Chapter 3
Malrik
I can’t stop watching him.
Finn stands at the edge of our group, shoulders curved inward like he’s trying to make himself smaller. The others have given him space — Torric a few feet to his left, Aspen just behind, Darian hovering with that uncertain light of his.
But I’m the one who can’t look away.
My shadow magic flickers at my edges, restless. Responding to something I haven’t let myself name yet.
The God’s words echo through my skull.
Your magic found her. Before you knew her name. Your power reached into the space between worlds and said here — come here — I’ve got you.
Finn. Chaotic, ridiculous, insufferable Finn.
The man who deflects pain with humor and hides heartbreak behind a smile.
He’s been holding Kaia together since he was a child. Carrying a weight none of us knew existed. Reaching across time and space for a girl he’d never met, tethering her to safety while everyone around him called him broken.
And he never said a word.
Never asked for help.
Never stopped reaching.
Something clicks into place in my chest.
I breathe deep as recognition hits me.
I’m in love with him.
I don’t know when it started. Maybe the first time he made Kaia laugh when she was falling apart.
Maybe the first time his chaos magic sparked against my shadows and I felt something answer.
Maybe it’s been building since the beginning and I was too focused on strategy, on survival, on Kaia to see it.
But I see it now.
I love Kaia with everything I am. That hasn’t changed. Won’t ever change.
And I love him too.
Different. Equal. His.
The Eds continue their endless shuffle toward the Gate. Thousands of identical shadows, faceless and patient, streaming past Kaia like a river around a stone. She stands at the threshold, wings spread, guiding them home.
She doesn’t know.
She doesn’t know what Finn did. What he’s been doing. What his magic has been screaming about since the moment she walked into his life.
But I know.
And I can’t unknow it.
His hands won’t stop trembling. His chaos magic sparks and fizzles, exhausted. His eyes are red-rimmed, wet, and he keeps blinking like he’s trying to hold himself together through sheer force of will.
Torric catches my eye. He shifts his weight, creating an opening.
Aspen does the same. A subtle repositioning that says go.
I don’t hesitate.
I walk toward him. Finn looks up as I approach, and his expression — devastated, vulnerable, wrecked — nearly stops me in my tracks.
“Hey, Malrik.” His voice cracks. Tries to be light. Fails. “Come to watch the Ed parade? It’s very exciting. That one just bumped into that other one. Riveting stuff.”
I don’t take the deflection.
I step into his space. Close. Closer than I’ve ever let myself get.
“Finn.”
His jaw tightens. The tremor in his hands gets worse.
“I’m fine,” he says. “Totally fine. Just learned I’ve been magically tethered to the love of my life since childhood, no big deal. Happens to everyone. Very normal Tuesday.”
“It’s not Tuesday.”
“Whatever day it is, then. Point stands.”
He’s trying so hard. Working so hard to be okay. To be the one who makes everyone else feel better.
I reach out. Cup his face in my hands.
He freezes.
“You’ve carried her longer than any of us,” I say quietly. “Longer than anyone should have as a child, especially alone.”
His breath catches. His green eyes go wide.
“Let someone carry you for a while.”
“Malrik—” His voice breaks. “I’m not— I don’t need— it’s fine. I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine.” I brush my thumb across his cheekbone. Feel the dampness there. “And you don’t have to be.”
Something cracks in his expression.
“She doesn’t know yet.” My voice drops. Just for him. “But I do. And I won’t forget.”
“I didn’t know.” The words come out ragged. “My whole life, my magic felt wrong. Like it was stretched too thin. Like it was looking for something I couldn’t find. And now I find out—” His voice cracks. “I was holding onto her. Since I was a kid. And I didn’t even know she existed.”
I kiss him.
I kiss him like I should have kissed him weeks ago. Like I should have kissed him in the hot spring. Like I’ve wanted to every time he made me laugh, every time he looked at me with those sharp green eyes, every time his chaos sparked against my shadows and made something in my chest ache.
Finn makes a sound against my mouth — broken and surprised and hungry — and then he’s kissing me back.
