Chapter 25 #3
“I don’t know what I was thinking. I couldn’t get out of this trip, but I didn’t want to hurt you, either.”
“Yet you’ve hurt me more than I ever thought possible.” Her voice didn’t waver.
Before I could reply, Ruby came up behind me. “Stefan. Is everything all right?” Her expression became carefully guarded when she noticed Amelie standing next to me.
Ruby had come looking for me, but it hardly mattered. What mattered was the way Amelie looked at Ruby. Not with anger or jealousy, it was quiet and more devastating.
Recognition.
As though everything she had suspected had been given a face.
“I’ll let you guys talk,” Ruby said to me, reading the room. Her eyes moved briefly to Amelie. “I’ll see you later.” She patted my shoulder.
It was a friendly, sympathetic gesture. However, Amelie’s eyes lingered on my shoulder, where Ruby’s hand had been, as if she had staked a claim.
Ruby left. Her footsteps faded down the corridor.
Amelie turned back to me. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t need to because she had made up her mind. I really wished she wouldn’t be so suspicious of Ruby. There was nothing going on between us, but I had no idea how to convince her of it.
“Amelie,” I said quietly. “It’s not what it looks like—”
“Don’t.” The elevator doors opened, and she stepped inside. I followed even though she was trying to get away from me. I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t leave things between us this way.
Amelie pressed the lobby button and stared straight ahead as the doors closed.
“Please let me explain,” I pleaded.
She shook her head. “Kai brought me here because he knew I missed Lebanon. Stupidly, I kept wondering what it’d be like if you were here with me. I even thought about flying to Istanbul. But I should’ve known by now.” She nodded at my upper lip. “You’re having the time of your life without me.”
I caught my reflection on the elevator doors and quickly wiped away the white remnants. My mind started reeling.
Kai brought her here.
Did Kai and Ruby orchestrate this together? What would be the point? There was nothing to gain from starting this fight.
“I didn’t plan for this to happen.” I watched her profile. The set of her jaw. The way she held herself so carefully. “You have to believe me.”
“Believe you?” She pressed her lips together as if it were taking her monumental effort to speak. “You came here. To my country. With her. Then lied about it. Why would I ever believe anything you say?”
“Nothing happened between Ruby and me. I swear.”
Her eyes landed on mine. There were no emotions on her face, which was worse than her ire. It scared me in a different way.
“Ruby’s just a friend,” I tried again.
“A friend you’ve had a thing for since before we met. Your room was covered in her posters.”
“That was years ago. Besides, everyone has a celebrity crush. You can’t punish me for meeting mine in real life. She’s just a colleague now.”
“A colleague you flew to Lebanon with, even though you knew that would hurt me so damn much.”
“It’s not like I came here with just Ruby. The entire crew’s here.”
“I must’ve missed them when her hands were all over you.”
“Amelie. This wasn’t my call. I had no say over Ruby’s itinerary.”
“Of course you have a say. You’re the president of the magazine.”
“But it’s Ruby’s project. She added Beirut to the itinerary at the last minute. What was I supposed to do, not go because my wife is from here? Do you know how ridiculous that would have sounded?”
Amelie looked at me for a long moment. “You could have called me and asked me to join you. Or you could have told me the truth. I would’ve been upset, sure, but I would’ve understood. But you didn’t. You faced a difficult decision and picked the solution that was easiest for you.”
“That’s not fair, Am.”
“You want to talk fair? I’m strictly monogamous, you know that. Yet, I chose a lifestyle I was uncomfortable with for you. Because I always choose you even when it’s inconvenient. Can you say the same for yourself?”
I had nothing to say to that, because she was entirely right. The silence that followed was the loudest thing I had heard in years. The elevator felt small and unbearable.
“I’ve been a blind fool in love,” she said quietly. “And you took advantage of that. You’ve hurt me more than anyone in my life.”
The elevator doors opening was the only sound to interrupt the deafening silence. She walked out fast down the corridor toward the exit. I kept pace beside her.
The open door, the city outside, the street noise. All of it spoke clearly enough except for me. My breath was ragged, voice shaking. “Please, Amelie. Don’t leave like this. You’re here now. Why can’t we still see Beirut like you’ve always wanted?”
“I don’t want to see Beirut with you. In fact, I have nothing left to say to you at all.” There was a black car waiting for her at the curb. She must’ve called it when she used her phone.
I grabbed her hand. “Am, please. You know this wasn’t my choice. If I had one, I would have come here with you.”
“From where I am standing, you have always had a choice. You just didn’t choose me.”