Chapter 11
Anne
I could not, after all, let my copy of Anne of Green Gables out of my hands.
My father gave it to me. What if Hailey didn’t return it?
It would be like Mom throwing away his slippers, like losing another piece of my dad.
But I found the first Anne book at the island bookstore, and Hailey borrowed the second from the library.
“You love them!” I crowed when I caught her reading during a break. “I knew you would!”
“Let’s not go crazy.” She shoved the book into her apron pocket.
“But…” I nudged.
An almost smile. “They’re all right.”
Her admission hugged my heart. The best part of teaching—better than snow days or the funny things kids said—was that click, that buzz, when my students responded to a new book or idea.
“We could start a book club,” I suggested.
“No.”
“Buddy read?”
“Maybe.” She checked her phone. Frowned and put it away.
I never saw her texting with her friends, I realized. Or skipping out of work early to hang out at the stables or on the waterfront with other teens. Books were the best companions. But at Hailey’s age, she needed more.
“Reading’s more fun with a friend,” I said.
“How would you know?”
Fair enough. My social life these days was reduced to selling fudge to tourists and living with my mom.
Mei-Ling and Daniel had moved to Colorado and only communicated through snaps of grazing elks and selfies standing triumphantly on rocky summits with their arms around each other.
Sarah hadn’t emailed. I’d texted her to ask how the end of the school year had gone and got only a brief thumbs-up in reply.
A sudden yearning for my dad…for Chris…squeezed my chest so hard I couldn’t breathe.
Did Chris miss me? Did anybody?
“Well, when I was your age…” I began.
“Dinosaurs roamed the earth.”
“Worse. There was no TikTok.” Hailey snorted. Encouraged, I continued. “Daanis Bartok and I read all the Anne books together. We were going to get matching tattoos as soon as we turned eighteen. ‘True friends are always together in spirit.’ ” I smiled, remembering.
“So, why didn’t you?”
She chickened out. “Oh.” I waved vaguely. “I went away to college.”
Hailey nodded. “Like in the book. Anne leaving Diana behind.”
My mind snapped back. “She didn’t leave her behind. Diana got engaged to Fred.”
“What? When?”
“Fudge. You didn’t know?”
“I didn’t get that far yet. What about Anne and Gilbert?”
Hooked, I thought with a bite of satisfaction. “Nuh-uh. No more spoilers. Although…” I paused dramatically. “I can tell you things get verrry interesting in the next book. But you’ll have to read it yourself.”
“The library doesn’t have it.”
“I can request it for you. Or…” I looked at her round, pleading face. Oh, the agony of waiting for a sequel! “I bet I can find my copy.”
—
Daanis and Zack lived one block over from her parents’ house in a single-story cottage with a toddler playset in the yard and a welcome sign in rustic letters by the door.
She opened to my knock, wiping her hands on a dish towel. Two-year-old Rose peeked from behind her knee. The smell of hamburger and onions wafted onto the porch.
I smiled, holding out a teal box like a peace offering or an apology. “I brought fudge.”
“Chocolate cherry?” she asked hopefully.
I nodded, happy to have gotten something right today. “With walnuts.”
Rose reached up. “Candy!”
“Not before dinner,” Daanis said.
Oops. It was a reminder—as if I needed one—of how different our lives had become. The years when we would stay up talking all night about my dreams, about our plans, were over. “I can come back another time.”
“Don’t be silly. I’m glad you’re here. Come in.” She gave me a hug and backed out of the doorway like a carriage driver reversing a team of horses on the street. “Watch out for Legos.”
I followed her through the toy-strewn living room to the kitchen and sat at the kitchen table while she dealt with something on the stove. “Can I do anything?”
“Keep me company, that’s all. Thanks for the c-a-n-d-y.”
“Perk of the job. Since I work for my mother.”
“Mm. How’s that going?”
My leg jiggled. “Job-wise, it’s okay.”
She glanced over her shoulder. “And otherwise?”
I watched her cook, Rose still attached to her leg. “Remember in Anne of Green Gables, when Matthew dies, and Marilla tells Anne she’s been her joy and comfort?”
“That scene always made you cry.”
“Yeah. Well, the other night I was trying to comfort Mom, talking about Dad, and she told me to be quiet so she could watch Family Feud.”
“She loves you, Anne. You know she does. But you can’t expect people to behave the way they do in books.”
“I don’t.”
“You do.”
“It’s not wrong to believe in happy endings.”
“Of course not. But—” Daanis broke off, stirring vigorously.
“But what?”
“Well, life isn’t like a romance novel, is it? There is no ending. You just have to keep on going and hope for the best.”
It sounded like something my mother would say. Practical and…true?
