15. Trifling
Trifling
Knox
You can do it. Just ask her. The worst thing that can happen is she tells me, ” No, get out of my face and go sit down somewhere, Knox Amadeus Ramsey.” That’s not my middle name, but to be fair, pre-crash Victoria would tell me that, but Island Wife Victoria is calmer and more agreeable.
“Are you constipated, Knox?” Victoria asked, pulling me away from my intrusive thoughts. “Because if you are, you’d better eat a mango. You’ll be squatting over a hole by lunch.”
“No, I’m not constipated. Why do you ask?”
She squinted up at me from her palm fronds-woven yoga mat and assessed me further.
“It’s your face.”
“What’s wrong with my handsome face?”
She snorted. “I didn’t say all of that.”
“What’s understood doesn’t have to be said.”
She shook her head with a small smile. “The sun hasn’t even risen yet, and you’re already on your bullshit.”
“My bullshit is 24/7, baby.” Victoria fell back on her mat and clutched her stomach while she laughed.
I plopped down beside her and patiently waited for the giggle factory to hang up their hard hats and punch their time cards to end their shift.
“Okay, that’s enough,” I insisted, straddling her.
I groaned when she ran her hands up my thighs beneath the caftan, giving them a tight squeeze.
“That’s sexual harassment, Ms. Caldwell. ”
“Shhhh. No one has to know,” she whispered, reaching up to caress my bearded cheek. “It can be our little secret. I’ll give you whatever you want as long as you say you’ll be mine. Name your price, Mr. Ramsey,” she said teasingly.
“You’d make an excellent CEO. You have the whole preying on the vulnerable employee thing down.”
“Is that what I was to you?” she questioned as her hands continued to roam.
“Everyone comes with vulnerabilities.”
She hummed contemplatively. “True. What’s your price, Knox? I know you have a son at home, crying all alone on the bedroom floor cause he’s hungry, and the only way to feed him is to sleep with your boss for a little bit of money.”
I squinted at her skeptically.
Isn’t that from a song?
It took a few seconds for me to place the lyrics.
She’s an idiot.
“No, his father is not gone and smoking crack. I want you to go on a date with me.”
Victoria’s brows tilted in confusion. “Like when we’re rescued?”
“No, this afternoon. I found this place the other day and want to show it to you. I know we don’t have basic amenities like running hot water and electricity; hell, we shit in holes and have to dive to the depths of the ocean for food, but you still deserve to be treated.
We may not be dining on Wagyu steak tonight.
Still, I can promise you lobsters fresh from the ocean without the sky-high market price and some leftover bourbon.
What do you say? Will you go out with me? ”
My heart thumped against my rib cage as I waited for her response. She chewed her lip thoughtfully as she considered my offer.
I don’t think I’ll recover if I get turned down on a deserted island.
“I have one condition,” she said.
“What is it?”
“Please ditch the caftan for our date.” I grinned and stood to my feet, ripping the comfy dress over my head. “Oh, my God. You’re such a child,” she groaned as I did a little naked celebratory dance.
“Don’t look away, Tori. Feast your eyes on perfection.”
“You better feast your eyes on some pants and a shirt if you want to go out with me,” she insisted.
“Fine. You win.”
“When do I have to be ready?”
“Be ready in two hours. We’ll skip breakfast and have an early lunch. We have a little bit of a hike to get to our destination.”
“I’ll be ready,” she confirmed.
* * *
I buttoned up the dress shirt that I wore when we crashed and rolled the sleeves up.
The shirt was a few sizes too big and seemed to hang off of me unnaturally, but it would do.
I tucked it into my dress pants, which were also ill-fitting, and stretched out the waistband to measure the size difference.
There were several noticeable inches between my waist and the stretch of the fabric.
If I had to guess, I had lost about 40 pounds since arriving on the island, and my body fat was now in the single digits. I was what you would call “sinewy.”
Sinewy and sunburnt.
We’d been on the island three months, and were eating decently now that we’d gotten the lay of the land and the ocean.
