Forty-one
There’s a steady beeping sound that keeps drifting into my deep sleep.
Beep, beep, beep.
I try to ignore it, to force it to go away. But, it’s a stubborn fucker and just won’t quit. Eventually, it wins, successfully rousing me from my sleep. My eyes flutter open, my vision blurry at first then beautifully crystal clear.
Oakley.
He’s next to me, hand gripped tightly in mine. His eyes are closed, those thick eyelashes of his curled against his cheekbones. His hair’s a wild mess atop of his head, the strands sticking up this way and that, and there are smudges of dirt on the side of his neck and his cheek. But, he’s never looked more beautiful. Man, this is a sight worth waking up for.
I squeeze his fingers and he jolts awake, eyes bulging when he sees me staring at him.
“Ash,” he breathes, moving closer to run his fingers through my hair. “You’re awake. How— how’re you feeling? Are you in pain? Do you need me to call the nurse?”
I chuckle, slowing his rambling. “I’m just fine. A little sore and achy, but I’m good. What happened?”
I have vague memories of saving Oakley and April, stopping Chief Farrow, Oakley remembering me. Then, it all becomes a bit of a blur. It’s obvious I’m in a hospital, judging by the gown I’m wearing and the IV sticking in my arm. But, the reason I’m here is still a little foggy.
Oakley’s face falls and he ducks his head. “You… you were shot.”
“Shot?” I echo, a lump rising in my throat. “Jesus.”
“You’re fine now, though,” he rushes to add. “The doctors were able to remove the bullet and stop the bleeding. But, you’d lost a lot of blood. It was… fucking terrifying for a while there.”
“Holy shit. I can’t— I can’t believe this.” I whip my head toward him, reaching out to grasp his wrists. “Are you okay? Did you get hurt?”
He laughs, swiping away the tears running down his cheeks. “I just told you that you got shot, and you’re worried about me? Fuck, Asher. You’re…”
“I’m what?”
“A hero,” another voice cuts in from over by the door.
I turn, spotting my dad standing there, two cups of coffee in his hands. He smiles at me and— Jesus, is he crying too? He walks over, hands Oakley one of the cups and deposits the other on the windowsill before falling into the empty chair on my other side. His watery eyes search my face for a beat, seeming to catalogue every single inch, then he swallows hard.
“Are you alright, son?” he asks, his voice hoarse and not at all commanding like it usually is.
I nod. “Yeah. I’m okay.”
My dad breaks down then, a heavy sob rising from his chest as tears pour freely from his eyes. His shoulders shudder and he clamps a fist over his mouth, trying to contain the emotion. I lift my weak arms in invitation and he accepts, falling into the hug with a pained cry.
It’s… strange. I can’t remember the last time we did this. Probably when I was just a kid. But, it feels damn good. Like something I’ve been waiting for for years, like something I needed. It’s as if a tiny piece of my heart is slowly healing.
He stays in our embrace for a couple of minutes before pulling back, the tips of his cheeks pink with embarrassment as he composes himself. “You scared me half to death. What were you thinking? Going off like that by yourself? You could have gotten yourself killed.”
My eyebrows shoot up, surprised at the sudden firmness in his tone. A couple of minutes ago, I was a hero. Now, he’s pissed at me. I can’t keep up. Oakley clears his throat and averts his gaze, feigning a deep interest in the ceiling tiles, no doubt feeling like he’s intruding.
My dad sighs, the tension in his shoulders disappearing. “I’m sorry. I just… Christ, Asher. I could have lost you.”
“But, you didn’t,” I counter gently.
“You’re right, I didn’t. I can’t say it was smart, doing what you did. But, it was damn brave. You saved Oakley and April’s lives. And, I… Well, I couldn’t be any prouder to call you my son.”
My eyes burn, throat aching from the colossal-sized lump that’s risen there. I can’t count all the times I’ve dreamt of hearing him say those words. “Thanks, dad.”
He smiles and nods, then skirts his gaze between Oakley and I before rising to his feet. “I think I’ll head out for a while, give the two of you some privacy. There’s a couple of phone calls I need to make, anyway.” He retrieves his coffee cup, stopping on his way out the door to squeeze my shoulder once. “Get some rest. I’ll be back soon.”
As soon as the door clicks shut, Oakley lets out a long breath. “Fuck, that was weird.”
“What was?”
“Your dad being all nice. I’ve spent two days trapped in this room with the man, but I’m still not used to it yet.”
“Tell me about it. It’s taking some adjusting, but—” I stop, freezing in place. “Wait. Did you say two days?”
He rolls his lips between his teeth, seeming to shrink in on himself. “Yup. Two long days of sitting here, waiting for you to wake up. Your dad told me I was out for almost four, that you barely left my side. Jesus, I can’t even—” His words trail off as he shakes his head, scrubs a hand through his hair. I’m only just noticing the dark circles beneath his eyes, the wrinkles in his clothes. He stayed with me, just like I did with him. “And when I woke up, I didn’t even know who you were. Fuck, Ash. I’m so sorry.”
