Chapter 25 #2
“I’m happy,” Joe protested. Happy enough. He had a good job, a good life, a good…dog.
“I want you to find love again.”
And that was the thing. His mother nagged because she cared. He put his arm around her, remembering the days when he measured his height against her shoulder. He kissed the top of her head. “We gonna have the safe-sex talk now?”
She huffed with amusement or frustration. “I’m not talking about sex. I’m talking about finding someone. Dating. A future.”
Joe wasn’t against getting married again someday.
Get a wife, buy a house, maybe have some kids somewhere down the line.
Not because he’d never pictured any different.
Not because that’s what his mother expected.
Not even to prove he was nothing like his father.
But this time—next time—he was determined to get it right.
He imagined trying to explain that to his mom, but he didn’t have the words. His thoughts were all tangled up in feelings.
“I’m sort of seeing somebody,” he heard himself say.
“I wondered.” Nicole set her knife down on the cutting board. “Is it serious?”
He hesitated. He didn’t know what to say. Anne was his. Something private he didn’t have to share. Something separate he didn’t have to fix.
“Hello?”
And then it was too late, because there she was, at the back door. Honey woofed and went to her, tail wagging.
“Hello to you, too,” Anne said, bending. “Who’s a good girl?”
“Anne.” His mother smiled in welcome. “What brings you here?”
Anne left off patting the dog, her gaze flying to Joe. No one—certainly not his mother—could miss the blush washing over her face. “I, um…”
“Hailey’s at Liv’s,” Joe said.
She narrowed her eyes at him, and he wanted to kick himself. “I actually came to see you,” she said coolly. “Daanis is going into the hospital next week to have her baby, and Zack promised to get shelves up in the nursery closet. I was hoping you could give him a hand.”
“Yeah, no, for sure.” The dog chose that moment to stick her muzzle in Anne’s crotch. “Honey, lie down,” he ordered.
“Why don’t you join us for dinner,” his mother suggested.
“Oh, I…I’m sure you weren’t expecting company,” Anne said. “I should go.”
“It’s spaghetti,” Nicole said. “I’ll just add a little more pasta to the pot.”
“Stay,” Joe said.
Her gaze met his. Her smile loosened something inside him. “Lie down. Stay. Any other commands?”
A smile tugged his mouth. “Please.”
“You can fill that pot with water,” Nicole said.
“Sure.” Anne moved to obey. “But I should warn you, I can’t cook.”
“Of course you can. You can read, you can follow a recipe. Here.” Nicole thrust a fistful of flatware at Joe. “Make yourself useful.”
He set the table, listening to the lilt of women’s voices behind him.
He couldn’t really make out what they were saying, but he heard his mother laugh.
Honey, having figured out she was not being fed, collapsed with a sigh under the table.
The scent of garlic and simmering red sauce filled the air as Hailey burst through the back door, chattering with Liv.
It was nice, Joe thought, Anne being here. Not for sex—though he spared a moment’s regret, thinking of her between the clean sheets of his bed—but simply here, putting together a salad with his mom, teasing with his sister.
This was what home was supposed to feel like. Messy. Noisy. Full.
He poured drinks, pop for the girls, wine for his mother and Anne.
Got a beer for himself. He handed Anne a glass, resting his hand lightly on her hip, unable to resist touching her, enjoying her closeness and the smell of her hair.
When he let her go, his mother was watching.
She raised her brows slightly and smiled.
Busted.
Eventually they settled around the table, two or three conversations going at once, his sister slipping food to Honey under the table. Nicole was telling Anne about some wedding she’d catered. Hailey and Liv were talking about that series they were bingeing at Liv’s house.
“Gilbert is such a snack,” Liv said. “Yum yum.”
“I can’t believe Anne doesn’t forgive him,” Hailey said.
“But she does,” Anne said from across the table.
“After he gives up his teaching job for her. And then she wants to be ‘friends.’ ” Hailey hooked air quotes around the word.
“Sometimes it’s hard to acknowledge your feelings have changed,” Anne said. She didn’t look at Joe. “Your cake sounds amazing, Mrs. Miller.”
“It was. Until the chocolate ganache melted in the heat and the whole tier started to slide. That’s the problem with outdoor weddings. One of the problems,” she added, with a significant look at Joe.
