Chapter 10 #2
“What do you mean she doesn’t know you exist?” Dread seeps into her voice. Fuck, this isn’t good.
“I keep her safe from afar. I look out for her and protect her. She just… doesn’t know about it,” I explain, defending my actions. They have to understand that I do this for her. I stay away for her.
“Bash, that’s insane. How long has this been going on?” She asks the thing I want to admit to the least. Even I know how deplorable this sounds.
“Six years.”
The room stills, frozen in time. A heavy blanket of silence descends.
Owning my actions, I meet their questioning gazes.
Katerina’s horror overwhelms her as she covers her mouth with both hands.
Dom stares pensively at the monitor, scrutinizing my angel, tempting me to turn it off.
He doesn’t get to watch her. Not like I do.
To my relief, Nikolai excuses himself from the room. Gay or not, I don’t want any men staring at her nor hearing our story. With her, I’m covetous, every piece belonging to me alone.
“Explain,” my brother demands.
“I… Well… You see…” I take a deep breath, then recount everything to them. Once I start, I can’t stop. From the lizard catch that sunlit day six years ago to disguising and teaching her to drive in the snow and even our runs together, I relay it all.
The only things I keep to myself are my more nefarious deeds.
The ones I believe could potentially be misconstrued as morally wrong.
Like mirroring her phone and breaking into her house regularly, which they can probably guess from the cameras, and tormenting her suitors. They don’t need to know everything.
When I finish, my sister-in-law still looks distressed, but my brother looks mildly impressed.
“You’ve done all this for some girl?” Dom questions in disbelief.
“She’s not just some girl,” I growl, stepping forward. “She’s Lizzy. My Lizzy.”
His face breaks out into a wide grin as he crosses the room to meet me. “Welcome to the club, brother.” He extends his arms and pulls me in for a half hug back slap.
“DOMINIC!” Katerina’s scolding tone causes my brother to pull back. He attempts a disapproving demeanor like his wife has but fails miserably. “This is bad. Very bad!”
“Come on, tiger. We just found out he’s in love. Let’s not lecture him,” Dom teases.
“‘Not lecture him!’” she shrieks. “He’s been STALKING this poor woman for SIX YEARS! We should be DETAINING him!”
Katerina starts pacing, muttering to herself, so Dom crosses the room and wraps his arms around her.
“Calm down. Let’s not jump to conclusions. This is Bash we’re talking about. He tried to kill Matthias for kidnapping Margot. I’m sure he has a perfectly good explanation.” Dom turns his face towards me, sending me a seething look, almost daring me to defy him.
“Yes, I do!” I cut in. “I’ve been protecting her from far because I love her, but won’t risk her. This life we live isn’t safe. I won’t despoil her with the filth of our underworld. Nor will I ever risk her by involving her with this life.”
Katerina stops pacing and trades a look with her husband. She appears to be mollified. I’d suspect my words worked if it weren’t for the concerned look in her eyes. She appears almost maternal as she approaches me, which is uncharacteristic considering she’s years younger than me and not a mother.
“Bash,” she starts in a soft voice while putting an arm around my shoulder.
“You’re right. This underworld we operate in is harsh and cruel.
It can even be dangerous. But we can’t let that stop us from being with the one we love.
Even though there are risks, I wouldn’t trade my life with Dominic for safety. ”
“You can protect yourself! Lizzy can’t,” I argue obstinately.
“You don’t know that about her. But even if I couldn’t protect myself, I wouldn’t need to worry. My husband will always keep me safe. Just look at Margot and Cecilia. They don’t protect themselves; their husbands do. And they couldn’t be happier.”
“Margot was kidnapped! A week before I first saw Lizzy,” I snap.
“And they saved her! If you asked Margot if she would trade her life with Matthias and Nico in exchange for never having been kidnapped, which wasn’t because of the Syndicate by the way, do you think she would want that?”
“Well…” I can’t lie. We both know she wouldn’t.
“You know damn well she would choose them.” Katerina takes a deep breath, then smiles softly. “Don’t you want that, Bash? Don’t you want Lizzy to be your wife and at your side every day?”
“More than anything,” I relent. “But–”
“Would you ever let anything happen to Lizzy?” She squeezes my arm as she asks the question.
“Never. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep her safe,” I vow.
“Then go get her. The only thing stopping you is your fear. Don’t be a victim to it.” She steps away from me and into her husband’s arms. “Choose a future with the girl you love.”
Dom embraces his wife and kisses her forehead. “Don’t let what might be stop you from having her. There’s nothing that could stop me from taking care of my wife. You’d be the same way. I mean, look around, you already are.” He gestures at my office.
My brother’s words fill me with something I never dreamt of having.
Hope.
Maybe they’re right. Maybe I could actually be with Lizzy. Have real conversations with her. Run side by side. Taste her baked goods.
I close my eyes and picture a future with my angel.