5 Ariuk
Ariuk
No one saw anything.
The weight of my wings revealed themselves as my body shifted to my heavenly form.
It was against the rules to conceal ourselves on this plane, nearly impossible to hide my wings completely despite how much I wanted to.
I shifted uncomfortably as my Earthly clothes dug into my feathers, grimacing when something snagged the wrong way.
The consequences of returning to Earth were major but I couldn’t fucking stand the stuffiness of this plane.
Heaven had become a land of haughty emotions and ‘holier than thou’ rules.
I tried to stay within the rules as much as possible but the craving for just a little bit of happiness in my life meant that trips to Earth were a common occurrence.
Everything revolved around that moment six months ago.
Uriel’s punishment and my disappearance to Earth.
Uriel was gone. I wasn’t fit to be an angel.
And yet… my status didn’t immediately disappear.
Unfortunately, with these dumbass wings strapped to my back, it wasn’t like I could just choose another profession.
Miel’s attention, as lackluster and devoid of love as it was, remained one of the few constants in my dreary existence, though I wouldn’t have called any of it positive.
Upon returning to heaven, I had been reassigned to Raphael’s care, although Jophiel seemed to insert himself into disciplinary matters more than was necessary.
Every freedom I had enjoyed under Uriel disappeared, including the ability to slip away from lessons—despite my lack of gift.
I had become this pedestal for evil, a being that every angel could pin their unsacred deeds on, the reason for why things no longer worked as seamlessly.
And the more they ousted me for my father’s deeds and my inability to fit in with a lack of a gift, my need to be anywhere other than Heaven grew.
The ridicule and harsh comments thrown my way as everyone waited for me to follow after my creator’s footsteps never ended.
Even the divine gardens I used to hide in for a bit of solace had become an easy targeting ground until the only place I felt safe was either at the golden gates or within my own quarters.
Every day consisted of lessons—which to no one’s surprise, I butchered—, manning the golden gates, and then reciting several rules that had been set forth by God himself.
However, with each passing day and month I was stuck in this routine, the purity that used to come with this lifestyle seemed to disappear.
The rules and guidelines seemed to exalt the archangels in ways that gave them unnecessary power.
If I had been able to speak my mind, I would have said that we were praying and worshipping gods rather than following a council of archangels appointed by God. As it was now, my only solace was my post at golden gate #1, an easy escape from the constant jabs about my essence and my future.
Well, that and the trips I still managed down to Earth when no one was watching.
As tight as their grip was on me and my purification, their attention seemed to slip when I manned the gates.
As if the waters would purify the chaotic thoughts swirling around in my head.
The burning need for the chaos in the human world had become more an obsession and it had very little to do with my favorite chai lattes.
It was as if the sinful debauchery called out to my essence more than the purity that heaven was supposed to hold.
Humans were always so joyous and free, enjoying their short lifespans on Earth until the next thing came. I was enraptured by their smiles and their laughter, something absent from the plane I was forced to reside in.
Everyone thought that with a new mentor and as Miel’s promised, I would shape up and fly right, so to speak.
The truth was so far from what they wanted.
Raphael spent most nights trying to understand how I saw the world, realizing that it had nothing to do with being evil and everything to do with the fact that our rules were strict, they didn’t allow for exploration.
He asked questions instead of telling me what I was supposed to think, which was probably why I hadn’t told him to fuck off yet.
The first time he noticed the black spreading farther into my feathers, he stared at them for a long moment before asking if they hurt.
When I told him no, he never mentioned them to the council.
He hadn’t turned me in, even as the midnight edge continued spreading across my wings. I hadn’t bothered clipping them anymore, the midnight edge to my wings making me wonder if it had something to do with my rebellious nature.
Deciding to focus on nothing other than my job, I dug beneath one of the bushes where I had left my white linens and slipped them on over my Earthly clothes before dipping my feet into the stream, enjoying the way it rippled over my skin.
Sunlight danced upon the surface, trying to make me forget the depravity of the job I had been forced into.
If only I could be as calm and unbothered as this slice of heaven was.
No one expected anything of me but sometimes I wished I’d somehow acquire the gift of invisibility so I could disappear into the ether. Too bad we didn’t receive cool gifts like that.
“Working your technique?” Parisa yelled across the way.
My gaze darted over to her. Parisa was walking along one of the golden paths with some of the other women who had been in the crowd during Uriel’s punishment six months ago.
No doubt they were going to their lessons, lessons that would continue throughout their existence to guide and strengthen their gifts.
I didn’t even know what their gifts were, just that Parisa and her posse were annoying.
Throwing her the middle finger, I turned back to the gold lake, waiting for a soul to pass through.
Distant memories of glorious celebrations that welcomed each newcomer through the pearly gates of heaven, trumpets sounding, and archangels greeting each human into a lifetime of happiness without sickness or ill will were long gone.
I used to live for those moments, gorging myself on the human delicacies.
It was where I tasted my first chai latte.
Where I experienced whipped cream and the love of chocolate.
Singing and dancing would ring through the heavens, strengthening this realm and bolstering our essence.
Until one day, it just disappeared. The singing stopped.
The parties tapered off. Human food was nowhere to be found.
And the humans that used to come through the pearly gates stopped coming. And now I knew why.
I hadn’t known before being stationed at the gates. No one had explained the change to me. I’d figured it out slowly, one cleansed soul at a time.
Gate duty had shown me what no one had bothered explaining. The longer I worked the lakes, the harder it became to pretend the change was temporary or that the souls disappearing downstream were being welcomed into some new version of paradise.
Heaven ran on greed and energy that could only be replaced by souls where either saint or sinner could make it past the gates. There was no longer anything special about ‘going to Heaven.’
Instead of greeting smiling beings into the kingdom of heaven, I was greeted with dark globes of essence floating through the gate, waiting to be cleansed before they could assume an eternity of keeping heaven alive.
If the humans knew, I’m sure they would have opted for a different realm after death.
Shit, I was pretty sure purgatory was better than this.
My fingers grazed the newest arrival, images of the individual’s past life flashing in my head.
I winced at the atrocity of his crimes, complete with the horrific screams of his victims. We used to only admit the pure souls, the ones that had proved themselves ‘good’ over their lifetime.
And now, because of this goddamn magic lake, the archangels admitted anyone who had enough energy to keep us afloat.
The souls weren’t destroyed in the lake, but they weren’t welcomed into Heaven the way they used to be either. Cleansing stripped away whatever resistance remained, leaving them quiet enough to be directed where their essence was needed most.
Heaven ran on essence. It always had but the joyous screams of humans who had made it to paradise didn’t fuel this plane as fast as the pure energy from souls did.
Regardless of how a person lived, angels ventured to earth, gathering souls to power the purity of our plane.
The existence of our divine gardens, sunlight, and pretty structures thrived on constant energy.
I had thought the tales of Mother Nature were the true reason life on this plane existed.
How na?ve I had been when I found out that it was the souls that came through the gates.
After a little wash in the golden lake, the souls were then directed to where they were most needed.
My favorite garden was no longer somewhere I wanted to visit.
Knowing that I had enjoyed the serenity of a place powered with human lives disgusted me.
The stale stench of death permeated my nostrils as I bent down to rinse the soul in the gold lake. I didn’t know if everyone else had gotten used to the smell or if they had simply decided not to care. Either way, no one reacted anymore so long as Heaven remained bright and beautiful around them.
“Yo, Ariuk!” I bristled at my full name, hating it more when it was said aloud than when I saw it written down. I didn’t even turn to see who had called it, as there was only one fucker who ever sought me out.