Chapter 3 #2
So, now I need to try to persuade my Frequent Flowers Club friends to help me with the séance.
Mornings at eleven, those of us who are at the crematorium usually meet for a drink in the café.
As it happens, most of us are here today, which is great, as I need all the help I can get.
I’m a bit nervous about bringing up the subject of the séance, but I’m so desperate to contact James, I know I’ve got to find the courage somehow.
Sarah brings over a large plate of freshly cooked Welsh cakes – Sarah’s from Swansea and she makes the best Welsh cakes I’ve ever tasted.
Everyone’s gone quiet as they all tuck in to the warm, sugary, cinnamon-flavoured discs.
This is the perfect opportunity for me to get everyone’s attention. But what do I say? Okay. Here goes.
‘So, I’ve been thinking of holding a séance. Do any of you happen to know anything about that sort of thing? And would any of you be willing to help me?’
Well, that certainly got their attention. I’m sensing a bit of a mixed reaction. Shock? Disbelief? It’s hard to tell. They’ve all stopped eating and are just looking at me. Then Olive stands up and comes over to me. She puts her arms round me and gives me the warmest of hugs.
‘That’s a lovely idea. Of course you want to try to reach out to James. And of course we’ll help you.’ She looks eagerly at the others for back up, and although they’re still looking a bit surprised, maybe concerned, they all immediately start nodding and adding their agreement.
‘Oh, thank you, thank you so much! I can’t tell you how much this means to me.’ I’m so relieved to have their support, I could just burst into tears. But now I’ve broached the subject, I want to talk a bit more about it, so I have to pull myself together.
‘So, has anyone done anything like this before?’ I ask.
Mostly blank looks, shaking heads, but Janice shyly raises her hand a little, almost as if she’s back at school. I look at her expectantly.
‘I did, a long time ago, shortly after George died.’
Everyone is looking at her, intrigued. If there was one person I wouldn’t have expected to have been involved in a séance, it’s Janice.
From the looks on their faces, I’m guessing the others thought the same.
Janice is a small lady with wavy, silvery hair, quite reserved, but with the loveliest smile, one of those rare, sweet people who do a lot more listening than talking.
But now poor Janice, reserved as she may be, obviously feels obliged to explain herself.
‘I was devastated when he died. It was all so sudden. It wasn’t as though I had a chance to prepare myself for it.
’ She looks at me. ‘Well, you know what that’s like, don’t you, sweetie?
It’s not easy.’ I’m nodding, a lump in my throat now.
I realise I don’t actually know how George died.
I’m just wondering whether it’s too nosy to ask now, whether it’s better to wait for a quieter moment, when Bob pipes up.
‘I’m so sorry, Janice. I feel like I ought to, but I don’t actually know what happened to George.’ The curious looks on everyone’s faces suggest that Janice hasn’t shared this story with anyone.
‘But don’t feel you need to tell us. I’m ever so sorry, Janice. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot.’ Bob is obviously feeling bad now, his usually smiley face has gone a bit flushed and has an anxious look.
‘It’s fine, Bob, please don’t worry about it.
It’s many years ago now, twenty-three, in fact.
George was a good bit older than me, but he was still only sixty-four, and I was fifty-one.
We thought we had a lot of years ahead of us.
And then one day he had a stroke, and a few hours later he was gone. ’
There are murmurs of sympathy around the table, and Olive puts a comforting hand on Janice’s arm.
Janice continues, ‘I just didn’t know how to deal with it. And I went into denial for a long time. I just couldn’t accept he was dead.’
Lots of sympathetic nods and noises. We’ve no doubt all been through that phase. Some days I feel like I’m still in it.
‘When I did eventually start to accept it,’ Janice continues, ‘I was desperate to try to contact him, to communicate with him. So that’s why I was willing to give the séance a go. Even though most people I knew would have been horrified if they’d found out.’
‘And did it work?’ I can’t help asking eagerly.
‘Well, it’s hard to say for certain. These things are very open to interpretation. But yes, I do believe I communicated with George a number of times. And it helped me to become more at peace with the situation, believing he was safe, in a better place.’
‘Oh, wow! That’s amazing!’ I’m almost breathless with emotion. ‘Do you think you’d be able to help me set up a séance, Janice?’
‘Well, I’d have to look into how to do it. I just joined the ones I went to, I didn’t organise them. But yes, sweetie, of course I’d do anything to help you.’
I go over and give her a huge hug, and now I can’t help letting a few tears fall.
‘We’ll need a few people, it can’t be just the two of us,’ Janice adds.
‘Well, you just tell us what you need us to do, and we’ll be there for you,’ says Bob firmly, with the rest of the group all nodding and murmuring agreement.
‘Oh, thank you, thank you, so much. I love you guys. I honestly don’t know where I’d be without you. Group hug?’ They used to laugh at me for this suggestion (kindly, but they’d laugh nonetheless), but it’s become one of our things now.
And this wonderful group of people works its healing magic again.