Chapter 23
Zaila
I worried for the next week, always expecting Jay to make a snide comment or undermine me, but he didn’t.
In fact, he continued as if nothing untoward had happened between us, though he was often out of the office for long lunches.
One afternoon when Tim returned from lunch, he said he’d seen Jay with Jeff.
The next day, I went to lunch with Vivian and Paloma and saw Jay sitting in the same restaurant with our former boss, Lydia, of all people. “That’s strange,” I murmured.
“What?” Vivian asked. She’d been talking about her upcoming wedding, which sounded lovely.
“That guy back there—Jay Welks. He’s my boss. He’s talking to Lydia Breitbart, my former boss. Somehow it feels like they’re bonding over the Gunnar-and-me situation.”
“Oh, they are,” Paloma said. She took off her sweater, putting her toned arms on display. “They have a Zaila hate club, I’m sorry to say.”
“How do you know that?” I asked.
“Silas knows many, many things,” she said with a wry smile.
“I was hoping you wouldn’t notice them,” Vivian said, her tone regretful. “We came here to keep an eye on them.”
“Wait, why?”
“Because we don’t trust them,” Paloma said. “Jay wanted in your pants. Just because you picked Gunnar doesn’t mean he’s cool with losing.”
“We are married—or almost married—to athletes,” Vivian added. “They take competitive to scary places.”
“So…you’re stalking them?” I asked, my stomach knotting.
“Pfft. No, though Naomi wanted to put a tracker on Jay. We wouldn’t let her,” Vivian hurried to assure me.
“Might not be a bad idea,” Paloma muttered. “I don’t like how intent they are.” She pulled her gaze from Jay and Lydia to meet mine through the lenses of her glasses—cute, chunky turquoise frames.
“We can always let Keelie bring her golf clubs,” Vivian said.
Paloma narrowed her eyes. “Not a bad idea.”
“Can we just not? I’m kind of freaking out.” I took a long drink of my water. “Tell me more about your wedding.”
Vivian’s grin grew, and her eyes gleamed. “Oh, you asked for it.”
As the days passed, the lack of reprisal from Jay bothered me more than if he’d commented or gone back to being sullen, and his intense lunch with Lydia had waved all kinds of red flags.
But those were feelings, not concrete actions, so I had nothing to tell Gunnar.
There wasn’t a problem, and I hoped the situation had righted itself.
Plus, Gunnar and I didn’t get to see each other often, and we were finally spending this evening at his place.
I wasn’t about to waste it talking about Jay.
My mother had gone to a bridge tournament with an old friend.
Gunnar had booked them a suite at the hotel, and Mom had already sent me pictures, gushing about the amenities and the view of downtown.
Seeing her happy made me happy, and I’d just shown Gunnar how happy right here on his couch. He caressed my bare back with his fingertips as he nuzzled into my hair. The man loved my hair.
“I didn’t think I’d be this constantly horny at forty-four. You’ve had me thinking about sex more in the last few months than I did in the previous decade. A shadow flitted across his expression, darkening it with something that looked suspiciously like guilt.
I sighed as I propped my chin on my hands and stared into his light blue eyes.
“I’m twenty-four; you’re forty-four. Yeah, it’s a gap, but we’re happy.
I love spending time with you. I love how focused you are on me when we’re together, both with our clothes on and off.
” His lip quirked up, and I grinned back, relieved to see him relax.
“I just... I worry about the future. What if—”
“What if what?” I interrupted, my voice gentle but firm.
“What if you get hit by a Zamboni tomorrow? What if I trip over a hockey stick and break my neck? We can’t control the future, Gunnar.
You and I both know that.” I leaned down and pressed my lips to his, offering comfort after the sting of my words.
“You couldn’t save your brother, just like I couldn’t save my dad from that car accident, and I can’t stop the progression of my mother’s disease.
I hate that so much, but life doesn’t come with guarantees, no matter how much we plan. ”
His grip tightened on my hips, and pain flashed across his face.
I pressed on. “We’re not promised tomorrow. All we have is right now, this moment. And right now, I love being with you.”
Gunnar hugged me, his chin resting on top of my head. “You’re right,” he murmured. “I just... I’ve never felt this way before. It scares me sometimes.”
I leaned back with a smirk. “Well, old man, maybe it’s time you learned to live a little. I hear it’s all the rage with us youthful folk.”
He chuckled, the tension finally breaking. “All right, Rookie. What does living in the moment look like to you?”
“Well,” I said, pulling him towards the kitchen, “it starts with making some of those terrible dad jokes you love while you feed me dinner, and maybe planning our next adventure.”
“Will you eat naked with me?” he asked.
“I think I can manage that…as long as I get a towel for the seat.”
“But of course,” he assured me with a laugh.
As Gunnar gathered ingredients, weight lifted off my shoulders. We might not have forever; no one did. But now was beautiful, and that was enough.