9. Nate
Chapter Nine
NATE
Dana Prince visited me in my dreams. Even when I jerked awake, covered in sweat in a hotel bed, I could see him clearly. I could see his hard features and penetrating gaze. He hadn’t said a word to me, but he didn’t need to. All he had to say to me had already crossed my mind.
My heart pounded like I’d run a marathon as I got out of bed and dragged myself to the bathroom.
Scalding water stung my skin and loosened the knots in my muscles.
The bathroom filled with suffocating steam as I scrubbed my body in the shower.
I wasn’t gentle about it, either. I rubbed my fingers and dragged my fingernails over the reddening skin, my lips suddenly flashing with pain and the taste of blood on my tongue alerting me that I was biting myself too hard.
I stepped out of the shower and held a balled towel on my mouth where I’d split my lip. It throbbed painfully, spreading the metallic flavor into my mouth until the bleeding slowed and stopped.
When I looked into the steam-fogged mirror, I found my blurry shape. Tall, broad, defined by a lifetime of exercise. Attractive to a college freshman. Attracted to him, too.
My heart sped for a short time, stumbling every so often, and I held my breath. When a wave of trembling passed through my hands, I used the towel to wipe the hot water off my body. By then, the mirror was drying, clearing my reflection for me bit by bit.
Last night flashed before my eyes in the briefest of moments, but the memory unfolded in the back of my mind slowly, thoroughly, with every irresistible detail living so vividly in my brain.
His perfect, youthful body, his innocent eagerness, his big eyes full of gratitude and, unmistakably, lust. I could have spent the night simply watching him.
A pang of guilt squeezed my heart.
Dana’s son had quit the Titans and marched into my room.
And I broke every rule I lived by. I severed my oldest friendship without giving it a second thought.
I tore down the walls that had been my last defense.
Not that I had been defending myself from Carter.
It was precisely the opposite. I had tried to protect him from myself.
A youthful infatuation with someone like me was nothing new. I’d had hordes of fans who’d once called me a heartthrob. And I had never given in to using my celebrity status and their fogged vision of me as a way to get laid. Never.
I rubbed my eyes and face and stared at the mirror. The guy on the other side looked tired but not as ancient as I had thought. Not as lifeless.
Am I really feeding off a college freshman to feel young again?
The thought made me wince, and I left the mirror and the bathroom behind.
Naked and with wet hair, I walked through my hotel suite until I’d made too many circles in the living room and had to sit.
I dropped my tired body into the armchair and looked at the sofa.
The definition of his muscles returned to my mind. The redness of his slick lips and the warmth of his mouth, his little moans, his beautiful, small cock in my mouth…
My dick stirred, and I killed the oncoming arousal by deliberately getting angry with myself.
That day, it seemed I saw Carter more times than ever.
In the hotel restaurant, over breakfast, he was sitting with Ron, Avery, and Sawyer, laughing at something.
Only when I saw him laugh did I realize how rare that was.
I hadn’t seen him this cheerful around his teammates before.
Quitting seemed to be a much bigger relief than I had imagined.
Carter greeted me the same way everyone else did. I didn’t fear him spilling the truth to anyone — not like that, anyway. I knew it couldn’t stay hidden forever, especially if we gave in again, but I didn’t think Carter would be the one bragging about sleeping with me.
Even if my heart leaped at seeing his smile that morning, I reminded myself that I was the one with all the power. I was the one who had charmed him, impressed him, made him fall for me, and then allowed him into my hotel room.
I saw him again in the lobby waiting for the ride back, and I saw him throughout that trip. The entire day, Carter was permanently in the periphery of my vision and almost always looking away at the very moment I glanced at him.
That night, I returned to my apartment, hoping to catch a few hours of sleep without being plagued by Dana’s judgmental and furious looks. The morale among the Titans was low throughout the day after suffering a defeat, which coated my mood black, too.