I stooped under the table and grabbed a handful of toys, lining them up in front of me—a cow, a car, a dinosaur, a pony.
Rose scrambled onto the chair beside me to watch.
“Speaking of books…Do you still have my copy of Anne of the Island? I promised it to Hailey, and then I remembered I loaned it to you.”
Fifteen years ago. Before Daanis’s marriage. Before her move.
Rose added a puppy to the animals straggling across the table.
“Hailey Miller?” Daanis asked. “Isn’t she a little old for the Anne books?”
“You are never too old for Anne,” I said firmly. “She’s so passionate and imaginative and hopeful. She cares about things. Anyway, Hailey’s reading Anne of Avonlea now.”
“Joe told me his sister was working at the shop this summer.”
“Erm. Yes.”
I’d run out of plastic animals for the parade. Rose ran into the living room for more.
Daanis turned and looked at me. “So I guess you’ve seen him since you moved home. Joe.”
I hated blushing, even in front of Daanis, who knew me better than anyone. Maybe especially in front of Daanis. My cheeks were flaming now.
“He stops in for coffee.” Every morning, when he walked Hailey to work. It was kind of sweet, although when I’d said so to Hailey, she’d muttered something about jailors escorting prisoners to the execution chamber.
“I’d climb that man like a tree if I weren’t married,” Daanis said.
“And pregnant.”
“My doctor says sex is good for the baby.” Daanis’s lips curved in a slow, satisfied smile. “Also, I have all these hormones.”
I covered my ears with my hands. “I don’t want to talk about it. Since I am currently sad and alone.”
“You don’t want to talk about me and sex? Or Joe and sex?”
“Can we change the subject?”
“Are you still mad at him about prom night?”
“So about that book…” I said desperately.
Daanis laughed. “Fine. It’s possible it’s around somewhere. There are boxes in Rose’s closet I haven’t opened since we moved.”
My head recognized that not everyone treasured books the way I did. But my heart felt as if she’d misplaced something precious, a piece of our personal history, a part of our friendship, that I was desperate to hold on to.
“Great,” I said brightly. “Do you mind if I look for it?”
She waved a spoon, dripping tomato sauce. “Be my guest.”
“Thanks.” I dropped to my knees to wipe the spot clean before she was forced to bend over.
“Why are you sad and alone?” Daanis asked.
Me and my big mouth. I gave the floor a final swipe and dropped the paper towel into the trash.
“Anne?”
“Chris and I are sort of…taking a break.” My voice cracked.
Once, I’d thought we would be together forever—Lizzy and Darcy, Westley and Buttercup, Gilbert and Anne.
He was the hero of the hospital who bought two-ply toilet paper for his bathroom because I liked it, who ordered groceries for me when I was sick.
Who held me when my father died. On my twenty-first birthday, we’d gone walking on the lakefront at midnight, our future stretching before us, calm and bright as the lake under the moonlight.
Suspended in the glow between the streetlights and the stars, everything had seemed possible.
Daanis’s soft eyes flooded with sympathy. “Oh, sweetie, what happened?”
“He’s moving. To Atlanta.”
“He dumped you? What an asshole.”
Her loyalty enveloped me like a quick, warm hug. But her anger wasn’t fair to Chris. “He didn’t dump me. He got a fellowship to Emory. He wants me to go with him.”
“And you said no.”
I fidgeted with the animals, marching one by one to nowhere.
The urge to unburden myself to her was strong.
But what if this was just a blip in Chris’s and my relationship?
I didn’t want my best friend to hate my boyfriend because I said too much.
On the other hand, if I moved with Chris to Atlanta, Daanis would never see him again anyway.
Or me. Except maybe at Christmas. My heart clenched.
“The thing is…Chris didn’t ask me what I wanted. He made his decision without even talking to me.”
I could feel Daanis’s gaze on the top of my head. “You do know you can teach anywhere,” she said.
“That’s what Chris said.” The echo stung.
“Well, he’s right.”
I blew out my breath. “You’re right.” He was right. So why did it feel so wrong? “It’s not about my job. Not really. I mean, obviously, if I moved to Atlanta, I’d have to look for another job. But I might have to do that anyway.”
“Oh no. Why?”
Rose ran back in with a load of toys. She dumped them on the table. I marshaled them in line, grateful to keep my hands occupied.
“There was trouble with a parent. A complaint. Sarah—my boss—says I can probably have my job back in the fall, but they boxed up my bookshelves. My library. I don’t know if I want to stay if I’m going to be censored in the classroom. If the administration doesn’t have my back.”
“Of course you don’t.”
I blinked at her.
Daanis smiled. “Why would you stay someplace where they don’t appreciate you?”