Apricot

Chapter 9

APRICOT

I sat out on the balcony with one leg folded underneath my bottom and a glass of wine in my hand.

Staring out into nature usually calmed me.

I loved the water and at the moment, even though I had a beautiful view of the mountains, I was still in a shitty mood.

It had been two weeks since I packed some of me and Kiwi’s things and left Diamond Cove.

She was out of school for the summer, and I refused to sit around and be a sitting duck.

I traveled to a beautiful country town in North Carolina called Stone Ridge, and I rented an Airbnb for a month.

It was a beautiful three-bedroom cabin with a view of the mountains, but I was miserable.

I was mainly miserable because Kiwi and I were at odds.

I couldn’t tell her the truth about my father’s lifestyle.

She was too young to know the gruesome details of the life that he lived.

Because of that, I pretended that we didn’t know why he was shot.

Apricot was confused about why we couldn’t stay with him until he got better, and she was confused about why my mother was barely answering the phone.

My mother was staying at her parents’ house, and she was going through it.

There was too much going on at once, and trying to protect my father’s image had me looking like the bad guy.

All my daughter wanted was to be with her grandfather, and we were an hour and a half away.

I tried to do something fun with Kiwi every day, but she moped around with her lips poked out as if she had the worst life ever.

I was tired of dealing with it, so we just went back to the Airbnb.

I had been out on the balcony for a little over an hour when the doorbell rang.

Looking forward to seeing a familiar face had me scrambling to the door to let Shereeka in.

“Hey boo,” she squealed giving me a hug as if she hadn’t seen me in months rather than weeks. “It’s cute in here,” she exclaimed looking around.

“Thank you. Glad someone appreciates it,” I stated dryly. “I was sitting out on the balcony. The sun is on the other side of the cabin, so it’s not too bad out there. But we can sit in here if you want.”

“Outside is cool. That looks like a dope view. I brought snacks and wine,” she held up the bag in her hand.

“Pregnancy test was negative, huh?”

“Girl, yes.” Shereeka rolled her eyes. “I ovulate in three days, and Bryce insisted that we have sex before I came here. We had sex yesterday, and I’m pretty sure we’re going to do it again in the morning.

Don’t get me wrong, I like sex, but I feel like a bed wench.

And then after we do it, he has all these rules.

He gets mad if I get up before twenty minutes have passed.

We’ve only been trying for a month, and it’s already too much. ”

“I definitely think you guys should relax and just let it happen naturally.” I opened a pack of cookies that she’d brought in.

“I think that’s great advice, but you have to tell him that. He’s being so annoying. If he knew I was drinking this wine right now, he’d have a fit. I needed this break away from him.”

I popped a cookie into my mouth followed by three potato chips before refiling my glass of wine and leading Shereeka out onto the balcony.

“Where’s Kiwi?” she asked curiously.

“You thought I was playing when I said she was acting like a brat? She’s holed up in that room on her iPad pouting because she doesn’t want to be here.

I’m over it. She can ride back with you.

I already asked my mom if Kiwi could stay with her for a few days, and she said yes.

Let me know thirty minutes before you’re going to leave, and I’ll pack her a bag. ”

“It should be safe for you to come back too. I saw on the news where those Africans were found in a dumpster dismembered.”

A chill made me shiver despite it being more than eighty-five degrees outside. I wasn’t even relieved to know that my father hadn’t committed the crime. In his fragile state that would have been impossible.

“This shit is crazy,” I shook my head and sipped my wine. “I grew up with a gangsta ass father, but this shit will never be normal to me. I feel like I’m trapped in a hood movie.”

Shereeka opened a bag of candied pecans and popped two of them into her mouth.

“I feel you. Uncle Devin was that cool uncle that came around bearing gifts and money. I never really gave too much thought about how he actually made his money or what he did out in the streets until you told me why you were distancing yourself from him. You saw it more up close and personal than I did.”

“In his defense, he kept me away from things as much as possible. But the older I got, it was super easy to put two and two together. I’d notice how he’d be stressed and acting on edge if someone close to him got arrested.

