Chapter 20 #2
My mother had never given any sign of caring—or even noticing—if I had friends. But Daanis and I had grown up together. Mom could hardly ignore her. Or fail to recognize that our relationship had changed since I’d come back.
“She’s busy. She’s having a baby in six weeks.”
Also, the last time I saw her, I’d accused her of giving up her dreams. I was pretty sure I was forgiven. Daanis never could hold a grudge. But the memory of her face, the echo of her words, still made me cringe. “I think you’re still hurt because I didn’t do what you wanted.”
“Why don’t you invite someone?” I asked Hailey.
Hailey’s face lit up and then shut down. “I don’t think so.”
My teacher instincts tingled to life.
“Talk to her,” Joe had said.
Classes were small on Mackinac, and students generally got along. But any falling-out could be disastrous, like a rift in a family.
“Why not?” I asked. “It could be fun.”
“You’ll certainly have enough food,” my mother said.
“It’ll be too crowded,” Hailey said.
“Could you talk to Mrs. P.?” I asked Zoe. “If we did it at the library…On the porch! It would be gorgeous. Or I can call her.”
“Don’t be silly,” Zoe said warmly. “I’ll ask her at dinner.”
The bells over the front door jangled and Joe walked in, wearing a pair of beat-up jeans and a long-sleeved Henley with the sleeves pushed up his tanned, muscular forearms. My heart, which had been behaving quite normally until that point, jerked in my chest.
“Hi,” I breathed.
The creases beside his eyes deepened. “Hey.”
My insides melted like warm fudge. “I missed you this morning.”
Not only this morning. I’d seen him every day when he walked Hailey to work, but we’d barely exchanged two words all week.
“I had to meet Miguel on a job,” he said.
I poured his coffee.
“Black, one sugar,” my mother said. As if I didn’t know. “How are you, Joe?”
“Good.” He blew on his coffee. “Thanks,” he said. To which one of us, I wasn’t sure.
I swallowed. I wanted to say something to capture his attention. To keep him here. But there were tourists in the shop, and my mother was watching, and for once my mind was blank.
“See you around,” Joe said.
“Yeah. Absolutely. Here every morning. Same time, same place!” I chirped.
His lips quirked. He nodded to Zoe and my mother, tugged lightly on his sister’s braid, and was gone.
“Can I have a taste of the chocolate pecan?” asked the next person in line.
I snapped to attention. “Good choice,” I assured him. “The earthiness of the nuts really balances out the sweetness of the chocolate. And you’ll love the coconut in this one. Like German chocolate cake!”
“What was all that about?” Zoe asked after she’d rung up the purchase.
I flushed. “I’m selling fudge.”
“You’re selling something. What’s going on with you and Joe? I got a contact high standing next to you.” She fanned herself with her hand. “Like sitting in the infield at a Phish concert.”
Hailey’s eyes widened as she glanced between us. “Oh my God. Are you and Joe, like, together now?”
“I…We’re not…I didn’t…He drove me to Chicago.”
“That’s it?”
“Yes. No.” My face flamed. “I stayed with him at his friend’s apartment.”
Zoe patted my arm. “Don’t be embarrassed. When we let ourselves be in touch with our bodies, we can get in touch with our feelings.”
“There was no touching,” I yelped. “No feelings. Nothing happened. Besides, I’m not ready to…I broke up with my boyfriend a week ago!”
My mother muttered something that sounded like “Good riddance.”
“Which means you’re ripe for a rebound!” Zoe said.
“I don’t think this is an appropriate conversation to have in front of Hailey,” I said in my best teacher voice.
“Don’t mind me,” Hailey said cheerfully. “I always wanted a sister. Not Brittany, obviously, since she broke my brother’s heart. But I like you.”
I managed, heroically, not to pump her for more info about Joe’s ex-wife. The state of his heart was really none of my business. I couldn’t nourish false hope in either of us. “I think you’re great,” I told her. “And your brother is very nice. But—”
She clutched her heart. “Argh! The kiss of death!”
“But I’ve barely seen him since we got back,” I continued doggedly. “It was just the one trip.” One time. One kiss.
Zoe regarded me over her bright red readers. “What happens in Chicago stays in Chicago?”
“Something like that.”
Hailey frowned, disappointed. “So, it’s like a situationship.”
“A friendship,” I said. “We’re friends. Friends is good.” I was proud to be Joe’s friend.
They all exchanged looks.
Time to change the subject. “So…” I turned to Hailey. “Who are you inviting to tea?”
She jerked a shoulder. “I don’t know.”
“I bet there’s someone in your class who—”
“Ugh. Stop.”
“When you two are done playing Queen of England,” my mother intervened, “I need these pots washed.”
“I don’t need you to make playdates for me,” Hailey said afterward as we stood at the wash sink.
“Okay.”
Her chin stuck out. “And I don’t need you to feel sorry for me, either.”
“I wouldn’t dare.”
“Ha.” But she was smiling a little, a sweet curve of the mouth that reminded me poignantly of Joe. She slid me a sidelong look. “Still friends?”
“Bosom buddies,” I assured her, and laughed when she groaned. And then, because I didn’t know when to quit, I added, “You know, people can disagree and still be friends. Just because you have a fight doesn’t mean your friendship is over.”
“You know I see what you’re doing, right?”
“I’m just saying, friendships can be a work in progress.”
“Like you and my brother?” she asked slyly.
“Hey, no playdates, no matchmaking.”
We worked side by side. Hailey hummed under her breath.
“I guess I could ask Liv,” she said after a while. “But she’ll probably say no.”
“Liv?”
“Olivia Lipinsky. We used to walk to school and hang out all the time. But she got sick of waiting for me, and then I didn’t show up for a sleepover, and she got really mad when I ignored her birthday.
She said if our friendship was really important, I wouldn’t blow her off all the time.
But I didn’t. Not on purpose. It’s my ADHD. ”
I swished the sponge around. I’d learned about ADHD in school, techniques for behavioral classroom management. Lots of positive reinforcement, I remembered. Extra help staying organized. Breaks to move around. But Hailey seemed like a pretty typical teenager to me.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked gently.
She jerked a shoulder. “I’m seeing a therapist already. She said lots of girls never get diagnosed. Because ADHD in us looks different than it does in boys. But I saw these videos on TikTok, and I knew. Being late, not paying attention, forgetting shit, crying all the time…That’s me all over.”
Me, too. But I didn’t want to minimize what she was saying.
“That’s got to be a challenge,” I said.
“You would know.” Hailey smirked. “Seeing as we’re kindred spirits.”
I smiled back uncertainly, my mind pinging like a video game screen, bright colors and animated explosions bursting in every direction. ADHD?
“Honestly, it’s a relief knowing I’m not crazy or lazy or stupid,” Hailey continued, spraying the inside of a kettle. “But I still feel really bad about Liv.”
Not crazy or lazy or stupid…
I could relate to that. And if she was having problems with a friend, well…Daanis’s hurt face flashed across my memory. I could relate to that, too.
I pulled my thoughts back to Hailey. “Have you, um, reached out to her? Liv? Since her birthday? I bet she’d forgive you if you explain.”
“Maybe I should tell her I’m on meds now and we can sell them. Kidding!” Hailey added hastily as she saw my face.
“Or,” I said, finding my teacher voice, “you could invite her to the tea party.”
“Fine. But only if you invite your buddy, Daanis.”
“That’s extortion,” I said.
“No. Yeah, maybe.” Hailey’s eyes, brown and hopeful, met mine. “Is it working?”
“Yes.” I bumped her shoulder with mine. “But only because we’re true friends.”