We’d rigged together lobster traps, discovered mango on the far right of the island, and I’d caught another shark, but that time, I bled it immediately, and we ate like royalty that night.
Food scarcity was no longer an issue—the land, the ocean, and Victoria’s suitcase snacks provided for us abundantly.
“Knox?” Victoria shouted in the distance.
Shit. She’s ready.
I rushed through dressing, tightened my belt around my waist, and ran my fingers through my hair before leaving the tree line with the flowers I gathered for her.
My heart kick-started when I found her standing in the distance.
She smiled at me warmly and waved, and all I could think of was how radiant she was in her white sundress.
I finally closed the distance between us and chaotically shoved the flowers at her.
As she took a moment to inhale the makeshift bouquet, I spent my time committing her luminescent vision to memory.
She wore the bulk of her braids piled high with a few curled tendrils framing her face.
She wore light makeup—eyeliner, mascara, and a clear lip gloss that made her lips look more plump and suckable than ever.
I felt myself falling, and by the time I hit the sand, it was too late.
“Ummmmm, Knox? What the fuck are you doing?”
“I’m tying my shoes. What the hell does it look like I’m doing?”
“You’re not wearing shoes,” she whispered.
Who has heat stroke now? Probably both of us, if I’m being honest, because I don’t know what compelled me to drop to one knee and propose to my volatile executive assistant.
“Victoria Diamond Caldwell.”
Her mouth gaped. “That’s not my middle name!” she hissed. I nearly toppled over into the sand from laughter.
Sure.
“Now you know how I feel.”
“I never gave you a stripper middle name, though,” she protested.
“You did call me Sharkeisha that one time.”
“I mean, it fits if you think about it. You are a shark killer.”
“That I am.”
“Are you seriously proposing to me?”
“That I am.”
Victoria’s brows raised to the top of her forehead, and she folded her arms over her chest. “What’s the matter?”
“Where’s the ring?”
“The ring? Victoria, we’re on a fucking island. Where the hell do you think I’m supposed to get an engagement ring?”
“I don’t know, but you could’ve put a little effort into this proposal.
You could’ve whittled me a ring out of wood, bamboo, or something.
Hell, you could’ve intertwined some palm fronds together.
Shit, if you really wanted me to be your wife, you could’ve hunted down an oyster and snatched me a pearl out of it. ”
Do I really want to tie myself to this woman for the rest of my life?
I tuned back in when she called me a brokie and made up my mind.
“Victoria Druscilla Caldwell—”
“Asshole,” she huffed under her breath.
“I have full function of my knees, and my mother isn’t waiting for me on the stoop after the street lights came on with a belt in her hand. Will you marry me?”
Victoria’s mouth gaped in abject horror.
“That has to be the most trifling proposal I’ve ever heard.”
“That’s the only proposal you’ve ever heard.” She squeaked and slapped a hand over her mouth. I smirked.
I love getting under her skin. She makes it so easy.
“And probably the only one you’ll ever get.”
She blew a raspberry and waved me off with your hand. “Watch, Knox. I’ll leave this island and find the man of my dreams.”
“Still me,” I reminded her.
“I said the man of my dreams, not the man of my nightmare.”
“Future Mrs. Knox Ramsey, can you just say yes already? The sand is burning my knee through these pants.”
“Yeah, I guess I’ll marry you. I have the perfect idea for a honeymoon.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s that?” I asked, rising to my feet.
“Let’s go hiking. It will—”
“No,” I responded immediately as I trudged towards her suitcase. I unzipped it and selected a piece of fabric and a hair clamp.
“What are you doing?” she shrieked when I ripped the fabric in half.
“I’m being innovative and making you a veil.”
“You ripped my bathing suit cover-up,” she accused. I shrugged.
“So? What do you need to cover up for? I’ve seen everything multiple times.
Turn around.” She complied, but not without a few under-the-breath grumbles that I knew she wanted me to hear.
