10. Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods
Victoria
“How long have you been up?” I murmured when I felt a slight tug at my braids. Every morning, Knox checked to ensure I had nothing crawling in my hair. I didn’t fuss about it. I was grateful to have a personal primate.
“A while,” he answered roughly.
Hours.
Knox had developed insomnia shortly after our arrival. He was always on the lookout for potential predators that would come and drag us out of our lovingly crafted hut by our ankles.
That’s what Knox calls our little shanty… lovingly crafted. The man has a way with words when he wants to.
It took three days and a shit ton of mud, sticks, and palm fronds to piece it together.
Truthfully, it took three days because we had different opinions about where to set up shop.
I didn’t think it was logical to build our shelter on the beach only to make six-hour daily trips to get water.
I voted to build our shelter closer to the water source, and Knox reasoned that we needed to stay on the beach in case a ship passed or a helicopter or plane flew over.
In my opinion, we were both right—we needed accessible drinking water and to remain visible.
“Lie down and get some sleep,” I said, pulling him down so his head rested on my chest. His arms wrapped around me tightly, and like every morning, I didn’t want to get up.
I didn’t have to wake up to inconsiderate phone calls, fight through traffic, or ensure that briefs were printed and tucked into their padfolios for a meeting, but work still had to be done. His stomach growled loudly.
“I’m so fucking hungry,” he groaned.
“I’ll tell you what my mom said when I was up past my bedtime and wanted something to eat—you can’t be hungry if you’re asleep.”
“Please don’t tell our future children that. Just call me, and I’ll make them a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,” he said teasingly. I smacked my lips and shoved him off me.
“That peanut butter and jelly sandwich might be hard to conjure out here.”
“Funny you doubt the sandwich but not the children,” he whispered, voice growing heavy with sleep.
“I am not having children by you on this island for them to come out like Donnie Thornberry.”
“Who is Donnie Thornberry?”
“Go to sleep.”
I moved to leave when he grabbed me. “Don’t go too far,” he insisted.
“I won’t.”
He nodded sluggishly before passing out and giving me some peace and quiet.
I “brushed” my teeth before leaving the hut by furiously rubbing my teeth with a piece of cloth and some coconut paste I made.
I contemplated what Knox said about children and snorted.
I didn’t see that happening. My Depo shot would only last two more months, but I doubted my body could sustain a pregnancy given the lack of nutrition and rapid weight loss.
We’d only been on the island for a month, and I had probably dropped thirty pounds.
I’m not really tripping about the weight loss because I look good as fuck, but a bitch is starving and malnourished.
We’d been surviving off nuts, hermit crabs, coconuts, and some unidentifiable-to-me fruit we found further past the waterfall.
We caught two fish, but they were both on the smaller side.
By the time the fish were cleaned and cooked, they were barely worth the work it took to catch them.
We attempted to kill a few parrots by throwing rocks at them, but we had no such luck.
Knox had also lost noticeable weight. The bulk that took dedication and early morning hours to obtain started thinning out, leaving behind lean muscles, taut abs, and single-digit body fat.
The man also needs sunscreen because he’s starting to look like a leather handbag.
I undressed, tossed Knox’s dress shirt onto the sand, and submerged myself in the ocean to relieve myself and give myself a precursory scrub down.
I rolled onto my back, floated underneath the pink and peach sunrise, and prepared for my morning devotion.
I didn’t grow up in a religious household, but I had to give thanks for the land, plants, ocean, sea life, and…
That Man Over There. I prayed for my friends, who were most likely mourning my disappearance.
I prayed for my mother’s health, and saved my little prayer for my sisters.
I hope they’re doing all right, I guess.
Finally, I prayed we were found, but if we weren’t, we were blessed with knowledge and adaptability to survive the island.
* * *
I’d been foraging for nuts in the jungle for a while when I heard a sound that made my heart pump twice as fast. I looked up and grinned when I found a bird’s nest above my head.
“Ohhhh, you precious… little… babies,” I whispered, dumping the nuts onto the ground.
I counted eight birds in total. They were young—barely past the hatchling stage, but protein was protein.
I eyed the nest that was precariously perched on the branch and drooled.
It was a lot lower than the previous nests we’d found.
“Mommy didn’t tuck you in the tree so good, huh?
” I cooed, looking for a long stick. “That’s okay. She’ll learn next time.”
I took a few steps back, mindful not to get too close to the trees because of snakes, and jabbed at the nest. My tongue stuck out as I stood on my toes and worked my magic. “Come on. Don’t fight it,” I grunted.
I grinned stupidly when the nest full of squawking baby birds tumbled to the ground.
I pumped my fist like Tiger Woods at a PGA Tour and rushed to grab the birds before something jacked our meal.
Three of the birds had died from blunt force, and three more were injured.
I snapped all their little necks with the quickness.
“Knox is going to be so happy,” I murmured, filling the nest with the nuts I’d dropped.
I ran back to the beach and started a fire. An hour later, the down feathers were scraped off; they were clean and roasting over an open flame on a skewer.
“Too bad we don’t have barbecue sauce.”
Knox
My stomach twisted in knots from the hunger I couldn’t quite find relief from. I curled into the fetal position and tried to think happy thoughts, but something kept pulling me out of my sleep. My nose twitched repeatedly, catching the scent of something delicious… like meat.
