Chapter 22
TWENTY-TWO
JJ
It was like someone else had overtaken JJ’s body. She didn’t maul people like a lion being fed at the zoo.
JJ threw her suitcase in the roof cargo and climbed in the passenger seat, waiting for Brooke.
Previous partners were usually the ones to start anything physical; initiation was an area she struggled in, needing that deeper connection to help quiet her brain, keep her present and awaken that assertiveness inside. To find that trust in the other person.
She had no idea what she was doing with Brooke, this playing around—though clearly Brooke had been enjoying herself.
Feeling her arch off the bed had set JJ into overdrive.
She was thankful Brooke had cut things off in the end, or she wasn’t sure she could’ve.
But she wasn’t ready for more—not yet anyway.
The fact she’d started contemplating the possibility of more with Brooke was… confusing.
Brooke hopped in the car and they set off. It was weird not to be driving, making JJ feel a little out of sorts.
“Sure you don’t want me to drive?” JJ asked, knee bouncing.
Brooke flicked the indicator on to change lanes. “It’s fine, I got this. You relax.”
JJ couldn’t relax. Everything itched around Brooke this morning.
This holiday fling had her both antsy for more and a little uncertain.
Yeah, she’d asked for all this, but now JJ had time on her hands—thanks, Novelty effect—her mind raced, and her knee bounced: At the possibilities of touching her again, the fact they only had less than a week left of their fling and…
what that meant for them once it ended. So many thoughts she had no concrete answers to.
Maybe she could organise her emails? No, she was on bloody holiday. That’d only open up a can of worms. She bit her lip and looked out the window.
A hand landed on her bouncing knee and squeezed.
Her knee stilled. JJ stared at Brooke’s hand.
“You good?” Brooke asked.
“Huh? Yeah.”
Her leg tingled under Brooke’s touch.
“Why don't you put some music on?” Brooke started pressing buttons on the car’s head unit.
“Paired—rolled the nipple between her thumb and—”
JJ shut off the audio, eyes wide. Not again! Where was the eject seat button in this car? JJ's face heated. No words.
“You don't have to turn off your naughty lady books on account of me being here.” Brooke's grin widened, her hand returning to JJ’s leg.
JJ gave her a look.
“I'm serious,” Brooke continued. “We’ve got a long drive ahead of us, might as well put something on. I usually listen to podcasts and stuff while travelling, so I’m happy to see what these books are actually like. You’re always trying to make me listen anyway.” Brooke winked and chuckled.
JJ gave it another moment, but Brooke waited.
“Okay,” JJ said. “But let me pick something from the start—one of my good ones.”
Once the soothing tones of her favourite narrator came through, JJ relaxed. Apparently, it was exactly what she needed.
Brooke’s hand didn’t leave her leg the entire ride.
And neither did the tingles.
Deep Creek was a windy location, atop cliffs that sunk into the dark ocean below.
Rolling green hills stood proud the entire length of the coastline.
South of Adelaide, this area was known for its harsh winds, heavy rains and lush but rugged environment.
Their camping spot was nestled in a small clearing, enough to fit the tent and car with a little privacy from other campers.
Brooke knew how to balance the accommodation well with a mix of comfortable sleeping arrangements, then nights like tonight, roughing it a little.
They’d set up their tent, a simple four-person dome, so they had enough room to stand inside with ample storage space left over. Thankfully, there were also flushing toilets and hot showers nearby—no long drops in sight!
Brooke had planned another day hike, and this time she’d triple checked the weather before leaving to make sure there were no storms on the horizon.
JJ was thankful for the attention she put into the trip.
She was constantly checking, updating and tweaking as they went.
It made JJ realise how much time and effort truly went into organising travel, and it reiterated how good her choice had been to bring Brooke along, leaving all those decisions to her.
Thank god. If she’d cancelled way back at the start and had that home holiday, she’d never have gotten to know Brooke. Her gut twinged at the thought.
