Chapter 6
Courtney - POV ?
I backed away for the doorway and headed outside to the truck.
I knew that they had a lot of questions, but I couldn’t answer any of them. It was all too fresh, too raw and I felt exposed and vulnerable.
All of it was made worse when I pulled away from Helen, who was just trying to comfort me. I could see the look of pity … sympathy on their faces.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want comfort.
Lord knows I would love for someone to take control of things, just for a while so I could breathe, but I couldn’t. That wasn’t a luxury I had, nor did I trust anyone to do that, to hold me and not want something in return, to be a safe place in the storm.
If Helen had touched me, had wrapped me up in her motherly arms, told me everything would be okay – I would have broken down.
I would have collapsed right there on the floor and let all the emotions that clogged my throat come pouring out.
I couldn’t do that, I couldn’t afford to break down, not when Ava needed me.
So, I moved away from the comfort that was offered and disappeared out the front door.
Ava’s nightmares were few and far between now, but when they did happen, it was jarring and exhausting.
She had cried herself to sleep and after an episode like that she would want to have something familiar, so I headed to the truck and got her stuffie that her mom had knitted for her when she was a baby.
“Is there anything I can help you with?”
I stilled, half in half out of the truck. The deep, rumbling voice slid down my spine like warm honey. I turned to see the massive man from the bakery standing several feet away.
He really did look like a bear.
Dark, messy hair curled around the collar of his t-shirt, an out-of-control beard that was in serious need of a cut, but it was his beautiful green eyes that held me captive.
He was flexing his hands; his whole body was practically vibrating with tension as he stood there waiting for a reply.
“Umm, no, I got it,” I mumbled, turning back to rummage through one of Ava’s bags. “I’m sorry that your night was interrupted.”
“Don’t ever apologize for something that is not in your control,” he growled out, surprising me.
I shut the truck door; a pink knitted bunny buried under my arm and my bag of sketch books in my hand.
I had put them in the truck after we came back, knowing that I would want them with me tomorrow when we went back, but now, I could use them as a distraction since I knew I wouldn’t be going to sleep any time soon.
“I’m not apologizing for Ava. That is not something either of us can control,” I said, tucking my hair behind my ear. “But I am sorry that it caused everyone to worry. We … we are working on it.”
His massively broad shoulders threatened to tear his t-shirt, his thick thighs stretching his dark blue jeans to the max and his booted shoes sounded like thunder as he came closer.
He looked uncertain, rubbing a hand around the back of his neck. “It’s my fault, isn’t it?”
“Your fault?”
“I said something mean to her and she cried. I’m so sorry. I was such an asshole and now she …”
I couldn’t help but laugh. This huge bear of a man was actually upset with the thought that he could possibly be the one who upset Ava.
How cute.
He had thrust his hands into his hair, pulling and tugging at the long strands as he paced back and forth in front of me.
For some reason, it was unbearable to see him so agitated over a misunderstanding that I stepped into his space, forcing him to stop pacing and look down at me.
“You are not the reason for what happened tonight.”
I placed my hand on his thick arm and gave it a little squeeze when he opened his mouth to protest.
“I promise you; it wasn’t that. Yes, she cried but it was because she didn’t see anything wrong with calling you a bear and was not happy that she had to apologize for it.”
“It really wasn’t that big of a deal, she didn’t – ”
“No. She needs to learn that not everyone will appreciate being called names,” I smiled at him, “what will happen if she tells someone they look like a hippo? Hmm. She needs to learn boundaries. Besides,” I patted his arm and moved around him, “she is only four,
so she is bound to have herself a crying fit when she doesn’t get her way.”
I didn’t have to turn around to know that he was following me. The sound of his boots crunching on the gravel told me he was getting closer. “Yes, but the screaming.”
I stopped on the top step, while he was on the ground, putting us eye to eye.
“It was my fault. She didn’t have a long nap because we were so busy exploring and everything just piled on top of her. She was tired, cranky, sleeping in a new place and had too much excitement for one day. I promise, she will be better in the morning.”
I turned to go inside when a huge hand wrapped around mine, a broad chest sent warmth spreading across my back, “and what about you?” he asked, slowly brushing his thumb back and forth along the back of my hand gently. “Are you alright?”
Startled by the intimate hold and even more, by the sincere question, I’m struck silent.
Am I alright? No. No, I am not, but what could I do? I have been taking care of things all on my own for the last several months – no friends, no family to help. It’s just been me and Ava.
Unwanted tears welled up and I had to fight to keep them down. Clearing my throat I put on a smile. “Of course, I am. Life happens, right? You just have to roll with it.”
I tried to take the few steps forward that would get me through the door, when his hold on my hand tightened and he pulled me back around so now that we were faced to face, except this time, I had to tip my head back and gaze up.
“You don’t have to be alone. There are people here…” he brought his other hand up to cup my face, gently wiping the tears that I didn’t even know had fallen. “I’m here,” he whispered.
“I don’t know you.”
“True, but that doesn’t make this feeling any less significant.”
“Feeling?”
