Chapter Twenty-One
Avery
Avery climbed the ladder, toweled dry, and plopped down on the chaise lounge next to Lily.
They’d spent the morning relaxing on Miles’s dock with Anna Catherine while Miles and Hayes visited the corporate retreat.
When Lennox went down for a late morning nap, Anna stayed inside and napped too.
To cool off, Avery and Lily swam all the way out to the large rock everyone called King of the Rocks and back.
“I know this sounds weird, but this lake reminds me of the sweet tea we drink down south.” Avery reapplied sunscreen to her forehead. “They’re both so refreshing.”
“Like when you pour a sugar packet into iced tea?” Lily asked.
“Bless you heart.” Avery placed a hand to her chest in feigned shock and conjured up her most delicate southern accent. “Sweet tea is not iced tea with sugar, darling. It’s carefully crafted.”
Mimi had always added a pinch of baking soda and slowly dissolved the sugar in the water before adding the tea.
Avery made the Easton’s sweet tea now because her family agreed hers tasted exactly like Mimi’s recipe.
She needed to make some for Miles and their friends.
Miles would love southern food. Grits, country ham biscuits, pimento cheese, cucumber sandwiches, lemon bars.
She couldn’t wait for him to taste it all.
She and Lily sat quietly surveying the bustle of waterfront activity over at Montressa.
Children played Marco Polo and parents stood along the beach shore, supervising their toddlers.
People came and went in kayaks and stand-up paddleboards.
The ski captains were giving lessons. Casper slept on the main dock under the Montressa flag, flapping and snapping in the breeze.
The lodge looked happier with people around.
“Surveying your work?” asked Lily.
“Our work.” Avery nodded. “You, me, Miles, Nate, Wes, and then some.”
All of them contributed to the success of Montressa, and none of it would’ve happened if she and Miles hadn’t moved past their rocky start in May.
Now her relationship with Miles reminded Avery of holding hands while running down a steep hill.
Exhilarating at first. But they’d reached the point where their bodies were moving faster than their feet, and the hurtling pace felt unstoppable.
It remained to be seen whether they fell or miraculously reached the bottom together.
Earlier in the day, Miles seemed ready to topple over the second Anna mentioned their hypothetically cute children.
He couldn’t leave fast enough. Yes, he and Hayes had an appointment with their realtor to see the retreat, but he’d peeled out of the parking lot and left her standing in a cloud of driveway dust.
Avery’s focus drifted to Lily, who lay on her back, eyes closed, soaking in the warmth of the midday sun.
Ever since Lily and Nate started dating, they’d worked toward a shared future.
The wedding planning seemed easy. Within twenty-four hours of their engagement, Lily and Nate had set a date and booked Montressa.
Avery and Miles were the only attendants.
Lily and her mother bought the dress before her mother left to hike the Appalachian Trail with Miles’s father.
Once she and Nate married, Lily planned to keep teaching, Nate would run the resort and every summer, they’d run Montressa together, just like Sam and Laurie had done.
An entire shared future fell into place with little effort.
Avery didn’t know what she and Miles were doing six weeks from now when she left to start her MBA. At some point, the shared calendar conversation would become whether they wanted similar things out of life.
A dragonfly landed on Lily’s thigh. She shaded her eyes with her hand and studied Avery. “You’re thinking about something.”
Avery let out an exasperated sigh and rubbed a droplet of water off her freckled thigh.
“Lily, do you and Nate have your whole lives planned? Not just that you’ll live here. Things like how many kids you’ll have?”
“Kinda.” Lily took a sip from her mammoth water bottle. “Not that we agree. He says four children. I say two and then decide. We’ll run Montressa, but I don’t know how long I’ll keep teaching. I may burn out or maybe I’ll want more time with Nate. So, I guess the answer is yes and no.”
So maybe they hadn’t etched every detail in stone, but at least they agreed that they’d be together. Avery watched another dragonfly hover over the surface of the water as she smoothed out her towel.
“Miles and I have no plan past mid-August.” She picked a loose towel thread.
“When we’re together at the lake, we’re on the same page.
It’s all little things, like whether to make blueberry muffins or blueberry pancakes.
I’m afraid to ask the bigger questions because I’m catching glimpses of his answers, and I think I assumed things that aren’t correct. ”
“Like what?” Lily asked.