Carter didn’t reach out to me with the juvenile patience that wouldn’t have surprised me. It was a reminder of his maturity, or so I told myself in hopes to relieve some guilt from my rotten soul. Throughout the next day, he was on my mind even if he wasn’t around me.
The drills that evening were odd. I met the boys in the locker room minutes before we kicked things off, wondering if Carter would be there.
His absence wasn’t a surprise, considering he had pulled out.
“As you probably know by now,” I announced after a round of greetings, “Prince decided to step away from hockey. I think it’s a good reminder for you all.
Talent is never enough if you don’t love the sport.
If you’re not driven by passion, your talent might even be a hindrance.
You all saw where Carter’s passion is, I’m sure, so I’d like to ask you to respect his wishes. Alright?”
“Hear, hear,” Beckett called, and the others echoed.
Now that I knew Carter wouldn’t return to practice, his absence was more obvious than when he’d taken a leave last week.
I noticed myself scanning the rink for him more than once.
The boys did well in drills, going over some of the weaker areas that had cost us the game in Chicago.
We had a few friendly matches lined up before the competitive games began, and I found that I cared more and more about the outcome.
Perhaps there was some kind of future for me doing this. Arctic Titans were a team any coach could wish for. Of course, my future with them was still in the air, considering I hadn’t been the first choice to coach them.
I should have expected it, but it still surprised me.
After the players left the rink, I packed my things and walked through the back door as usual.
The air was cooler than on any of the nights so far, bringing fall closer every day.
As I strode down the path leading away from the rink, the movement in the shadows started me. “Nate,” he said in a light tone.
My heart skipped a beat at the sound of his voice. “Hey.”
Carter stepped into the light, hands tucked into his pockets, his youth glimmering on his face. It was joy, actually. He was truly happy for the first time since the semester had started. “I knew I’d find you here.”
“I’m a predictable man, it seems.” We kept a decent distance between ourselves, but my feet were itching to step closer to him. Nothing was stopping me anymore. Nothing in my heart, at least, even if I still didn’t want anyone seeing us together. “We missed you tonight.”
“All of you?” he teased.
I nodded and corrected that. “I missed you.”
“That’s better,” he said and stepped a little closer to me. My arms tensed with the need to hold him. Once I had allowed it to myself, the desire dominated all my other feelings. The longing to pull him in made all my reservations fade away.
But I reminded myself that, at the very least, we needed to have a conversation. “Got plans tonight?”
“This was my plan,” Carter said cheerfully. “Mission accomplished.”
I inhaled a deep breath and held it for a moment. His light brown hair caught the light of the streetlamp, his eyes twinkling like stars, and his lips stretched into such an innocent smile that I found him utterly irresistible. “Did you mention wanting to play the piano, or am I hallucinating?”
Carter chuckled. “I’m dying for my piano, but I can’t talk Dad into sending it over.”
I scratched the back of my neck. “I happen to have a dusty old piano at my place if you want to practice.”
His grin widened, and he shot me a daring look. “You can just ask me over. You don’t have to buy a piano as a bait.”
I couldn’t hold the laugh that welled in me. “Is that what I did?”
Carter shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. I’d love to see your piano.”
“Why do I feel like that’s an innuendo?” I whispered.
“Because it is,” Carter said, shamelessly winking at me. “Also, I was waiting for this invite.”
“I’m not avoiding you,” I said firmly. “In fact, I was going to look for you tonight.” I gestured with my head toward the parking lot, and Carter skipped after me.
The night was the obvious time to see him.
The reduced visibility, the free time, and the lack of suspicion from his housemates made it ideal.
The fact that it suggested romance and passion was risky but also a plus, considering we were past the point of no return.
Even so, I had to talk to him about sensitive things.
We couldn’t do it in a bar or in front of the rink.
I wouldn’t use him again until I drew some firm lines we couldn’t cross.
I didn’t mean to use him, I thought apologetically, but I knew that things simply didn’t work that way.
My intentions were irrelevant when the facts were what they were.
Fame and wealth could easily blind an inexperienced person.
The momentary attraction could look like something more to someone so young.