Chapter 14
I’m extremely grateful to be working from home today.
I’m tired, my face is crumpled, my eyes are red, and my hair appears to have grown in different directions overnight.
Despite the glorious sunshine I see from my window, I do not plan to step foot outside today if I can help it.
I tie my hair back from my face, which I give a quick scrub to properly wake myself up.
I have no train journey, no face-to-face meetings and no lunchtime food queues where other people have the nerve to eat at the same time as me. Besides, I have last night’s leftover tuna and sweetcorn pasta which easily beats anything I could buy in Pret. I really know my way around a tin opener.
The first email I see is from Kieran, who’s also working from home. Thursday seems to be the day of choice for a lot of people; it’s just over the hump and coming back on a Friday makes the week feel quicker.
He’s sent me a link to a dodgy-looking website for watching free movies.
To: Kieran Anderson
Good morning, Kieran,
I can see why you sent this on my Gmail. You do know that this is illegal, right? You can go to jail for this. You wouldn’t last a second in prison.
Sophie
To: Sophie Smalls
Sorry, Mum.
I use a VPN, though. They’ll never catch me alive.
Saying that, not having to spend a week’s rent on a trip to the cinema is worth the possible jail time.
Besides, they have all the Indiana Jones movies I can watch instead of working.
Oh, I forgot to say, Eddie Bailey rang yesterday about ten minutes after you’d left for the evening.
He’s still not happy with the logo. You need to call him back.
Happy copyright infringement!
K
I consider drowning myself in my second bowl of cereal. I find his number on file and ready my ecstatically happy to talk to you voice before I pick up the phone.
‘Eddie, how are you?’ I ask, plastering a smile on my face, hoping that my voice follows suit.
He sniffs. ‘Bit of a cold actually, which is surprising given that I stay hydrated and follow a nutrient-rich diet.’
How can anyone be this level of boring? It’s almost impressive.
‘Sorry to hear that,’ I reply, ‘and sorry I missed you yesterday. What can I help with?’
‘So, the logo. Still not feeling it. I think it’s the blue lettering.’
‘I see. Did you have another colour in mind?’
He’s going to say red, isn’t he? A sexy, playful red.
‘I was thinking that red might be better.’
I throw my head back and mouth several expletives. Once again, this could have been an email. ‘That’s no problem. We can change that and email them over. Sound good?’
‘Perfect.’
‘Excellent, let me get right on that. I hope you feel better soon.’
‘I haven’t had a cold since 2022 but that was before I embarked on—’
I blurt goodbye and hang up. There is no escape from this man, even in my own home. His account doesn’t even bring in that much money, but predictably, Rupert pushed for it as a favour to another more profitable client.
If we ever get someone new in marketing, I’m punting him over to them with my size sevens.
I open my email tab and click on Kieran’s link. They have twenty-two seasons of Law and Order: Special Victim’s Unit. Eddie Bailey can wait.