“I’m not sure he wants a long-term commitment.” A tear stung the corner of Avery’s eye. “And I don’t care if we get married. I’m okay with that. But I want a partner who’s in it for the long haul.”
The door to the Red House slid open and Anna Catherine emerged carrying Lennox who looked adorable in her tiny swimsuit and a floppy hat.
“Hey.” Anna Catherine grinned from under a matching floppy sun hat as she bounced Lennox on her hip. Her other hand held a small pink inflatable swim float. “I thought I’d take her for a swim.”
Anna Catherine passed the lounge chairs and walked to the edge of the dock.
“I want to get in, but I don’t know how to do it with the baby. Can one of you help me put her in this little floatie?”
“Sure.” Avery held Lennox as Anna Catherine slid into the water and kept the tiny inner tube still. Lennox’s eyes grew large at the sensation of the cool water as Avery lowered her into the tube.
“I can’t tell if she’s petrified or happy.” Anna Catherine snickered as she guided Lennox’s tiny feet through the leg holes. She pulled up the collapsible sunshade and spun Lennox around so she could see Avery. “Say thank you to Avery, Lennox.”
Lennox cooed and splashed her hand in the water. Anna Catherine steered Lennox back and forth in front of the dock.
“That floatie is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,” said Lily.
“Miles bought it,” Anna said. “He had everything ready for us. Diapers, Boudreaux’s Butt Paste, this, and a portable crib so she could nap inside it while we hang out. It has a mobile with little moose and fish, which is so Miles. He’s the sweetest.”
Lily smacked Avery’s arm. “See! That’s not something a man who wants to stay solo does.”
“Wait, what did I miss?” Anna Catherine asked.
“Avery thinks Miles doesn’t want a long-term commitment.” Lily offered.
“Oh Avery, I’m so sorry. I’m partially to blame,” Anna said.
“When I said you and Miles would be great parents, I overstepped. We talk about personal stuff with Miles all the time. But I went too far. I hope I didn’t upset things.
I forgot you’re new to our group. It feels like I’ve known you forever. ”
Miles always said Anna Catherine and Hayes were regular people, but Avery savored someone famous bonding with her.
“It’s okay.” Avery glanced back at the Red House. “But his reaction worries me.”
“I think I made him sweat.” Anna let out an uneasy laugh. “I have a habit of pushing too hard.”
Except Miles seemed anxious on the walk, way before Anna had entered the conversation. Walking a baby with a dog made Avery imagine the two of them in a few years. He could’ve envisioned the same thing. Maybe Victoria was right, and Miles didn’t want a family, despite being a natural with children.
“No, Anna, it wasn’t you. It was already weird.” Avery bent over and dragged a finger through the water. “I got the sense he doesn’t want children.”
Anna spun around, mouth wide open in shock. “What?”
“He doesn’t have siblings. I get the impression he didn’t feel parented as a teen, because of his mother’s illness. He told me he isn’t sure he’s equipped to be a parent.”
“No one is sure until they do it,” Anna Catherine said.
“The part about his teenage years is true.” Lily put on her sunglasses.
“Miles was such a good kid. Never missed an assignment, overachieved at everything, never misbehaved. Never drank or smoked. His mother was in and out of the hospital all through high school. The guy parented himself, and he did a damn good job.”
Whenever Miles talked about the things he’d missed out on, Avery turned to mush and felt compelled not to challenge him. Doing so could take him farther into his pain. Besides, a lifetime together was a touchy subject for two people who just reunited.
“He had panic in his eyes and couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
” Avery noticed a group of kids swimming out to the King of the Rocks.
“The only other time he left that parking lot that quickly was the day we broke up. Maybe he doesn’t see himself with me after this summer.
Victoria said we’d never last. She called him Mr. One and Done. ”
“What? He never talks about the women he’s dated, except you.
” Anna Catherine swam closer, pushing Lennox ahead of her.
“He used to tell us he thought he’d seen you in random places, like in crowds or waiting for the subway.
He wanted to know our opinion on whether he could be forgiven.
Occasionally, he contemplated texting or calling you. ”
“He did that with us too,” Lily said. “He always asked about you. And he wanted to know if you asked about him.”