JJ led the trail today, and it felt good to be in control of something again—even something as simple as a circuit hike to try and get that head of hers cleared.
“There’s a waterfall just up ahead,” JJ said, a third of the way into the walk.
It had rained the day before, and fresh petrichor still clung to the air.
They rounded a corner, heading up a steady incline to a spot overlooking the falls.
The roar wasn’t too loud, and the soft spray that reached them was refreshing after the long walk.
They sat on an overhanging rock, legs dangling and thighs touching. Snack time!
“JJ, how many boxes of BBQ Shapes did you pack?” Brooke asked, incredulous as JJ opened the packet between them.
“I didn’t hear you complaining every time I saw you shoving a handful in your face.”
Brooke poked out her tongue. “That’s not an answer.”
“Well, it’s personal and I don’t want to tell you.”
Brooke chuckled, digging her hand into the box. “Good practising.”
JJ didn’t think any amount of practice would really help her when it came time to try standing up for herself. Her family meant everything to her, so offending them was the last thing she wanted.
JJ stole a biscuit out of Brooke’s hand and winked. “So, have you thought any more about Hayley?”
Instead of shutting down, Brooke considered the question.
“It’s been gnawing at me since we spoke.
I finally feel like I have a way of communicating that might lead to some sort of resolution.
That feeling is… liberating. Or at least, writing out what I want to say feels somewhat achievable.
I’ve been trying to come up with things in my head on our walk.
It’s dredged up more memories, but I’ve started to see them differently. ”
“Oh?” JJ leaned back on her hands, the warm, rough rock prickling into her palms.
“I think I’d been ignoring how much Hayley used to do. Not just for me, but for herself and Steven too. Well, maybe not ignoring… I didn’t see it.”
It was refreshing to hear Brooke revisit her past without the emotional burden overtaking her.
“Really? Like how?” JJ asked.
“There was this one time I remember sitting down for dinner and Hayley looked exhausted. Mum and Dad were out at a gala for the night, and Hayley was meant to be finishing up a uni assignment. I’m not sure how much study she did between washing our clothes, shopping for food, and cooking us dinner—because Steven wasn’t about to get off his arse and cook.
” Brooke rolled her eyes and munched on another biscuit.
“At the time I’d been thinking—of course Hayley can do it all.
Even when our parents are away, she’s still got it all together.
But… I never stopped to consider if she wanted to take on that work, to make sure the house ran smoothly when our parents were out or interstate. How did that make her feel?”
JJ folded in her lips and shook her head. She couldn’t imagine being in that position with that kind of pressure. Her family and upbringing were so different.
Brooke brushed a few stray crumbs off her lap and continued, “I’m honestly not sure I could’ve seen her side at the time, I was too in my own feels.
Now, coming back home and heading away again so soon has me questioning everything.
There’s a lot to unpack. I just hope Hayley is open to talking about it. ”
“Well, time will tell. All you can do is ask.” JJ wished she could give Brooke the answers she sought, but this was her journey. Who knew what the future held?
The trail from the waterfall to the coastal cliffs was quiet and contemplative.
That was the beauty of hiking, the brain had time to process.
Instead of a million to-dos or distractions, each simple step in front of the other allowed for past memories and thoughts to collide with what-ifs and maybes of the future.
And after their recent conversations, they both had a lot to work through.
JJ’s ability to think abruptly halted as the path led them to a particularly steep climb.
Brooke took the lead on this section, her manoeuvrability and skill a notch above JJ when it came to finding the right hand and foot holds to use.
She constantly checked back to see if JJ was okay, offering her hand a few times to help climb up some particularly precarious spots.
By the time they reached the top, JJ’s back was drenched and her chest burned, but they’d made it.
Brooke gave her a lazy smile.
“What?” JJ asked.
Brooke took a step closer. “Nothing. You look cute, is all.”
JJ poked a tongue into her cheek. “I doubt that. A drenched, sun-baked rat is probably more accurate.”
