Chapter Thirteen
JULIA
“Julia Lynn Harper, what did you do?” Mandy demands as she sits in the chair across from me.
Uh oh, middle name activated.
Sitting in the middle of the Bean There, Brewed That café, I thought I was safe from any and all accusations about Lucas.
I was wrong. So very wrong.
I was also hoping it wouldn’t be noticeable that we haven’t really spoken since getting home from the concert. I guess showing up at the farmers’ market by myself yesterday was a dead giveaway that the road trip didn’t go as planned.
So now, I’m sitting here in the town’s café with at least a dozen listening ears, making it a sure thing that whatever I say in the next five minutes is going to be spread across town before I’m finished my coffee.
“I got you your favourite latte,” I say in an overly sweet sing-song voice, sliding the mug and saucer across the table to her. “And a plate of baked goods. I’ve asked Lily to bring over an assortment of whatever she has.”
“Stop avoiding me and tell me what happened on your trip. Why is Lucas avoiding everyone?”
“Is he? I haven’t noticed.” I lean back, trying to look around the counter. “I wonder what’s taking her so long. You’d think she went over to Sugar Haven herself to get more treats.”
“Julia!” Mandy hisses at me through her teeth, a puff of smoke nearly escaping with every word. “What. Happened. In. Vancouver?”
I let out a huff, dropping my shoulders. I guess I’m not getting out of this one.
“Nothing?” I wince as I say it, knowing very well she’s not going to let that one go.
“Don’t do that to me. You know I’m not buying it.” She glances at her coffee for a second—longing in her eyes—before crossing her arms over her chest. “And I won’t be bribed or distracted. You’re telling me what happened.”
I dart my eyes, trying to subtly tell her that Janice at the table next to us is leaning over so far to listen, she’s nearly out of her chair, but Mandy gives me a shake of her head.
I’m really not getting out of this.
“You know that if you don’t say what happened, everyone’s going to make something up and spread that around. Which one would you prefer?”
I wince, bringing my hands up to cover my face. “Ugh.”
“You know I’m right,” Mandy says. I can hear the smirk in her voice.
I sigh before dropping my hands to my lap. I lower my voice, even though I know it won’t do any good. Everyone in here has stopped pretending like they aren’t listening in. “I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? Something must have happened.”
“I mean, something happened, but…” I pick at my neon nail polish, flashes of our ’90s-themed weekend flying through my brain. “I don’t know how to explain it.”
“Start from the beginning,” Mandy demands before giving in and grabbing her coffee. She takes a sip and briefly closes her eyes with a slight smile before seeming to remember she’s supposed to be the “bad cop.” She leans back in her chair but still holds onto her coffee.
“You know how everyone always thinks that Lucas and I are together?”
“Yes, that’s nothing new. That’s happened since high school,” Mandy says, giving in to another sip.
“It happened a few times again…” When I don’t elaborate, she gives me the mom-look.
“It happened a few more times, including at the concert where the woman next to us thought he was my husband, and he got all weird and left for a bit, but then we had a moment, and then we were stranded in Candy Cane Creek and Cassie and Jacob thought we were a couple, and Cassie told me about them and that I’m blind and that Lucas is in love with me, and I panicked.
” The words come out of my mouth so fast, I’m not sure if they were even able to be understood.
I’m out of breath, my heart is racing, and it feels like I have a thin sheet of sweat on my forehead.
When did it get so hot in here?
Mandy looks blankly at me, wide-eyed, unmoving.
I hear a gasp from the other side of the room.
If I’m not mistaken, I hear someone utter, “finally,” but I don’t look.
My eyes are fixed on Mandy and her reaction.
She’s known me as long as Lucas has. She’s been around to see Lucas and me from the beginning.
Whatever Lucas and I really mean now.
“You went to Candy Cane Creek? Without me?” she finally says.
My head moves back, eyes blinking. “That’s what you have to say to all of that? Candy Cane Creek? That’s what you take away from all of this?”
“Don’t tell me you got one of the Holly Jolly Latte’s.” She sighs. “You know how much I’ve wanted to try one of those. Ooh, did you go to Mrs. Claus’ Bakery? That article said how good their sugar cookies are.”
“Mandy! Focus! We’re talking about Lucas and me.” I snap my fingers in front of her face, breaking her food-induced trance.
“I heard that, Mandy! Remember, you told me how much you love my sugar cookies!” Erica, the owner of Sugar Haven Bakery, shouts. I turn to find her behind the counter, hands on her hips.
“And how my lattes are the best,” Lily says, taking a similar stance next to her.
Looking around, everyone in the café has their eyes focused squarely on us.
“Oh, stop.” Mandy waves her free hand at them, unbothered.
“You know I love both of you and your goodies, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to try some from the Candy Cane Creek.