No lie, when I was in middle school there was a period of time that he went to at least one funeral a week for two months.

That shit had me terrified as a kid constantly worrying if he would be arrested or killed.

The money is nice, but the drug dealer life is far from glamorous. ”

“He told my mom he’s walking away from the game. Is that enough to make you forgive him and to try and be closer to him?”

“I don’t know, Shereeka. He had someone to break into my house. That was foul as hell and borderline psychotic. I just don’t like how he went about it. My father is the type that will go to crazy lengths to get what he wants.”

“And you aren’t wrong for feeling that way.”

“And a brother, Reeka? I have a whole brother. It almost seems like my father doesn’t tell the truth about shit.”

“I know Aunt Connie is livid.”

“Livid isn’t the word, baby. She’s caught my father cheating in the past. I’m not for sure how many times, but there are at least two that I can remember. A baby though? That takes it up a notch.”

“I went by to see him yesterday. He’s definitely feeling it. I can tell he’s hurt, and he’s sorry.”

That prompted me to snort. “He needs to be hurt, and he needs to be sorry.”

“What about, Uno? Have you heard from him?”

“Nope.” I drained the rest of the wine from my glass. “And I don’t want to.”

“Apricot.”

“I don’t want to hear it.” I turned to look at my cousin. “Why should I have to keep giving grown ass people that know what they’re doing passes?”

“I’m not saying that you have to give anyone passes.

Your feelings are valid, and you have the right to feel how you feel.

Buttttttt, I will say as far as Uno goes, he only did what Uncle Devin asked him to.

You and Kiwi weren’t at home, and your father replaced every item that was taken.

I say you at least give him a second chance.

He saved you from those Africans in the club. ”

I stared straight ahead with an intense glower on my face.

I didn’t want to forgive Uno. I also refused to admit to her that I missed him, and I thought about him often.

Even if I was to forgive him for breaking into my house, he did the same shit my father did.

I was done with it all. If I continued not to see him or talk to him eventually, I’d get over Uno.

It wasn’t anything deeper than a fling anyway.

“You are so stubborn, it’s ridiculous,” Shereeka giggled.

“I just saw how he ran up on you to get you out of that club. I don’t care what anyone says.

That was about more than him looking out for you on the strength of your father.

There’s no doubt in my mind, he would have shot it out with them outside that club. That’s sexy as fuck to me.”

“That’s because you have a weird obsession with bad boys. Yet, you married someone the complete opposite of that.”

“Baby dope boys are good for fucking on and having fun with. I damn sure wasn’t about to marry one.

Aunt Connie lives in the lap of luxury thanks to Uncle Devin, but like you always say, look what comes with that life.

Nine to five men cheat too, but when a man is rich and powerful, that takes it to another level. ”

“Bingo. You just admitted that dope boys aren’t to be taken seriously, so why do I need to forgive Uno?”

“Ummm to get some dick. Nobody said you had to marry him. You’re going to do what you want to do anyway, so I’m done wasting my breath. Pass me those chips.”

I enjoyed Shereeka’s short visit so much that when her and Kiwi left, I was sad.

Curling up in bed, I willed myself not to cry.

Life was a shit show. Shereeka’s words played over and over in my head on a loop.

For a second, I almost picked up my phone and called him.

I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I embarrassed myself quite enough when it came to Uno.

Instead of calling, I closed my eyes and tried to force sleep to come.

Sleep didn’t come right away. My thoughts drifted from Uno to Kiwi and how I was going to handle her. I wasn’t used to being at odds with my baby. I wished someone would give me the cheat code to life with all of the correct answers on it because I was failing like a muhfucka.

The next day I went sightseeing alone. I tried to picture myself living in Stone Ridge, but if I moved, Kiwi would test my patience every day. Thinking about her prompted me to call my mom. “Hey, how is Kiwi doing?”

“She’s fine. She talked to her grandfather on Facetime, and she’s been smiling from ear to ear since.”

