Chapter 10
Chapter
Ten
Aries
“Rough day?”
I shrugged. “Bad sleep again.”
“Ah,” she said with a chuckle, “so the knock-me-out special.”
She snagged a glass and started to mix up my drink. I was so out of it I startled when someone slid into the barstool next to me. I glanced over to find Lexi giving me that same assessing look.
“What’s wrong?” she asked immediately.
We’d been friends long enough that it wasn’t a surprise she could see right through any barriers I put up.
“I’m assuming it’s not trouble with the newbies,” she prompted when I didn’t answer right away.
“No, they’re actually really great,” I admitted. “I did some one-on-one training with them today, and they’re ready to take hold of a new life. If you haven’t chosen jobs for them already, I think I’d like to open up some positions over at the gym. It’s in the budget.”
Her face lit up. “That would be perfect, because I was struggling to figure out a place they could go that wouldn’t be overwhelming. They both seemed a little shell-shocked still.”
I had employees to cover the gym overnight, making sure it was open twenty-four hours, but during the day it was usually just me. Maybe I could use a break here and there.
“Now, stop avoiding and tell me what the fuck is wrong,” Lexi said, raising an eyebrow.
I let out a sigh knowing she’d already won. These two wouldn’t let me get away with being evasive.
“The past just loves to keep me awake at night,” I said, shaking my head. “And the new beta, Leon? His scent hit me and I think I’m spiraling a little bit.”
“Like… scent matches?” Lexi asked, blinking at me as she processed that.
“Yes, but it doesn’t matter. At least not right now. He’s in no place for that and I’m not, either.”
“Fair,” Silva said. “It’s not like you won’t see each other. You can ease into something if you want. Or not. It’s always your choice.”
I took a long drink of the concoction Silva slid over. It was stronger than ever tonight, and I winced, then drank a little more. It went down easier with each sip.
“I had a feeling I’d find you here,” Briar called out as she joined us.
She gave me a look before sliding into the seat on my other side. Silva didn’t even ask before making her a drink. At this point, she knew us all well enough that she didn’t even have to ask what our poison was before whipping it up.
Conversation turned a little lighter as we took in the crowd tonight. In the early days this would have blown our minds.
A lot of things had definitely changed around Widow’s Peak in the last several years. We were thriving, our businesses growing, our community expanding, yet it still had that core we always wanted it to have. Safety and security were at the center of it all.
By the time I had my second drink, my shoulders had relaxed significantly.
“Come on, let’s dance,” Briar said, not even waiting for me to answer before downing her drink and pulling me out onto the dance floor.
We didn’t have to worry about alphas harassing us like we would elsewhere. It was nice to simply exist and enjoy a night out.
Not that there weren’t alphas around at all. Widow’s Peak had its share, but they were vetted and Syrus took his job seriously. We weren’t afraid to kick anyone to the curb that deserved it.
The music pulsed around us as Briar and I danced. I was warm and settled, my worries seeming a million miles away now as I gave in to the buzz coursing through me.
“Looks like you’ve got some interested parties,” Briar teased, pointing behind me.
I turned around to see a group of betas watching us. They were cute enough, but the thought of being with anyone made my stomach turn.
They weren’t Nikolai.
Or Leon.
I knew I shouldn’t be holding a torch for the alpha I was too scared to look up.
There were so many times I’d nearly begged Lark to help me. I knew she’d find the answers I needed without hesitation.
That was the problem.
Nikolai was the one part of my past I could never let go of. Yet, that age-old fear continued to haunt me.
What if he had moved on?
What if he’d found someone else?
I couldn’t fault him for that, nor would I break up his happy life. Unlike my mother, I had integrity. She would have fought the other omega just like she’d fight me. Though, back then I didn’t know how to fight back.
Her aversion to her designation was probably half the issues I had finding a hook-up. She used it like currency and I want it to mean something.
“Come on, don’t you want to have a little fun tonight?” Briar asked.
I glanced one more time at the group of betas. They were handsome, not one of them intimidating, and yet I still turned away.
“Nope,” I finally said, closing my eyes and giving into the music.
Briar, being Briar, didn’t push. She simply gave one last comment before doing the same.
“A little stress relief could be good for you.”
And just like that, the subject was dropped.
Thank God, because the last thing I wanted to do was dwell on the past. At least not tonight.
Exhaustion came quickly. Between a busy day working my body at the gym and then a night full of dancing and drinks, I was ready for bed.
I said a quick goodbye to the girls before heading home.
The evening air was refreshing. I let my eyes slip closed for a moment as I stood outside, soaking it in.
Then I started walking down the sidewalk, heading for my home. It had started small, but I’d renovated it until it was fit for a pack. Though I didn’t have one to speak of. Maybe I was still holding a candle for my alpha.
As soon as I was inside, I kicked off my shoes and changed quickly into some cozy clothes before climbing into my bed.
My omega was unsettled tonight. Maybe it was the dream and the reminder of what we’d lost, but I couldn’t seem to shake Nikolai’s face.
It was hard to imagine what he’d look like now. He was always strong, big, built like any other alpha. Between his glasses and his smile, he was my perfect alpha.
I was the only one who ever saw his sweeter side. All those late nights sneaking out and staring up at the stars, dreaming of a better life, changed me. I let my eyes slip closed as I thought about things that were far too dangerous… like how it would feel to have his arms around me.
My chest ached, my omega desperate for the alpha we might never see again.
For her sake, I’d have to try.
Tears slipped down my cheeks as I remembered the way he held me when life got too hard. The way his scent would wrap around me, spicy and fresh and comforting.
Tomorrow, maybe I would finally have that conversation with Lark. See if she could help me track him down.
And if he had moved on then maybe it was time to give my omega permission to do the same.
I didn’t want to be alone forever.
I’d been through enough that happiness should be a priority. Maybe it was finally time to put myself first.
Sleep didn’t come. Finally, I gave up and snatched my phone, risking a video call with the only omega who could help me find him.
“Hey, you don’t usually call like this. Is everything alright?” She had a worried look on her face as she moved through her place in New York. A door closed and the background noise quieted.
“I’ve been having nightmares again. The same old bullshit. But… I think I’m ready to look for my old alpha. See if he’s out there.”
“Are you sure?” Lark asked, giving me a look that was both serious and worried.
At this point, the girls knew about my past. She hadn’t come right out and said it yet, but she had told me I could come to her anytime I needed something.
This was me finally asking for that help. At least for something that wasn’t official Widow’s Peak business.
“I don’t even know if I’ll be strong enough to read the email when you send it,” I admitted, “but I want it to be there when I’m ready.”
“Avoidance. I love it,” she teased before taking the notes I gave her.
It wasn’t a lot to go on. Just a name, a home town, and a general description that might not even match anymore. But if anyone could do this, it would be Lark.
“For better or worse, you’ll have answers,” she promised.
“Thanks, Lark.”
Someone yelled in the background, and I waved her off before she could explain.
“Go be with your pack. No rush. Either way, I appreciate the help.”
“We’ve always got each other’s backs,” she promised before ending the call.
In a few short days, I’d have answers.
Let’s just hope I found my courage by then.