Chapter 29
twenty-nine
Tristyn
Tonight has been the best night of my life.
I didn’t think that would be possible with how amazing our date was last week. I thought nothing would be able to top it, but seeing him with Henry. Seeing how invested he is in a little boy he’s only known for a handful of weeks, heals everything in my heart that was broken.
I had this internal battle constantly with Andrew, wanting him to love our little boy like I did. Constantly wondering how I could love Henry so much, and Andrew didn’t even care when he didn’t see him.
I used to blame myself. I felt as if I wasn’t trying hard enough, but seeing Jeremy with Henry tonight makes me realize I was never the problem.
If Andrew cared about his son, he’d put in effort.
I don’t know what’s next for me and Jeremy. Things are new and fresh and still so complicated, but I know he cares about Henry. He cares about him in a way I was constantly trying to get his father to care.
“All of the Rockford players are coming to the rec center, Mama.”
Henry gazes up at me with sleepy eyes. He’s lying on Jeremy’s lap as he wheels the two of them back to the car.
“Is that right?” I brush a hand over his hair.
“Yeah.” He yawns. “My friends are going to be so jealous.”
I laugh as the tiredness weighs down his eyes, and before I know it, his chest is rising and falling in a steady rhythm.
“I know I already said it, but thank you for tonight.” I shove my hands in my pockets. “He’ll be talking about this night for the rest of his life.”
“I’m just happy he had a good time. And that he got to see a good game.”
“It was good. I couldn’t tell you the last time I watched a hockey game, but this one kept me on the edge of my seat all night.”
“Good.”
“Do you miss it?”
I study Jeremy’s face as he stops.
“Stupid question. I know you miss it, I guess, I don’t know. Does it suck?” My head falls into my hands. I’m blowing this. I’m absolutely blowing this. “Fuck, I’m messing this up, I mean—”
“Yeah, it does. I love it so much, you know, as a sport. Even when I wasn’t on the ice playing, I loved going to games.
A lot of my memories involve going to hockey games with my dad or the guys, and now I don’t know if I can ever feel that love for the sport again.
” He keeps rolling. “I love coaching, and I’m good at it, and I never would’ve found that out if this didn’t happen, but seeing people play in that capacity just really makes me realize what I’m missing. ”
“And they don’t think you’ll ever get back on the ice?” I clasp my hands behind my back as my steps fall in line with his wheelchair.
“They don’t know. Honestly, something like this is day by day. I regained feeling a lot quicker than they thought I would. When I first woke up, there were talks of more surgeries and a lot of PT, and every time, I brought up hockey, it got shot down.”
We reach my car.
“But now I can move my legs. The motion isn’t great, and there’s still a lot of things I can’t do right now, like drive or walk without a harness or a back brace and bars assisting me, but a month ago I could barely get out of bed.”
“So, there’s a chance you can play again?”
He gazes up at me, and even though there’s a smile on his face, he doesn’t seem hopeful. He’s probably been down this road a million times, and they never led him where he wanted them to.
“I like to think so.” He fidgets with his fingers. “But I won’t ever be able to do it in the capacity I trained for. Dr. Franklin told me I could never play professionally again. There might be a day when I’m back on the ice, but never for the reason I worked my whole life for.”
“I’m sorry.” I lean against my car. “I know it’s a stupid thing to say and you probably hate hearing it, but I’m so sorry.”
“You know, when I first woke up, everyone was basically telling me that everything happens for a reason, and I thought it was just some bullshit they were telling me because what else could they say.” He shrugs.
“But then I met you, and I don’t know what the future holds, but there’s a good chance that our paths would’ve never crossed if this didn’t happen.
So maybe my future isn’t going to be what I planned out all those years ago.
But maybe it’s the future I was always supposed to have. ”
He reaches for my hand and gives it a firm squeeze.
I don’t know what I did to deserve a guy like Jeremy. There are still moments when I see him that I’m waiting for it to all come crashing down. Like it’s all a dream and eventually I’ll wake up and go back to reality. But until that happens, I’m going to cherish every moment.
“You sure you don’t want a ride home?”
“No, I’m okay.” He smiles as I stand up and unlock my car. “My sister is coming down to get me. I’m going home for the next couple of days. Plus, you should get this dude to bed.”
“I think it’s more important for me to get to bed.
No matter what time he goes to sleep, he always seems to have no problem getting up at the crack of dawn.
