Chapter 37
Olive
It feels like we were in New York for way longer than a week when we leave the plane in Edinburgh.
It’s early morning, Dad’s picking us up, and Colin’s not entirely with it.
If I hadn’t known before, the weight that fell from his shoulders after his confession and conversation with his sister became clear when he fell asleep beside me within half an hour of takeoff and didn’t come around until our landing in Edinburgh.
Colin still seems knackered, but relieved too.
We didn’t go to his mum’s gala, which created a fuss, obviously, but his dad pointed out that Colin is an adult now and can make his own decisions.
Although I somehow doubt that he was including speaking to the police in that.
On the other hand, he didn’t tell him off when we finally saw him on my third day in New York.
He seems much nicer than Ava Fantino, but that doesn’t change the fact that he also seems to live entirely for work and isn’t there for Cleo, or Colin.
The day before our flight back, Colin had a chat with his parents about the idea of Cleo coming to Dunbridge too.
To his surprise, it doesn’t seem to have been a total disaster, but they haven’t made up their minds yet.
I didn’t wake Colin during the flight to remind him to check his blood sugar because I know the PIN to his phone, so I did it for him.
I still can’t shake off the images of Colin and the paramedics in my room, which is possibly making me paranoid—after all, he wakes up by himself if he gets low and his body lets him know that he needs to eat.
Better safe than sorry, though, in my opinion—I never want to go through a thing like that again.
Sometimes the fact that he’s easily six foot two makes it hard to believe that anything could ever harm him.
As he heaves our suitcases easily off the luggage carousel and lugs them up the stairs in the east wing when we get back to school, I really can’t imagine it.
Obviously, I insisted I could carry my own stuff, but he just ignored me and walked off with both cases.
After a week of spending every night in the same bed, it seems positively silly to go our separate ways once we get to my floor.
It’s less than half an hour before there’s a knock on my door and Colin comes in. His hair is damp so, like me, he’s had a shower, and as he pulls me close and kisses me, he smells like heaven.
“How is it possible to create so much chaos in only thirty minutes?” he asks in disbelief as we step over the clothes and shoes covering the floor.
“And I had a shower too,” I point out, tapping the towel turban on my head.
“I bet you didn’t achieve half as much in the time.
” I’m very good at showering quickly. A remnant of my time as a swimmer.
Which reminds me that I promised to help Ms. Cox out with training again from tomorrow.
I’ve had lots of conversations with Ms. Vail about that.
It’s still painful that I can’t swim yet, but it’s doing me good to be in my familiar surroundings and to help the others improve.
It’s possible that I’m even looking forward to tomorrow’s session.
And as soon as it’s been six months since the skin graft and I don’t have to avoid chlorinated water anymore, I’ll get back into swimming. To be honest, I can hardly wait.
Colin tugs at the towel, which makes it come loose and slip off my head. “Yeah, I can’t compete with you there.” He catches the towel and strokes the wet hair back from my face.
“Want me to trash your room too?” I offer, batting my eyelashes at him.
“If you want to face Sinclair afterward, be my guest.”
I roll my eyes as he hangs the damp towel neatly over the back of the chair. “Ah, come on, he’s total carnage.”
“Not compared to you, babe.”
Warmth floods my body because he’s called me that again.
I can’t let on how much I like it, no way am I letting him know, but it’s hard not to give the game away.
Everything’s hard when Colin is standing there.
My breathing, for example, and a heavy heat fills my belly as he kisses me again.
Possessive and urgent, with his tongue, which is driving me out of my mind.
“Is he back?” I gasp.
“Who?” Colin sounds kind of distracted. I love that.
“Sinclair.”
“Don’t think so.”
“Tori’s not either,” I remark.
Not many people are back yet. That’s usually how it goes at the end of a short half-term holiday. Everyone wants to make the most of their free time. The school is deserted and quiet, and that won’t change until everyone’s around this evening.
So now we’re alone. I know it. And Colin knows it too.
He makes a reluctant sound as I turn slightly away from him and look toward the door. It’s unlikely that anyone will come in, but . . . should I lock it? Do I need to, for what we’re going to do? Are we even going to do anything, or am I imagining the spark between us just now?
I must be imagining it. Hey, we only just got back from a very tiring trip. We should rest. But I don’t want to rest. I want to touch Colin and be touched by him. And not gently.
