Chapter 28 #2
Her tongue flicked out and wetted her lips. The movement captivated me. I found my hands inching higher, continuing to massage her thigh. The heat from her core was like a beacon. My cock hardened, pressing painfully against the ties of my pants.
“I didn’t expect you to say that.” Sylaira’s words brushed across my cheeks, our faces so, so close.
Of course she didn’t. Because to her, I was a villain, intent on breaking all those in my path. I got drunk on the suffering of those beneath me.
How little she knew.
“Does that change your opinion of me?” I rasped, wanting it to be true.
My mate’s breasts rose and fell, shallow and fast. “Maybe.”
That single word undid me like nothing else ever had. It was possibility—something I’d secretly hoped for but continually corrected in my mind.
Pupils dilating, she held my gaze. I surrendered my grip on her thigh and reached up to tuck her long hair behind her pointed ear, revealing the array of gems embedded along the upper edge.
A shiver wracked her frame as my knuckles trailed across her flesh, down the side of her jaw to the base of her neck. My large hand wrapped around half of it, fingers threading into her hair. She didn’t protest. Made no move to shake me off.
The bond roared its approval.
Maybe she was finally letting me in. Maybe she was letting go of her loathing. Maybe, just fucking maybe, she felt this undeniable pull too.
And then, my mouth was on my mate’s.
Her lips were as soft as I had imagined, like the clouds she’d originally escaped into. And her taste—rain-soaked earth and decadent peaches. Sweet. Nectarine. Divine.
One kiss, and I knew I was doomed and destroyed.
A low groan rumbled in my throat as I closed the remaining distance between us. Her arms splayed across my chest, fingers digging into my tunic. She opened for me, and I swiped my tongue against hers, the ghostflower scent filling my nostrils and driving me headfirst into oblivion.
Something shifted, but my focus was on the taste, the feel of my mate. I was lost in the storm and I didn’t want to search for my center again.
Light exploded behind my eyes. A force slammed into my torso, flinging me backward.
Blinking, I stared at Sylaira, her white magic disappearing like stars at dawn. Tears welled, wetting her long lashes. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”
Those words gutted me.
Of course it wasn’t real. Of course she didn’t want me. Of course, she couldn’t choose me.
Our bond’s protest was nothing compared to the agony of seeing her look at me like that. Like I was a monster. Like no matter what I did, she would loathe me until the end of time.
Millennia was a long time to abhor your fated mate.
“Talk to me,” I nearly begged, hating myself for how desperate I sounded. “Don’t retreat.”
Sorrow clawed down both her cheeks. “Why? Why do you want me?”
I considered her question, the one I’d asked myself countless times. I even considered lying, for the span of a heartbeat. But in this moment…she needed the truth.
The words clawed up my throat. “I should hate that you fight me at every turn. I should hate that you have shaken the foundation of who I am. I shouldn’t respect your dedication to dancing as much as I do.”
Her chest ceased moving.
“You’ve awoken something inside me I buried long ago.”
The confession even caught me off guard. I hadn’t meant to say it, but there was no retreating now.
“The Goddess made us mates. Don’t you feel this?” I asked, flattening a palm over where my magic rested in my chest. Where the rope tying us together whipped into a frenzy as if it alone could yank us back together.
“That can’t be it.” She swallowed, and more tears spilled free. “It’s not enough.”
“Not enough for you, you mean?” It was a bitter statement, and I didn’t try to mask my disappointment.
Her teeth worried her bottom lip. “Not after everything that happened.”
Anger flared inside me and I was on my feet before I realized I’d moved. “I can’t undo the past, Sylaira. Goddess knows I would, had I had the information you did.”
The barb landed. Amid the tears, hatred stormed in her expression. “You have no idea what it’s like, being forced to See like that. It is a burden I would not wish on anyone.”
“When?” I demanded through clenched teeth. “When did you know? At least give me that.”
Her lower lip trembled. She bit into it to cease the quivering. “It was my very first vision.”
The knowledge punched air from my lungs. Nearly made me double over.
“But I didn’t know it was you, the Issaraeth, until I saw you atop your horse when I ran with Heraphia and Zuriel.”
My knees went weak. The room spun. Centuries, she’d carried knowledge of her fated mate. She’d Seen me before she knew who I was. And when she did? She still ran. She’d wished to die rather than be bound to me.
Had she yearned for her mate until that moment?
I stumbled to the door, unmoored in the tempest swirling around the room. I needed to breathe. I needed to get away, to process what I had learned. What had happened.
“Issaraeth,” my mate called out as I wrapped my hands around the knob. I ignored her and twisted anyway.
“Vaeron!” she shouted as I slammed the door shut behind me.
I’d left her, broken, shaking, and helpless in that bed. Hated myself for failing once again. But I couldn’t stay. I needed space. Especially when I still tasted her on my tongue. When the memory of how her body curved perfectly with mine still lingered.
My feet pounded the stairs and out into the night. There was no dignity in my retreat, only desperation. The crisp, cool air slapped some semblance of sanity back into me. Chest heaving, I leaned against the side of the inn.
“Fuck!” I swore, raking my hands through my hair. The leather fell to the ground and into a muddy puddle. That only served to infuriate me further.
“Vaeron, please.” Sylaira appeared in my mind intentionally…for the first time. And she sounded almost sad. But I didn’t want her pity.
I wanted so many things.
But not that.
Nor her hatred.
I threw up an icy wall to rival the one that separated the two realms of Keleti, hoping she’d get the hint and stay out of my head. I wasn’t sure I could calm the rage emanating from me though.
As I looked up at the sky, peering for a glimpse of stars through the canopy overhead, I prayed to our Radiant Mother for guidance. For something, anything, that told me what the fuck I could do to fix things.
I could be a better male. Goddess knew that.
But I could never be someone else. I could never undo the past.
And that was the only thing she truly wanted from me.
One of us must break…
Or neither of us could survive.