Chapter 8
Chapter
Eight
AMELIE
Kai reached for me slowly, as if coaxing an unpredictable feral animal out of its cage. He turned me around with a firm grip on my elbow.
Tears streamed down my cheeks before he could do more, and I stifled the sob bubbling up my throat. I screwed my eyes shut, pressing my back against the cool glass.
God, I wanted to disappear. I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. I felt cheap, standing naked in front of a fully clothed man who had paid for my body.
Most of all, I felt betrayed. Not by Kai, because even though he had taken the brunt of my anger, he didn’t owe me anything. He never promised to protect me from other men.
No. Kai didn’t break his promise, but Stefan did.
Bottled-up bitterness bubbled to the surface in the form of fat tears.
It dawned on me that my anger toward Kai came from feeling abandoned by the man I loved.
Stefan was off gallivanting in Africa, living out his dream job.
Raising three children with me in a small town was hell for him.
He was gone the moment he received an all-expenses-paid trip, and I was the one paying the price.
Stefan left me as collateral, a body to be ravaged by Kai.
“Amelie, look at me.”
Kai’s voice was gentle, not amused or mocking like before. He must’ve sensed my shame.
Small mercies.
My entire body was rigid at the thought of what came next. His frame crushed mine, not to cause pain, but to snap me out of my despair. Still, I couldn’t look at him. I just couldn’t. His hand gripped my cheek, forcing my face toward his.
My eyes popped open when I felt his hot breath fanning my lips. He was going to kiss me!
I knew the exact moment he realized it. The moment he saw my raw terror. The plea written on my face.
Please don’t make me do this.
Kai stepped back and braced his palms against the glass on either side of my head, creating a cage around me without touching me.
“Stop,” he whispered, sounding slightly alarmed.
My eyes fluttered. “Stop what?”
“Stop staring at me like this is killing you.”
It is. I didn’t say it out loud, but he knew.
We stared at one another, a hair’s breadth apart. His eyes traced my face, my hair, then my naked body in the dusk.
I’d vowed to detach myself from what was happening tonight, but I couldn’t go through with it. I wouldn’t be able to recognize myself if I did. I’d be filthy, a whore to be passed between two men. More tears rolled down my cheeks.
“Don’t cry,” he whispered, leaning his temple against mine.
But I couldn’t stop.
Kai was deliberately absent when his lawyers outlined the details of our prenup and suggested Stefan sit out of the meeting as well.
This way, the lawyers would deliver the bad news only to me.
The prenup stipulated that if I broke our agreement, we’d owe Kai everything he had invested in this arrangement thus far, including this trip, summer camp for the kids, and their boarding school tuitions.
If I didn’t sleep with him tonight, I’d plunge my family into a deeper financial hole.
Although we had no means of paying him back, I couldn’t bring myself to go through with it. I felt utterly broken at the thought of another man touching me.
“I can’t,” I sobbed, desperate. “Please, don’t make me do this.”
A warm body engulfed me, pressing me further into the glass window. I realized it was meant to be a hug. While a part of me inwardly laughed over Kai’s lame attempt at comfort, the other screamed in despair. I had never let another man coddle me, and this was just the beginning.
My shoulders shook as he wrapped his arms around me. I was faintly aware that I was still naked. Despondency had stolen my sense of reason. I felt alone and clung to him desperately for comfort, burying my face in his warm, bare chest.
“I can’t go through with this. I’m sorry.” Each gasp stole my breath, my head pressed against his chest.
I braced myself. Kai’s lawyers had been very clear about what would happen if I didn’t hold up my end of the bargain.
To my absolute shock, Kai held me until my tears dried. “Don’t cry, Princess,” he murmured.
Why does he keep calling me princess?
He stroked my hair, kissing my temple even as I gasped for air. He cupped my cheek and lifted my face. He brushed his lips against my cheek, once, twice, three times.
I couldn’t make sense of his actions and stared at him. The gesture was innocent enough, and he wasn’t forcing me to engage. Nothing about his actions were threatening, so I stayed complacent in his arms.
“Is this okay?” he asked, dragging his lips across my cheeks until he had erased all remnants of moisture.
After the invasive questions from his lawyers, I thought Kai would subject me to extreme sexual degradation. I was stark naked, yet he was only pecking my cheek and calling me by names of endearment.
Dumbfounded, I nodded.
“We can ease into this.” He pressed a soft kiss to my lips, keeping me locked in his arms. “I just want to hold you for now. And kiss you.”
