Chapter 14
fourteen
Jeremy
Idon’t know if this is supposed to fix something in me, or if I’m doing this to bring peace to everyone else in my life.
Coach knew I was going to say yes before I even told him. I called him, and the first words out of his mouth were my start date and time.
He was even more thrilled when I told him what happened during PT and how I had a doctor’s appointment to have some tests done.
No one was more thrilled than my mom, though.
Her voice replays in my head on a constant loop from the first phone call after my appointment with Dr. Franklin.
I thought about telling them before I went, but there was still a part of me that thought it wasn’t real.
That I’d wake up the next day, and I’d stare at my feet, and nothing would happen.
But I was wrong.
Which just means PT will finally mean something. Not that it didn’t before, obviously, Lacey and everyone else were right when they told me, even if I felt like I wasn’t putting in the work, it was making a world of difference.
Honestly, I think it was part of the reason I said yes to teaching these kids at the rec center.
I felt as though it was a sign, a sign I should do this.
I didn’t think it would feel like this, though. I feel like a stranger in a place where I used to find solace—
The ice.
“Mr. Moore?” One of the boys in front of me raises his hand.
“Please, just call me Jeremy.” I force a smile, resting my hands on my lap.
Coach’s friend, Max, is with me today to help me meet all the parents and kids, and then in a few days, it’ll just be this group of fifteen kids and me.
I have an assistant coach to help me with the group, but it feels strange to be in charge of all these little kids.
They’re between the ages of six and eight, and this could be the beginning of their whole lives changing.
“Okay, Mr. Jeremy,” I stifle a laugh, “how are you going to teach us to play hockey?”
“Just like how I was taught,” I begin, until it hits me what he probably means.
How is a guy in a wheelchair going to teach them anything about skating?
Hopefully, before this camp is over, I’ll actually get on the ice myself, as I used to.
“Was he in a wheelchair, too?” Another kid asks, and Max steps forward, but I raise my hand.
“No, he wasn’t in a wheelchair, and up until recently I wasn’t either, but it’s a part of my life now, and obviously you kids are too observant for me to even try to hide it.
” They laugh, and I feel a wave of relief.
“I wasn’t much younger than you guys when I started playing hockey, and it quickly took over my whole life.
In a lot of ways, it was my life, but it's not just about what happens on the ice.”
I wheel closer to the ice.
“It’s also about what happens off the ice.
The relationships you form, the friends you make.
Hockey is fun, competitive, and exciting, but it’s even more exciting when you get to do it with your best friends.
Now, I may be a little rusty when it comes to actually being out on the ice, but that doesn’t mean I can’t see good technique from a mile away.
So, that’s why I’ll be teaching you. That and a whole lot more. ”
“Alright, you heard Coach Jeremy.” Max claps his hands. “Get out onto the ice and start warming up.”
Coach Jeremy… I like the sound of that more than I thought I would.
The kids head out to the ice, and I can already tell who the friend groups are in this group based on the little pods forming on the ice.
“You’re a natural, kid. No wonder your Coach reached out to me about you.”
“What do you mean?” I cross my arms. “He told me you were looking for someone and reached out to him.”
“I mean, we’re old friends, so in one of our recent get-togethers, I told him my dilemma. A few days later, he reached out to me and said that you’d be down to help me out.”
“When was this?”
“The end of June.”
That was before he even came to see me… before he even told me about the opportunity.
“That son of a bitch.” I chuckle.
“What?”
“Nothing. He’s just, he’s good.”
“Yeah, he is, and as I was saying, so are you. A lot of people think coaching is easy, that it comes naturally, but it doesn’t. Not to most people, anyway, but you… You’re a natural.”
“Thank you.”
“Sorry about them. You know how kids are, they’re intrigued by—”
“This?” I motion down at my wheelchair.
“Yeah, they don’t mean to—”
“It’s all good, sir. Seriously, I’ll take a handful of questions from little kids over all the stares I get when I go to the grocery store.”
“A lot of the kids were super excited when I told them you were going to be working with them. They couldn’t believe I got the Jeremy Moore to come train a bunch of kids.”
“I haven’t been the Jeremy Moore since the accident.”
“I don’t believe that for a second. I’ve seen you play. You don’t just lose that kind of magic, you just find a new way to use it.”
“So, I’ve been hearing.” I give him a soft smile and then scan the ice. “How are they doing? You’ve been at it for a little while now, right?”
“They’re good. There’s a lot of potential with this group, not that there needs to be, but there’s a whole lot of talent on the ice.”
“Anyone in particular?”
“Again, there are a lot of them, but the one who surprised me the most was number 20.” This time, my smile reaches my eyes. It’s another sign from the world. A kid wearing my number, being the one Max is surprised by.
I was once that kid. The one who was surprising the coaches.
“His name’s Henry. The kid came in with no experience. He’s one of our scholarship students, so we supplied his gear for this camp, and I knew by the end of day one the kid could really be something. If he wanted to be anyway. He has this grit, which is surprising to see in a kid this young.”
I watch number 20, Henry, skate back and forth on the ice. He’s with two other boys, and every time one of them gets back, the group laughs.
He’s fast.
I don’t think I was even close to that fast at his age, and I had been skating for years.
“What’s that thing you said about being a natural?” I look up at Max before finding Henry on the ice again. “'Cause I think I might know what you mean now… 'cause that kid, he definitely is one.”
Idoubt all days will be like this one. Today had very little training and a whole lot of questions. Questions about my time playing hockey, how I got into this chair, what made me want to play, and if I think I can actually coach them if I can’t skate myself.
Kids. You've got to love them.
“Mr. Moore.” The soft voice stops me in my tracks, and I turn around to be met by number 20—
Henry.
“Remember, it’s Jeremy. Just Jeremy.”
“Sorry, sir.”
“You don’t have to apologize, kid, just call me Jeremy.” I’m starting to sound like Coach, and I don’t know if I love it or hate it.
“Were you ever scared when you were on the ice?” His question stuns me. I don’t know what I was expecting him to ask, but it wasn’t that.
“Yeah, bud. Sometimes getting out onto the ice is scary. You never know what you’re going to get from other players on the ice, and it can be really scary, but I’m here to help prepare you for all of that. If hockey is something you really want to do.”
“I just joined to hang out with my friends.” He shrugs. “It kind of scares my mom, she’s worried I’m going to get hurt, and now I wonder if—”
“You will get hurt. I’m not going to sit here and lie to you, even at your age, but fear shouldn’t be the thing to hold you back. It should actually be the one thing constantly pushing you forward.”
I move closer to him and smile.
“You’ve got a lot of talent, Henry. Raw talent. Talent I didn’t even have at your age. You’re good, kid. I hope you don’t let the fear of the unknown keep you from that.”
“Thanks, Coach Moore.”
I don’t correct him. Again, I kind of like it. I like the idea of potentially being a huge influence in someone’s life, like so many of my coaches were for me.
Henry’s eyes leave mine for a split second before finding me again.
“I’ve got to go. Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“See you, Henry.”
Henry lugs his gear with him up the stairs and hugs a woman on the stairs. I assume it’s his mom until she pulls away, and my stomach drops.
It’s the girl.
The redhead I saw outside of PT is here.
Her little brother is training with me.
And now I have the in that Lacey couldn’t supply me.