God, I want to sleep with him. Not beside him, not in his arms. I want to feel him. I’ve wanted that for so long. I’m addicted to his company and his touch, and if I don’t get more of it soon, I’m in danger of going insane.
But I’m not going to be the one to force anything. This thing between us will happen when he’s ready.
And Colin’s ready. He lets me feel that as he steps up behind me.
Close behind me. So close that my bum is touching his crotch.
He presses against me. Hard and unyielding, and I don’t care that those two words mean much the same.
My brain stopped functioning in the second that I realized he has a hard-on. Because of me. I feel kind of dizzy.
I want to turn around to him, but Colin’s hands hold me tight. Then they stroke my hair over my shoulder, and he presses his lips to my skin. I feel their heat on the back of my neck. As I rub myself slightly against him, he groans aloud. Colin leans my head back a wee bit.
This isn’t a friendly or a fleeting touch. It’s an exploration, tender but possessive. My knees soften, and I have to shut my eyes as he caresses my neck. His tongue slides over my hot skin and I burn up.
His voice in my ear is rough but strong. “Want me to stop?”
“No.” It’s hard, but I manage to keep my voice firm as I answer. “I want . . . more. I want you.”
“And I want you,” he says, turning me to face him in one quick movement. “You, Olive.” His hands hold faster to my hair, but when his lips find mine, they’re gentle, only brushing against me.
I expected something different, and the softness of his kisses overwhelms me. My stomach clenches, and I let my head sink back slightly. I melt in his hands. Colin sighs as if this is what he’s been waiting for. My pulse is racing, my skin burning, as he slowly explores me with his mouth.
He presses me onto the chair, reaches into my hair again, rougher now.
Only a wee bit, but I like it. The sweet pain as he pulls my head aside to make more room for himself.
His hot breath on my sensitive skin, his large hand gliding over my collarbone to my breast. I whimper with longing as he takes it in his hand and strokes his thumb over it.
“Harder,” I breathe, and Colin obliges. He’s doing it all at once. He’s touching my body, he’s kissing my neck, my jaw, my temples. The speed makes me dizzy; although I’m sitting down, it feels more like I’m floating.
I lean into him, but Colin presses me against the chair back and steps in front of me.
“Shut your eyes,” he demands.
I don’t want to at first, but when I do, the intensity of his touch hits me with an unexpected force. I can’t see him, can’t touch him. I can only squirm and hope he won’t stop.
His kisses grow hungrier, more urgent, wetter. He runs his lips over my jaw and down my throat, where he finds a spot that makes everything within me contract.
I lift my chin and arch toward him because I need more of it. I get it when Colin’s hand slips under my top. I’m not wearing a bra because I only just got out of the shower, and I feel his warmth directly on my skin.
“Undress me,” I whisper, my voice trembling.
I only realize what I just said when Colin hesitates. And I know what he’s thinking about. What happened the first time I undressed in front of him.
Shit. I’ve fucked up. He’s standing behind me, I can’t see his face, but I feel his hand twitch on my breast. I hold it tight and turn toward him.
His perfect lips are slightly swollen, his sharp cheeks flushed. The lust hasn’t disappeared from his eyes, but there’s a hint of panic now too.
My knees are weak as I stand up.
“Undress me, Colin,” I repeat, not breaking eye contact with him. “Please.”
He doesn’t move. He’s gone, the dominant male who presses me onto the chair and holds me there where he wants me, to kiss me. And I need him back, so I take a step toward him.
I lay my hand on his flat stomach. Colin’s eyes darken, so I move it lower. Colin takes a deep breath and his abs tense. Then I pull the hand back and reach for the waistband of my leggings.
“Or would you rather we did it together?”
He pauses a moment. He gets it.
And then he nods.
Colin
Stay calm.
Everything’s fine.
You’re not going to panic when she takes off her top. You’re not going to mess up this time.
Kissing Olive is so good that I’ve forgotten everything.
But now it’s back. The feeling of paralysis that starts in my chest and works its way up through my tight throat into my head, but I’m not going to let it.
I focus on Olive as she stands in front of me, looking me in the eyes as she slips off her leggings.
Her legs are long and slim. I want to know what it feels like when she wraps them around me to draw me closer and then spreads them for me.