26. Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Six
The second half of the season is upon us, and the pressure is mounting for the Renegades.
Last year’s playoff collapse still hangs over the team, and everyone knows that this year’s performance needs to be vastly different.
The Renegades are a talented team, but inconsistency and off-ice distractions have hampered their progress.
Shep Landon is facing his own challenges, both on and off the ice.
These next few weeks will be a test of character, and the Renegades need to find their focus if they want to make a serious run for the Stanley Cup. ~Renegades Rinkside
Merri
My fingers trembling, I swiped to end the call from Sellers. Wilson sat with his back to me, working on footage for our next opponent. The tap-tap-tap of his fingers across his keyboard filled the space. Louder in the quiet of our shared office.
Did he know? No. He couldn’t. Hadn’t Sellers just said he wanted to let me know first?
I snatched Joonie up from my desk, tightened my fingers around my phone and stood. “I’m going to head over to the coffee shop. I need a perk-me-up.”
Wilson waved his hand, fingers in the shape of a gun, over his head.
My heart pounded and a scream clawed at the back of my throat.
I battled the urge to run from the office; resisted the grin that wanted to cover my face.
I turned toward the exit and not the dining hall.
I’d never walked so fast in my life, the rapid-fire cadence of my Mary Janes on tile as I shouldered through the heavy metal door and into the employee parking area.
Not quite private enough, though I didn’t see anyone around. The players were on the ice and the staff occupied, too. As I should be. If I hadn’t taken that call…
I rounded a corner and slammed my back onto the cold cement wall. Tears threatened, but I blinked them back. I wouldn’t cry. This was a good thing. I pressed a kiss to the top of Joonie’s head, blew out a breath, and flicked my phone awake. My fingers still trembling, I dialed Nat.
She picked up on the third ring. “Hey, what’s up?”
“Sellers isn’t coming back. He’s recommending me for the position permanently.” Even as I spoke the words, they didn’t feel real. Even as my best friend squealed on the other end of our call, I couldn’t believe my dream could be coming true.
“Girl, this is amazing! And you’ve been doing such a good job, too. No way they don’t offer you the position. No way!”
I nodded. “I hope so.”
She snorted. “You hope. You’re screaming inside, aren’t you? Covering it up with this calm shit, but really, you’re losing your mind, right?”
“Lost. Gone. Screaming so loud in my head.” I looked around the parking garage filled with both player and employee vehicles.
I recognized Shep’s over-sized pick-up truck at the end of a row, the bed protruding into the lane.
“I’m in the parking garage. I don’t see any people, but you know how sound travels in these things. ”
“Drinks tonight? We’ll scream our heads off over mojitos at the Puck’n Boards.”
“Yes, please.”
My bestie laughed. “Yes, please,” she mimicked. “I’m so happy for you, Mer. I have to run, but we’ll get our drink on tonight. First round’s on me, but then you’re up. Now that you’ll be making that NHL paycheck!”
A laugh bubbled up, catching in my throat. “Not yet! And the players may make ‘NHL paychecks,’ but the peons still make peon paychecks. Anyway, we’re not risking a jinx. You’re buying all night.”
After ending the call, I stayed pressed against the concrete wall outside the arena.
The rough surface grounded me as memories washed over me.
With Joonie clutched to my chest, Mom’s image filled my mind—her bright smile as she’d helped me move into my dorm at Arvon, her endless enthusiasm for my career dreams.
Back then, we hadn’t known about the cancer lurking beneath her vibrant exterior. I’d thrown myself into college life with the self-absorbed focus of any freshman, while she’d quietly begun the first round of treatments.
But she never stopped believing in my goals, even as the treatments failed.
By the time the job offer from Arvon came, she’d failed treatment and come to me with the idea of a long road trip.
Perfect timing, she said, because she could always find a silver lining to even the most dire of circumstances.
Perfect time to see the country, to spend some time together. To share a long good-bye.
The NHL career she’d always envisioned for me stretched ahead, so close I could almost touch it. A tear slipped down my cheek as pride and grief tangled in my chest. Mom would have loved this moment—would have been the first to celebrate, to say “I told you so” with that knowing smile.