“That’s good,” I mumbled. “Kiwi is innocent in all of this. She was already traumatized from the shooting. I don’t want to add to it by making her feel like I’m taking away the people she loves. I can’t tell her the truth and when I lie, it makes me look like the bad guy.”

“Kiwi will be fine. Her grandfather has her spoiled, but you are her mother and what you say goes. She just needs some time to adjust. I’m going to take a page from your book and get away for a while.

I think I want to go to Paris for about a month.

Just enjoy the scenery, eat some good food, go shopping, and just relax. ”

“Paris sounds like a good idea. I think you should go for it.”

“You figured out what you gonna do about the job yet?”

“I think I’m going to have to keep working there. I’ll do most of my work from home. I need the paychecks, and I’m not going to find another job paying that much. Now is not the time to be too stubborn especially since I moved into that expensive apartment.”

“Anytime you need money let me know. I’m trying to drain that bastard’s bank accounts that I have access to.

He’s a fuck nigga to the core, and if I don’t walk away with anything else, I’m going to walk away with enough to be okay for the rest of my days.

If I take him to court, I’m sure I can get the house, but I don’t want it. ”

“You sure you’re not going to forgive him this time? You’ve forgiven him for cheating before.”

“I was younger then and had more time to waste. That’s not the case now.

And even though I forgave him for cheating, I always told him that an outside child was a deal breaker.

I had to have an emergency hysterectomy when you were two.

That’s why I never had more kids, but I wanted more children badly.

He assured me that one child was enough, and that he would be fine if we didn’t have anymore.

And it’s not even like he didn’t know about this child.

He got a paternity test done when the boy was two months old.

He bought the woman a house, a car, and gave her $20,000 a month, so she would stay hidden. ”

“Wow.” My brows hiked from the shock. “Just wow.”

“Exactly. I couldn’t care less about him recovering from being shot. I won’t be there to nurse him back to health. He better get someone else to do it. I have officially removed myself from the situation. I already spoke with an attorney about getting a divorce. I’m going to bleed him dry.”

My mother wasn’t wasting any time, but she wasn’t wrong.

She had been standing ten toes behind my father for my entire life.

Many times, she didn’t even voice when she was upset about something.

She simply held it in to keep from nagging.

My mother walked around for years putting up with things that she didn’t want to all in the name of keeping the peace and being a good wife.

She had every right to be tired. “You deserve to be happy, ma.”

“Yes, I do. I’m going shopping later. I’m replacing my entire wardrobe. I’m replacing Kiwi’s too. Get ready to donate all of her things to Good Will. This weekend, I’m going to brunch with Cheryl. I might try to find a lil’ YN.”

I choked on my own salvia. I thought I was going to meet my maker as I beat on my chest while coughing and struggling to breathe. I coughed until I almost threw up and when I finally stopped, I had to take a minute to catch my breath.

“Okay first of all,” I stated with tears rolling down my cheeks. “Death by choking has to be a horrible way to die. Second of all, please get somewhere and sit down. What in the world are you going to do with a young nigga?”

“Have a shit ton of fun.”

“If I die it’s going to be on you,” I chuckled. “I really don’t even know what to say, but my previous comment still stands. You deserve to be happy.”

“You do too, Apricot. And I’m not saying you aren’t happy, but I see how determined you are to be your own woman.

I see you doing what you had to do for yourself and your daughter even while having millions at your disposal.

You couldn’t be bought, and I admire that so much about you.

I’m not asking you to compromise your morals or values, but the money is here for the taking.

You didn’t do anything wrong for it. Enjoy it. Spend time with your daughter. Live.”

“I hear you, ma, and I’ll definitely take that into consideration.”

We ended our call, and I poured a glass of wine and went out to my favorite place.

The balcony. I loved sitting outside and could do it for hours until the bugs finally ran me back inside.

It was funny to me how life could change in the blink of an eye.

I knew my mother was going to be okay, and I loved the newfound strength she seemed to possess.

My father was going to be my father, and I prayed that Shereeka was right and that he was finally going to walk away from the game.

Then and only then would I be able to try and have some kind of normal relationship with him.