“Can you shut up already? Damn,” I said as I fashioned the makeshift veil in her hair.
I spun her around and flipped the veil over her face to see if it would produce the desired effect, and it did.
“Knox…we can have a painful marriage or a pleasurable marriage. It’s your choice.”
I flipped the veil back to reveal her grumpy face.
“What if I want a little bit of both?” I teased. She was about to respond when I cut her off with an aggressive kiss. I picked up the bouquet I made for our date, shoved it in her hands, and dragged her to our “wedding venue” caveman style.
* * *
We were silent as we trudged through the jungle to the special place I’d discovered.
I threw sideways glances at Victoria as we journeyed, trying to get a read on her, but she was a blank canvas.
I wanted to ask her what she was thinking, but fear held me back.
The last thing I wanted to hear was that she wasn’t nervous or worried about our island wedding because none of it was real.
It might be a case of escapism for her—a blip of excitement to break up the monotony of wake, fuck, fish, wash, fuck, and repeat. But it was real to me.
We may not be making vows in a church before God, but one thing I’ve learned since being stranded on this island is that God is everywhere.
“You’re quiet—too quiet,” she said suspiciously.
“I could say the same for yourself,” I answered, guiding her off the familiar path that carried impressions of our feet from continuous travel. “Care to share?”
“I’m thinking of my vows.”
Well…that was unexpected.
“I see. I’m expecting something along the lines of, ‘Knox Frederick Ramsey, I’m only marrying you because you’re the last man on the planet.’”
She laughed and bumped her shoulder into mine. “Damn…now I have to start from scratch.”
“I’m sorry I stole your thunder.” I laughed.
Thunder erupted in the distance as if I had just pronounced gloom and doom on our nuptials.
We were further inland, but I could still smell the sharp, salty scent of the ocean.
It had stormed quite a few times since our arrival, and I welcomed it most times.
It was another chance to cuddle with the woman I loved.
“Do you think it’s going to rain?”
I scanned the sky, but I couldn’t see far out due to the vegetation. “Probably. Let’s get a move on.”
Another thirty minutes of walking led us to a cave.
“Yeaaaah, I’m not doing this,” Victoria declared.
“What? Why not?”
“I watched The Descent. I don’t do caves.”
“Victoria, there’s nothing harmful in this cave. Do you trust me?”
We gazed at each other while I waited for her response.
Please say yes.
“I trust you with my life, Knox,” she whispered.
That’s a better response than I expected.
“Good, because we’re kicking it up a notch. Close your eyes.”
I was relieved when she obeyed without giving me hell. I led her through the cave, and reaching the beautiful paradise on the other side only took a few minutes.
“Hey, Batman. Can I open my eyes yet?” she asked, her voice filled with anticipation.
“You may.”
She opened her eyes and her feet propelled her forward, but not before she glanced back at me. I nodded in encouragement. The gasp that left her lips was worth more than gold.
“Is… is this—”
“It’s a bird sanctuary.”
“There have to be at least fifteen different species here,” she said in awe as she ventured further into the birds’ personal oasis.
“Go explore, but don’t go too far,” I warned.
Victoria was gone in the blink of an eye.
I shoved my hands in my pockets and watched her as she cautiously tiptoed around the storks wading in a pool of water, not wanting to invade their personal space as much as possible.
My attention was distracted from her when a flock of vibrant-colored parrots flew above and perched on a nearby tree.
Thunder boomed again, but that time, it was closer.
“Victoria, I don’t mean to rush you, sweetheart, but I think it’ll rain sooner than we thought.”
“I don’t hate you. I do!” she shouted from a distance, not giving me the time of day now that she was surrounded by colorful chicken nuggets with wings.
God, what I would give to have a fucking chicken nugget.
“While I appreciate your efficiency—”
“Make sure you put that in my performance review,” she joked as she returned to me with the veil over her face. I smiled briefly.
“While I appreciate your efficiency, that is the most trifling wedding vow I’ve ever heard.”
“It’s the only wedding vows you’ve ever heard.”