Chapter 13
THIRTEEN
Brooke
Oh.
That was the only coherent thought running through Brooke’s mind.
JJ looked like she’d just stepped out of a fashion magazine with one of those wet hair looks, a soaked half-unbuttoned shirt and a half-smile that had Brooke mesmerised. Read: JJ looked hot.
Brooke dropped her eyes to the floor, realising she’d been staring. That was new. What was also new was the realisation they were wet, sweaty, muddy and in dire need of a shower.
“You can shower first,” Brooke offered. “I’ll hang out here until you’re done.”
“You sure?” JJ asked.
“Of course.”
Anything to give her five minutes to work out why she’d been ogling the painter. It was probably the rush of endorphins and adrenaline that was messing with her head. A hot shower would fix it. No need to question her reaction or picture JJ like that over and over again.
Showered and dressed, Brooke and JJ sat on the bed playing cards.
The storm rolled through the trees across their tent, shaking the entire thing with a vicious roar.
The canvas top whipped and clattered in a frenzy above their heads.
It felt like they were about to take flight any second.
Brooke hated to think how other campers in a basic tent were getting on in these conditions.
JJ was quiet. It was hard to tell if she was paying attention to the current game, so Brooke folded her cards. It took JJ a full thirty seconds to realise. Not paying attention, then.
“What’s going on?” Brooke asked.
JJ picked at a bit of fluff on the quilt. “I just feel frustrated.”
“With the game?” Brooke had won the last couple of rounds, but she didn’t think JJ would be that much of a sore loser.
“No, this.” JJ lifted her hands, gesturing to the room around them. “Being holed up in our tent. I don’t want to pivot again.”
The tent shook extra hard with another lashing of wind. The rain joined in on the fun, as if to make a point.
“JJ…” Brooke tempered a smile. “You can’t control the weather. Getting frustrated won’t make it go away, it just… is. We still got to hike—”
“That wasn’t a hike. That was a race for our lives.”
A little dramatic, but Brooke pushed on.
“Listen. We still hiked today, despite having a broken-down car this morning. We still got to see the views of the ranges and enjoy a picnic, and then we got to experience a possibly once-in-a-lifetime event of being hailed on while running full bore down a mountain—it even made you laugh. I don’t know about you, but I think that makes for a pretty cool story to tell your friends or family when you get back, don’t you? ”
“Yeah, but, I just wish we could be enjoying the outdoors now too, you know—the whole reason we came here.”
“Focus on what you can control. If you don’t want to play cards, fine. Make yourself a tea, read a book or I dunno, do something that makes you feel good.”
“Maybe I’m not that into the cards to keep my mind from wandering,” JJ said. She thought for a minute. “I can’t think of anything else, so I guess we can chat.”
“Jeez, don't sound too enthusiastic about spending time with me.” Brooke smiled, then asked seriously, “I’m curious though, where do you think these expectations you put on everything come from? The holiday, the weather…”
JJ fiddled with her hands. “I’m—not sure.”
Brooke packed up the cards as she waited. The box barely held them together; it’d seen her through many hours of waiting in airports and upturned plans over the years. Maybe she should've taught JJ how to play Patience?
“There was this one time—god, this is going to sound so stupid…” JJ covered her face with her hands.
“Back in primary school we were given these colouring books. My friend at the time was always so talented at everything they did. Halfway through the morning when I looked at her work, it was exactly as expected—a perfectly executed drawing of a seahorse. It had matching colours, all neatly shaded within the lines. I didn't think it was possible to colour that precisely as a kid. I’d chosen a shark picture and decided to colour it black. It was going to look so cool in my head.”
JJ rubbed and kneaded at her hands. “Instead, it looked like it had been attacked by a toddler using markers for the first time. It looked like shit, I knew it looked like shit, and the thing was—I’d tried so bloody hard to keep within the lines, but I was just so excited to colour in and do it fast, I’d always slip outside. ”
“That would've been hard,” Brooke said. Hearing the story, she could easily picture her brother or sister doing the same thing and placing herself in JJ's position. It was eerily similar to some of the situations she’d found herself in while growing up. Steven was particularly gifted in the drawing department. Brooke wasn’t. Obviously.
“It was. I guess that's just one example, but I compared us a lot over the years.
Wanting to be her or be better than her—I don't know—even though she was my friend.
Who knows if that's truly why I like to control situations now and want them to be perfect, or run smoothly, but I do like trying to live life within those lines.”
“Does living within those lines make you happy?” Because living that way for Brooke sure didn’t bring her any happiness living with that expectation from her parents.
