Chapter 38
The Issaraeth hadn’t come for me in two days. Our bond scorched my ribs for every inhale without him by my side. I couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t eat. The pain of his absence was nauseating.
The only saving grace was that I knew he was suffering too. The maelstrom of his emotion raged down our bond at all hours. I let mine storm with it.
As I dragged myself out of bed, world spinning and stomach churning, all I could think about was our last conversation. Over and over, it replayed. The angry words I’d flung to wound him. The ones he’d gouged me with.
Violence wasn’t only physical, I’d learned.
The Issaraeth had shown me that. Had shattered this illusion that I was peaceful. That I was good. That my values were righteous.
I didn’t know who I was anymore.
A servant approached me at the long dining table where we took our meals. Besides Heraphia and me, two dozen other Seers had their quarters here. The male Seers, far fewer than us, lived on the opposite side of the Divine Atrium. Even in that space, we were partitioned.
But it was better that way. I wasn’t sure the Issaraeth would have tolerated me being one wall away from a male that wasn’t him, especially after how he’d threatened to harm the healer.
It wouldn’t have mattered anyway—they were as tortured as the rest of the Seers. The pungent, thick scent of the herbs they wafted under our noses erased all smells of fried pork and rosemary bread drifting from the kitchen.
In fact, this morning, everyone seemed more catatonic than normal. No one spoke other than to mutter a few words about what nourishment they needed to start their arduous day.
“Good morning, Sylaira,” the female said, all breezy smiles. “What would you like to eat? I noticed your appetite has been lacking. I could make you something easier on your stomach if you are having issues?”
I blinked at her, the otherwise solemn atmosphere casting her cheeriness in sharp relief. “I–uh,” I started, then cleared my throat, trying to center myself again. “A blended drink is fine.”
In my short time here, they’d become my only pleasure. I’d never had anything like it. Nectarine sweet, laden with lush fruit unattainable anywhere else, they were a delicacy afforded only to the Seers. Somehow, they were ice cold and soothed my frayed nerves from the inside out.
“Of course.” She produced a little slip of paper and placed it on the smooth wooden table.
Then she leaned in, her finger tracing runes scratched onto the menu.
But instead of explaining the ingredients like I’d expected, she spoke low in my ear.
“You should allow the Issaraeth to escort you to the healers this afternoon. He is…unwell.”
My head whipped to the side, meeting her sky-blue eyes. “Who are you? How do you know him?”
“I am Lyriasthe,” she murmured, returning her attention to the paper. Her hand moved enough that to anyone looking on, our conversation would appear innocent enough. “You’ll understand what I mean when you see him.”
“But how do you know him?” I pressed, undeterred.
She spoke low, glancing around us to ensure no one was listening. “Please do not reveal my identity to anyone. It would be unsafe for many.”
“Are you Elessarum?” I whispered, teeth digging into my lower lip as I stared at the paper again, pretending to have a difficult time making a decision.
“I am. I saw you in the Issaraeth’s arms when he brought you to Stadur to be healed,” she replied in a rush.
“How did you–”
“Would you like chocolate in your drink?” she said, louder this time, cutting me off.
Giving myself a little shake, I responded. “Yes, please.”
“I’ll be back in a few minutes then.” With that same false gaiety, she retreated to make me my breakfast.
But I had so many questions. I twisted in my chair, opening my mouth to urge her to stay. Her wide-eyed expression and the dip of her head had me closing it again.
“Soon,” she mouthed, disappearing into the kitchen area.
Heraphia dropped into the seat beside me a moment later, lids half open and shoulders slumped. Pearlescent lashes dusted her cheeks as she sighed and dropped her head to the table.
“Morning,” I greeted my friend, my mind still on the interaction with Lyriasthe. If she was Elessarum, how was she alive? And working in the palace? More than that, why was she pushing me toward the Issaraeth?
Someone else delivered my chocolate and strawberry drink, so I had no further opportunity to question her.
As the Sightkeepers ushered us out of our accommodation, I glimpsed her in my periphery, watching on. She remained there until I rounded the waterfall, out of sight. In the middle of the line of females, I entered the Divine Atrium.
The air was thick, heavy, and tasted wrong. I paused midstep, hand reaching to brace myself against the wall for support as I peered into the dim glow. But with all the people around, I couldn’t pinpoint the source.
