Chapter 13 #4
Valerius takes one measured step away. It feels like a thread stretching inside my chest.
Thorne watches me wince. His expression softens for half a second before hardening again. "Sit," he says.
Two chairs appear inside the ward circle, facing each other several feet apart. We sit. The distance is small, but it feels enormous. Thorne begins with breathing. I almost laugh. Valerius looks personally offended.
"Control begins with the body," Thorne says. "If your pulse spikes, the bond opens. If your magic flares, the bond answers. If either of you reacts strongly enough, the other will feel it."
"I don't have magic to flare," I say.
The ward hums. Thorne's eyes rest on me. "We are past pretending that statement is entirely true."
The words should frighten me. They do but after the kiss, after the gold flame above the hall, after the thought yours leaving me like a secret I didn't know I carried, denial feels thinner than it did yesterday.
Valerius looks at me. Not with pity. Not with suspicion. With something steadier... Belief.
My chest tightens.
Thorne has us close our eyes. I hate it immediately. Without sight, I feel Valerius more. His presence across from me. The warmth of him. The restrained darkness of his magic. The way his breathing is already slow, controlled, disciplined. I try to match it. Inhale. Hold. Exhale. The bond hums.
Thorne's voice moves through the chamber. "Picture a door." I picture my bedroom door. The one Valerius warded with Shadowflame. "Not a literal door," he says.
I open my eyes. "Are you in my head now too?"
"No. Your face is expressive." Thorne says.
Valerius's mouth twitches. I glare at him.
Thorne says, "Again. Eyes closed. Picture a barrier inside your mind. Something between your thoughts and the bond."
This time, I picture a wall of glass. Clear.
Strong. Frosted at the edges. The bond presses against it.
Not breaking it, testing it. On the other side, I feel Valerius.
Darkness, heat, control and beneath that, the echo of the dining hall.
My mouth on his. His hand at my neck. Mine.
Yours. The glass cracks. My eyes fly open.
Valerius is staring at me. His eyes are dark. Too dark.
Thorne sighs. "I see."
My face burns. "This is impossible."
"No," Thorne says. "It is difficult."
"Same thing." I sigh.
"Not for you." Thorne shakes his head. I freeze. Thorne says it with such certainty I can't breathe around it.
Valerius's gaze sharpens on him. "What does that mean?" I ask.
"It means you learn quickly." Thorne compliments me.
"I don't have any practical magic experience." I remind him.
"No," Thorne agrees. "But you have survived years in a school built to make you feel lesser and still learned every theory placed before you. Do not confuse lack of access with lack of ability."
The words hit too deep. My throat tightens. Valerius is very still across from me. The bond carries something from him. Not a word but a feeling. Fierce agreement. I look down before he sees what that does to me. Too late. He always sees.
We try again and again.
By the fifth attempt, I manage to hold the glass wall in my mind long enough that Valerius's presence becomes less overwhelming. Still there, still warm, still impossible to ignore, but no longer flooding through every open space inside me.
Valerius does better. Control is his native language but even he fails when Thorne asks us to hold eye contact and block the bond at the same time.
The moment our eyes meet, the wall inside me trembles.
His does too. I feel it. He feels me feeling it.
The bond opens. Not with words but with sensation.
Heat. Want Fear. The memory of the kiss.
Thorne snaps, "Enough."
We both look away. Breathing hard. My face is on fire. Valerius's hands grip the arms of his chair so tightly that black veins of smoke curl beneath his fingers.
Thorne stares at us. Then he says, "You will avoid unnecessary physical contact." Neither of us speaks. Thorne's eyes narrow. "That includes public declarations disguised as impulse control failures."
Valerius says, "She was being humiliated."
"And your solution was to kiss her." Thorne shoots.
Valerius's expression hardens. "It worked."
A terrible silence. Then Thorne says, "Did it?" The question lands softly.
Valerius goes still. So do I, because Mira stopped talking, yes. The hall understood, yes but now the bond is louder. The whispers are worse and I can still feel the kiss like it marked me more deeply than the Flame.
Thorne doesn't wait for an answer. "Your emotions are feeding the bond faster than I expected," he says. "That means your attachment will intensify whether you welcome it or not."
Attachment. The word makes my heart ache. Valerius looks away. I do too because attachment sounds too close to need and need is the scariest word of all.
Training ends with warnings. Again. No public flares. No unnecessary touch. No silent speaking outside warded rooms. Avoid emotional provocation. Avoid the council. Avoid Mira Ardent if possible. Report any dreams. Report shadows. Report changes in the mark.