He and Britt had married in the garden of the Grand Hotel with most of the island and two hundred of her parents’ closest friends in attendance. Not the church wedding his mom had dreamed of.
He cleared his throat. “More wine?”
Anne’s smile flashed. “Thanks.”
Hailey was going on about that TikTok challenge. “…do location shoots,” she said through a mouthful of pasta. “Only instead of Prince Edward Island, everything would be on Mackinac. Like the Haunted Wood.”
“The Lake of Shining Waters?” Anne suggested.
“Too easy. Unless…” Hailey’s eyes brightened. “We could use the Drowning Pool!”
“No more drowning,” Joe said. “I don’t want to see you anywhere near water.”
“Right. Because it’s not like we live on an island or anything.”
“Joe’s right,” Nicole intervened. “You’re not grounded, but I don’t want you taking any more foolish chances. And wear your life jacket.”
Hailey scowled.
“What’s the Drowning Pool?” Liv asked.
“The pond down by Mission Point,” Anne said.
“People have seen dark apparitions lurking in the water. Supposedly seven witches were tried there back in the 1700s and drowned. Of course, it probably never happened, but it’s a great story.
” She made a little embarrassed face. “Sorry for the lecture. Occupational hazard.”
“That’s right, you’re a teacher, aren’t you? In Chicago?” Nicole asked.
The meatball stuck in Joe’s throat. Hell. He’d known all along she was leaving. But…“Nothing to keep her here,” Maddie said in his head.
“For now.” Anne fidgeted with her napkin.
His mother cocked her head. “Thinking about a career change?”
“Oh. No. I love teaching.”
“Except for dealing with the administration,” Joe said.
Her gaze flew to his face.
That’s right, he thought. I remember every word you said to me. He reached for his beer.
“I had a run-in with my principal,” she explained to Nicole. “Before I left. But every job has drawbacks, right? Anyway, teaching’s not just a job. It’s a calling.”
His mother looked from Anne to Joe. “When do you go back?”
“So, that’s the thing,” Anne said. “I got an email last week from Sarah Thompson—my department head? She wants me to come in before classes start. But I’m not sure…I’m hoping to put off going back until Daanis has her baby.”
“When is she due?”
“She’s, um, going into the hospital next week.”
Next week. The date loomed, real and immediate.
Cold filled him. Okay, so Anne was going. She didn’t need him. He didn’t need her. Besides, he wasn’t in any position to ask her to stay.
Anne left off fussing with her napkin and looked directly at Joe. “But I’ll be home for Christmas.”
“If you guys get married, I want to be in the wedding,” Hailey announced.
“There is no wedding,” Joe said.
“I’m just saying, I’m ready for nieces and nephews.”
“Who wants dessert?” Nicole asked.
“I’ll help you,” Anne said, jumping up.
—
“That was fun,” Anne said when the cake was gone and the dishes were done. The girls were off to Liv’s. Nicole was watching TV in the living room.
They walked through the yard in the long twilight, the quarter moon hanging over the horizon.
“Fun,” Joe repeated. Was she kidding? His mom was practically planning their wedding. His sister had offered to babysit their unborn children. And Anne was leaving in a week.
“Mm.” She stood back as he unlocked the door to his workshop. “Mom likes to eat in front of the TV. I mean, I get it. It’s company when she’s alone. But your family is so…”
“Nosy? Noisy?”
“I was going to say ‘close.’ ” She bit her lip. “I didn’t talk too much, did I?”
“No.” He felt bad for putting that look on her face, even for a moment. His family liked her. That was no reason to act like a jerk. He pulled a board from a rack. “I’ve got some good live edge oak here. For the shelves. Unless Daanis is mostly looking for storage.”
“Oh, that’s gorgeous. But I think they’re going in the nursery closet. So…”
“Sure. I’ll stop by, take some measurements, ask her what she wants.”
“You don’t mind?”
“Nope.” Hell, he’d install wire racks from a box store on the mainland if that would make her happy.
Her smile lit her face. “Thanks, Joe.”
She wandered without invitation deeper into the shop, looking and touching. The last time she was here at night, he’d lifted her up onto that table. He tucked his hands under his arms.
