Chapter 20
“Put this on.” Yet another command from the Issaraeth, though this one didn’t strip my autonomy away with his magic.
Dragging my attention away from the window, I found him standing at my bedside, with what appeared to be a cloak rolled in his hand.
I crossed my arms over my chest and lifted a singular brow. “Why?”
His nostrils flared. “Because we’re leaving today. And since we’ll be traveling alone on the road, I need to keep you hidden.”
“Because you’re so in love with me that the mere thought of someone else glimpsing my stunning beauty will send you into a rage?” I taunted, sarcasm dripping from every word.
His expression remained cold and cruel, but our bond betrayed him as much as it betrayed me. Fury trickled down it, chilled and sharp, despite the wall he attempted to maintain.
It was reckless, really, acting this way. But what did I have to lose? I’d likely never dance again. I was mated to a male I couldn’t have less in common with. And I was about to be plied with drugs, tied to a chair, and forced to See against my will.
So essentially, all my worst fears were coming true. All at the same time.
“Just shut the fuck up and do as you’re told,” he grumbled, dropping the fabric on the end of the bed. Then, he spun on his heel and stalked away. “We’re leaving in five minutes. If you’re not by the door then, I will throw you over my shoulder and deposit you in the cart like a sack of grain.”
He really knew how to romance me. I could almost picture our wedding, the pealing of bells, and the crowd cheering us on as we knelt before the Goddess and vowed to love one another until our last breaths.
A scoff slipped out of me at the mere notion.
Everyone else had such a glamorized view of mating bonds. If only they knew.
The chain in my chest snapped taut, nearly yanking me out of the bed itself, as the Issaraeth disappeared down the stairs.
“Fuck you,” I muttered to it, tugging the cloak toward me. I snapped it out, noting the fine fabric, and then fastened it around my shoulders. The hood was large enough that it covered the neat twist I’d secured on the crown of my head.
But before I reached for my crutches, I dug into the bind between my breasts and pulled out a few virelthorn leaves, popping them into my mouth.
Without the healer’s constant presence, and with the Issaraeth’s clear intent to keep me away from others, there was no telling when I’d have another moment to chew them.
It wasn’t like I could wear bronze cuffs anymore to suppress my magic. No, I needed all the help I could get to heal.
Calling on a few strands of white, I wrapped them around my leg and used my meager magic to lever myself upright. Teetering, I managed to make my way to the door, where the Issaraeth spoke in low tones with the healer.
“Ready to meet my fate,” I said, flashing my mate a sardonic smile before my expression fell back into a scowl.
The face of my nightmares flicked an annoyed glance in my direction.
The healer pressed his lips together. After days of witnessing our back and forth, I was certain he suspected something more was happening between us. Something that went beyond the normal captor-captive situation.
“One green potion in the morning, another in the evening. If you’re in too much pain to sleep, a purple one,” he reminded me.
I offered him a warm, gracious grin. “Thank you for all your help, healer.”
Wordlessly, the Issaraeth held the door open for me. Like a good dog, I swung myself outside, where a wagon, drawn by two horses, waited.
As I managed to work my way into the space, leaning back against bags of supplies, I took one last glance around the town.
Free people came and went, their arms laden with wares.
Children raced through the legs of the adults, giggling and ignorant of the predator that walked among them.
Chickens clucked in their cages, ready to be slaughtered for dinner.
My knee throbbed, and I cupped the back of it, gently adjusting the position and stuffing fabric beneath it so my stretched out position didn’t put further strain on it.
A low hum vibrated above me, and in a blink, the auravane dipped from the sky and landed on the lip of the cart. His eyes, a liquid metal, collided with mine, unblinking.
Ilae was breathtaking, even if his abilities made him a bit terrifying. Auravane were birds of legend, and I’d never seen one before him. Their rarity made them prized possessions. Especially if one was willing to bond for hunting.
Unconsciously, I reached out a hand to stroke his crystalline feathers.
His large head tilted, tracking the motion with predatory intelligence.
When my fingers brushed them, a sharp pain bit into the pads.
With a hiss, I retracted, noting the blood welling there.
I sucked the tip, trying to ease the sting.
“There’s only one place you can safely pet him.”
I jumped at the Issaraeth’s velvety voice. Whipping my head up, I noted that he stood, mere feet away, watching me with rapt interest. He set his haul on the opposite side of the wagon from me, then approached his bird.
And me. By the time he stopped, he was close enough that heat radiated off his skin. Close enough that he could reach out and wrap his fingers around my throat. Smooth back my hair. Brush his fingers over my shoulder.
A different sort of ache bloomed in my core.
Our connection thrummed at our proximity, as it did every time we were close like this.
I hated it. Hated him. Hated everything about this situation.
The rest of the world fell away as he stared at me. I was tempted to lower the barrier around my mind and seek out what was in his.
But then, Ilae clicked his beak and shattered the moment.
The Issaraeth cleared his throat and released me from his mesmerizing hold. “Though the fact he let you touch him at all speaks volumes.”
I let out a long breath, trying to slow my racing heart. “Is that so?”
“Aye.” He brushed a hand over the back of Ilae’s neck, just below his antlers, and the bird hummed, a deep throaty sound I wouldn’t have expected.
He even nuzzled into his master’s palm. “Auravane are particular creatures. Especially once bonded to an Angel. He won’t even let Maelsar close without pecking his fingers. ”
“How did you find him?” I couldn’t help but ask. No one really knew where they came from, or how many were still in existence.
The Issaraeth’s impassive expression didn’t change, even as the emotion open between us shifted.
“My first mission hunting down Elessarum was deep in the southern range of the Skala Mountains. I stumbled upon a nest while searching for a vantage point. A stoat was stalking the eggs, and the hen and cock were nowhere to be found. I used my magic to capture the predator and ferried him down the mountain, away from the precious chicks.”
