14. Carter #3
Had my heart not already felt whole for the fact that he knew the worth of my roller skates, these words would have healed me. But now, they only made my chest rise higher and my heart lift with it. “You love me?” I asked, my voice barely louder than the lashing storm.
“I do, baby. With all my heart. With every fiber of my being. I love you.” He bit his lip hard, and I realized he was crying, too, concealing his sobs as if he were shivering with the cold.
“I should have let you make the call. I should have let you choose whether you wanted to risk the torture of being exposed. And if you come with me, I will never play the adult. I promise, baby. God knows I barely keep my shit together. But you make me a better person. You know you do.”
I realized I had been holding my breath since asking the question. Now, as happiness welled in me like a river that was about to break the dam, I grinned and shuddered with the effort not to shout. “I love you too.” The words came out even if my voice was shaky with excitement. “I love you, Nate.”
His eyes widened as though this was the least likely thing he would hear.
But when his hands rose and closed around my face, his kiss was determined and steady.
For all the storms that thundered through our lives, his more than mine, Nate Partridge was still the anchor that kept me safe and sound.
He was the monolith I had fallen in love with and who somehow, miraculously, loved me back.
I rose onto the tips of my toes to kiss him back.
All the love I had bottled down and trapped was now soaring out of me, warming up everything in its path.
It rose wildly from my chest, traveled to my lips, and poured into him.
He was mine in all the ways: my soul, my life, my love.
He was here, taking me away, taking a chance on us.
I kissed him hot enough that our bodies no longer shivered in the cold, but Nate still pulled his head back and looked into his eyes. “Carter,” he said excitedly. “You’re making me so happy, Carter.”
Chills ran through me despite the fact that this feeling heated my body.
“Shit,” Nate blurted as if he only just realized we were outside in pouring rain.
“Come inside the car. Hurry.” And he grabbed my hand, leading me away.
It never crossed his mind to ask if I wanted to return inside either to say something or take something with me.
And it didn’t occur to me that I might until we were inside his fancy, comfortable, heated car, shuddering and waiting to warm up a little.
Nate looked at me from the driver’s seat. “I love you, baby,” he said. “I…never said this to anyone before. I love you.” It was like he was trying to get used to the feel of those words in his mouth. He said it three more times before I laughed.
“I love you, too,” I promised.
After a moment of silence in which we let our gazes feast on each other’s faces, Nate pressed the gas pedal and drove. Shaking his head clear, he said we needed to go to the nearest mall, or we would freeze to death.
I beamed as I listened to his words.
“It’s not important,” he said. “We’ll buy clothes. We’ll change into something dry. We’ll be fine. You’re with me, Carter. You’re really with me.”
I put a hand on his thigh, grinning despite myself. “Should I be driving, baby? You seem a little…”
Nate laughed out loud. “Happy? Because I am. I don’t remember when I was this happy.”
My heart fluttered, and I realized I hadn’t felt this way in ages.
If ever. I had been terrified the first time I had kissed him.
I was thrilled when I kissed him again. He had made me feel all the best things with his words and his gestures, with his lips and with his fingers, but I had never felt as happy as this.
We did what Nate said we should. Shivering and leaving wet footsteps on the floor while apologizing to everyone in our path, we hurried into the nearest store and shopped for clothes while the storm raged outside.
We ate junk food like two teenagers who were just released from their parents’ leash.
We tried each other’s milkshakes like boys on their first date ever.
And when we returned to the car, Nate drove into the night.
He told me how Beckett had made him realize what a fool he had been. And he told me that nothing he had done in his life felt as right and as important as what he had done tonight.
Driving on the highway and through the waning rain, he glanced at me. “This is what I have been looking for all my life.” He looked at the road, then glanced at me again. “You, Carter.”
And I knew he was telling the truth. I felt very much the same way.
Being next to him was the most important thing to me.
We were headed somewhere, though I didn’t even ask where.
One of his homes, maybe even back in Detroit, driving across the country through the night or elsewhere in some roadside motel.
It hardly mattered where we would stop along the way or where we would end up so long as we were together on the journey.