“Hey,” I murmur, reaching over to wind my fingers through his hair. “What the hell do you have to be sorry about? It wasn’t your fault.”
“I know. It’s just…” The sigh he lets out is so long and weighted, it feels like it’s come all the way from the depths of his soul.
I lean closer and grip him by the back of his neck, pulling him down until his forehead rests against mine. “Tell me what it was like. When you remembered, I mean.”
“It was like…” I feel his hard swallow against my skin, the flutter of his eyelashes as his eyes fall closed. “A flood. When I saw you standing there, the blood coming through your shirt, it just all came flooding back. Like a dam had burst inside my brain. All these different images hit me, one after the other. Memories. Burying my parents, moving here… meeting you. All of it. And in the space of a split-second, it was like I felt my love for you all the way down to the marrow of my bones. Like nothing else mattered but making sure you were okay, that you made it through. It was… intense.”
“Yeah. I, uh… I kind of get it. This last week, my entire body’s just been hyper-fixated on keeping you safe. My heart, my brain, everything. There’s just been this burning need running through my veins to be near you, to protect you. It was like I was possessed or something.”
He snatches up my lips in a deep, passionate kiss, his tongue moving slowly over mine. The moan I let out comes from deep within my chest, every inch of me aching for this. This is all I’ve wanted for days, all I’ve thought about. Being this close to Oakley again, feeling how much he wants me. How much he loves me. It sets my damn soul on fire. I grip his arms, hauling him closer to me, but his leg gets caught halfway over the bed and he lets out a squeak of surprise, making us both bust up laughing. It could be minutes or hours later by the time I pull myself together, tears streaming down my cheeks.
“You asshole,” he wheezes, shoving my shoulder. “It caught me off-guard.”
“Right. So, you didn’t suck down a whole canister of helium when I wasn’t looking?
He rolls his eyes, stealing my mouth for another brief kiss before he lays his cheek against mine. “How could I have forgotten you? I don’t— it doesn’t make any sense.”
“That doesn’t matter. What does matter is that we’re here, together. Free from your uncle. I meant what I said before, you know? That I want you in my life forever. Will you still come to California with me?”
“About that.” He pulls back and clears his throat, making my stomach lurch uneasily. Did he change his mind? Have I got this all wrong? He’s quiet for a beat, then must notice the worry on my face. “Don’t look so scared. This is gonna be good, I swear.”
Jesus, I’ve never felt so relieved in my life. My breath rushes out of me and I lift a hand to my chest to rest over my racing heart. “Thank fuck. You really had me worried there.”
He smiles. “If you think I wanna spend one more day of my life without you, you’re crazy. What I was going to tell you… is that, I don’t think you’re the only one who’s gonna be going to Berkeley next fall.”
My eyes bulge. “What— Are you—?”
“Your dad got me in touch with somebody from the applications department. It’s not official or anything, but they saw some of my sketches and seemed pretty excited about having me.”
“Holy shit. When did this happen? How?”
He shrugs, a grin playing on his lips. “I had a lot of free time while you were snoring away for two days.”
Now, it’s my turn to shove his shoulder. “Ass.”
“I want this,” he says, turning serious. “Us. Me and you, together forever. A proper future, where we’re both doing what we love. And since I won’t need to use my trust fund to get away from my uncle anymore, I thought we could get a place together.”
“That sounds perfect,” I croak. “Absolutely perfect.” Something dawns on me and I rush to add, “As long as April’s down with that, obviously.”
“Oh, she is. Trust me, I think she was already mentally planning what to pack before I’d even finished asking her.”
That has me smiling. The last couple of times I’ve seen April, we really seemed to have… clicked. She’s a good kid, and I’m excited to be a part of her life in a more permanent way.
I settle back into the bed, mind whirring at full-speed with all the things we need to do. “We need to start looking for a place,” I say, voice rising with every word. “And furniture and part time jobs. And schools for April, too. Jesus, we have so much to—”
“Whoa, slow your roll there, baby.” He cups my cheek, his touch calming me instantly. “We’ve got time. Right now, you just need to rest.”
I lean up on my elbows. “We have so much to figure out now, though. Like, where are you and April gonna be living now that the Chief’s gone? They’re not gonna take you away from me, right? Send you halfway across the country to live with another distant relative?”
The corner of his mouth lifts in an indulgent smile and he pushes me back down, resting his forehead against mine. “Like hell. Mrs Sanderson’s taking us in until I graduate.”
My shoulders slump in relief. “I always knew I liked that lady.”
“Don’t worry, Ash.” His mouth molds to mine, kissing me slowly and intensely, stealing my breath and robbing my brain of all thought. “They’d need a fucking army to drag me away from you. I’m not going anywhere, ever again.”
“I love you,” I whisper against his lips.
“I love you, too. So fucking much. Now, go to sleep. You need plenty of rest so we can get you home.”
It’s like those words have cast a magical spell on me or something, instantly making me feel exhausted. My entire body feels boneless, head heavy against the pillow. I squeeze his fingers, my eyes slipping shut. “You’ll be here when I wake up?”
He doesn’t even hesitate before answering. “Always.”