Chapter 1
E llie
I feel like shit. There's a sharp pain in my head that only gets worse when I open my eyes, and my throat feels dry as hell. The room is bright and smells of bleach and disinfectant. I look down at the IV needle in my arm and realize that I must be in the hospital.
"Ellie! Thank God!" Deborah exclaims, quickly moving to my side. "I was so worried when you…" she swallows hard and blinks away the tears gathering in her eyes.
"What happened?" I manage to croak out.
"We were talking, and you just fainted," she says, her voice full of concern but with a hint of exasperation. "You gave me quite the scare."
I try to sit up, but my body protests with a wave of nausea. My hand instinctively goes to my belly, and for the first time in a long time, I say a prayer for the baby growing inside me. I really hope that everything's fine.
"Stay still," Deborah's voice cuts through the fog in my head. "I'll get the doctor."
I groan as the pain in my head intensifies. My vision starts to blur, and I have to close my eyes again. When I open them, the doctor, a tall woman with a kind face is walking toward me.
"Miss Sanders," she says with concern, taking my wrist to check my pulse. "How are you feeling?"
I manage a shrug, wincing at the movement. "Not great," I admit, trying not to think about how weak I sound.
The doctor frowns, glancing at her chart. "You are a bit dehydrated and your blood pressure is high. We need to keep an eye on that. Have you been under a lot of stress lately?"
I nod, my mind racing back to the whirlwind of events that led me here. "Just... everything. Work, it's been a lot and—" I hesitate, glancing at Deborah, whose eyes are wide with concern. "And my baby."
The doctor's expression softens. "That's understandable, but you need to prioritize your health and well-being, especially now."
"So, the baby is fine?" I ask, my voice barely a whisper.
"The initial checks show no immediate concerns," she reassures me, a warm smile breaking through her professional demeanor. "I recommend some time off work to alleviate the stress."
"Time off?" I echo.
With everything that has been going on, this is the worst time to consider taking a break. There's so much to do. Alexander needs me. "I can't just- " my voice trails off when I realize that I haven't seen him.
Where the hell is he?
"Okay, I'll take a break," I say, defeated.
"Great! I'll have the nurse check your vitals in an hour," the doctor says and leaves.
"You didn't tell me you were pregnant," Deborah says as soon as we are alone. Her tone is almost accusatory and that's the last thing I need.
"Where's my phone?" I choose to ignore her.
I don't want to get into it with her. She made her feelings toward Alexander and the likes of him clear. It's difficult to explain to her that he's different and that he cares about me.
"Here. I just want you to be okay, Ellie," she hands me the phone, and I quickly scroll through the messages, panic rising in my chest.
No missed calls from Alexander. No texts. Nothing.
I try calling him. Twice. But it goes straight to voicemail.
"Ellie, breathe," Deborah urges when the machine attached to me starts to beep faster as my heart races. Her tone has changed to something along the lines of worry. "He's probably just busy with work, or—"
"Oh my God, Ellie! What happened?" my best friend, Jenna bursts into the room.
Thank God! Perfect timing!
"Jenna!" I exclaim, relief flooding through me as she rushes to my bedside, enveloping me in a hug. "I'm so glad you are here."
"Why are you in the hospital?" she withdraws as her eyes wash over me, probably searching for signs of injury or illness. "When I got to your place, a neighbor of yours said that the ambulance took you away. I was freaked out! What happened?"
I take a deep breath.
"It was just a fainting spell," I say, trying to sound casual. "It's nothing actually."
"Why do you have all this stuff attached to you then?" she asks skeptically, raising a perfectly arched brow at me.
"They are just for my vitals," I smile, although it feels more like a grimace.
"I'm fine, really. Just a bit dehydrated and stressed."
"Stressed? Ellie, you look like you just walked off the set of a horror film," Jenna replies, her concern mirrored in her eyes. "You need to tell me what's going on. You can't keep everything bottled up."
"The doctor says I'm dehydrated and stressed," I answer, swallowing hard as I wrestle with the knot in my throat. "But everything's okay with the baby."
"Thank God for that," Jenna breathes, but her eyes flash with something deeper—concern, perhaps frustration. "What about Alexander? Where is he?"
The mention of his name sends a pang through my heart, and the absence of his presence gnaws at my stomach. I shake my head and check my phone once more. Still nothing.
She frowns, biting her lip as she processes this. "Have you tried calling him? Maybe he's just caught up in some deal or—"
"Yeah, maybe he's busy," I interrupt her. I don't want to talk about my relationship with Alexander in front of Deborah.
Jenna notices this and follows my gaze to Deborah who has now moved to the corner of the room to give us space.
"Sorry, I didn't see you there," Jenna apologizes for not acknowledging Deborah.
"It's alright, you were worried about your friend," Deborah says.
I can see the questions swarming in Jenna's head. She's just too polite to ask her who she is.
"Jenna, this is my -" I hesitate, not knowing if I should introduce her as my mother yet. "This is Deborah."
I can feel Deborah's eyes boring into my side, but I won't look at her. Not yet.
"I'm Jenna, Ellie's best friend," Jenna gets up and extends her hand to Deborah.
"Nice to meet you, Jenna," Deborah says. There's a twinge of sadness in her voice that instantly breaks my heart. She shifts uncomfortably, glancing at the door. "Well, I'll leave you girls to catch up."
"She's my mother," the words slip out of my mouth before I can stop them.
"What?" Jenna practically yells.
"Deborah is my mother," I repeat.
The room falls silent, the air thick with the weight of my admission. I can see Jenna processing the information, her brow furrowing as she looks between me, and the closed door.