He paused, switching where he stroked Ilae’s feathers. My brows furrowed. Why wouldn’t he have killed the stoat? That was what a monster like him would have done, unlike a member of the Elessarum.
Without taking his focus off his bird, he continued. “Moments later, Ilae and his mate returned. He attacked me, thinking I was going to steal his offspring, until Ysolthe scented the stoat and conveyed that the danger had passed.”
“Ysolthe is Ilae’s mate?” I clarified.
At her name, the bird stilled, pinning me with molten eyes. He shuffled closer and stuck out his head as if he were scrutinizing me, assessing if I too posed a threat. I froze, breath lodged in my throat.
“She is. All of their chicks from that clutch hatched, and all but one lived after the harrowing leap off the side of the mountain. Ysolthe lives in Sivy now, in the aviary. She flies messages to Ilae and me while we’re on the road.”
The massive bird hopped down, his talons scraping across the wood as he waddled closer. That silver gaze hypnotized me, sucking me into their swirling depths. I reached for him again, certain he’d bloody my hand purposefully this time.
To my utter shock, he ducked under it, placing my fingers in the downy spot on the back of his neck. Stroking there was like stroking a cloud. I’d never felt anything softer.
He clicked softly, a sound I was coming to recognize as his way of communicating contentment. Excitement thrummed in my veins as he ruffled himself and leaned against my shoulder—nearly taller than me with us side by side.
The Issaraeth’s attention seared into me, and I found myself looking away from the auravane and at him. The intensity of his gaze brought pebbles to my skin. Something more than hate drifted in those icy pools. Something that looked a lot like…yearning.
I didn’t like it one bit. Not when the bond whipped into a frenzy, begging me to pull my mate closer. An ache coiled between my ribs, like the magic that tied us together was desperately trying to drag us flush.
“So the Korona can tell the infamous Issaraeth where to find more Elessarum to slaughter?” I aimed my accusing words like a well-timed slap.
“It is my duty.” Yet the way he spit out the final word told me there was a complex web around whatever his sister tasked him with. But I ignored it. Whatever his feelings were, he was still responsible for the deaths or imprisonment of my friends and family.
“Yes, I know who you are, Issaraeth. You break the minds of those who want to live in peace. Who do not wish to see our kith perish needlessly. Why do you think I ran from you, over and over and over again? Too bad my parents didn’t make it out alive.
” Tears pricked my eyes at the thought of them.
“But I certainly will escape you with my neck still intact.”
Rage flashed across his features and rattled our chain, battling with my acute grief.
“I have a name, you know,” he hissed through clenched teeth.
“I do.” The words were flat, harsh.
“Then why don’t you use it, Sylaira?” His knuckles turned white over his grip on the rear of the wagon.
A long moment passed while I wrestled with my answer.
Weighed whether or not I wanted to give it.
“Because calling you Issaraeth keeps you a villain. Some abstract figure to loathe. To fear. It is why you prefer that, is it not? So that us Elessarum tremble at the very idea of you. Don’t even attempt to fight back when you arrive on our doorstep.
Merely cow to your wishes out of fear of our minds being broken. ”
A muscle feathered in his jaw.
“So no, I cannot call you by your given name, lest I forget who you truly are,” I spit, bitterness coating my tongue.
Ilae ducked out from under my hand and hopped back toward his master. He headbutted the Issaraeth’s shoulder, and I couldn’t quite tell whether it was out of comfort or admonishment. Somehow, the latter seemed to radiate from the bird.
My mate didn’t even acknowledge him as he continued to glare at me.
“You have no idea who I am, little fugitive. And you’ve made it plenty clear that you never wish to.
Bury your head in the sand, as your people have done for centuries, if you wish.
I thought most Elessarum were fools, but you have to be the worst of them all. ”
With the final insult, he spun on his heel and disappeared from my sight. My nails bit into my palm as Ilae spread his wings and took to the sky again.
Let him walk away. I hoped the emotions he so clearly had no idea how to handle shredded him apart from the inside.
I was no fool. I wasn’t stupid either. I knew exactly how the world worked. I knew exactly who I was—unfortunately—mated to. I knew exactly why the Elessarum believed in peace.
It was him who continued to believe in lies and fantasies.
As I stewed in my anger once again, the cart jolted forward. Stealing a glance toward the front, I found my mate’s shoulder set in a tense, firm line. His posture, per usual, was impeccable.
The sounds of Stadur faded as we rolled down the road to Sivy. The capital of the Angel Realm awaited, tucked deep into the cloud forest. But it wasn’t the gates of Thalvireth Palace I feared. No, it was being trapped behind them with my fated mate. With the cruel monarchs of the realm.
The thought of Seeing again churned bile in my gut. Flashes of past times when I’d awoken in a pool of sweat, with tears streaming down my face, returned. My palms turned cold and clammy. I dug my nails into them, inhaling deeply, and trying to banish the fear that lingered in my bones.
Perhaps I would have felt differently about my gift if I Saw something other than death and destruction.
I hated my power. But I was coming to find that I hated being helpless even more. Especially now, with this severe injury.
Defiance threaded through my core. I could always refuse to tell them what I Saw, so that I wouldn’t stain my hands for their war.
But would the Issaraeth Command me to use my power if I resisted?
Three times now, he’d used the magic on me, and he seemed to lack all remorse for stripping me of my autonomy.
He wouldn’t care if I was bare and broken. In fact, I think he’d rather enjoy being the one to do it. I tilted my head, taking in the backside of him again. Glared at it for good measure. An undeniable tension crackled between us.
Would we even survive the remainder of our journey?
I honestly couldn’t say.
In the end, only one of us could win.
If one of us had to break, it wasn’t going to be me.