Kissing another man wasn’t so abhorrent, was it? It didn’t matter. I couldn’t refuse Kai’s advances now that he had given me an acceptable alternative. “And that won’t be a breach of contract?” I whispered skeptically.
His lip curved. “Not as long as you let me do this.” He tilted his head and pressed his lips to mine. I kept my eyes open, feeling his warmth, then his tongue, slow, gentle, possessive. A cramp twisted my stomach. I closed my eyes, caught between terror, anguish, and despair.
He kissed me softly, no rush, no pressure. His arms wrapped around me, and then his mouth moved to my neck. “Do you hate me for making you go through with this?” His voice was strange, sad almost.
I opened my eyes, taken aback. “Hate?” I whispered.
My breakdown had an odd effect on him, but I was grateful for his concession. I couldn’t put my feelings for him into words, but it wasn’t hate. I hated his actions, his manipulations, but there was no hatred inside me.
“Don’t hate me, Amelie.” He sounded desperate, his cheek pressed against mine. “You’ve got this hold on me that I can’t explain.” His lips brushed against my skin, sending shivers down my spine.
He kissed me again, and a wave of dizziness hit me. The gentle kisses muddied my mind, and I clung to him, my fingers grasping his shirt to keep myself steady. My stomach twisted and turned. The feeling rose to my chest, into my head.
His mouth was on mine again, biting, touching, his tongue tracing the edges of my lips. His hand on the back of my neck pulled me closer, his tongue exploring my mouth. His intensity scared me, but there was something else too. Something raw. Maddening.
Each breath I took was filled with the heady scent of his cologne.
He smelled expensive, like bergamot with whispers of ambergris and vanilla.
My best guess was Roja Haute Luxe. The cologne was a staple among the elite when I lived in Lebanon.
A small bottle cost three thousand five hundred dollars and was as much a status symbol as it was an intoxicating scent.
“Your scent,” I mumbled.
“What about it?”
I couldn’t describe the euphoric feeling. Did he plan it? But how could he have known?
Instead of answering, I breathed him in, feeling lightheaded as I reminisced about my childhood in Beirut. It had been years since I felt a connection to my homeland.
His lips curved against my skin before he licked my lips. “Your scent is driving me crazy, too,” he told me, even though I made no such reciprocal declaration.
Perhaps it was because I was lost in my thoughts of Lebanon that it didn’t register when his hands explored my body, my breasts, my hips. His mouth was on my neck, and I shivered, my head falling back. What was I doing? There was something wrong with me, something very wrong.
I only broke out of my haze when his hand moved between my legs, pushing against my bare skin.
My eyes flew open, and I put my hand up. “Kai, you promised—”
“I just want to touch you,” he said, his voice hoarse. He loomed over me, his shadow blanketing my body. “I can’t get you out of my head.”
He pressed against me, forcing me to feel his hardness. The vulnerability flickering behind his eyes was so unlike him that I wondered whether I was imagining it.
“Let me touch you.” His voice was strained, and something about the plea made me want to cave. After all, what was touching when he had the right to ask for so much more?
Kai didn’t wait for my acquiescence. His fingertips traced my skin with unexpected tenderness, contradicting the alarm bells ringing in my head.
They traced my skin as if they were memorizing braille.
My pulse hammered against my throat as his touch scorched me with invisible marks.
I couldn’t breathe properly, couldn’t think clearly.
An unwelcome warmth unfurled low in my abdomen.
I closed my eyes, as if that would erase the reality of his hands exploring my body.
“Fuck,” he murmured, kissing behind my ear. “You’ve no idea how long I have waited for you.”
Why did he have to talk? I wanted to grab denial by the horns right now, but his words shattered the illusion.
The blood in my veins heated as his middle finger slipped inside me.
“No!” The word burst from me before I could think better of it. I stumbled back but didn’t get far with the glass window blocking my escape and the digit inside me, keeping me in place. “Wait. Wait. Wait. This is happening too fast.”
I tried to pull him out of me, but Kai was stronger. He flicked away the hold I had around his wrist and slipped another finger inside me. Even as shame washed over me, my back arched when he applied pressure to my G-spot.
It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. I never expected to react this way, flip-flopping between desire and abhorrence.
“It’s okay,” he cooed when I closed my eyes. “Look at me, baby.”
The term of endearment caught me off guard, and my eyes snapped open. Kai wasn’t an emotional man. Thus far, he had treated everything, even intimacy, like a business transaction.