"Wait, are you serious? But…how?" she stammers. "I thought your mother - "
"Yeah, me too," I chuckle bitterly, "but apparently, my birth mom didn't want anything to do with me, so she gave me away to Carolyn."
Jenna's eyes widen with shock. "That's a lot!"
"Why didn't you tell me?" she bursts out.
"I didn't know she existed until a few days ago," I explain. "She just showed up at my house and told me that she was my mother. She had all these baby pictures, and -,"
Tears well in my eyes, and I blink rapidly, willing them back. "She looks so much like me, Jenna. It's surreal. I didn't know how to process it."
"Oh my God, Ellie." Jenna takes my hands in hers, her grip warm and grounding. "This is huge. You must be feeling so many things right now…"
"Confused is an understatement," I admit, feeling the weight of everything crashing down on me. "I mean, to find out that my whole life was a lie? It's like… it feels like I'm living in a twisted fairy tale where the happy ending is just out of reach."
Jenna squeezes my hands tighter, her eyes fierce with resolution. "We'll figure this out together."
She looks back at the door as if expecting Deborah to appear, and then back at me. "No wonder you are stressed."
"This week has just been the worst," I sigh, letting my hands drop to my sides.
"It's okay. Get some rest first then when you are all well you can tell me all about it. I've decided that I'm staying for the week." Jenna says firmly.
"Jenna, you don't have to do that. What about the bakery?"
"Forget the bakery," she insists, her eyes unwavering. "You need me right now more than cake and cookies. Plus, I can handle things at the shop remotely; we've got orders for days, and I'm not about to let my best friend go through this alone."
I smile weakly, grateful for such a best friend. "Thank you."
"Don't mention it. Now get some rest. I don't like how that machine sounds," she orders.
I don't have the energy to argue with her so I nod, the fatigue settling into my bones like a heavyweight.
"Jenna?"
"I'll handle Deborah, and I'll let you know if I reach Alexander," she says as if reading my thoughts.
I close my eyes and let the rhythmic beeping of the monitor lull me into sleep.
When I wake up, it's dark outside and Jenna has made herself comfortable on the visitor's seat.
The room is quiet except for the soft beeping of the machine and the faint sound of footsteps in the hallway.
"Hey, how are you feeling?"
I squint against the harsh glow of the fluorescent lights above, momentarily disoriented. "Better, I think," I say, my voice hoarse from sleep. "What time is it?"
"It's nearly eleven," Jenna replies, stretching her arms over her head. "You've been out for a while. Deborah went home to get some rest too."
I nod, trying to shake the grogginess from my mind. "Did you hear from Alexander?"
Jenna's expression shifts, becoming more serious. "No… I tried calling and texting him a few times, but nothing."
Disappointment settles heavily in the pit of my stomach. My expression must have given away my feelings because Jenna comes next to me, and takes my hand into hers, "I left him a couple of messages. If he's busy with work, he'll come through," she says in an attempt to reassure me, but her words do nothing to the growing uneasiness in me.
"Yeah, he'll come through," I say absentmindedly.
When I told Alexander that I was carrying his child he was elated, and even though we hadn't talked about our relationship, or known each other for long, I was hopeful for the future.
In my head, I had already pictured us, living in a cabin somewhere by the lake where we could have picnics and watch the sunsets over the water while our little one laughs and plays in the grass. It felt so vivid, so real, but now that vision was slipping away like sand through my fingers.
"Ellie?" Jenna's voice breaks through my reverie, gentle yet probing. "What are you thinking about?"
I shake my head slightly, trying to dispel the haze of worry clouding my thoughts. "Just… imagining things." I can't bring myself to admit what I'm truly feeling—the fear that Alexander might not want this life with me, that maybe he's changed his mind.
"What if he's done with me, Jenna? What if he doesn't want anything to do with the baby?" I finally voice out the thought that's been gnawing at my heart. The "what ifs" seem endless, wrapping around me like a suffocating blanket.
Jenna's expression softens, and she squeezes my hand tighter. "Ellie, I know it feels overwhelming right now. But you have to remember that you're not alone in this. You've got me, and—" she hesitates, searching for the right words, "and even if things feel rocky with Alexander right now, it doesn't mean he's given up on you or your baby."
"I just… I just don't know," I whisper, tears pricking at my eyes again.
"Everything's going to be okay, Ellie," she says softly, squeezing my hand as though trying to infuse strength into me.
"And if Alexander doesn't show up, then it's his loss!" Jenna shoots back. "You are going to be an amazing mom, and anyone would be lucky to be a part of that journey."
"Thanks, Jenna," I murmur, wiping my cheeks with the back of my hand. "You always know what to say."
She grins, the corners of her eyes crinkling in that way that makes her look almost childlike. "It's a skill I hone daily while managing cake orders and gossiping about the latest drama in town," she quips, trying to lighten the mood.
The nurse comes in to take my vitals, and Jenna steps back to give her space.
The nurse is kind, her smile warm and reassuring as she checks the machines beside my bed and jots down notes in my chart.
"How are we feeling tonight, Ellie?" she asks, her voice soothing as she raises my wrist to take my pulse.
"A bit better, thank you," I reply.
"That's good to hear. Your blood pressure has gone down," she says, adjusting the IV drip with deft fingers. "If you need anything—pain medication or just someone to talk to—don't hesitate to press that button." She gestures toward the call button on the bedside table before exiting the room, leaving a faint whiff of antiseptic in her wake.
"Ellie," Jenna's voice breaks through the silence after the nurse has left. "What do you want to happen next? With him, I mean."
I open my mouth to answer, but the words catch in my throat. What did I want? My heart aches for him, for the life we could build together, but uncertainty looms large over that vision. "I don't know," I finally admit. "I thought we'd have time to figure things out. It was all so new and exciting until… well, everything turned."