Neither of us expected it to end in Las Vegas, Nevada, of all places. She’d been further along with the disease than she’d let on. Putting on a pretty face, pushing through her pain, to be with me. To give me one last gift.
I pressed my lips to Joonie’s blue spikes, summoning the memory of Mom in that hospital bed, her wan smile brightening as she’d held the little Pop. “It’s happening, Mom. It really, really is.”
The metal door slammed, the sound ricocheting through the garage. Footsteps approached, and I scraped my palms across my cheeks, erasing the tear tracks.
“What’s wrong?”
Shep’s voice sent my pulse skittering. He veered toward me, concern etched in the deep lines between his brows. His gaze swept over me, assessing, protective.
The urge to share my news crashed over me.
Before calling Nat, I’d wanted to find him first. To see his eyes light up with that competitive fire, to hear his victory whoop echo through the halls.
The realization burned. Despite my protests about keeping my distance, he’d already carved out space in my life. In my heart.
He stopped an arm’s length away. Silent. Waiting.
“Sellers isn’t coming back. He’s telling the administration today. He wanted to let me know first because he wants to recommend me for the position of video coach permanently.”
Shep’s bright blue eyes widened, shining with excitement. “That’s fantastic, Merri-bean! Coach Trasier will snatch you up in a hot minute.”
“You think?” Why was I seeking confirmation? Hadn’t the head coach shown me in myriad ways how much he valued my work in just the short time I’d been here already? I rolled my shoulders back and grinned up at Shep. “You’re right. He will.”
Shep reached out and smoothed his thumb under my eye. “Happy tears?”
“The happiest.”
“I’m happy for you, Merri.”
I nodded, pushing a wobbly smile to my lips.
Today was our first day back from the winter break.
I’d avoided the locker room, the player lounge—all the player spaces.
I’d holed up in my office, determined to resist the pull of Shep’s magnetic presence.
Pretend our night together never happened.
The warmth of his palm on my cheek blew a hole right through my resolution. I leaned into his touch.
He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. Soft, quick, undemanding. “Let me take you out to celebrate?”
I was shaking my head before he finished the sentence. “That’s impossible.”
“No more games, Merri. We’ve got something here. There’s a reason playing games with you is so much fun. For you, too, if you’d only admit it.”
I stepped back and his hand dropped. “An attraction is fleeting. Here one minute, gone the next. I can’t flush my career down the drain because you like playing games with me.”
Shep made a disgusted sound, shoving his Renegades cap off as he ran his hand through his hair. He swung down to pick it up with a sharp movement. “You’re right. Of course, you’re right.”
He slumped his shoulder onto the cement wall, his ice-blue gaze drilling into me.
“If all I felt was an attraction, I could walk away. But you know how I spent my winter break?” He pushed away from the wall and stalked close again.
“Being tortured by my sister and her partner. He knows exactly how she likes her burger, down to how much ketchup to squirt out for the fries. He knows when she’s had enough.
Knows when she’s wanting a glass of water before she asks for it.
He knows when she’s craving sweets. He knows when she’s too tired but won’t admit it and just go to bed, but he knows better than to nag her and to just let her lean into his side on the couch.
He knows exactly what she likes in her morning coffee.
He knows—fuck. He knows everything. Every stupid little detail. ”
He clasped my shoulders, staring down at me with wide, shining, hopeful eyes.
“And it hit me. I want to know all those stupid little details about you.” He pulled me closer, wrapping his arms around me until I was pressed up against his chest. “And it scares the hell out of me because I really don’t know what I’m doing.
I’ve got so much going on and I fuckin’ can’t mess this shit up with Hannah.
And I can’t mess up your job, your career.
But I’m a selfish asshole because I really want to convince you we could make this work.
We could keep it under wraps, figure it out, be together. There has to be a way.”
I clenched my eyes closed, his words ripping through me with the force of a tsunami. I couldn’t help but think about Cale. Even though every cell in my body told me Shep was nothing like my ex, I couldn’t suppress the fear.
“I don’t mean to be dramatic about things, Shep,” I whispered into the thick slab of muscle under my cheek. “I managed to survive the fallout once, but I had history with the Arvon staff. With the people in charge. I wouldn’t be so lucky here.”
He grunted, his breath huffing through my hair.