Chapter 13
Thane - POV
It’s mid-May and has been nearly a month since my world was blown wide open by a squealing, happy little troll and a beautiful, fun-loving woman and I couldn’t be happier.?
I had spent every day and night with them, learning all I could about them, what they liked, what made them happy, what they wanted in the future. Because I would be the one to provide anything and everything they could possibly want or need.
Which is why I’m sitting here on the floor, helping Courtney cut out pictures and make some sort of weird assembly line of magnets.
We had to put the work on her house on hold because Once Again was preparing for its first summer festival and it was all hands-on deck.
Especially my family, as my father and Sean were busy building market stands, updating signs and fixing up some rental cabins.
Devin and his crew were non-stop with roadside maintenance, last minute request for planting flowers, pruning hedges or tree limbs.
My mother and sister were running around crazy with all the guests that were coming and going from the Inn.
We decided that with the festival, Courtney and Ava would come and stay with me because the blue suite had been previously booked and I wasn’t going to waste any time with her moving into another rental.
So here she was, sitting on my living room floor in those tight leggings and in one of my t-shirts, showing Ava how to press the button on the magnet making machine.
I was deliriously happy. In just a few short weeks, it’s like I have been given a glimpse of what the rest of my life would look like, and it was perfect.
Except, I felt stuck, and I couldn’t figure out why.
My relationship with the girls was moving along and going great.
Courtney had gotten her online business back up and was in full swing.
Ava was making friends everywhere she went, which was wonderful because she would be starting summer school three days out of the week with Ms. Andi and she would have plenty of kids to play with.
I was happy, so damn happy, but a part of me felt empty, that feeling of having lost something was coming back and it terrified me.
“Bear?”
I jerked, lost in thought, when Courtney put her hand on my leg.
“Yeah, honey?”
“Are you okay?”
I rubbed the back of my neck, “yeah, all good. Is something wrong?” I looked at her, the sunlight shining through the window, highlighting the red strands in her dark brown hair.
She squinted her eyes at me, “alright, break time!” She called out, helping Ava to stand, “why don’t you go pick two … no three stuffie friends who can come and have a snack with us, okay.”
Ava didn’t wait, just tore out of the room like her little butt was on fire.
Chuckling at Ava’s enthusiasm, I stood and held out a hand for Courtney to take, but she was already standing with her hands on her hips, glaring at me.
“What?”
“I understand that all of this is new and honestly, happening extremely fast,” she started pacing the room.
Oh, God, she wanted to leave. My throat closed and I swear that I was about to hyperventilate. I couldn’t lose her or Ava.
“Thane.”
I had already lost everything once before …
“Thane.”
Two decades worth of my life, but if the girls left …
“Thane!”
I snapped my eyes to her deep chocolate ones. “Thane, what is wrong?” God, she looked so scared. I’m supposed to be protecting her; to be the strong one instead I’ve scared her.
“Nothing’s wrong, honey, I swear –”
“Thane Rowan Barrows, don’t you dare lie to me.”
Well, she certainly has accomplished the motherly tone.
“Like I was saying before, everything is happening so fast, so I don’t think I have told you before, but I can’t stand lying. I don’t like it when anyone tries to hide something from me, so don’t do it.”
“What?” I sounded like an idiot.
“I asked if ‘you were okay.’ You responded with a ‘yeah, all good.’ That’s a lie.” She paced away from me to look out the window. “You have never lied to me before, so why now? Do you regret all this? With me and Ava.”
I thought I was going to have a stroke. “Jesus, Courtney, no!” I shouted, making my way to her and a part of me died when she stepped back. “I swear to you, I don’t regret anything; not you, not Ava and sure as hell, not us.”
She let out a deep breath and took a small step towards me.
“I’m not good with guessing or reading between the lines. I need you to talk to me, to tell me what is going on so I can help you.”
She slowly ran her hands up and down my arms, “if you want me to help, I will. If you want me to step back, I –“
“Honey,” I groaned, pulling her into my arms. Finally, I could breath. “I’m sorry. I’m used to taking care of things and I don’t know what to do right now, but I’m working on it.”
She rubbed her face in my chest; her arms tightened around my waist. “I’m used to taking care of things too, but that didn’t stop you, did it?” She peeked up at me, “it won’t stop me either. I want to be a team.”
“Hmm, you scratch my back, and I scratch yours?”
She snorted, rising up on her toes, “I can think of a lot better things for you to do with your hands, Bear.”
“No lovies,” Ava huffed from the doorway, her arms struggled to hold the three stuffed animals. “It’s time for snackies.”
Courtney buried her face in my chest; her whole body shook with laughter. “Right, right, it’s time to feed the hungry troll,” I tossed Courtney over my shoulder and stomped my way to the kitchen, causing Ava to shriek with glee.
