Chapter 34
Colin
It was a mistake to visit Mom at the studio; I should have known that before we set off. I didn’t exactly expect her to do cartwheels at the sight of me, but I’m hurt by how cold she was. I can never change Ava Fantino, though. I can only change the way I deal with her behavior.
In the past, I’d have been furious and disappointed.
And then, so I didn’t have to feel that, I’d have done things that haven’t proved particularly constructive.
Changing a mindset like that takes time, and right now, I’m still furious and disappointed, but I’m choosing a different consequence.
I talk to Olive on the way home. We walk, even though it’s almost two miles and the night is cold, but it’s helping me clear my head.
There’s nothing but silence to welcome us to the apartment. Kirsten has left, Dad’s still at the office, and I’m tired. I’m so tired of this shit.
Olive takes a shower, and I wait for her in the guest room. My head is heavy. I shut my eyes, and I feel as though the bed moves beneath me, floats up, sinks down, like the plane only a few hours ago. God, I’m tired. I could fall asleep, I really could just . . .
I startle out of my doze as Olive creeps into the bed beside me and cuddles up to me.
“Go back to sleep,” she whispers. Her voice is gentle. She smells of rose shampoo and vanilla. With my last ounce of strength, I roll over and nestle into her body. Her back is against my chest; she takes my arm as I wrap it around her and starts to stroke my wrist.
“Have you eaten?” she asks, turning her head slightly toward me as I don’t answer right away. “Colin?”
“Yeah,” I murmur and feel her nod.
“Good.”
Good . . . Yes, it is good. And warm, she’s so endlessly soft and warm. The tension drains from my muscles, everything grows heavy, and I give in. I’m holding her in my arms. Nothing can happen. I’m sure of that.
Olive
Colin’s nodded off by the time I get out of the shower and lie down beside him. He blinks, opens his eyes a crack, rolls over toward me, and then he’s asleep again.
He’s not moving now.
He sighs gently and a throbbing starts between my thighs.
The weight of his sleeping body settles over me, like a warm blanket.
His chest rises and falls against my back, slowly and evenly.
I don’t need to see his face to know that it’s relaxed.
Must be thanks to the jet lag, because earlier he was so tense that I was sure he wouldn’t sleep a wink tonight.
Mind you, now I’m scared that that fate will befall me instead.
The journey was exhausting. It’s now three in the morning in Scotland, and I’m tired, but I’m nervous too. I’m lying in Colin’s arms in a strange bed. In a strange apartment. In a strange city.
We were all alone here earlier; he showed me his room, then came to mine while I had a shower, but after a while, I hear Colin’s mother and sister get in.
The guest room door is closed, it’s late, and nobody disturbs us, but I still feel like an unwelcome visitor.
Colin’s mother wasn’t unfriendly to me, but she wasn’t exactly gushing either.
I hate the idea that Colin and Cleo grew up like this.
That nobody ever gave them a hug just because.
That nobody tells them how amazing they are.
I know Colin tells Cleo, to make up for it, but he’s human too, and he deserves affection.
I interlace my fingers with his and hold tight to his hand.
I’m glad that he’s joined us at Dunbridge.
At a place where people are nice to each other and can feel welcome.
He belongs there, and I really hope he’ll manage to convince his parents to send Cleo to our school too.
God knows what will happen after what he’s planning to do.
I barely know Colin’s parents, so I can’t tell how they’ll react to him going to the police.
They might threaten not to pay his school fees anymore, but if they do, we’ll find a way.
Colin is—surprisingly—a bright lad. I could hardly believe it, but his grades are on a Henryesque level, and that’s saying something.
If push comes to shove, we can ask Mrs. Sinclair about a scholarship.
And Colin’s an adult now. He’ll be able to live his own life.
Once he’s without the people who have never shown him what love is, they’ll never be able to hurt him again. Never.