19. Kelsey
Kelsey
It takes a ridiculous amount of exfoliating scrub and rubbing with a washcloth until I’m red and raw to get the words Riot wrote on my body to fade.
It’s going to take a lot more than a washcloth to scrub them from my psyche. Traitor. Bitch. Thief. And then the last one... in thick, capital letters—heartless. They hurt because he used to know I was none of those things.
He was unnecessarily cruel. Hurtful. And none of the words he wrote are true. It’s not just my skin that is stinging by the time I crawl into my bunk utterly confused. How am I the traitor? The heartless bitch?
He’s the one who betrayed me when he slept with Sonatina the weekend of the wedding. When I still thought we could find our way despite the arguments and Sonatina’s tricks.
He’s the one missing his heart! He chose the rockstar life without me over standing up to Carmine for me. I was collateral damage when it came to L.A. Riot’s meteoric rise. I was the one tossed out with the garbage, socially ruined, and completely broken.
He’s the one who’s changed. Become a monster. Someone I don’t even recognize. He’s diabolical. Cruel. He’s the one making everything so bad. He’s the one torturing me. The one taking indecent photos of me and threatening to put them on social media. He’s the one holding me down...
I had woken up with my heart beating out of my chest. That familiar sensation of being held down and overpowered by a man wanting to hurt me... Marco was my first thought. The fork under my pillow my second.
Only it wasn’t my bed or my pillow. And neither Marco nor his ghost had found me.
It shouldn’t have mattered that it was Riot who had me trapped beneath him—when he keeps going out of his way to hurt me and humiliate me—but it did. The sudden fear had eased replaced by slick heat between my thighs drowning out everything.
Even now, it’s got me in a stranglehold.
I twist and turn and try to ignore the throbbing between my legs. I should be disgusted by my body’s reaction. I hate him so much. But what’s worse? He could tell. When he warned me the guys would hear if I screamed... the way my insides clenched was undeniable.
But it has to be because I’m horny, right? Because it damn sure isn’t from the way he’s treating me. If I had my vibrator, I wouldn’t be this hot and bothered. It’s the sexually charged energy from the concerts and being surrounded by hot, horny rockstars.
My new favorite fantasy fills my thoughts.
I’m in Riot’s bed with Kodiak and Bronx. Kodiak is leaning against the headboard with me between his muscular thighs. His huge hands are massaging my breasts while crushing my back against his chest, as he kisses and sucks at the side of my neck.
I slide my hand slowly down between my tits. A muscle flutters in my belly, creating a tickling surge of pleasure. I part my thighs as my palm skims my mound.
Bronx is on his knees between my legs. He places my hand on his chest and runs it down his insane abs and over the hard bulge in his sweats. Leaning in for a kiss, he presses his thumb to my clit and rubs small circles that send lightning through my core.
My fingers trace the path I imagine Bronx taking around my clit then over it. My hips start to move and my breathing picks up. I try to keep silent knowing bunk alley is full. But the idea that any of them might be awake... it turns me on.
Our positions change on the bed. The two men lay me down. Bronx spreads my legs and puts his mouth on my pussy while Kodiak lays on his side next to me, caressing every inch of me.
A whimper escapes me when I push two fingers inside. I clamp my lips together and start to fuck myself. Nice and slow, and hoping no one can hear the squelch from how wet I am every time I thrust them in.
Hoping that maybe they can because the idea is hot as hell.
Riot sits on a chair beside the bed. His gaze is locked with mine. It’s filled with jealousy. And dark heat. He watches as I writhe under Kodiak’s hands and Bronx eats my pussy until I come.
My thighs shake.
Riot leaves his seat to join us on the bed. He holds me down and—
I grab my pillow and hold it over my face to muffle my cry as I come on my own fingers hard enough the world fades to dark.
Much more relaxed, I fall asleep.
I wake up to Golden thumping his fist on the bunks as he walks up and down bunk alley with a stop at Riot’s door. “Everyone off the bus. We’re going to get food.”
“Fuck off,” Bronx groans.
Kodiak exits his bunk and straightens to his feet. He gives me a knowing grin. “Didn’t get much sleep, Scary Girl?”
So he heard me.
In the sober light of day, perhaps I should be embarrassed. Maybe I am. My cheeks are warm to my palms. But a thrill shoots through me.
“You sound sexy as hell when you come.” He winks at me and walks away.
Yep. Oh God. He definitely heard me... I don’t hate that.
