Chapter 7 #2
‘Mmm,’ said George, swallowing and waving his fork around a little too erratically.
‘In many ways. I am not complaining you understand,’ he went on, both hands raised in placation at Mr Morell’s stony glare.
‘She runs the house and the garden impeccably. But the important work is best left to the men, I am sure we both understand that.’
Thea looked up from where she had been staring at her plate to see that the opposite end of the table had fallen silent. Her mother, whilst brash and tactless, was at least skilled in noticing a potentially damaging social situation when it arose at her dining table.
‘Tea?’ she asked, motioning for a footman. We have had ten ounces of the best China tea specifically for this occasion.’
‘Is it Kangra?’ asked the Dowager Duchess. ‘My George buys it in especially for me. I drink nothing else.’
‘I… shall send the footman to check,’ said Mrs Morell awkwardly.
She motioned for him to leave, and the silence returned.
‘So, who have we all seen in society lately?’ she asked loudly, directing the question at the whole table.
Nobody spoke up. Mrs Morell pressed ahead.
‘Dowager, did I hear that the Duchess of Monmouth is in the capital for a spell? We must invite her for tea, Mr Morell.’ Thea’s father mumbled his agreement.
‘Quite so,’ said the Dowager, awkwardly. Silence fell again.
‘And we must invite Lady Foxmore while we are at it. I passed her in the carriage going from Denbury not two months ago, but she didn’t see me or at least didn’t stop – I assume she was heading back to London on one of her voyages.’
Thea froze. Had she heard right? Martha had been back to Denbury? She looked up at Ursula whose eyes were full of compassion.
‘The Countess of Foxmore?’ Ursula asked, knowing that Thea would want to know, but that her voice might betray her.
‘Yes, Martha. Dropping in at home to check on the place I suppose,’ said her mother. ‘It was really quite rude, she must have seen our carriage, and after so long away not to call at the house at Milford.’
‘I am not sure that spending so much time out of society was beneficial,’ said the Dowager.
‘She seems to have gone off altogether. I understand that she is away but to snub us so fully when she is back. I suppose the influence of sailors will do that to you. Perhaps she met one she preferred to society and is living in sin?’
The Dowager smiled mischievously but Thea’s stomach jolted. That was one thing she hadn’t considered but was quite possible, she supposed.
Mrs Morell pursed her lips. ‘Do you have any further insight, Thea?’ She took a sip of wine.
‘No,’ said Thea quietly. ‘None.’ She tried to keep her voice steady.
‘You two were relatively close before she went, I thought?’ said Mrs Morell. Thea saw Ursula blanch.
Relatively close. What an understatement.
Into her head swam thoughts of their bodies entwined, their breath mingling, the whispered declarations of love as both their heart rates settled after hours of passion.
Thea thought her mother might have gone on, but the sound of her heartbeat in her ears became all she could hear.
Her head swam. She needed to take a deep breath, but her dinner corsets only allowed her to breathe at the top of her chest. Her breath became shallower if anything and she felt herself dizzy.
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘Relatively close.’ Then she stood unsteadily. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said, ‘I need some air.’
She fled out of the room as Ursula wheeled backwards from the table and her father stood. ‘I’ll go,’ she heard him say as her shoes met the tiled floor of the hallway.
‘Did you know?’ she asked him, fifteen minutes later when she had stopped crying.
While they had never spoken of it overtly, her father had once acknowledged her relationship with Martha, and she knew she was safe with him.
She had known, in her heart, that Martha must have been back, whether she was away again or not.
But hearing it from her mother was like a slap with wet leather.
Her father shook his head. ‘I didn’t. She has clearly kept it quiet.’ He sat on the third step up next to her on the carpeted staircase.
‘Why?’ she asked, tearing up again as she cycled through the possible reasons.
It was clear that Martha didn’t want her anymore, but hearing about her silent return from her mother, of all people, was too much.
And why hadn’t she been to London? Her house at Foxmore Square definitely hadn’t been opened in years.