A sinking feeling of water closing over my head lingered. Shaking my arms to clear it, I strode towards the uncomfortable crystal chairs.
Only to be halted by the sight of the Korona.
A regal white dress draped her frame. Atop her brow, a diadem of diamonds glittered. Each tilt of her head as she examined us sent light scattering across the room. Air lodged in my throat as her attention landed firmly on me.
“My darlings, I need your best visions today. There has been a development in our holy war, and we need to protect our sacred warriors, all fighting in Her name.” She hooked her thumbs over her heart and fluttered her hands, looking up at the ceiling like she could peel back the stone and see our Goddess.
I fought the urge to roll my eyes at the Korona’s theatrics.
Her lips moved around a silent prayer. When she lowered her gaze, she pointed a question directly at Heraphia and me. “You wouldn’t want any more deaths, would you?”
My best friend didn’t even move, despite the dark circles and how she’d been moments from collapsing as we rose from the breakfast table.
“No, Your Radiance,” the gathered Seers murmured.
A smile bloomed like a rotten flower reaching for the sun. “Good. I’ve brought you gifts to aid in your connection to our Goddess. May She bless you with visions of truth.”
From the sides of the room, servants approached, gleaming trays hoisted in front of them.
One held what appeared to be mushrooms. Another, petals so delicate I was certain touching them would crumble them to pieces.
A third held goose egg sized gemstones of all colors.
Bark, smoking herbs, fabrics, and more passed before us before the group arranged themselves in a neat, tidy line, like they’d practiced the maneuver a dozen times before.
Lyriasthe was among them, her irises shining azure even in the low light. But she kept her expression neutral, her posture unmovable, and her attention over our heads.
“Come forward and take what you know best connects you to your power,” the Korona encouraged, sweeping a bejeweled hand toward the trays. “Then, seat yourself. I’ll watch over you, along with the scribes, to ensure anything you See is recorded and analyzed.”
Fear held my ribs in a vise. I hadn’t consumed virelthorn since my last encounter with my mate. I was nearly at the limit of what decades of consuming it could hold off. And being plied with drugs and other objects?
There was no doubt in my mind I’d See today.
I couldn’t breathe.
No no no no no
I’d rather die than glimpse a future where Keleti was a wasteland, with carrion birds picking at bleached bones.
Why had I pushed him away when it could have saved me from this fate?
Others stepped forward and claimed their objects. The world quaked beneath my feet. My injured knee threatened to give out when it was my turn to select something that would connect me to our Radiant Mother.
With blurred vision, I scanned each offering. I didn’t know my power well enough to know what would enhance it. The Goddess was forcing me to walk the path she had chosen for me whether I wanted it or not, it seemed. There was no more running—from anything.
“Take what Lyriasthe has.”
I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of the Issaraeth’s voice in my mind.
“Did you know this was happening today?”
A long moment passed as my heart hammered against my chest.
“Yes.”
And then he was gone, disappearing from my mind like dimming light.
Swallowing, I rolled my shoulders back and approached the female. On her tray was a variety of tight-packed herbs meant for chewing. Most were a tar-black. Many males sucked them and spit out the contents, the leaves giving them a buzz that opened their senses.
But that would only serve to expand my power, not diminish it.
A storm surged inside me, emerging from the depths of fury I now possessed. Was my mate betraying me again? Did he somehow know it would enhance my power?
How foolish I’d been for initially believing his suggestion had been one of protection.
Something cold pressed into my hand. Lyriasthe held my gaze. “Go ahead and take one, Seer.”
The tray hadn’t so much as wobbled as she’d shifted her hold. My fingers closed around what felt like a glass vial. With my other hand, I quickly lifted one of the wads. “Thank you,” I told her, then stepped back. Spinning, I chanced a glance at what she’d surreptitiously given me.
Virelthorn.
Only a few leaves, but it would be enough. I hurried toward my seat, taking note of everyone else’s positions and preoccupations. When I was certain I wouldn’t be seen, I dumped the contents into my palm and then tossed them into my mouth. I’d never chewed the herb so fast in my life.
A second later, the wad joined them. My nose wrinkled as the bitter earthiness coated my tongue. But I needed to at least pretend I was trying to See.
Heraphia took her place at my side, meeting my eyes for a fleeting moment. The depth of her pain slammed into me in that single second.
“You’ll make it through today,” I told her fiercely.