Chapter Thirty
CHAPTER THIRTY
WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING HERE?
EZRA
What the fuck am I doing here?
I pace my living room, angered by the sight of the new furniture I purchased to fill the empty spaces. The empty spaces I’d hope she’d fill.
But the look in her eyes, the words that she said, all told me that I was wasting my fucking time here.
Because love doesn’t matter if it isn’t willingly given or willingly returned.
I want you to come with me.
The words ring out, words I’d uttered in a moment of sheer vulnerability. Words I’d hoped to give her with more time, with her body languid next to mine.
Words that didn’t warrant the slightest of reactions from her.
I hadn’t told her when to show up, so I wait here alone, for her presence to break through and pierce the melancholy of my solitude.
Fuck, what am I doing here?
I hear the rocks kick up under her tires as her car makes its way down my driveway. In an effort to keep from rushing to meet her, to keep from making a complete fucking fool of myself, I sit down on the suede sectional, clasping my hands as I wait for her to walk inside. For her to introduce her scent to a space that has long forgotten it.
What the fuck am I doing here?