‘I don’t know, Thea.’ Her father slid his arm around her and squeezed her shoulders. ‘But I am sure she has a good reason. Martha always does.’
‘Maybe,’ was all she could sniff. ‘Do you think…’ she didn’t want to voice all her concerns, but she could voice one. ‘Do you think she heard that I couldn’t grow any of her plants and was disappointed in me? I did promise her, and I broke that promise.’
‘Don’t be daft,’ her father said kindly. She sat up and looked at him.
‘I’m serious. I promised her this marriage would provide a setup in which I could order and grow everything she sent back. And I have failed. Maybe she knows, and that’s why she’s stopped sending me seeds too.’
‘She has?’ asked her father.
‘Yes.’ She wiped her nose on her sleeve, no longer caring.
‘Why do you think you are struggling, Thea?’ Mr Morell asked, stroking her shoulder.
‘Because I’m a terrible grower,’ she said. ‘You always managed it, and I thought I would be able to too, and I can’t.’
‘Who managed it?’ he asked.
‘You. Well,’ she qualified, ‘you and Scip.’
‘Exactly,’ he said. ‘You can’t do it by yourself when you split your time between the country and town. You need a reliable gardener.’
‘Well, I don’t have that,’ said Thea. She wished she had one like Frankie.
She had found more excuses to visit the physic garden and each time they met, their conversation was a tonic to Thea.
Varied and stimulating. And she sometimes got a peek at Frankie’s forearms, which had lost none of their charm.
She thought of inviting her to work at Hawkdean but didn’t dare ask for fear of being rejected.
‘You could find one?’
‘It’s very hard,’ she said, any fight lost.
‘But not impossible,’ her father said.
‘It feels it,’ she said. ‘What am I doing it for, if everybody dismisses me? What can I offer to a skilled gardener?’ The thought of Martha had kept her going until now, but without her, and the prospect that she might return to see the fruits of Thea’s endeavours, it felt suddenly pointless.
‘Thea.’ Her father shifted away from her, turning to look at her and taking her hands in his.
‘I know this is difficult. Day to day with someone you struggle to respect.’ He ended it there but held her gaze.
She understood his meaning and nodded. ‘People, including your mother, were disappointed in me for not taking court or entering politics, but it wasn’t for me. ’
‘I know,’ she said, managing a weak smile. She loved that he had followed his own path, even if it made her mother furious. But being a husband disappointing a wife was very different to being a wife disappointing a husband. However enlightened her father was, she couldn’t expect him to understand.
‘Collections and plants have given me a purpose, Thea, and I will be eternally grateful for that. Not just for the knowledge they generate, but for the people they bring into your life. To be able to indulge my passion with Martha and Edgar, even Grimston – and later you and Ursula – it was one of the greatest gifts of my life.’
‘But you and Ursula are so far away,’ she said. ‘I only really have Harriet here, and she tries, but astronomy is her thing, not natural philosophy or plants.’
‘You should come to Milford more,’ said her father. ‘It will provide you some respite.’ Thea paused, knowing this was in George’s gift to allow her, and not hers to decide. She saw her father sag a bit as he sat, and realised. ‘I will speak to him,’ he said. ‘And suggest that you can come.’
Thea smiled, took his arm and leant into his shoulder, feeling all the reassurance she used to enjoy from the main man in her life.
‘Not tonight,’ she said quietly. ‘Maybe when he has taken less wine.’
Her father slipped an arm around her. ‘Of course,’ he said, and then paused. ‘Are you alright?’ he whispered into her hair.
She only nodded. She wasn’t alright, but she wouldn’t tell him that.
‘You will find other people to share with,’ he said. ‘People who inspire you and challenge you. They are so important to your life.’
‘Maybe,’ she said, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to anymore.
‘Hey,’ he said, pulling her against him with an arm around her shoulders. ‘You are tenacious.’
She closed her eyes. ‘I was,’ she said quietly.