30. Knoxovanni
Knoxovanni
Knox
My phone vibrated on my desk right as I tapped the golf ball into the tipped coffee mug.
I sighed and rotated the golf club in my hand, stalling for time.
I was anxious because Lorena Ramsey was a little high-strung.
She’d either welcome Victoria with open arms or dismiss her without a second glance.
The truth was, my mother would be wary of any woman after Naomi’s failed murder-for-hire plot, and she wasn’t thrilled when I told her about our engagement.
But what my mother had to realize was that Victoria was genuine and would take the direct approach and murder me with her stapler to my face.
“Here goes nothing,” I muttered, returning my putter to my golf bag and eventually joining Victoria, who was pacing in the foyer. “Amelia, can you explain to me why you made my wife cry?” I said when I noticed Victoria’s red, swollen eyes.
A gasp ripped out of her, and her phone dropped to the floor. “I-I-not me! You!” she stammered.
“Me?” I asked, pointing at myself. “I don’t see how. I’ve been on my best behavior.”
“Not you ,” Amelia responded, seeming to recover. “But you ,” she said, flailing her arms about as she tried to get her point across. “Victoria is crying because she’s overwhelmed, overworked, and underpaid.”
“Severely underpaid,” Victoria chimed in.
“Underpaid?” I muttered in disbelief. “That woman’s benefits package is through the roof. She’s overpaid if you ask me.”
“You would overlook overwhelmed and overworked,” she mumbled. “Mr. Ramsey, Victoria is in a delicate position right now. Maybe you should speak to her.”
“Maybe you should go work on your little TikTok dances, and give me and my wife a moment of privacy.”
Amelia smirked at me evilly, and I knew I’d regret poking the PR Beast later.
“I’ll be outside, waiting to receive your mother.”
Amelia left in a swirl of cotton candy perfume and glitter, closing the front door behind her.
“Just for that, she’s going to have you doing TikTok dances,” Victoria warned.
“Fuck that. I’ll pull the leg card so fast. But let’s focus on what matters. My mother isn’t that scary of a woman, you know. Back in the day, she could pinch like a motherfucker, but I’m sure her decrepit, gnarled fingers can barely grip nowadays.”
“Ramsey.”
“It’s That Man Over There. That’s what you call me when you’re cross,” I reminded her.
“You do not have to disrespect your mother to make me laugh.”
I anxiously scratched the back of my neck, feeling like a scolded child. She was right, of course.
“I apologize, Victoria. I’m a little nervous myself. I haven’t seen her in a while, and I want the two of you to get along. Seriously, I’m a mess on the inside.”
She nodded.
“I’ll be on my best behavior,” she promised.
“I know you will. Polly Pocket mentioned that you’re overwhelmed, and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t noticed, but I didn’t want to suggest that you step down from your duties because not having you by my side is—quite frankly—a terrifying thought.
I like having you near because you’re the only person in this world whom I can trust. Hell, sometimes, I can’t even trust myself.
The day goes by faster when you’re there. ”
“Why is that?” she asked curiously.
“Because I can fantasize about fucking you in those pencil skirts. As they say, time flies when you’re having fun.”
“Where’s Detective Benson and Stabler when you need them?” she commented, already tired of my mischief.
“Busy with other predators, I suppose. Look, let’s cut to the chase.
I know we have this dynamic between us. It’s unshakeable, but it’s about time we’ve learned to cut the cord before our bond does more harm than good.
It’s scary and uncomfortable thinking you’ll no longer be a shout or instant message away during the day, but it’s only six months until I’m officially out.
It sucks, but it’s for the best. We’re not on the island anymore, Victoria.
We don’t have to live each day in fear—”
“We don’t?” she interrupted. “Because sometimes I feel like I live in Gotham City.”
“Can you not interrupt my monologue? I was on a roll.”
“My apologies. Continue.”
“As I was saying—fuck. What was I saying?” Victoria shrugged.
She’s a menace!
“I was trying to be nice to you, but I see you don’t appreciate pleasantries,” I said, groaning as I pulled myself to my feet.
“My grandmother always said people don’t take you seriously unless you’re cussing them out.”
“Well, I think I will take a page from your grandmother’s book. Fuck you, Ms. Caldwell. You’re fired effective immediately, and I’ll be seeing you in couples therapy. I love you.”
The gasp that escaped her was glorious; too bad my gloating was interrupted by the front door opening.
Victoria quickly recovered.
“I swear to God, Gio. Your mom better act right because my days of dealing with difficult-to-please mother-in-laws are over.”
I grabbed her shoulders and massaged them. “Everything will be all right, Tori. She’ll love you. I promise.”
“If you say so.”
I heard Amelia animatedly talking, and the sound of my mother’s kitten heels against the floor made my stomach tie in knots.
My eyes stung from unexpected tears as I laid eyes on my mother. She looked exactly how I remembered, save for more gray streaks in her dark hair and deeper crow’s feet. She was a slight woman who stood 5’3” in stature but still appeared as strong as an ox.
“Oh, Gio. You look as handsome as ever—just like your father,” she said with outstretched hands. I grasped them gently in mine and kissed both of her cheeks before enveloping her in a hug.
“You flatter me. It’s good to see you again, Ma.”
“You, too, Gio. I’m so happy you’re home!”
She pulled away and stared up at me with brown eyes, shiny from tears. “My handsome boy.”
“Ma, I want you to meet my wife, Victoria.”
“Wife? When did you get married?” she asked, sounding appalled.
“On the island.”
She waved her hand around like she was swatting at flies—something she always did when I used to tell her something foolish when I was a child.
“If you weren’t married by a priest, then it doesn’t count,” she argued. “You shouldn’t make a mockery of marriage.”
