1. Nate #3
Our gazes met, and Carter must have noticed sympathy in my look.
It was uncontrolled. Dana was a great guy, but he could be demanding.
And, much like vacationing in one place his entire life, he rarely considered options beyond those he had already decided on.
Such as his son’s future. It was lucky that Carter Prince was awfully talented.
“It’s a joke,” Carter said.
I managed a short exhale through my nose and a nod.
Clenching his teeth and keeping the smile on his lips even after it had left his eyes, Carter lowered his arm from the doorframe.
It was a tiny little mercy to not have to keep avoiding looking at the generous amount of flesh his ragged T-shirt revealed and the patch of dark brown hair on his armpit.
“I, uh…I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, Coach. ”
I nodded again.
When Carter left in the direction of the back exit, I inhaled a deep breath of air and held it in my lungs.
But I couldn’t even start unpacking the odd sensations that tingled all over my skin and the suffocating pressure that dropped onto my chest before my nephew swaggered into my office. “Coach?” he said.
I gritted my teeth. “Partridge?” My tone called his sarcasm.
Caden paused at the door while Beckett walked all the way to my desk and lowered himself into a chair. “Feeling alright?” Caden asked.
I nodded. On one hand, it was getting old to face all this concern. On the other, Caden was there, witnessing the hell I had gone through this summer. If anyone had the right to check in, it was this kid.
Caden returned my nod. “I’ll wait outside.”
Beckett looked at him over his shoulder. They exchanged a tender look from where I sat, and Caden headed out. When Beckett looked at me again, he leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “I’m not here to throw a temper tantrum. It’s just that…”
“Let me stop you right there,” I said softly, lifting a hand.
“I won’t undermine your authority among the guys, Beck.
You’ve done a fantastic job in the second half of the last season.
” That was enough to soothe my nephew’s bruised ego, I gathered.
“I mean for us to work together, but the very first thing we need to root out is any thought of preferential treatment.”
Beckett frowned. He had been plagued by the gossip over nepotism since he’d joined this team.
Until last year, he had made quite a few enemies over it.
Being the closest kin to someone like me was like wearing a “KICK ME” sign on your back if you wanted to play hockey like a pro.
Beckett had felt it more than enough times in the first two years of college. “So what? That was just for show?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know how things worked with your previous coach, but we wouldn’t dream of taking such liberties in the NHL.
Your tactics worked in the past. They’re welcome.
But remember that we have a chain of command.
Disregarding your coaches is the fastest ticket to getting too cocky. ”
Beckett lifted his hands in defense. “We normally had pretty standard formations for warm-ups.”
“And you normally had a coach who already knew you all inside and out,” I said.
This was as close as I would come to justifying myself.
Outside the rink, he was welcome to criticize me however he wanted.
And he had. When I had been a moping mess, haunting my sprawling mountain home in nothing but a bathrobe and a generous shot of whiskey in my coffee, Beckett had sat me down and called me out on my bullshit.
It had stung, but it had been the right thing to do.
And it had woken me up to the fact that I still had to live my life. Even if it wasn’t the way I wanted.
My nephew nodded.
“In here, I’m your coach. Harvey and Margot have the know-how and the authority.
Anything you think any of us could do better, you should bring it up privately.
I mean it. Feedback is welcome, so long as you don’t disregard your superiors in front of the entire team.
It might seem like the right call at that moment, but you’re undermining the respect your teammates have for the coaches.
It’ll have a domino effect.” My voice had hardened the longer I spoke.
Beckett straightened his back and sat still. “Understood.”
I nodded once. “Go now. Don’t let Caden wait for you.”
“He’s fine,” Beckett said, cocking his lips into a soft smile. “How about you, Uncle? Are you really alright?”
“I wish everyone would stop asking that,” I said lightly, but it didn’t come out very reassuring.
Giving me a small salute and a smile, Beckett got up. “It’s good to see you,” he said before leaving.
For most of my life, I wasn’t there nearly as much as I had wanted to be.
It was ironic. I had been too busy rising to stardom after my brother had walked out on them.
Julie, my former sister-in-law, would bring Beckett to my ranch in Texas or my home in the mountains for some guy-to-guy bonding.
I’d taken care of them when times were tough, but I hadn’t watched the kid grow up.
I would see him a few times a year, and he would seemingly be twice the height as the last time. And with a mouth on him!
Now I had a shot at being around, but Beckett was focusing on his future, and his life was already better for having Caden by his side.
It was a thing so foreign to me that I could hardly imagine what it felt like.
That stupid envy. Did it ever go away? They were young. They loved each other. They were beautiful together. And they lived in times that were far more welcoming to diversity. For an athlete, that was nearly unimaginable in my time.
Not that long ago, a queer athlete couldn’t dream of a happy life. He couldn’t hope for more than a string of discreet hotel hookups just to feel another human being next to him.
I should know.
I had let my life fly by without ever giving love a chance.