“The feeling that you and Ava are going to become very important to me.” His thumb that had been tracing my cheekbone, deliberately moved to trace the fullness of my lips, “I take care of what’s mine.”
My body flooded with heat at his words. I didn’t even know this man, but somehow, for the first time in a long time, I felt safe. I felt that he would take on the storm just to give me a few minutes of rest. I felt that I could believe him, trust him to keep his word.
That was a dangerous thing.
I tried to lighten the mood before I got in over my head. “Me and the little troll, huh?”
He laughed. Threw his head back and let a deep, rumbling chuckle escape.
He really was a bear.
“You have to admit that she does look like a troll. Her crazy hair was going every which way, and she had chocolate streaked across her face.”
I smiled and pulled my hand free of his just to tug on his beard. “Like your one to talk about crazy hair.”
I didn’t realize how close I had moved into his space, but when his hand circled around and held onto my lower back, his other hand had shifted from my face to run his fingers through my long hair, the heat from his body soaking into mine, I had to get away.
I had to step back and think.
I was just talking about Ava setting boundaries and here I am practically climbing the man!
I could feel my face heating up, “I should get back to Ava.”
I stumbled to the door, hand tightly gripping the handle when it was engulfed by a large, calloused one, “come sit with everyone.”
My eyes widened, horrified, I asked, “what?” He couldn’t possibly want me to tell them what happened with Ava. Explain to everyone why she was screaming and crying.
His gaze took in every feature, every emotion that passed over my face. “Just to talk about your new house. My mother, Helen, said that you bought old man Kruger’s place.”
“Oh,” I breathed out relieved. “I can do that.”
Using my hand, he turned the handle and pushed the door open, bringing our bodies close together once again. But this time, I found myself leaning back against the warmth that was there, soaking it up as if I had been frozen for too long.
It felt nice.
“Oh, my sweet girl,” Helen said as she came fluttering around the corner, her hands grasped onto one another, “are you hungry? Maybe you’d like something to drink. I can get it if you’d –”
“Thank you, Helen,” I said, reaching out to touch her hand, “I would love a glass of water, please.”
Her eyes misted over, patting my hand, before she left the room to get some drinks.
“Let me introduce my family,” he said, as his hand pushed gently at my lower back and steered me into the dining room where three equally large men stood and a younger woman who looked just like Helen with her delicate features sat in a beautiful wingback chair near the fireplace.
“This is my father Patrick, and my brother Sean,” he gestured to the two that were standing close together. “They are both in construction. And Devin there has his own landscaping business. And …”
“I’m Megan,” she said as she stood from her chair, “and I run the books for the guys to make sure they actually have a business to run.” She smiled brightly as she stretched out her hand, “if it’s not mom, then I’m the one to keep them in line.”
“You mean nagging,” Sean grumbled.
“Harping, complaining, tyrannical,” muttered Devin, inching away from her.
“I was going to say bossy,” her father, Patrick smiled.
“It’s called 'consistent management and motivational words of encouragement'.” She grumped, crossing her arms, daring them to say otherwise.
The giant next to me, leaned down to whisper, “one time, she threatened to skin me alive if I didn’t get finished with my work. She was brandishing a knife as if she were a butcher and everything.”
The giggle escaped before I could stop it. It was easy to imagine this tiny woman putting all the men in their place. Growing up as the only girl, I would bet she had to be strong enough to stand her ground, otherwise they would run her over.
“Alright, that’s enough everyone.” Helen came back into the room with her trolley loaded with those delicious small sandwiches, plates of cookies and two pitchers: one with water, the other lemonade. “I know it’s getting late, but I wouldn’t be able to stand it if you were hungry.”
“Thank you so much, Helen,” I said, moving away from the overgrown furnace to sit on the sofa in front of the floor to ceiling windows.
“So, you are the brave lady that bought Kruger’s place.” Patrick moved to the other large wingback chair and sat down before he pulled Helen into his lap.
“Or foolish,” I smiled at him. “I loved the photo’s the realtor sent and went ahead and bought it, but I nearly had a heart attack when I saw the condition of the property,” I said, putting my glass of water on a coaster on the table.
“But Ava and I did a walk-through and the place is gorgeous. The number of windows is insane, and I don’t think I have ever seen a fireplace as big as the one in the living room. There is an amazing sunroom that I’d like to put a daybed in,
and the upstairs bedrooms will be perfect for Ava to grow into.”
“It sounds like you have a plan then,” Megan said.
“Well, I don’t know about a plan, but a starting point … I think.”
I settled back against the sofa, mindful of the bear sitting so close.
“I have been sketching some things out, you know, how I’d like each room to look like, but I’m not very good at it,” I shrugged, “but it helps keep me focused. Otherwise, I would change my mind a dozen times, and nothing would get done.”
“Can I see your sketches?”
I looked to my right to see the amazing green eyes locked on me.
“Uh, yeah, I guess,” I muttered as I reached down towards my bag to get the books. “I’m going back tomorrow to get pictures and measurements. I hoped to …”
“You drew this?”