She ran her hand along a black walnut bar top. “This is new.”
“Yeah.” His tongue was in knots. “It’s a commission for one of Kelsey’s clients in Chicago.”
Her hand stroked the grain, raising bumps along his skin. “You’re so good at this.”
He shrugged, uncomfortable with her praise. “It’s a job.” Not a calling. Not anything that would take him away from the island. If Rob hadn’t died, maybe…
“It’s a gift,” Anne insisted. “To take something rough and unfinished and transform it into something beautiful and lasting…I couldn’t do it.”
He frowned. “Sure, you could. You’re a writer, right? That’s kind of what you do. Take an idea and turn it into a story.”
“Real writers, maybe.” Her smile twisted. “I don’t seem to be able to finish anything.”
The sadness in her voice, the unaccustomed slump of her shoulders, ripped at him.
He dredged his mind for words to say. “You just need to find the right material. The right project.”
She looked at him, her eyes all shiny, and whatever stupid feelings were roiling in him didn’t matter.
He pressed his lips to hers, silencing them both, keeping up the light pressure until he felt her respond, until her lips parted and her hands crept up to link behind his neck.
He meant to keep it easy. Comforting. Only she was kissing him back, touching her tongue to his, and she tasted like cake, and she felt soft and warm against him, and the work table suddenly seemed like a possibility after all.
“I think you should go for it,” she told him between kisses.
His blood surged, hot and low. “You sure?”
She drew back and nodded. “It’s your art. Your passion. It deserves your best effort.”
Passion, yeah, but…His hands froze. She was talking about the fucking furniture. He raised his head. “Not gonna happen.”
“But you have a chance to follow your dreams. Kelsey said…with the right investment…”
Frustration coiled inside him. She was always pushing him. Looking out at some bright horizon she could see where he could never go. He knew she was trying to encourage him, like he was one of her damn students. But all he could hear was what he was doing wasn’t enough.
“I can’t afford it,” he said bluntly. “I don’t have the time. Or the money.”
And even that was too much. She was smart. He watched her face as she figured it out. “Because you bought out Dad’s half of the business.”
He didn’t say anything.
“Because Mom needed the money,” she continued slowly. “That’s why she said you’d been good to her.”
“It was a good deal for both of us,” Joe said. “She got a fair price, and I got the business.”
“The assets of the business, she said. Only there wasn’t much, was there?”
Not after he’d done the right thing by Maddie. Not after he’d paid off Brittany.
Anne’s eyes searched his. “When were you going to tell me?”
He didn’t like feeling like he was somehow in the wrong. His jaw set. “When were you going to tell me about the email from your boss? Or were you going to leave without saying anything?”
“I would never…” She dropped her gaze, twisting her hands together. “I haven’t answered her yet.”
The sudden flare of hope was painful. It wasn’t fair to ask for more than he was offering. But he couldn’t help trying to nail her down. “Why not?”
She glared. “Because I don’t want to leave Mom, you dummy. Or Daanis. Or you.”
Dummy. He folded his arms. “Then don’t.”
“It’s not that easy. I need a job. I’m not exactly making a living from my writing.”
“A minute ago, you were telling me to follow my dreams.”
“It’s not the same.”
Temper was more comfortable than this awful emptiness. “You’re right. Because I have responsibilities. People depending on me.”
Her face went white. “So do I. My students are counting on me to come back.”
“You, or a warm body to stand at the front of the class? It doesn’t make any difference to them.”
Her head jerked back. “That’s a terrible thing to say.”
Yep. Didn’t make him feel any better, either. “I’m just saying, anybody can be replaced.”
“I’m a good teacher. I have to be. If I’m not…” She swallowed. “What am I?”
She was Anne. That was enough for him. Why the hell wasn’t it enough for her?
He tucked his hands under his arms. “Guess you’re going back, then.”
“I don’t know. I haven’t decided.”
He looked at her, glowing with passion, full of dreams and drive. One foot already out the door. “Sure you have.”
Her face softened. “Joe…”
He moved around her to slot the board back in place. “Have a safe trip,” he said without looking at her. Have a nice life.
And listened to her leave.
The way everybody did.