“Wh—yeah.” JJ sat up, straightening her shoulders. “I mean, I think so? I like to think my precision has helped me achieve things in life like running my business and buying a house.”
“Achievement and happiness are two different things though,” Brooke said. “Do those things bring you joy?”
“Now you just sound like Marie Kondo,” JJ joked.
That was a deflection as good as Brooke’s own. She saw the boundary for what it was and backed off. At least she had more understanding.
They steered clear of any further personal topics as Brooke let JJ’s story simmer in the back of her mind.
She hadn’t expected such a simple tale to hold so much weight to this day for JJ.
Though, wasn’t that exactly what had been happening to Brooke since she’d been back?
Maybe they had more in common than she thought.
That night, Brooke’s eyes flung open in the darkness.
She blinked. Something was touching her.
Her heart pounded as she tried to figure out what was happening. Was JJ touching her? Her stomach flipped at the thought with a flash of JJ standing on the deck in her dripping clothes.
The hand was pressing itself between Brooke’s underside and the mattress, and it was… wriggling?
“JJ, what are you doing?” she whispered.
“Mmpphmmph,” JJ grumbled, the wiggling intensifying as Brooke rolled away from it and turned to face her.
“What. Are. You. Doing?” she asked again, sitting up this time, heart beating faster.
“Mmmove. You're on my phone,” JJ groaned.
Brooke’s face burned, shoulders slumping slightly. Right. JJ wasn’t actually trying to touch her.
Brooke felt around on the bed. There was no phone, only JJ's hand still flailing about. “I don't have your phone.”
“Mmkay,” came the mumbled response. JJ rolled over and Brooke was met with silence. No movement. Nothing. Only the dull thud of her heart.
“JJ?” she checked, fully awake now.
Soft snores were the only thing that came back. JJ was asleep.
The woman was sleep-talking. Not trying to touch her. Why would JJ have even been doing that in the first place? So stupid. Now Brooke lay awake, unable to sleep with the whirlwind of thoughts cascading through her mind. The storm had at least tamed, only a gentle patter of rain hitting the canvas.
After a while, she fell into a fitful sleep, that weird in between of not knowing when she was awake or dreaming.
Eyes fluttering open, the cacophony of birdlife outside the tent was a natural alarm Brooke didn’t know she needed. She pulled up the covers around her chin. It was so much chillier in the outback.
JJ was on her side, eyes open. From the look on her face, she had no idea she’d been touching Brooke last night.
“Morning,” she said through a yawn.
“You don’t remember anything do you?” Brooke asked.
JJ went to roll on her back, winced, and rolled back to face Brooke, her eyebrow raised. “About the storm?” She rubbed her eyes, one still shut. Sleepy JJ was kind of cute, and clearly not a morning person.
Brooke broke into a smile. “No, not that. Any recollection of sliding your hand underneath me last night?”
“What!” JJ squeaked, head lifting off her pillow, fully awake now, her face colouring.
“Yep. Someone decided to get handsy with me last night, but according to you, you were ‘looking for your phone’.” Brooke’s grin widened as JJ’s blush deepened.
JJ groaned, head flopping back onto the pillow.
“I have zero recollection of that. Are you sure? Ugh. Here I was thinking I was done with embarrassing myself in front of you. I’m so sorry.
” JJ’s face was so absolutely stricken, for a tiny second Brooke felt bad for rubbing it in, but she was enjoying this way too much.
“And then you rolled over and…” Brooke paused.
JJ’s eyes widened. “Oh no, what? No. Don’t tell me.” A hand covered her face, one eye peeking between her fingers.
Brooke broke out into laughter. “Nah, there was nothing else. You rolled over and snored. No more touches. Promise.”
JJ closed her eyes, hand dropping. “Thank god.” She opened them again. “I’ll speak with the front office today and try to get that twin room.” JJ got up and pulled out her clothes for the day, setting them out just so on the bed.
The pang hit Brooke out of nowhere. As disrupted as her sleep had been last night, she’d still felt comfortable sharing the bed with JJ. Their friendly companionship had Brooke at an ease she hadn’t felt in a long time.
She waved JJ off. “Honestly, it’s no big deal. It was funny. I’ve never shared a bed with someone who spoke in their sleep before.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t usually share my bed with anyone, full stop,” JJ replied.
Neither did Brooke, but she didn’t say that.
While it was a throwaway comment from JJ, it landed a little heavy between them. Maybe JJ felt safe with Brooke too?
The possibility warmed Brooke.