Brooke closed the gap, and JJ sucked in a breath as Brooke planted a kiss straight on her lips. Sunblock and sweat filled her senses.
“Disagree.” Brooke turned on her heel and continued down the now very, very steep slope on the other side.
JJ couldn’t stop the smile that followed. She touched her lip where it still tingled.
Moving to follow Brooke, she caught a glimpse of the path down below. Well… the not-path. The trail disappeared straight into a large body of water.
“Uh, Brooke. We have a problem.”
Brooke swivelled on a rocky outcropping, one foot still in the air as she searched for what JJ was pointing at.
“Do we need to turn around?” JJ asked. It was going to be more difficult to backtrack, and she was so exhausted. They’d even run down one of the previous declines; it was so steep.
“Why?” Brooke asked.
JJ gestured wildly in front of them. “Oh, you know, just the entire ocean coming in through the mouth of the cliffs and covering our path.”
“Easy,” Brooke replied, continuing her descent. “We just wade through it.”
“What!” JJ squeaked.
“It's not that deep. A little water never hurt anyone. It's gotta be better than getting hailed on.” Brooke lifted an eyebrow.
“But I didn’t bring a towel. I’ll get sand everywhere.” Despite her argument, JJ started the climb down.
Once they reached the edge of the water, it stretched further than she expected. “We can honestly just turn back—”
“JJ. Just take off your damn shoes,” Brooke said, stuffing a sock in her already-removed boot.
JJ made a face but obliged. Her toes sunk into the warm sand. Brooke stepped into the water, having rolled up her pants over her knees.
JJ took a deep breath. Here goes nothing.
“Fuck, that's freezing!” She froze in the ankle-deep water.
“The faster you walk, the faster you’ll be across,” Brooke said.
She waded back and grabbed JJ’s hand. It was slightly sandy, giving JJ the urge to wipe her hands.
Let it go. She blew out a breath, following Brooke and hissing with each step as it deepened.
The water was a muddy brown from the waves pushing into the mouth of the outlet and flowing back out to the ocean.
With her free hand, she held her shoes above the water as it hit their knees.
They paused, finagling their pants as high as they could go.
“Okay, so it's a little deeper than I thought,” Brooke confessed, grabbing JJ’s hand back to continue on.
“Well, it's a little late now!”
JJ shrieked as a small, cold wave hit the back of her knee.
“Well, when life gives you lemons…”
“You turn into a lesbian?” JJ quipped.
“No, JJ, you keep going!”
“That doesn't even make sense.”
“You don't make sense.”
“I make perfect sense. I’m a lesbian aka—a lemon.” JJ grinned proudly.
Brooke sputtered out a laugh and pulled her along. “I think we have heat stroke; we’re losing our minds.”
“You can’t have heat stroke if you’re knee deep in freezing-arse water. You just need better sayings that make sense.”
“I’m not justifying that with a response. And I’ve never heard of a lesbian being called a lemon.”
“That’s because you haven’t spent enough time back in Straya.
You’re losing touch with the slang, mate.
Gonna have to take your Aussie card off ya.
” She went to laugh but yelped instead. Her toes sunk into a particularly deep patch of mud-like sand, the cold water hitting her bare thighs and licking at her pants.
“Jesus!” JJ cried.
“I’ve got you.” Brooke gripped her hand tight, pulling her up and preventing her from getting drenched.
“That was close, thanks.”
Turns out they’d crossed the halfway mark, their wading steps getting surer and steadier as the water line dropped. Any deeper and JJ would’ve turned back.
“C’mon, you lemon. Let’s get you on dry land.” Brooke said, pulling JJ along by their still joined hands.
“What—you don’t like a wet lemon?” JJ cocked her head.
“Oh my god, stop.” Brooke laughed.
JJ tugged her in close and kissed her instead.
Brooke’s unbreakable smile against her lips was everything.
JJ still had a lot of unanswered questions about their relationship, but one thing she knew for sure: not only could she and Brooke have the heavier talks, they could also have a hell of a good time together.