Chapter 26
James: She’s The One
It’s chess night again, and we’re in the snug, bottles of beer in hand, but The Boss seems distracted. I’ve just taken his second knight in a very obvious move which he somehow failed to predict and prevent.
‘James, mate, you need to do this.’
‘Do what?’
‘Go on the date with Andy and Maia, and one of her friends – was it Talia?’
‘Impressive – I didn’t expect you to remember their names.’
‘Aha! You thought I wasn’t paying attention there, and really I was. But don’t go trying to change the subject.’ He gives me a mock stern look. ‘James, it’s pretty damned obvious, you need to go on a date. You can’t put it off forever.’
‘I don’t need a girlfriend. I’m fine being on my own.’
‘That’s what Amy says – she’s fine being on her own. And all the while she’s convincing herself she’s still with you.’
‘Yeah, but it’s different for her – she’s back there where she needs to have a life. She was the one for me, and I don’t want anyone else. Besides, I’m busy right now, got a lot on with the bi— well, you know, with one thing and another.’
Shit, that was a close one. Nearly gave away the whole bike thing there. He’s looking at me slightly suspiciously now. Or maybe I’m just imagining that.
‘So, here’s the deal. I’ll do what I can to get Amy to start over, but only if you agree to go on a date with someone, one of Maia’s friends, whoever, it really doesn’t matter. Just make the effort and go on a date.’
‘Ah come on. Really?! What difference would it make?’
‘Well, I suspect you two – you and Amy – are more connected than you think.’
‘Meaning?’
‘Well, it’s not just that medium who gave the game away.
It’s all very well you sending your messages through the app, but let’s face it, your heart’s not in it, and it seems to me she’s picking up on that.
She’s basically getting mixed messages from you.
I know you keep complaining that the app doesn’t work very well for you, but it’s never going to work anyway if the messages don’t get through with the right energy.
You can tell her to move on till you’re blue in the face, but if she’s instinctively sensing that you’ve not moved on either, it’s not going to help matters. ’
‘So, can’t you just switch off her instinct or something?’
The Boss gives me a disparaging look.
‘You really don’t get the whole instinct thing, do you?
I can’t just switch off instinct. It’s like this great big, huge force.
It’s not confined to one individual, is it?
Instinct is in everyone, humans, animals, everything.
If I switched it off just like that, the world would be in complete chaos.
Just imagine it. Baby kangaroos not knowing to get in their mum’s pouch as soon as they’re born, and those cute little newborn sea turtles not knowing to make their way down to the sea, and salmon not knowing to swim halfway across the world to eat and then go back again – yeah, actually that is quite a weird one, that one.
Anyway, you know what I mean, it would be chaos!
So, no, I’m not switching off instinct just so that you don’t have to go on a date. ’
I scowl at him, but I can see he’s got a point.
I’m well aware I’m not being rational. I know I’m digging my heels in like a mutinous child, but going on a date with anyone other than Amy just feels so wrong.
The thing is, I’m happy as I am. In a way.
What with the bikes and our quiet little cycling club and the band and everything.
And time passes differently up here – you’re not constantly aware of it like you are on Earth.
Besides, Amy’s going to get here eventually.
Not that I’m trying to rush that. Really I’m not.
But obviously everyone comes here eventually – well, that or the other place.
So one day she’ll be here. And it’s not fair for me to get into a relationship with another woman.
Because I just know that the minute Amy gets here I’m going to want to be with her.
Perhaps I can just pretend to go along with it. If I nod obediently then maybe we can drop the subject and get back to playing chess.
‘Your turn, Boss.’
‘James. Do you love Amy or not?’
Okay, not dropping the subject then. ‘Yes, of course I do.’
‘So, that’s settled then. You’re going on this date.’
‘Okay, okay, I’ll do it. I couldn’t care less who it is – you can choose.’
He shakes his head, apparently in despair at me.
‘Dear, oh dear. That’s not really the attitude, is it? Going to need a bit more enthusiasm than that.’
‘I’ll go on the date, but I can’t pretend to fall in love. I might not even like her.’
‘Of course you’ll like her. It’ll be a match made in heaven. Literally.’ He chuckles.
I give him a ‘please stop doing dad jokes’ look.
‘You never know. You might fall head over heels for her.’
Like that’s going to happen. There’s no way I’m going to fall for someone else. But it’s no use arguing with The Boss.
‘And you’ll definitely set Amy up with a new bloke? Get her to fall in love again?’
‘I’ll do what I can.’
‘Not exactly a cast-iron guarantee, is it?’
‘Well, you know I can’t absolutely promise—’
‘Even though you’re—’
‘Yeah, I know, I know, omnipotent, omniscient and so on and so forth. You and your blinking omni- this and omni- that. Have you never heard of that inconvenient little thing called free will? I can’t control absolutely everything you guys do.
Believe me, it would look a lot different down there if I could.
If there wasn’t free will, there wouldn’t be people committing murder, for one thing, or people hurting animals, or people dropping litter or—’
‘People riding bikes?’
‘Exactly.’ He chuckles. And if there wasn’t free will up here, I’d have an awful lot less trouble from you.’
I pull a face. I don’t mean to be giving him hassle, it’s just sometimes we don’t completely see eye to eye, and sometimes he needs a bit of a nudge to do what I need him to do.
‘But like I say, I’ll do what I can,’ he says.
‘And you’ll make sure it’s someone good? Someone who’ll treat her right? The last thing she needs is to get hurt all over again.’
‘I’ll make sure it’s someone good. I have someone in mind.’
‘Who?’
But The Boss shakes his head and taps the side of his nose.
‘All in good time, my friend.’