Chapter 9 #4
Her eyes move to my wrist. Always my wrist now. Always the mark. Valerius steps half a pace forward. My mother notices. So do I.
Something unreadable passes across her face as she looks at him. "Mr. Draven," she says. "Leave us."
"No," he says.
The word drops into the chamber like a stone into deep water. My mother's brows lift. Professor Thorne stands slowly. I stare at Valerius. No one says no to my mother when she is dean. Not students. Not professors. Sometimes not even my father but Valerius doesn't lower his gaze.
My mother's voice cools. "That was not a request."
His expression hardens. "Then make it one." The air thins.
My heart slams against my ribs. "Valerius," I whisper.
His eyes flick to me. Only for a second but in that second, I understand something. He doesn't want to leave me alone. Not even from my mother. The realization unsettles me so deeply I almost miss the way my mother's face tightens.
Professor Thorne steps in before the room can become a battlefield. "Dean Starling, I believe Mr. Draven should remain."
My mother looks at him sharply. "Do you?"
"Yes." Thorne nods.
A silent conversation passes between them. I see pieces of it without understanding the language. Warning. History. Fear. Something neither of them wants said in front of me. I am suddenly tired of being the only person in every room who doesn't know what everyone else is afraid of.
"What is happening?" I ask.
Three faces turn toward me. My mother's expression softens immediately. Too quickly. "Your bond is unstable," she says.
"That's not all." I say.
"Valentina—"
"No." My voice shakes, but I don't stop.
"No more careful answers. No more telling me to rest. No more looking at my wrist like something is wrong with me and then acting like I shouldn't notice."
Silence. The bond mark burns. Valerius watches me.
My mother's face pales. "Something happened with the Flame," I say.
"Something keeps happening when he's near me. His magic reacts to me. Wards react to us. Relics crack. Council members corner me in empty corridors before dawn."
My mother's eyes flash. Valerius's head turns slightly toward her. So he didn't know I would mention that. Good. Let them all hear it.
"Magistra Voss cornered you?" Mother asks.
"Yes." I say standing my ground.
"What did she ask?" She asks.
"How the bond felt." I answer.
Mother's hands curl at her sides. Not much but enough. Valerius sees. Professor Thorne sees. I see and suddenly I know with cold certainty that my mother is more afraid of the council asking about my bond than she is of the ward chamber nearly exploding.
"Why does that matter?" I ask. No one answers. My laugh comes out brittle. "Of course."
I turn toward the door. My mother moves first. "Valentina."
"I'm late for class." I say, disappointed.
"You are not going to class." She stops me.
"Why? Because people might stare? They already do." I say annoyed.
"Because you were just inside a failed ward." She points at the ashes on the floor.
"I said I'm fine." I tell her.
"You do not know what you are." The words crack through the chamber.
Everything stops. My mother's face goes still. As if she didn't mean to say it. As if the words escaped from somewhere locked. My pulse fades to a distant sound.
Valerius turns slowly toward her. Professor Thorne closes his eyes for one brief second. And me? I forget how to breathe.
"What?" I whisper.
My mother's eyes fill with regret so fast it terrifies me. "I meant," she says carefully, "you do not know what you are feeling."
No. No. That is not what she said. That is not what she meant. 'You do not know what you are.' The words echo inside me, cold and huge and impossible. Valerius takes one step closer to me. I don't know if he realizes he does it. I do. My fingers curl into fists.
"What am I?" I ask.
My mother looks at me. For one second, there is no dean. No powerful Aether-born woman. No calm protector. Only my mother, afraid. Then she says, "My daughter."
It should be enough. Once upon a time, it would have been. Today, it feels like another door closing. I step back. The bond pulls toward Valerius. I hate that it comforts me. I hate that when everything in the room feels uncertain, his presence feels like the only solid thing left.
"I need air," I say.
My mother reaches for me. "Valentina—"
Valerius moves. This time, fully. He steps between us. My mother freezes. So do I. Valerius's voice is low. "Let her breathe."
The chamber goes silent. I stare at his back. Strong. Tense. Defiant. Protecting me from my mother. My mother looks at him as if seeing him for the first time.
"Be careful, Mr. Draven," she says softly. "There are doors you do not want to stand in front of."
His shoulders square. "There are worse things behind her."
Her face changes. The words strike her somewhere deep. I don't understand them. I don't understand anything. So I just leave. I walk out of the ward chamber before anyone can stop me. My steps are steady until I reach the corridor. Then I break into a run.