strength to communicate.
“Mac, it’s okay to be sensitive. It’s one of my favorite things about you. I promise to honor your sensitive heart.”
“You could make it up to me by marrying me.” The words popped out before I could stop them. But once they were in the open, hanging between us, the future became real. I wanted her. Wanted her and Rosie in my life for always.
“How would that work? One of us would have to give up the job.”
“I’d give up everything for you,” I vowed. “I can find another job. I can sell the lake house. I can freeze my retirement. Hell, the way Rosie likes to spend money, I’ll be working until I’m dead, anyway.”
Liv studied me, her eyes flashing back and forth between mine. “I want to say yes.”
“Then say it,” I pleaded, “let’s just do it. We’ll sort the rest out later.”
A beautiful smile spread across her face, and her eyes softened. “Mac, honey. It’s not that easy.”
“It is, Liv. It’s just that easy.” A little twinge of doubt sprouted low in my gut. “Unless you don’t want me.”
“I do, Mac. There’s just so much at stake, and this feels really fast.”
I scrambled for a backup plan. “How about we just make this a permanent move, then.” I needed some commitment from her.
Silently, she watched me. Stroking a hand through my hair, studying my eyes, trying to read me.
“I’m serious, Liv. I want you here. With me. I don’t care what it takes. I’ll turn in my notice at the station tomorrow if that’s what it takes.”
Her throat bobbed as she swallowed. “Mac, I’m scared they’ll make me out like some kind of boss predator shacking up with a subordinate.”
I shifted her on my lap, turning her to straddle me, and cupped her cheeks. Gazing into her eyes like I could will her to see how I felt about her, about us, and how the rest didn’t matter. “We have a history. Long before the fire department. We have a daughter as proof.” My heart thudded in my chest. Beating so hard, so fast. “Just be with me. Be all-in with me.”
Her hand slipped over mine, lacing our fingers and pressing them to her heart. “I’d feel so guilty if you left the department you love because of us.” Tears pooled in her eyes.
“Sweetheart, there’s a reason you do this job when you’re young.” The corner of my mouth tugged up. “And I’m getting too old. I don’t recover from all-night runs like I used to. I can’t fall back asleep after tones drop, whether it’s my station or another station. If I’m honest, I only stayed because I’ve been so close to retiring, and I thought if I could just hang on for another few years, I’d be okay.”
I closed my eyes and admitted, “I love my guys, my crew. But I don’t love the job anymore.” The huge confession felt like a weight being lifted from my shoulders. “If I could’ve moved to a role that had more regular hours…”
“The role I took from you.”
My eyes popped open. “Sweetheart, you didn’t take the chief’s position from me. You earned it. You do a hell of a good job, too.”
That earned me a tentative smile. “So what now?”
“You and Rosie move in with me permanently, where you belong. I’ll turn in my notice and start looking for something else. We’ll be a family.”
We decided to wait for Rosie to get home to tell her our happy news and spent the day celebrating in bed. Later that afternoon, Olivia left to get her, and I schemed up a special meal for my ladies, complete with flowers on the table and steaks on the grill.
Rosie bounded up the stairs, Buster hot on her heels, and straight into my arms. “Hey, Mac,” she cried like she hadn’t seen me in a month.
“Hey, squirt. Oh, sorry, Buttercup . Did you have fun?” I set her back on her feet and watched as she folded onto the porch swing and patted the seat for Buster to join her, knowing damn good and well that the dog wouldn’t jump. Except, to my surprise, he did.
“We had a blast. What’d you and Mom do?”
Olivia’s shoulders rose to her ears as she looked at me with wide eyes, clearly asking if now was the time.
I checked the steaks and slipped the tongs onto the hook, then walked to Olivia and gave her a peck on the cheek.
Then I faced my daughter.
“We talked. And now I need to talk to you.” I pulled a chair over to her and sank into it, dropping my elbows to my knees, not knowing how to go about this.
“Sweetheart, I think you know it was a huge surprise when I found out about you.”
Her eyes shuttered as if she were afraid of what I might say. This kid. Stole my heart and put it back together without even trying. But now she looked scared to death. Of what, I wasn’t sure. I extended my hand to offer her some comfort.
“Rosa Nell, will you look at me, please?”
She slipped her small hand into mine. Hands I’d give anything to go back in time and see when they were little. Still, hers were small and soft, and the sight of her trusting me made me a sentimental fool. I gave her fingers a reassuring squeeze. “I have a confession to make.”
She swallowed, her eyes wide, face stark.
“I saw your TikTok a while back. When you showed up here that first day, I knew exactly who you were.”
She paled and swallowed again. “Mac, I can explain.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, sweetheart. Quite the contrary. Everything you did set us up to find each other, and I’m grateful that you did.”
“I feel like there’s a ‘but’ coming.” She looked wide-eyed at Olivia. “Mom? Is there a ‘but’?”
I didn’t give Olivia a chance to respond. I needed to get this out in the open. “Rosie, it’s not bad. I promise. And I’m sorry I’m messing this up. What I’m trying, badly, to say is that…” I squeezed her hand again, drawing strength from the contact. “I love you, sweetheart. I love your mother. And I want to make this permanent. For all of us. So I asked your mom to marry me.”
Her wide eyes bounced from me to Olivia and back to me. “For real?” she squealed in delight.
I nodded, and then she launched herself toward me, abruptly bursting into tears. “Oh my God! We’re getting married? We’ll be a real family?”
Olivia bracketed our hug from Rosie’s back and said, “Well, not exactly. I turned down the marriage proposal. But I take this to mean you’re okay with it if I said yes?”
Rosie drew back, leaving my neck wet with her tears, but her legs were still clasped around my waist, holding on like she never wanted to let go.
“Mom, don’t be stupid. MacDaddy is a catch.”
I flinched at the term before she added, “You’d better say yes.”
Olivia didn’t immediately respond, and the old doubt clamored forth, but this time, I knew I had my daughter on my side, and it was only a matter of time before her mom came around.