Chapter 7 #2
God, I love my family. I love how they don’t make big deals out of things. We just talk it out. It helps that Dennis, who’s openly gay, has been in my life for nearly ten years.
“I don’t know. I’ve never wanted to kiss a guy before. Never thought about it. At the same time, I’m not sure if it’s the kiss that has me all wrapped up in knots, or if I kissed him back because he’s my childhood hero.”
Granddad nods thoughtfully. “Makes sense. Have you two talked about it?”
“Tsh, no. Let’s just say meeting someone you’ve looked up to for years can be disappointing. He’s not exactly a conversationalist.”
“Well, I think you need to decide what you want. Did you like kissing him enough to see where it goes? Or are you too irritated with him and want to forget about it?”
The wind has shifted, blowing my bangs into my face. I finger them back and shrug. “I think I’m too annoyed with him to pursue anything. It’s a long story, but yeah, he hasn’t been exactly pleasant. But it does have me… questioning things about myself.”
“He’s been gone for over two years, Wes. Not one peep about where he’s been or what happened to him. It’s all been very hush-hush.”
I give my granddad a bland look. I know this already.
“Don’t look at me like that. Something happened to that young man. You don’t just show up to the most important sports event in the world, then turn your back on it for no reason.”
There he goes. Granddad, putting reason on the table. “The thought crossed my mind, but—”
“But you got too irritated with him to ask.”
I kick at the sand, feeling guilty now. “Maybe.”
“Talk it out with the kid.”
“He’s almost thirty.”
He smiles at me before tossing his line into the water again. “Just a kid.”
“Okay, I’ll try to talk to him, but he doesn’t make it easy.”
“You’re a smart young man. You’ll figure it out.”
Something suddenly tugs on my line. “Got one!”
I reel in the fish to find the tiniest little thing that’s not even suitable to feed to a cat. “Psh… stupid fish.”
The next morning, I drive over to Dennis and Mike’s place.
Their house is so nice, surrounded by thick trees and green grass. It looks more like a cabin, with tall windows to capture as much natural light as possible. I still can’t believe they built it themselves.
As soon as I’m out of my car, Dennis sees me and runs out of his house toward me with a huge smile on his face. Just when I think he’s going to crash right into me, he stops and pulls me into a tight hug.
“Wes! Dude, you’re here.”
“Missed you, too, Den,” I chuckle.
He pulls back, his hands resting on my shoulders. “You look good, man.”
“So do you. Like the new beard.”
He runs his hand across the stubble and grins. His hair has gotten a little longer, too, and the dark brown waves spill over his ears. “Mike says he likes a beard on me, and what Mike wants, Mike gets.”
“You two are so sweet that I’m getting a toothache.”
He slides his hand into the crook of my arm and drags me toward the house. “Jealous?”
“Maybe a little. Dating is getting kind of boring. Speaking of sweet, where is Mike?”
“He’s having to take down a tree at Mr. Cunningham’s place. You know, the one who owns Kingfisher Bakery.”
“I remember.”
We step inside to comfortable furniture, the smell of burning wood from the fireplace, and coffee. I sit at the small kitchen table as he pours me a cup.
“Man, I never thought I’d see the day you’d want to find something more than a hookup.”
“Eh, hookups are still fun, but yeah, I’ve been kind of getting the relationship bug. I don’t know.”
Dennis sits across from me and sips his coffee. “So, how’s Jett? You said he’s a prick, right? Bummer.”
“He kissed me.”
Dennis blows out his coffee and gapes at me. “Shit… hang on.” He rushes to the counter and grabs some paper towels to wipe up the mess.
“Jeez, dramatic much?” I chuckle.
“Uhm, I think my reaction is reasonable. You kissed fucking Jett Cordier? Holy fuck! Damn, he’s so hot, too.” Dennis fans himself while I roll my eyes and smile at his ridiculousness.
“Settle down. It’s not like we’re dating or anything.”
“Seriously, what’d you do?”
“What do you think? I fucking kissed him back.”
He scoots his chair next to me, his dark brown eyes blown wide. “Oh, I need all the deets, stat.”
I rub my face and groan. “God, it’s so much worse than that.”
“You… didn’t fuck him, did you?”
I peek at my best friend through my fingers. “No, but… close.”
“Spill. It. Don’t leave me hanging, bro.”
I tell him everything, from all our interactions to the moment Jett made me come in the bar’s bathroom.
“Well, shit. That’s… hot.”
“It’s not hot, Den. I mean, what was I thinking?”
“Yeah, what were you thinking?”
I take a sip of my coffee before eyeing him again. “He was so… dominant, controlling. I don’t know… I just let him, and I liked it. It’s weird because I’m pretty dominant myself, but letting go like that felt… freeing, you know?”
Dennis leans back in his chair and nods. “I can see that.”
“I guess it doesn’t matter anyway. He’s an asshole. One minute, he’s being a dick, the next, he’s kissing me. I’m just getting my life started. I don’t need anyone fucking with my head.”
Dennis gives me a knowing smirk.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Not once did you freak out about him being a guy and all.”
“Oh, I am a little. Don’t get me wrong. But I’m not stupid either. I know it happens. Hell, look at Mike. He always dated women until you.”
“That’s true. But you’re Wes, Mr. Playboy. Mr. I Love the Ladies Until the End of Time.”
I shrug and take another sip of coffee. “Maybe I’m changing. I think it’s time to find myself a real girlfriend. It’s been a struggle. Who knows why?”
“You’ll find your person. Look at me. Granted, it took a good decade to get Mike, but it eventually happened.”
“Not sure if I want to wait a decade, but I get your point.”
We chat for another hour, but it’s time for me to make the three-hour drive home, so we say our goodbyes and I hit the road.
Coming back home and talking to my family and Den was exactly what I needed. While I don’t have any more answers than I did before, my head feels like it’s screwed on more straight.
I need to stop thinking about Jett and chalk up our interaction as curiosity. I’ll let finding someone happen naturally. Forcing myself to find someone is a good way not to.