6. Carter #2
Somehow, I fell asleep that night. I fell deep and didn’t wake until late in the morning, missing the alarm that normally got me to exercise at an ungodly hour for the chance of seeing Nate.
I probably wouldn’t have woken up had it not been for the dream.
It was a wild thriller of a dream, fading abruptly as I regained my consciousness.
I groped after traces, vividly seeing Nate’s slick lips, teeth closing around the lower one, his deep purr ringing in my ears when he commanded me to kneel for him.
I could recall the softness of his hand on my cheek and the firmness with which he gripped the hair on the back of my head.
And I could remember the longing I felt in the moments before I pulled his pants down.
The excitement at seeing what he was hiding was the very thing that woke me up.
Pain and pressure in my underwear made me hold my breath.
Glancing across the room, I realized I was all alone.
My erection throbbed as I pressed my palm against the tip of my hard cock, pushing it away by a few inches.
The trouble was, I wasn’t horny at all now that I was awake, but my dick wasn’t getting the message. In fact, I was mostly embarrassed.
If I had hoped to wake up with a clearer head, that was just wishful thinking.
If anything, I was more embarrassed in daylight.
The prospect of seeing Nate at the gym kept me in my bed until half past nine, and the idea that I would have to speak to him tonight at practice kept my guts tied into knots.
I couldn’t eat anything today. Everything I tried eating smelled bad and made me gag.
So I avoided everyone and everything until the moment we all gathered in the locker room. There, I felt weak from not eating.
Sweat broke over me as I pressed my back against the wall in the back of the room, expecting Nate to walk in at any moment. Restlessly, I dragged my palms over my upper legs, and my gaze went everywhere where I wouldn’t catch another person’s eyes.
If I could just sneak out before Nate arrived, everything would be fine.
My toes curled on the flat floor before I put on my skates. The truth was, I couldn’t bend down to put them on because my stomach was heaving at every sound and sight.
When chills ran down my spine and my chin trembled, I felt a wave of such dizziness that I groped for the wall to keep myself standing. That was the exact moment when Nate Partridge strolled into the locker room.
He seemed ten feet tall. He radiated with such unearthly, ageless beauty that it felt like an insult.
As if he had been visited by Adonis in the middle of the night and transformed from a gorgeous man to an incredibly beautiful one, Nate let his sharp gaze scan the room.
“How are you, boys? I hope your celebrations didn’t take you all night.
” As he inhaled, his chest seemed to puff out.
What had rejuvenated him this much? There wasn’t a smile on his face, but a set determination that made him look more alive than I’d seen him before.
“A victory is great. A string of victories is better. You’re not going to get soft now, are you? ”
“No, Coach,” several voices called.
My heart dropped into my stomach. Saliva was gathering in my mouth, and I wondered if it was Nate I was drooling over, but I soon realized I was about to be sick.
I must have made a sound because several gazes found me in the back, cowering from precisely that, and stayed on me.
“Prince? Are you feeling alright?” Nate asked. “Did you have a few too many, by any chance?”
“He wasn’t with us,” Beckett muttered, and Ron vouched for me.
“I’m fine, Coach,” I said, but I promptly gagged and revealed the lie.
“Alright, guys. Head out. I’ll be with you soon.
” Nate was waving at them to leave the locker room.
“Not you, Prince. Stay where you are.” I had only shifted so I wouldn’t have to face him so openly.
“Partridge, tell Margot to get you started. She knows what to do.” As he passed through the crowd toward me, I could hear Nate mutter to himself, “Probably knows better than me, anyway.”
Could he not see how fucking perfectly matched we were? I felt the same exact thing about myself all the goddamn time.
The locker room was empty save for the two of us, but Nate still didn’t manage to reach me. “Carter…”
I lifted a finger to gesture for him to wait a minute, then ran into the bathroom.
What left me was only a bunch of embarrassing sounds and saliva because I hadn’t eaten a breadcrumb all day.
I dry heaved a few times, hugging the toilet, and then pulled myself to my feet.
I leaned over the sink and splashed my face a few times, then washed my mouth for no real reason, then stumbled back from the bathroom.