” I chuckle, opening the back seat, and then grabbing Henry out of Jeremy’s arms. “It’s his mom who always seems to have the problem getting out of bed in the morning. ”
Henry stirs as I get him into the car and buckle him in, but he doesn’t wake up, his head falls to the side, and he’s out cold.
“I’ll call you in the morning?” Jeremy asks.
“I’d like that.”
He glances in Henry’s direction and then grins up at me, tugging my hand slightly, pulling me down to sit across his lap. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, running my fingers through the hair resting at the nape of his neck.
“I liked tonight a lot. You’re an amazing mom.”
“I liked it too.” I rest my forehead against his.
“We should do it again sometime.”
“Just say when and where.”
“I’ll be taking you up on that.”
“I hope so.”
He tucks his index finger under my chin, lifting my lips to his lips. There’s something about the way he kisses me that I can’t quite explain.
He draws me in, soft and sweet. The type of kiss that makes you feel like it’s only the two of you in the world.
And then his tongue grazes my lips, parting them just enough for his tongue to sneak in and wrestle with mine, and the kiss becomes urgent and passionate in a whole new way.
As if the world is ending outside, and he wants me to remember this kiss in the next life.
His hands brush against my cheeks as he cups my face, deepening our kiss. My hands travel up the back of his head, sinking deeper and deeper into his hair.
He pulls back, tugging on my bottom lip as he does.
“You should go.” He kisses me again.
“I should.”
Neither of us moves.
His eyes study my face. I’ve never felt so naked in front of someone before while being fully clothed.
“I like you,” he whispers. “A lot.”
My cheeks heat up, and his eyes soften as he brushes a strand of hair out of my face.
“Ditto.”
Idon’t know how you’re not exhausted.” Vince curls up next to me on the couch. “You got home much later than I thought you were going to. I thought we weren’t going to get to debrief this morning.”
“Oh, trust me, I’m exhausted, but I was too buzzed to sleep last night. And my best friend was fast asleep in my bed when I got home.”
“It’s not like we’ve never slept together, T.”
“You were so sprawled out, I had no idea where to even fit in. Honestly, though, I think sleeping out here last night was better for me anyway. I don’t know if I would’ve fallen asleep without the TV.”
Henry is still asleep, thankfully. Last night took all of his energy out of him, but I know he had a blast. Henry talks in his sleep and was mumbling about hockey the whole drive home.
“Things getting serious this quick?”
“I don’t know. I guess in some ways they have to. I have a kid; I can’t exactly just date for fun. Every relationship I have has to mean something more, you know?”
“Do you think Jeremy knows that?”
“I think he might be the only guy I’ve ever gone out with who does.
” I pull my legs up to my chest. “You should’ve seen him with Henry last night.
Henry kept asking him questions and was taking his attention away from the game, but he didn’t seem to care.
He was so invested in every question and conversation. I've never seen Henry smile so big.”
“Sounds like Uncle Vince is being replaced.”
I place a hand on his forearm.
“You know that will never happen. The bond the two of you have can never be changed or replicated. He’s just forming a new bond with Jeremy.”
“It’s nice to see you like this.”
“Like what?”
“Happy.”
“What are you talking about? I’m always happy. I’ve got you and Henry.”
“This happiness is different. It looks good on you.”
There’s a knock on my door, and we freeze.
I don’t think Andrew would come here, at least not this early in the morning.
“Are you expecting someone?”
I shake my head as I stand up and head to the front door. It’s a little after seven, so not crazy early, but definitely too early for visitors.
I peek through the peephole.
“Who is it?” Vince asks.
“No one.”
I unlock the door and swing it open, and that’s when I see it. Coffee and donuts are sitting in front of my door.
I can’t fight the smile forcing its way onto my face. I bend down and pick up the note taped on the box of donuts.
Not the most nutritious breakfast, but definitely needed after a long night. Especially the coffee. I’ll call you later.
- Jeremy
P.S. I like you.
“P.S. I like you.” Vince reads the note over my shoulder, and I almost jump back.
“When did you get there?”
“The second you opened the door.” His eyebrows knit together. “You’ve got this guy wrapped around your finger. You’ve got him giddy like a little high school boy.”
“Shut up.”
I pick up the box of donuts and shove them into Vince’s chest. Then I grab my coffee and shut the door. I drop back onto the couch, set my coffee on the table, and grab my phone. I find Jeremy’s number and type out one word—
Ditto.