Riot is glaring daggers at Kodiak’s back when I climb from my bunk. Arms crossed over his chest, he stands in my way as I try to enter the bathroom. “What the fuck was that about?”
“What was what about?” I play it cool.
He steps aside and lets me pass.
I should have known better. As soon as I enter the bathroom, he’s behind me. His chest against my back, shoving me forward. He seizes my elbow and spins me around, walking me backward until my back is against the wall.
“Never pegged you for a bully.” I wish I’d brought the fork from under my pillow. I would totally stab him with it.
He ignores my insult. “I told them you were off-limits. Did he fuck you last night?”
I grin viciously. I want to say yes. He’d deserve it.
Hell, he might finally leave me alone. But that would send his ire Kodiak’s way, and the bassist did nothing to earn it.
The last thing I want is to cause issues for the three other members of L.A.
Riot. “I finger fucked myself if you must know. You stole my vibrator leaving me no choice but to get myself off. I can’t help it if that means your bandmates get to hear me come. ”
“You want to perform, you perform for me,” he says.
I don’t admit I already have in my fantasy. “Fuck you.”
“No. You’ll fuck yourself.” He grips my pajama bottoms and yanks them down to my knees, leaving me with only my panties to hide behind. Taking my hand, he places it between my legs over my panties. “And I’ll watch.”
My belly flutters as liquid heat dampens the silk under my hand. “Why would I want to do that?”
“Because you want to taunt me with what I can’t have. And you want them to want you. It’s all the power you’re going to get and you know it.” His heavy hooded gray eyes have turned molten. “Take it, Little Vandal.”
I want to torture him. I want to remind him of what we used to have...
what he threw away. I curl a finger into my panties and tug them aside, then slip a finger inside to where I’m aching and wanton.
When it’s not enough, I add a second and pump them in and out, coating them in my juices.
Running them over my clit between thrusts.
Grinding into my palm when my hips leave the wall to take my fingers deeper.
My breathing grows choppy and shallow. It’s incredibly heady to fuck myself in front of him like this... with the way he’s watching me... “How does it feel to know I would rather fuck every one of your bandmates than consider ever fucking you again.”
My taunt hits its mark. His pupils narrow and his jaw is sharp enough to cut glass. He wraps his hand around my throat, his thumb caressing my heightened pulse. He denies me any distance. “You’re a fucking liar.”
“I hate you.” I take sharp, tiny breaths while I continue to work my fingers in and out of my pussy. The inability to pull in a deep breath is like a magical elixir. My head grows fuzzy and the rest of my senses sharpen. I am so close.
But it’s not enough.
“You need me.” His chest against mine, he covers the hand between my legs and guides my fingers in and out of my soaked pussy.
“I don’t fucking need you. I don’t want you.” The pressure of his touch... the proximity of his body... I could combust with it. The need for release is too much.
A moan slips from between my lips. I can’t fight it.
“Fuck.” He buries his face in my neck as our fingers slip and slide against each other inside me.
“Holy shit.” The fullness... the friction. My orgasm is growing. It’s right there.
“Scream for me,” he demands, his hot breath rolling over my skin. “I’ll make sure you stay on this edge until you do.”
“Fuck you.” I mean to sound strong, but it comes out needy and breathless.
“Do it,” he orders. “Let them hear what they’re missing out on. That you’re in here with me. Coming hard because I let you.”
“I hate you,” I sob, unable to keep my cries silent any longer. It’s not because of him. It’s not for him. Knowing the others can hear... that’s what has me teetering on the edge. Not him.
“There it is,” he growls as our entwined hands tumble me into an intense orgasm.
My knees buckle until it’s his hand between my legs and his chest against mine that keeps me upright. His fingers continue to plunge and stretch me until there’s nothing left to wring from my body.
I can’t catch my breath.
He draws his hand from between my thighs. His fingers leave a wet trail on my skin before he lifts them to his mouth. His face is still buried in the side of my neck. He doesn’t look at me while he sucks my taste from his digits.
I don’t look at him while he lowers his hand, brushing his knuckles over my rising and falling chest in a move that has me trembling.
He exhales deeply before he lifts his head. The storm in his eyes when they lock with mine... it steals the breaths I’m fighting to get back under control.
Abruptly he steps back. Spinning around, he walks away. The hand he touched me with forming a tight fist as he exits the bathroom.
I slide down the wall into a heap on the floor, tears running down my face a sob escapes me.
What the hell was that?