Chapter 7
Chapter
Seven
Aries
Present Day
“On your knees. Heads down.”
The words echoed through the spacious room, bouncing off the walls and lancing at my ears. Beth was in a mood today, which meant we were going to pay for it.
She always pretended to be on our side, but any side that trapped us here in this mansion, turning us into little docile dolls, was an enemy.
When I woke up here, I was terrified. Knowing that I’d gone from one hell to another and no way out was a hard pill to swallow. I expected things to turn worse, for them to beat the lessons into us, and I probably complied a little too easily.
Consequences had been beaten into me long ago, and I knew that people like this would take those consequences a whole lot farther than my mother ever did. They tried to wrap it in a pretty bow for us, pretending like Gideon and his mansion was a huge favor.
They loved to say we were the lucky ones. They gave us a fancy mansion to live in, lessons on how to please alphas and be mindless dolls, and someday rich men would take care of us.
Take care of us… aka they paid to be able to use us how they see fit.
How any of them slept at night, knowing they were selling omegas into outcomes they would never have to be privy to, was beyond me.
Once the money changed hands, our lives would be over. No wholesome relationship starts with untraceable cash.
I discreetly glanced around the room. Lark was next to me on one side, Silva on the other. Silva’s sister Lexi, of course, was by her side. Luna and Briar were next to them, all in the same obedient position.
The six of us were close. We’d trauma-bonded in a way that felt like a sisterhood. I trusted them with my life.
Even more so now that we had a plan in place.
Freedom was only a few hours away.
In a few short hours, we’d be paraded around as our twenty-first birthday hit, dressed up, glammed out, ripe for the picking… and then while Gideon handled the sale, we would make our escape.
My main regret would be missing the look on his face when Beth told him we were gone.
It was like an out-of-body experience as we went through our lessons. Then in the blink of an eye it shifted to Beth speaking to us about how good we needed to be tonight.
Then the final step, struggling through the event.
I waited as patiently as I could, put on the show they expected, and paid attention to my surroundings.
Then we were running.
I’d imagined this first taste of freedom so many times that it was hard to make sense of it. Icy wind whipped through my hair, the flimsy dress clinging to me as I ignored it all and pushed my body to its limits.
There was no looking back. We had one shot to make this work.
Just as we made it off the property, strong hands wrapped around me, yanking me backward and slamming me to the ground.
My screams were cut off, and I watched in horror as my world fell apart.
The rest of the omegas were gone, making the escape just like we planned, while I was pinned under one of Gideon’s men.
“You thought you could leave that easy? You’re going to tell us everything before you go with your alpha,” he demanded, picking me up and roughly carrying me inside. His huge hands bruised my arms until they ached, his scent sour and angry.
Waiting by the entrance to the mansion, watching the show unfold, a group of alphas waited.
The party was officially over. They’d paid their money, and now they were waiting for their prizes.
Yet I was the only one left.
An alpha stepped forward, strong and broad with a scowl that had my blood running cold. His tongue darted out as he licked his lips like a wolf staring down at its prey.
“I finally have you,” he said in a voice that was familiar, yet distorted somehow, as if time had twisted it into something grotesque.
A shiver ran through me as I finally looked up into the eyes of the waiting alpha.
“Nikolai…” The name fell from my lips as horror washed through me.
“I had to make sure they could turn you into the perfect omega for me,” he said. “You’re finally ready.”
No. This was wrong. My Nikolai would never do this to me. He’d never send me here.
My true alpha was my one safe space in a world that was far too harsh for an omega like me.
“Come on. You don’t remember me? What kind of greeting is this?” he demanded, his voice harsh now. It still held that quality that made my omega want to obey, but now it was laced in venom.
My insides twisted, my chest and stomach tightening into an angry ball. The devastation that crashed into me stole my breath away.
Not only had I failed to escape, but my alpha found me and was even worse than the monsters I expected to buy me tonight.
“No. You would never,” I growled.
Someone grabbed my hair and yanked my head back, a harsh voice whispering in my ear. Gideon.
“Don’t embarrass me.”
He held me tight as Nikolai stepped forward, his eyes narrowing into something I couldn’t recognize. My stomach recoiled as my body physically rejected what my mind was watching unfold.
As his scent hit me, my soul died a little more. It was him.
I would always recognize that scent.
This was my Nikolai.
My gaze flickered to the horizon, where the others had escaped. I was glad they were out, but a pit of despair settled in my stomach that I didn’t have the same fate.
I was shoved forward, my stomach swooping as I fell. It startled me enough that I woke up, jolting up in bed.
My skin was covered in sweat, blankets twisted around me.
“Fuck,” I cursed as I ran shaking hands over my face. “Another one.”
You’d think in the last twelve years or so that I would have gotten over this.
I knew it was a stupid thing to think as soon as I said it.
As my therapist always said, my trauma was not something to simply get over. What I’d been through before and after Gideon, was not the kind of experience I could sweep under the rug.
It was such a significant portion of my life that my mind couldn’t simply gloss over it anymore.
I felt helpless again and I fucking hated that.
The sun hadn’t even peeked over the horizon, and yet here I was, awake again.
This was why I was always the first one at the gym in the mornings. I lived in a perpetual state of exhaustion.
This one shook me more than most. The dreams weren’t usually this detailed and never included Nikolai.
“Fuck,” I cursed. On instinct, I reached toward my phone, but stopped myself.
It was even too early for Briar.