Avery had never once asked about him, afraid of reopening the hole he’d left in her heart. When he asked about Avery, it must’ve been hard for Lily. If she’d been in Lily’s shoes, she’d have lied to make him feel better.
“One time, I asked if he had a photo of you,” Anna Catherine said.
“He didn’t have one on him, so we googled you and when your photo came up…
Avery, the warmth in his eyes could have melted an iceberg.
Everything stopped. The house fell quiet.
The kind of stillness where you can tell something is about to happen.
He decided to find you that night. In the end, he didn’t contact you because Nate told him you were engaged.
He said all he wanted was for you to be happy.
But he said it with regret, like he wished he’d been the one who’d made you happy. ”
“He might need more time,” Lily added. “He’s relied on himself for so long. Maybe his dreams are coming true, and it’s overwhelming.”
They’d also entered the relationship with their own trepidations.
Avery couldn’t let go of the worry that whomever she fell for might not love her the way she loved them.
That fear stayed glued to her like an invisible tattoo.
In the Boathouse, Miles had admitted he’d spent a long time telling himself all the reasons he didn’t deserve her.
Maybe a piece of that still lurked in him.
“This morning was stressful.” Anna Catherine shook her head. “But I promise he’s different with you. Hayes and I were just saying last night how this is the first time we’ve seen him so relaxed and content.”
It helped to hear Miles’s best friends had noticed a change.
“Thank you,” Avery said. “He called me his girlfriend. That’s great, but it also feels like whatever I say becomes clouded with motive. I don’t want to push him into something he isn’t ready for, and this morning wasn’t the best time to take a deep dive into our future.”
“Hang in there,” Anna said. “Let him get used to the idea of the two of you. It may take him longer than the average guy to open up about the big stuff.”
All three of them stared out at the lake where the group of kids had made it to the King of the Rocks.
“I used to be petrified of swimming out to that rock. It’s so far out and so deep all around it.” Lily took another sip of water. “The cool thing about people is we learn how to do all kinds of things we were once afraid of. Miles’ll get there.”
“Yeah.” Avery stood. She needed a moment to herself and a glass of water. “I’m going inside to get something to drink. Y’all need anything?”
As Avery walked into the A-frame, she decided this weekend was for having fun.
Miles took a big step introducing her to his friends.
They could discuss their futures over time, which they’d already set aside.
After a quick trip to the bathroom, she opened the refrigerator.
The entire top shelf was filled with pint-sized bottles of chocolate milk.
For one man. She let out a chuckle and chose sparkling water.
The back door creaked.
“Avery.”
His voice prickled every hair on her neck. She closed the refrigerator door and met his gaze. The color had returned to his face. Miles opened his arms wide. He wanted the same thing she did. She put down her can.
As soon as he wrapped her in his embrace, her entire body relaxed. His did the same. He squeezed her tighter, taking a long inhale, as if he were smelling something he loved.
Miles was a conundrum. Sometimes he pushed her away. Other times, like now, it felt like he’d never let her go.
He kissed her neck and murmured into her hair. “I’m so sorry I bolted this morning.”
They needed this right now. The two of them, holding each other. Nothing else mattered.
“This morning was a jump I didn’t see coming.” She pulled back to gauge his reaction and chuckled. “We haven’t even seen each other’s apartments.”
Miles laughed and a spark lit his eyes. He pushed her back to the counter and settled his hips into hers. Avery massaged the knots in his shoulders.
“Let’s change that,” he said. “Come see my apartment next weekend. We’ll go to the camp fundraiser together. Sunday morning, you can fly back to Maine with Anna for Lily’s bachelorette. What do you think?”
A step forward. He was ready to let her into his life, ready for her to meet more of his friends.
“I’d like that.” She kissed him.
“It’s a date.” He leaned over and scooped an arm behind her knees, lifting her and carrying her to the stairs.
“Miles, we should be friendly hosts and go swim with your guests,” she said, putting up no fight. After the morning they’d had, she needed to feel him.
“I need to change into my swim trunks,” he said, his voice rough and ragged. “You know what your coconut sunscreen does to me, and if I don’t untie your bikini before I go out there”—he growled into her neck—“our guests are going to be acutely aware of how much I want you. And that’s rude.”
“So considerate.” She kissed his neck.
“Nah, I’m about to get wicked selfish.”