Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
Emory
Julien was kissing him in a way that had his heart pounding harder than it had during the incredible sex they’d just had. This kiss wasn’t about hunger, but tenderness and intimacy. Just a press of lips that spoke so much louder than words.
And Emory didn’t know what to take from it.
Because he’d just been slammed with the realization that Julien could possibly be his soulmate. The absolute, raw desire he’d felt with the man’s mouth on him had trumped everything, taken him completely out of his head. He’d been dizzy with the power of it.
It wasn’t something he wanted. Had ever wanted. He liked his freedom and his autonomy.
And these fucking…warm…kisses were affecting him even more.
Julien had a surprising tender side. He liked this big man hovering over him, and he liked the way his lips felt—the way he smelled of sweat and sex.
The urge to pull Julien’s heavy body down all the way on top of him was so strong he curled his hands into fists on the floor.
Julien kept pulling back just to press more gentle kisses to his lips.
It was causing him to catch feelings—and those, he did not want.
Yet, he wasn’t moving away, not even when Julien traced his upper lip with the tip of his tongue. A return of that early, dizzying lust started to build inside him. He opened his mouth and slid his tongue around Julien’s, making the man give another one of those sexy, rumbling moans.
He’d known. He’d absolutely known that breaking down that uptight exterior would be amazing.
But he didn’t know which of them was affected more, because he was just as broken down himself.
Julien pulled back to look down at him, a brief flare of something like wonder passing through those blue eyes. He moved aside, stretching out next to Emory, but he kept his hand on Emory’s stomach, lazily tracing his finger through the trail of hair around his navel.
Emory stared at the ceiling but turned his head when he heard Julien’s soft chuckle. “What?” he asked.
“You look just as shell-shocked as I feel.”
“These are your first times with a man, so it makes sense that you feel surprised.”
“It’s not that.”
“Not what?”
“I don’t think it’s because you’re a man. I think it’s because it’s you. I’m attracted to you. In a way I’ve never experienced, so yes, it’s messing with my head a little.”
“Discovering you’re bisexual is a big deal, so of course it is.”
Julien slid one hand under his cheek. “I keep trying to think back to any times I might have been attracted to a man, and I’m coming up blank. I notice when someone is attractive, but I never had the urge to act on that attraction. With you, it feels like I don’t have a choice.”
Emory frowned. “There is always a choice.”
“Yes, I know. But I constantly want to be touching you. Be close to you. I feel more intimacy in what we’ve done than I’ve felt before, and we haven’t even been completely naked with each other.”
Emory didn’t know what to say to that, so he stayed silent, because the truth was, he was feeling the exact same way. And it was scaring the shit out of him.
“I don’t even know anything about you other than you protect people for a living.”
“You haven’t really been one to ask many questions or even talk to me.”
Julien’s lips twisted. “I know. I’m sorry about that. I have this need to keep everything in my life perfectly organized, and this penumbra has messed that up. It pisses me off. But that’s no excuse for how rude I’ve been toward you.”
“You haven’t exactly been rude.”
“I’ve ignored you. Truth is, I wasn’t ignoring you mentally. I was all too aware of you at all times. Still am. I’ve always been able to turn off outside disruptions and focus on my work, but a part of me stays on you. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m highly attracted to you.”
“Yeah, I think I’ve figured that out,” Emory said with a heavy dose of sarcasm.
Julien snorted. “I can’t keep my hands off you.” As he said that, he slid his hand from under his cheek and put it back onto Emory’s stomach. It was warm on his bare skin. “What do you do besides security?”
“I tend to go out a lot when not on the job because most of my jobs take up a lot of my time. Sometimes, I’m on twenty-four hours a day, like this job, and sometimes Xavier switches us out in shifts. I’m surprised he didn’t do that with you.”
“I’m glad he didn’t. What do you do when you go out?”
He shifted a little under that warm hand. “I enjoy fucking, so I mostly do that.”
Julien’s lips quirked. “Well, you’re good at it. Must be the many years of practice.”
“We haven’t truly fucked,” he said softly.
“I consider all forms of sex fucking, but is that something you’d want to do with me?”
Just the thought of them taking it to that level ramped up his desire again. “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea,” he finally said after several moments of silence.
He expected Julien to ask why but he stayed quiet, just staring at Emory, one finger still making lazy swirls in his belly hair.
“What’s it like living for hundreds of years? The mothman who works for me is over two hundred, and he told me that preternaturals live long lives. You said five hundred years earlier. Until you and Xavier, he was the only person who knew what I see.”
“Yes, I’ve been alive over five hundred years, and I’ve seen a lot of changes in those years.
I was born in what was once the Kingdom of England.
I’ve fought in wars, and I’ve moved all over, discovering different countries and ways of life.
But I’m happy settled here, now. I have two close friends who also work at Protective Solutions, and they’re my family.
” He paused. “What about you? Any friends or family other than the parents you told me about?”
Julien shook his head. “No, it was just me and the chaotic parents.”