Part of me hoped that Nate had gone to the drills instead of wasting his time here, but I knew better than to expect that.
He stood exactly where he had been before. In the middle of the locker room, arms crossing, tall and breathtakingly beautiful, the man I could never have shook his head. “What’s the matter, Carter?”
“It must be coffee,” I murmured. “I had a few cups on an empty stomach.”
“Empty stomach? It’s seven in the evening.
Christ,” he snapped. “Come with me.” He turned around, and my gaze trailed the broad upper back, the narrow waist, and the firm, round ass.
I unashamedly inspected him from behind, righteous in my deviance simply because I couldn’t be more embarrassed, even if he caught me looking.
I followed Nate into his office. He showed me one of the chairs in front of his desk and then shut the door while I sat down. He walked around his desk, opened one of the drawers, moved some stuff around, and pressed a small package on the desk. He pushed it across. “Eat this.”
I picked it up and examined the label. A protein bar. My mouth watered again as I peeled off the wrapping and bit off a chunk. From Nate, even a sugarless protein bar was delicious. “Thanks.”
He sank back into his chair and exhaled slowly, watching me eat. “Not eating, huh?” He’d waited until I was almost done before he asked this.
“Wasn’t hungry,” I said shortly, not meeting his gaze.
He waited. And waited. When I was done with the snack, I folded the wrapping several times until it formed a little rectangle between my fingers. “Carter, look at me,” he said firmly but not unkindly.
I forced myself to obey.
“You asked me to stop treating you like a kid, and I feel like I need to ask you the same. Don’t think you can fool me.
I know more about the ways of human hearts than you’d imagine.
Maybe I don’t have a happy family to prove it, but I know what I’m talking about.
I’d had my fair share of good times and bad.
So when you’re suddenly not hungry the day after what happened, you can’t convince me it’s a coincidence.
” Not once did he sound like he was lecturing me.
I didn’t take my gaze off his eyes. I was strong enough to stare at him all night if he wanted. “Did you ever do anything that embarrassing?”
“What do you think?” It was a simple question, but it was suggestive enough to spark my curiosity.
“Everyone who’s ever kissed anyone had done something like that, Carter.
Was it the right thing to do? No. But that doesn’t make you guilty of some horrible crime.
” His voice turned a little cooler as he spoke.
After a short while, he cleared his throat.
“To be honest, I blame myself. I must have done something that gave off the wrong signal. I apologize, Carter. I never meant to confuse you or lead you on. And I think it’s for the best if I tell you so right away.
” He leaned forward and folded his arms on the desk.
“I take full responsibility for last night. Do you hear me? If anyone should be ashamed, it’s me. Not you, kid.”
Fucker. He knew what he was doing, calling me that again. “You’re wrong,” I said sourly. “You didn’t do anything at all.”
“Well, I disagree,” he said in such a polite tone that it only fueled my anger.
My heart skipped a beat, and fear turned my legs to stone, but my mouth worked unhindered.
“Maybe I’m just into you, Nate.” I could see the color changing on his face, and I wondered if I resembled a red rose in full bloom if he was this pink already.
Fire was about to consume me whole. “Maybe I’ve been dreaming about doing that for years.
And maybe I looked at you last night and saw how attractive and perfect you are, and I just couldn’t resist it anymore.
” My voice cracked, and I wanted to strangle myself for showing such weakness.
Resorting to whispering, I continued. “You didn’t need to give me a sign.
I was waiting for an opportunity. I didn’t need you to ask for it, Nate. I just needed us to stay alone.”
His blank stare made everything so much worse.
“If you’ll excuse me, I think I’m still a little sick,” I said, rubbing my stomach. I wasn’t lying, either. Seeing how the blush faded from his face and he turned pale was enough to make me nauseous. “I think I’d like to go to bed for the night, Coach.”
“Can you manage on your own?” he asked in a voice that was as hollow as his eyes.
“Yessir.” I stood up before he told me I could leave and walked out of his office.
What the fuck had I done? Why had I said all those things?
The world spun a million miles an hour around me as I tried my best to stay on course. I walked straight from the rink to the empty team house, but with every step, I felt closer to leaving Northwood altogether.
I couldn’t possibly hope to play for Nate again.