It’s just a dream. It has to be a dream.
“Knox! Wake up!” Victoria shouted. I jolted upright and nearly hit my head on our low ceiling.
“What’s the matter?” I asked, clearing the sleep from my voice as I left the hut.
My mouth dropped when I realized where the smell was coming from.
Saliva seeped out of my mouth and down my chin.
I wiped away the trail on the back of my hand and slowly approached, praying this wasn’t a figment of my imagination. “Where did… what—”
“The birds took a fortunate tumble out of a tree,” Victoria responded gleefully—the happiest I’ve seen her since we crashed.
I licked my lips and watched her divide our meal, which consisted of nuts and hatchlings.
My brows furrowed when I counted how many she intended to give me.
“I’m no Gordon Ramsay, and we don’t—Gordon. ”
“Excuse me?”
“Gordon. Is that your middle name?”
“No.”
“As I was saying, I’m no Gordon Ramsay, but I stuffed the seaweed inside the bird, hoping it’ll give it a little razzle-dazzle,” she said, handing me an elephant ear with six chicks.
“I’m not taking that.”
It was her turn to look confused. “What do you mean you’re not taking it? Is it a moral dilemma or something? Their deaths were quick and painless.”
“Why did you give me so much?”
She squinted at me and shielded her darkened face from the sun with her hand. “Because you expend more calories than I do,” she said.
“I don’t give a shit. There are eight birds. There’s no reason why we can’t each have four.”
Victoria shook her head furiously. “You need more protein and calories than I do.”
“Vic—”
She jumped to her feet. “Stop fucking arguing with me and take the fucking food! Quit trying to be so fucking chivalrous and think about the big picture! You do more manual labor and expend more energy and calories than I do. This is about survival; I can’t make it any simpler than that.
I’m a thick bitch, and I can afford to lose more weight, but pretty soon, you’re gonna be looking like Tom Hanks in Cast Away ! ”
“It took him four years to get like that.”
“I don’t give a shit. I don’t care if it took four days, four months, or four years—at this rate, I’ll outlive you, and I don’t want that!
” she yelled. Her chest heaved up and down from anger and frustration, and all I could do was stand there like a big oaf, struggling to find the words to say.
“Just… take the food, and consider it a blessing because technically, our lunch should’ve been hermit crabs, fruit, and nuts.
Don’t forget to give thanks,” she mumbled.
“Thank you,” I whispered, accepting the leaf. I sat on my log across from her and waited to dig in until she joined me. My instinct was to devour the hatchlings, but I savored them instead, unsure when I’d taste real meat again. My stomach was happy, but my soul wasn’t.
What did she mean when she said she didn’t want to outlive me?
“I think you’re better at this surviving thing than me,” I mentioned, hoping it would be enough to open the dialogue back up. I received a grunt as she chewed on an underdeveloped wing. “It’s very possible that you might outlive me. What happens then?”
She discarded the bones into a coconut bowl and motioned for me to do the same. She’d undoubtedly attempt to make stock or soup from them.
“It doesn’t matter what happens to me if you’re not here, now does it?”
“It matters to me, especially when you’re being so… so selfless. If, God forbid, something happened to me, I have no doubt that you’ll be capable of taking care of yourself.”
“It’s not about my capability, Knox. Physically, yes, I can take care of myself. Emotionally, no. I don’t want to do this alone. So, stop being such a dickhead and consider what’s best for both of us.”
I chuckled humorlessly. “I never thought I’d see the day when you’d desire to have me around.”
She shrugged casually. “What can I say? You grew on me like barnacles.”
I grinned. “May I ask you something?”
“May I say no?”
“You may not.”
“Gone ’head.”
“Why do you refer to me sometimes as That Man Over There?”
Victoria snorted, and soon, her sweet giggles followed behind it.
“I call you That Man Over There when I’m at my wits’ end with you. I’m so flustered that I don’t even want to say your name. The ‘over there’ part comes from not wanting to be near you. Hence: That Man Over There.”
“That makes perfect sense. Thank you for clearing that mystery up for me.”
We finished our sumptuous meal, and I prepared the raft for my daily scavenging adventure. I was about to shove off when Victoria approached me.
“Will you bring me back something nice?”
My heart split in two because I could hear the hopefulness in her voice and see the pleading in her eyes.
“I will.”
She nodded, and I could tell she didn’t believe a word that came out of my mouth.
And why should she?
“Here’s your water,” she said, offering me a few water bottles that were filled from the waterfall.
“Thank you. I’ll be back. Stay on the beach.”
And because it felt like the most natural thing to do, I kissed her.
She tensed but eventually returned my affection.
Besides touching and holding each other, we hadn’t been intimate since our first night on the island.
Truthfully, we had bigger things to worry about, and I didn’t want to make her feel obligated to be affectionate with me.
I figured it’d happen on its own time—when the moment was right.
This moment feels so fucking right.
I broke away first, leaving her a bit stunned, and shoved off into the water before she could call me a Dirty Old Bastard or That Man Over There.
Instead, as I rowed away, I found her smiling as she grew in the distance.
It was foolish of me to make her any promises, but I did, and I’d do my best to fulfill them.