Emory couldn’t help but frown. “Growing up with all that must have been hell for someone like you.”
“They honestly drove me crazy, so I’m glad they prefer to travel and not live close now. As it is, when they do visit, something bad inevitably happens.” He frowned and looked away from Emory. “They once left me for three days. Just forgot me.”
Emory’s gut tightened. “What do you mean forgot you?”
“We’d stopped at a Love’s station. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the RV was gone. When they eventually remembered they had a son and returned, they just laughed it off.”
“How old were you?”
“Eight. It’s a wonder I managed to hide from the station employees as long as I did.
I hid in the bathroom at night.” His voice lowered.
“I was so scared, sure they were never coming back. I never felt safe with them again after that, so it wasn’t just their flightiness that messed me up.
And it’s why I’ve worked so hard to reach this point of security.
I will never go hungry or feel that sense of homelessness again. ”
Emory pictured Julien as a boy, terrified and alone in a fucking gas station for days, and a burning fury filled him.
Julien slid his hand up higher under Emory’s T-shirt. “I can feel you tensing up. That happened a long time ago.”
“You were just a small child. I’m surprised you have anything to do with your parents now.”
“They are still my family and like I told you, they come bearing gifts and apologies. They have cleaned themselves up now, though they will always be chaotic. So I’m glad the visits are short.
” He stroked his fingers over Emory’s chest. “What they did may have left some deep-rooted issues, but it did make me the success I am today.”
It had also made someone afraid to live any sort of life outside of work. Emory’s heart ached for him.
“I can’t stop touching you,” Julien murmured as he slid his hand back down to Emory’s belly.
“You have wonderful skin.” He let out a low chuckle.
“I’ve been really curious about how your wings feel.
I wanted to touch them when you backed me into the wall with them out when the penumbra was here. They look so soft.”
Emory sat up, partly to dislodge Julien’s wandering hand and also to pull off his shirt and release his wings.
Julien gasped as they slowly emerged from his body. “Does that hurt?”
“No, but they do grow uncomfortable when not free for long periods of time. I much prefer them out. I don’t fuck with them out, though.” What he didn’t say is that he hadn’t since they were clipped. That he’d never allowed himself to be fully him when with someone else.
Julien sat up and slowly reached out to stroke his hand down one wing. “I knew they would be soft. Can you fly?”
Emory shook his head. “I could in the past, but something happened. I can go high into the air and hover, but long distances aren’t possible anymore.”
Julien’s frown came fast. “Something happened…like an accident?”
“No, this was no accident.” He wasn’t sure what made him decide to share such a private story.
Maybe it was the intimacy of them on the floor in the middle of the night.
“Remember when I said there are some angels who are speciesists? I had a human mother, and that made me impure in their eyes. There was one group that hated me more than the rest and, well, it didn’t help that I slept with one of their partners.
I didn’t know he was in a relationship, but to be honest I hadn’t cared because it was just a one-time thing.
But it gave one angel the excuse he wanted.
He and a bunch of other angels held me down and clipped my wings. ”
Julien’s hand paused where it had still been stroking one wing. “I am so sorry.”
The urge to tell him how it still gave him nightmares burned on his tongue, but he held the words back.
“At the time, I was devastated as they wanted. They didn’t believe anyone born of two species should be able to fly.
I still have some use of my wings; I just now have to take planes to travel long distances. Or warp.”
“Warp? What does that mean? You can do that?”
He shook his head. “I can’t, no, but Xavier employs some wizards with the ability to take us through space to different locations. It’s fucking handy.”
“There’s so much I don’t know,” Julien murmured as he dropped his hand back into his lap. “Do you have other powers?”
“I can move things with my mind.” As he said it, he deliberately moved the candlestick he’d moved that first day.
He couldn’t help but grin at Julien, who looked plenty impressed.
“I can also understand all languages even if I’ve never heard them spoken before.
Mostly, I’m just very strong and can fight from the air, which gives me a distinct advantage in a lot of fights. ”
“Did you ever retaliate? Against the angels who did that to you?”
“No. At the time, I wasn’t in a good place. Losing the ability to fly nearly destroyed me. But as I said, I learned to deal with it. You could consider that another of my charms—the ability to accept reality.”
“Far as I’m concerned, you have many charms.” Julien’s gaze was roaming his bare chest. He reached out and ran the back of his fingers down the center between Emory’s pecs. “You’re really quite beautiful.”
Emory caught his breath because there was so much…
reverence in Julien’s voice. Again, he was struck by the certainty that this man was supposed to mean more to him.
Supposed to mean everything. He started to pull away, but Julien did first, getting to his feet.
He stared down at Emory for a long time before he shocked Emory by leaning down for another of those soft, tender kisses.
“I’ve got to get some sleep,” he whispered against Emory’s lips. “Thank you for tonight.”
“For what?
“For sharing your past with me. For showing me that there’s more to life than my work.” He kissed him again, and Emory couldn’t help but kiss back.
Then, he couldn’t stop his grin when Julien casually moved the candlestick back to its place before going up to bed.