“There were no priests on the remote island we were stranded on. This is my wife, Victoria,” I introduced, smoothing a hand down Victoria’s back.
“It’s lovely to meet you, Mrs. Ramsey. We’re so glad to have you in our home,” Victoria greeted graciously. Victoria’s broad and dazzling smile made my heart skip a beat, as it always did. My mother? Her lips were screwed tighter than a butthole.
This won’t be good.
“Hmph. Our home? This is my son’s home. Don’t get beside yourself.”
“On that note, I’ll be dining upstairs.”
* * *
I trotted behind my wife, who made a beeline for the stairs.
“Okay. Let’s hit the redo button,” I pleaded, hoping I could convince Victoria to give my mother another chance.
“I warned you, Knoxovanni,” Victoria said as she ascended the stairs.
Knoxovanni? She’s efficient. I’ve always admired that about her.
She was gone before I could try to persuade her again. I should’ve known better and taken her at her word. When she said something, she meant it.
I shook my head and left, finding my mother surveying the spread of food.
“Let’s talk, Ma,” I said, pulling out a chair and motioning for her to sit.
“Gi—”
“Sit or get out of our house,” I demanded, leaving no room for argument. My mother took my strongly worded suggestion and promptly sat with her hands in her lap and her legs crossed at the ankle.
“A very wise, loving, and caring person once told me that you should treat everyone with dignity and respect, and that person was my mother. So, you can imagine how your rude behavior toward my wife within three seconds of meeting her might make me a little unsettled.”
“I’m—”
“Let me finish, Mother.”
She snapped her lips together, and I was prepared to continue my lecture when Amelia came through with her fingers plugged into her ears.
“Don’t mind me. Don’t mind me. I’m not even here,” she proclaimed. “Carry on.”
I refrained from chewing my mother out and offered to help, but Amelia refused my assistance and quietly made a plate of food I imagined was for Victoria. She snagged a bottle of wine from the wine fridge before dashing out of the kitchen with a tray laden with food.
“I didn’t quite get who she was when she introduced herself. She spoke so fast that I couldn’t keep up. Who is she, Gio?” my mother asked, pointing in Amelia’s direction.
“The help. Let’s continue. You may not acknowledge Victoria as my wife because, as you said, we didn’t get married before a priest, but we will be married soon enough once we get our lives back on track.
I plan on making Victoria the mother of my children, and somehow, I think I can convince her to allow us to have ferrets. ”
“Ferrets are disgusting, and they smell. You should give up this obsession you have with those creatures.”
“Maybe if I had parents who loved me and bought me the ferret I asked for like clockwork for my birthday and Christmas, then I would be over my obsession.”
“You’re still overdramatic and long-winded. Please finish making your point.”
“Sure. I’ll cut to the chase. My point is that I love Victoria, and as her husband, it’s my duty to provide, protect, and all that other wholesome shit. You have to decide right now if you want to be a part of my family. If not, then it was nice knowing you.”
She gasped and clutched the base of her throat.
Look who’s being overdramatic now. On another note, I feel like a parent scolding a child. It’s euphoric, and now I realize why my parents constantly fussed at me. I can’t wait until I have my own children and can drop the D-word. Let me test it out.
“I’m disappointed in you, Ma.”
She nearly crumpled.
Yep. That hit the spot.
“May I speak?” she asked, nearly in tears.
I didn’t want to make my mother cry, but I had to let my boundaries be known.
“You may.”
“Giovanni, I apologize for behaving in an untoward manner. I have some concerns.”
“Let’s hear them,” I said, finally taking a seat when my leg began to ache.
“What do you know of this woman?”
“Everything I could possibly ever know. Trust me—a lot is revealed when you’re stuck on an island with no cell or Wi-Fi reception.”
“What if she has ill intentions towards you, like—”
“Like Naomi? I can assure you, she doesn’t, or she would’ve left me for dead on the island. What is your next concern?”
“How do you know you love her and you’re not suffering from White Knight Syndrome or something similar?”
“White what?”
“White Knight Syndrome; it’s when someone falls in love with their rescuer,” she explained.
“I loved her before I was injured. Next, and please make it interesting.”
“She’s only with you for your money.”
I rolled my eyes and reclined in my seat, elevating my leg with another chair.
“You know, I do have other shining qualities besides my wealth.”
She snorted. “If you say so.”
“Where did you get this idea that Victoria’s only with me for my money?”
She opened her purse and pulled out a glossy magazine, showing me the cover. It was a gossip rag with our faces on the front and a headline that read, Barely legal secretary snags millionaire! Inside sources claim she’s bleeding him dry!
Well, that’s a defamation suit if I’ve ever seen one.
“Gio, is what this magazine is saying true?”
“I don’t know, Ma. It looks like they also wrote an article expressing that Tupac and Anna Nicole Smith are alive and well, living their retirement together on a private island. You tell me,” I said, drawing my words. I was over the ridiculous conversation and miffed about the article.
Victoria’s my executive assistant, not my secretary. And I’m a billionaire, not a millionaire. Doesn’t anyone fact-check anything anymore?
She huffed and folded the magazine before returning it to her purse.
“May I offer a suggestion?”
“Go ahead,” she said.
“How about you put the magazines down, turn off your television, trust your son, and get to know Victoria for yourself? You might actually enjoy her. I see a lot of you in her.”
She perked up with interest. “How so?”
“You should apologize and find out for yourself.”
My mother looked ashamed of herself, and I was confident she wouldn’t cause any issues moving forward.
“Very well. I’ll apologize.”
I smiled warmly.
“Good. I’ll see if she’s up for company.”