Hell, all of my best friends would murder me if I called before the sun was up.
I trusted all of the omegas I’d escaped with, but at some point Briar and I had drifted just a little bit closer.
Staying in bed overthinking wasn’t an option, so I forced myself into the shower, stripping out of the damp clothes and tossing them into the laundry basket before stepping in.
My shower was probably the place I splurged the most once we had money coming in. I redid it so the entire room was my little oasis. Of course, there was a tub with jets, but it was my shower that really stole the show. It had enough settings and adjustments that it felt like a personal masseuse.
But right now, I needed something comforting.
I switched on the waterfall setting and turned it up as hot as I could stand. Steam soon filled the air, and I let the hot water wash away the sweat, burning into my skin in a way that kept me grounded.
Flashes of the dream version of Nikolai hit me again and my stomach turned.
For years these nightmares were dormant. I’d buried just about every mention of Nikolai that I could manage.
My mind decided it was time to face reality. Why was my brain such a dick?
Pain ached in my chest when I thought about the alpha from my past life. The one who promised to save me, and had every intention of doing it.
For the millionth time, I wondered if he had found himself an omega. Did he look the same, smell the same? Had he changed at all?
Nikolai had always been so tough on the outside, but so soft with me. It made me feel special, prized in a way that nothing else ever did.
I hadn’t felt like that since and I wasn’t sure I ever would again.
I’d heard some of the stories from the other girls—the hellscapes they endured before they came to Gideon. Mine felt so mild in comparison.
Another thing my therapist reminded me was an unhealthy mindset.
Apparently, I had a whole fucking lot of those.
Once I was dried off and in fresh clothes, I snatched my phone and walked to the kitchen, sending a quick text to Briar in hopes she’d answer soon.
I didn’t think I’d settle until I got her brand of brutal honesty. Something about the way she always told me the blunt truth kept me sane.
Dropping my phone on the counter, I turned on my fancy coffee maker, another necessary splurge, and sat down on my favorite stool as the smell of roasting coffee filled the air.
It was honestly one of my favorite scents in the world.
My mind, of course, conjured up another scent.
One I tried to keep buried.
Peppercorn. Sweet, earthy balsam. Damp, fresh moss.
He always smelled like a spicy forest after rain. The same one we’d escape to when life got too hard.
The spice was sharp and brash like his personality, rounded out by something deep and steady.
Safe. That was the best description for it.
A tear slipped free, and I blinked it back, shocked it even happened in the first place. It had been a long time since I’d cried for him.
As the years passed it was harder to figure out how to reach out. I told myself too much time had passed. That he was better without me.
My phone pinged, and relief flooded through me as I snatched it.
Briar
I’m up now. Barely. Pre-coffee, keep that in mind.
Aries
I had another nightmare. This time I didn’t make it out of Gideon’s.
Briar
But you did make it. We all did. You’re stronger than you were back then. Look at that badass gym you’ve built. How many omegas and betas have you taught to defend themselves? You’re a different omega now.
Aries
I know, I know. I just wish my fucking mind did too.
Briar
Our brains can be assholes. I’ve had my share of flashbacks and dreams, but I remind myself I’m a bad bitch. We’re living how we want and we built this town as a big fuck you to the monsters of the world.
Aries
I’m working on that. Hell, I even go to therapy regularly.
Briar
Therapy and enough coffee to take out a small child. My favorite coping strategies.
Aries
I’ve cut back a cup or two.
Briar
If you’ve cut back and still have plenty, you’ve got a problem. But honestly, don’t we all?
Aries
I can’t get him out of my head again, Briar.
Briar
I’ve offered to help you look him up. That still stands. We can find him.
Hell, Lark would be the one to ask. She could find him faster than the rest of us combined.
Aries
And if he has another omega now?
Briar
Then we cut off his knot.
Briar
Kidding… kind of. We’d figure something out, though.
Aries
Preferably without a knife.
Briar
Boo. You’re no fun.
Briar
Go face the day, Aries. Think about the offer.
Aries
Thanks. I’ll keep it in mind.
Briar
I’ve always got your back.
Aries
I have to get it together. I’ve got a lot of classes today.
Briar
That’s my girl. Go kick ass… literally.
Tossing my phone aside, I chuckled softly. One thing I could always count on Briar for was kicking my ass out of a pity party.
She was always looking out for me, and honestly, her dark humor matched mine.
Though I didn’t have any delusions about her offer, either. She absolutely would help me get Nikolai back if it ever came to that.
Every time I considered it, something always held me back. Mainly that I wasn’t the same girl he lost anymore.
I was different.
Tainted.
I’d lived an entire lifetime since he held me by that creek and promised to take me far away from my mom’s wrath. We just weren’t fast enough.
My therapist gently told me time and again that I may never know why they found me that day.
Especially now that my mother was dead. I’d called once, too curious to let it go, and they told me she died in a trailer fire.
The pity in their voices was genuine, but I wasn’t sad. In fact, I was relieved.
She didn’t deserve to live a long happy life and that awful trailer was better off as ash.
My only regret was that she died before facing the consequences of what she did to me.
Every scar, every bruise, every twisted thought she planted in my head, all rested on her shoulders.
She should have been charged when I was still a minor and spent major time in jail, but that fucked-up town made sure she never had to.
Maybe that was part of the reason I still dealt with all of these nightmares and thoughts.
I never got the closure I deserved and I never would.
Maybe it was time to accept that.