We all sat around the kitchen table, Ava happily munching away, when Courtney looked at me, “will you please tell me what’s going on?”
I rubbed my hand over my head, and sighed, “I can take care of you. You don’t have to worry about anything.”
“I’m not worried Bear, and I know you can take care of me.” She reached across the table and held onto my hand, “that was never in question.”
“I feel like I’m missing something, but I don’t know what.”
“Hmm,” she said, rubbing small circles on the back of my hand. “Your mom said that you moved back from the big city almost two years ago, so what have you been doing?
“Nothing. I haven’t been doing anything except helping out with the family whenever they need it.”
“So, you went from working non-stop for two decades to doing nothing?” She helped Ava get off the chair as I moved to clean the table. “When was the last time you drew something?”
“Ahh,” putting the dishes in the kitchen sink, I turned around to lean against the counter, “not since before I got here.”
“So, there you have it,” she said, coming up to lean against my chest. “You are creatively constipated.”
I laughed, dragging my hands down up and down her body. “Well, I’m at a complete loss. I have no clients to design for so ... ”
“Okay, I’m your client.”
“Damn, never had such a beautiful client before,” I whispered against her head, “don’t know if I can keep my hands to myself.”
She kissed me, long and slow, “mmm, I have a few ideas that you can work on, so you get to pick.”
“Lucky me.”
“So, first option, design a playground for the town. Something big, fun, maybe you could include a water pad. Second option, re-vamp your family’s cabins to be eco-friendly. You know, like hobbit-style living.”
I stared out the window, ideas immediately started churning, “is there a third option?”
“You could design Ava’s treehouse or playhouse.”
It was like lightning struck. I remembered the big oak tree that Ava liked, how the branches were massive and low hanging, perfect for holding a treehouse.
“You take all the time you need and think about it. Ava and I are going to go help Mako with the flower shop, then we will meet you at the Inn for dinner, alright.”
“Alright, honey, I’ll see you soon,” I gathered her up in my arms and kissed her again. I swear, it was my new favorite hobby.
“I’m all in, Thane. For the good and the bad, I want to be there for you, with you.” She smiled at me in the soft, beautiful way of hers, “I can handle it, so don’t hold back.”
She smirked at me, her eyes dancing with amusement. She had taken to teasing me, pushing a little with her words and touches and as much as I loved it, because I really did, it was also becoming harder and harder not to push back.
A part of me wondered if she wanted me to push back, wanted to see how far I would go, but then I was afraid that if I did, it would be too fast, too much for her and she’d step back from everything.
So, I let her have her fun, enjoyed her soft touches and playful words until I was certain she was ready to move on.
Within an hour, she had Ava loaded up into her truck and they were backing out of the driveway, headed to the flower shop. Mako had some art flowery displays, and she wanted Courtney’s input, so that left me in the quiet house with thoughts and images of Ava’s treehouse.
I walked into my office, a place that I hadn’t stepped foot inside of in almost two years. In front of the massive windows that overlooked the backyard was a large wooden drawing table my father had made for me when I was younger.
Stepping up I removed the cover from the table, and everything was in the same place I had left it. Pencils, charcoal sticks, rulers, sheets of paper.
Listening to the sound of the paper sliding onto the table, hearing the clanking of pencils, the slap of the ruler; I felt a thrill as I began creating and designing a treehouse that Ava would love.
I lost track of time.
I always did when I was locked into designing something, but the exhilaration was new. I had never felt a constant excitement when I was drawing. Initially, of course, it was there, but then it would soon fade because it became all about deadlines and client approvals.
But this… This was exciting from start to finish. One draft after another, one drawing after another, that thrill was still there and growing.
I drew different views; top, bottom, left-side, right-side, different styles, different play options, different positions for where we could build the treehouse.
It all just flowed from one image to another that I didn’t notice the light fading from outside, or the vibration of missed calls from my phone, nor did I notice the creaking of my office door as soft footsteps came up behind me.
“Hard at work, I see.” I jumped when I felt Courtney’s arms wrap around my waist. “I was told to inform you that you will be hosting dinner this Sunday.”
Dammit! I forgot about dinner with my family.
“I’m sorry, honey I just…”
She slid her body around mine until she was standing in front of me.
“Don’t you dare apologize for doing something you love, Thane,” she said, rubbing her hands up and down my chest.
“Everyone was worried about you but when your mother started blowing up your phone, I told them that you were probably drawing and to leave you alone.”
She raised herself up on her tippy-toes and pressed a kiss to my throat.
“I’m happy to see you working,” she twisted around and picked up the drawing I was just working on, snuggling her back to my front. “This is beautiful, Bear.”
She looked over the scattered pieces of paper that I had strewn all over my desk, gathering each one to carefully look over, making comments and praises for all my hard work.