If I remember correctly, you were both wanting to go there to see how they make theirs. You remember that, don’t you? Hmmm?”
I love her confidence.
I want to be Mandy when I grow up.
Lily and Erica don’t say anything, but instead, roll their wrists in a “hurry up” motion.
“The reason I never said anything about you and Lucas is because there isn’t anything to say.
You haven’t told me anything new. So, what made Lucas turn into a hermit?
What did this Cassie say exactly? And if it was over a Holly Jolly Latte, I don’t want to know about that part.
You and I are going to go back there this winter, and you will pretend as if you’ve never had one in your life, kapish? ”
“You got it, dude,” I reply with a chuckle.
“Good, now that’s settled; what did Cassie say?”
“She said she and her boyfriend Jacob, who owns the inn, were friends their whole lives, and she never saw it. It took until the whole town pushed them together before she realized how she felt.”
“And?”
“And I, uh, said that Lucas and I were nothing like that, and we can’t be anything like that. And Lucas overheard.”
Another gasp from the other side of the room.
I turn around in my chair, narrowing my eyes at all the onlookers. “It’s not like it’s a secret that we’re just friends! Why can’t a man and a woman just be friends?”
“Men and women can, just not you and Lucas!” Mary shouts from the table in the corner.
“Mary Williams, are you recording this?” I huff.
“No, I’m live streaming it. You have five people watching!”
“Ugh! I can’t with this town!” I turn back, putting my hands back over my face.
“Go back to that can’t part,” Mandy says, ignoring everyone else. “Why can’t you two be together?”
“Because it’s Lucas and me.” I drop my hands. I’m pouting, and my voice is whiny, but I don’t care. I’m tired of talking about it. I’m tired of people not understanding.
“And?” Mandy asks, frustration creeping into her voice.
With the coffee shop and likely a good portion of the town listening in, I may as well get it out in the open so everyone can leave me alone.
“And what if something happens? What if it doesn’t work out, and then I’ve lost not only my boyfriend or husband, but my best friend? My person? Then what do I do?”
I fight back tears as the words leave my mouth. Years—decades—of pent-up feelings come rushing out. But I won’t let them go here. Not with this audience.
Mandy’s shoulders drop, her face softening as she looks at me. Placing her mug on the table, she leans over and places her hands on mine. “But what could you gain?”
“Love!” someone shouts.
“Freedom!” yells another.
“Pinehavener516 says you two need to have your first kiss in the town square so everyone knows you’re official,” Mary adds.
“Mary!” both Mandy and I shout, exasperated.
“What? It’s what the people want,” she yells back.
I shake my head, looking down at Mandy’s hands on mine.
“Do you love him?” she whispers.
I close my eyes, shaking my head. “I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do. You’re just too afraid to admit it.”
“What if I’m wrong?” I don’t try to hide the tears in my eyes, not from Mandy.
“I don’t think you are. I think you just need to admit it to yourself.”
“And if he doesn’t love me?” I ask, afraid to hear the answer.
“There isn’t a chance in this world that man isn’t head over heels in love with you.”
“Really?”
“Julia, that man has been in love with you since the day he knew what that meant. Heck, probably before that.”
Realization dawns on me that I’ve avoided this for too long.
So long, in fact, that I may have missed my chance.
Deep down, I’ve always known that Lucas might want more than friendship with me, but he’s never tried or pushed the issue when other people bring it up.
He’s always avoided or laughed it off, much like I have.
But is that also because of me? Is it because I didn’t give him a chance?
Can I give him a chance now?
“I still don’t know, Mandy. What if I lose him for good?”
“Let me ask you this: Is there a side of you that Lucas hasn’t seen? I’m not just talking hair up, no makeup, answering the door in your pjs. I’m talking the real side of Julia Harper.”
Thinking back, I don’t think that there’s any side of me that he hasn’t seen.
He’s the one I share my best and worst days with.
He’s the one I run to when I have exciting news to share or call to vent because something upset me.
He’s slept on my couch when our movie marathons have run too late, or with the adjoining hotel door open when I’m scared of old heaters.
He’s the only one who truly knows me.
What if everything I thought I was doing to let him in as my best friend was really me loving him as more than a friend? What if I’ve suppressed so much of what I truly want because of what I’m too scared to have?
Is that why I noticed Lucas in a backwards cap? Or how good he felt with his arms around me at the concert?
Have I been sabotaging myself?
“That’s what I thought,” Mandy says with a knowing smile. “The question now is, what are you going to do about it?”
“What if it’s too late to do anything?” A new sense of panic rushes through me.
“Julia, he’s waited over twenty-five years. You aren’t going to scare him off in a weekend.”
“But what do I do?”
A wide—and mildly concerning—smile spreads across her face. “I know, and we’re going to get the town to help you do it.”
Uh oh—now that sends a shiver down my spine.