His hands fist in my shirt. His chaos magic flares wild, crackling against my skin. I feel it everywhere — in my chest, in my shadows, in the bond that hums between us.
He tastes like salt and desperation and something underneath that’s purely Finn.
When we break apart, we’re both breathing hard.
His forehead drops against mine. His eyes are closed. His hands are still shaking, but he’s holding onto me like I’m the only solid thing in the world.
“Malrik.” My name comes out wrecked. “Malrik.”
“I’ve got you.” I wrap my arms around him. Pull him close. Let him bury his face in my neck. “I’ve got you.”
He breaks.
Not loudly. Not dramatically.
Just a shudder that runs through his whole body. A sob he tries to swallow. A collapse into my arms that says he’s been holding himself together for so long and he just… can’t anymore.
I hold him tighter.
“You held her,” I murmur against his hair. “Now let me hold you.”
His arms wrap around me. Desperate. Clinging.
“I didn’t know,” he whispers. “I didn’t know what I was doing. I just felt her and I didn’t even know it was her. I couldn’t let go and everyone said I was broken but I couldn’t let go—”
“You weren’t broken.” I press a kiss to his temple. “You were saving her.”
“I was just a kid.”
“You were extraordinary.” I pull back just enough to look at him. Cup his face again. Make him meet my eyes. “You are extraordinary. And you have no idea, do you? No idea what you did. What you’ve always been.”
His eyes are wet. His lip trembles.
“Malrik…”
“I love you.”
The words come out before I can stop them. Before I can strategize or calculate or control.
Finn stops breathing.
“I love Kaia,” I continue, steady now. Certain. “And I love you. Not the same. Not less. Just… yours.”
He stares at me. Those green eyes wide and wet and shattered.
“You can’t just— you can’t just say that—”
“I can. I did.” I brush my thumb across his cheek again. “And I’ll say it again, as many times as you need to hear it.”
He laughs. Broken and wet and disbelieving.
Then he kisses me.
Softer this time. Slower. His hands come up to frame my face the way I’m framing his, and we just… breathe each other in.
Behind us, I’m vaguely aware of the others shifting. Giving us space. Guarding without crowding.
When we finally pull apart, Finn’s breathing has steadied. His chaos magic has calmed to a low hum. He’s still shaking, but it’s different now.
Not alone.
“Bye, Ed.”
The whisper comes from him. Soft. Almost automatic.
I glance at the Gate. Another Ed shuffles past Kaia into the light.
“Later, Ed,” Finn murmurs. His head is still against my shoulder. His fingers are still tangled in my shirt.
I press a kiss to his hair.
“Take your time.”
He laughs. Watery but real.
“There are like a million more Eds, Malrik. We’re going to be here forever.”
“Then we’ll be here forever.”
He goes quiet. His hand tightens in my shirt.
“You meant it?” His voice is small. Vulnerable. “What you said?”
“Every word.”
“Even the love part?”
“Especially the love part.”
He exhales. Long and shaky.
“I love you too,” he whispers. “I think I have for a while. I just… didn’t think…”
“Didn’t think what?”
“That anyone would want me like that. The real me. Not the jokes. Not the deflection. Just… me.”
My chest cracks open.
“Finn.” I tilt his chin up. Make him look at me. “I want every part of you. The jokes. The chaos. The boy who saved a Valkyrie before he knew what a Valkyrie was. All of it.”
His eyes fill again.
“You’re going to make me cry again.”
“I’ll hold you through that too.”
He laughs. Wet and broken and happy.
Then he tucks his head back against my shoulder and watches the Eds shuffle past.
“Bye, Ed,” he whispers.
I hold him tighter.
“Bye, Ed,” I echo.
And we stand there together — watching the dead march into the afterlife, surrounded by our family, with Kaia glowing at the threshold and a million Eds still waiting their turn.
I don’t know what comes next.
I don’t know what any of this means for us. For the bonds. For the future.
But right now, with Finn in my arms and my heart cracked open in the best way, I don’t want anything else.